Monday, August 30, 2010

Papa Bear

On a personal note, a very dear friend of mine who also happens to read the blog is in the hospital, and if you're the altruistic sort, or if you'd like me to be happy so I keep posting things on the blog, or even just because I hope he'll read this and know I care, please send kind thoughts/good vibes/sexual healing his way.  He's a good guy and he makes me as happy as is possible without the aid of powerful drugs.

I'm sorry, I normally try to steer clear of this kind of thing, but in this case I'm making an exception.  Actually, no, I'm just doing what he deserves.  Less than he deserves.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Because I Can't Leave Well Enough Alone

I had some requests for elaboration regarding the dirty nursery rhymes in my Flash Fiction Friday this week.  I'm not totally sure why I had the object of desire reciting filthy Mother Goose, but it just happened.  So since I've got nothing better to do than work, mope, or work, I've taken a bit of time out of my moping schedule to work on the topic of dirty nursery rhymes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a good hard fuck.

Jack tripped on a rock and dirtied his cock;

Said Jill, "Oh what rotten luck."

Jill gave Jack a big old whack 'cause Jack was getting randy.

She reached down and grabbed his crown

and said, "He's dumb but he's handy."

Jack and Jill had time to kill so Jill got on her knees

Jack came in her eye and made her cry

And off she ran through the trees.

Jack chased Jill back up the hill and gave her a great big kiss.

She begged him, "Dear, let's do it right here."

Then they lost themselves in bliss.


Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

To get her poor dog a bone

But when she bent over, the randy old Rover

Proved he already had one.


Sing a song of sixpence,

A pocket full of rye.

Four and twenty peckers

Came in my pie.

When my legs were opened

The cum began to leak

And I don't think I'll walk straight

For at least a week.


Ring around the rosy

My ass is nice and cozy

Fuck me

Fuck me

Anal now!


It's fun.  I'm definitely open to submissions; there are plenty of nursery rhymes I'm forgetting, and maybe you can do something slightly subtler than I have (though that last one would get a lot of use in my household).  Maybe a dirty nursery rhyme contest?  I've got no prizes, but then neither does FFF.  Hell, I'll take limericks too.  Any sort of dirty doggerel will do.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday - Resolution

She is worth waiting for. So worth it. I can see her now, feet dangling from the chair, skirt threatening to slip up and expose the delicate skin, hair flung back with abandon as she sings a nursery rhyme with words changed to make it filthy.

Why do I picture her like this? I’ve never seen her like this. She is cold and hard as steel; she would never be seen in such a silly outfit, in such a silly position.

My love is not a summer rose. She may not even be my love, not yet, but she will be.

One hundred twenty-seven days left. When the new year dawns, I will show her how she could be, with me. She is so worth waiting for.


Kudos this week go out to Advizor for stepping in and hosting while PB is busy.  He's a mensch for doing it; if I were a better person, I would have, but I'm definitely not a better person, not in the slightest.

And in case anyone is keeping score, I own those shoes and enough books to make this scene happen, but it's not me, not that anyone was thinking that.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Jag

Just a short post.  My weekend was long, long, long.  I had more work than I could handle and virtually no sleep, then I had to drive Sveta back to college with very little time to say goodbye.  So I'm obviously feeling peachy-fucking-keen right about now.  It doesn't compare to the suffering of the world, but it's my own private little slice of sunshine.

So if I'm less communicative for a bit, you know why.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Haven't Done It

I received an off-topic and anonymous question, but that's not going to stop me from answering it.  I'll take 'em any way I can get 'em, folks.

"Is there a sex act you haven't done yet but would like to?" - Anonymous

I may have answered this before (I honestly can't remember) but if I have, it's likely I've changed somewhat.  I've done many things that I'd do again, and there are few things I'd never do.  And I've mentioned some fantasies of mine in the past which weren't beyond the pale.  And, yes, there are some things that I'd love to try but will never be able to attempt, for various reasons.  I guess I should subdivide fantasy from possibility.

As far as fantasy goes, I'd love to make love in null-G.  I suppose it's technically a possibility, but it's never going to happen.  Even if I could somehow talk my way onto one of those planes that simulate null-G (no, I won't be going into outer space), I doubt they'd let me fuck on one.  I'm a bit surprised that no one has ever done it for a porno though; maybe the companies won't let them, or maybe I haven't seen it.

Similarly, I'd love to make love in free-fall, some kind of tandem skydiving harness where we'd be face to face, or even spooning.  Again, technically feasible, but not going to happen because I could never jump out of a plane.  I am a wuss when it comes to heights like that.  Actually, this is a problem for the previous fantasy too, because I'm not a flier (which is why joining the Mile High Club isn't on this list).  I don't believe that planes actually fly; I think Bernoulli was pulling everyone's leg and we're suffering from a mass-hallucination which will cause my plane to crash if I set foot on it, so for the good of all the rest of the hypothetical passengers and crew I stay out of planes.  It's civic duty, that's what it is.  But the idea of sex in flight is tantalizing, isn't it?

Moving more into the realm of the improbable but not impossible, I could see having sex on a roller coaster.  Not likely to happen, but still, people have definitely done it.  I think I'd also enjoy making love underwater with some kind of breathing apparatus, and the reason I don't do that is because it's complicated and I think would be more fun to watch than to actually do.

Then there are some things I can't discuss.  We'll just leave those.

Now, onto the things I'd actually like to have happen and think may at some point.  For starters, as mentioned in the previous post about DP, I'd like to switch up my DP options a little, and I'd really like to try upside down DP, particularly if I could find two bi guys who would be comfortable making out while they fucked me.  I've had two bi guys, but never with upside down DP.  I'm not holding out for that though; I'd take any two guys willing to give it a shot.  It will doubtless suck, but I'm more and more into the idea of trying it.

Once, way back when, I mentioned rigging up some kind of harness so I could stay wrapped around a guy all day, his cock sticking up into me the whole time.  It's not exactly bondage, but I could enjoy a little bit of bondage for that.  It'd have to be someone with strength and stamina, but unfortunately I don't think my Dad would ever go for it, plus his back isn't up to it.  I'd love it if we just had to pee on each other if we needed to, go to the shower and just let it go, then wash off.  I'd really love to walk around town like that, but there we're back into fantasy land.

I've tried most sexual positions; Mike and I were very adventurous when we were younger.  So there really aren't too many sexual position-type things I can say here.

I'd love to have a creampie party the way they do in porn, a gangbang (which by itself I've had, and would love again) where every guy creams me, over and over.  I could just lie there with my ass in the air and get filled up to the brim with cum.  I would enjoy the hell out of that.  Mike and I have tried duplicating it with just him, and it's fun enough like that, but with a bunch of guys, even three or four if they were willing to keep at it, I'd melt like butter.

And as I've mentioned, I've never been pregnant, and while that's not technically a sex act I guess, it would open up a whole realm of pregnant sex, to say nothing of the other benefits.  Someday.

This is not taking into account the things I've done once and wish I could repeat, or things I've done with someone but wish I could do with a different someone.  These are things I've never done.

I can't think of anything else which might answer this question, but I come up with crazy ideas sometimes and then forget them, and sometimes Sheri inspires craziness in me too.  And Mike.  Hell, Sveta doesn't inspire craziness, but she inspires other things.  Some day I really hope to be able to do something with her that I've never done with anyone else before.  I don't know what it is yet, but I keep hoping.

Thanks for the question, and keep them coming.  I won't promise answers, but I usually answer the interesting ones at least.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday - Merciless

"Mistress, we caught a runaway."

The guards threw me to the floor before her. "You may leave us," she said softly. I looked up and saw her there, in the act of dressing, her two handmaidens pulling at her corset, their eyes somehow accusing. "Now, pet, what were you running from?"

I couldn't tell her. I used the lie my mother taught me. "Your beauty was too much for me, mistress. I couldn't breathe."

"All is forgiven," she said, magnanimously yet dismissively, turning away, touching her ring... and suddenly I was alone and in agony, yet with no marks on my body. Nothing must mar the flesh of her handmaidens, but they are punished all the same. My screams are silent but they never stop.


And with that cheerful bit of fiction, we close this week.  I couldn't get the accusing stare out of my head whenever I looked at the picture.  It's so Rococo and yet intensely dark at the core.  Not an easy piece to deal with.

The picture reminded me of a scene in the movie MirrorMask, actually.  The dressing and suddenly becoming someone else, the contrast between the sweetness and light of the song and the creepiness... yeah, you might need to see the whole movie to get where I'm coming from, but maybe not.  It's a connection I thought I'd share for the benefit of certain people who know who they are.

Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it.  Whatever.  Flash Fiction Friday is a mirror; when a turkey stares in, no bodhisattva stares out.  No, wait, that's Zen.  Flash Fiction Friday is more pornographic than Zen is, and that's saying something.  I'm not sure what, but something.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Doubly Penetrating Question

This is a short one, but still worth answering.  It came up in conversation and seemed like the perfect thing to talk about briefly.

"Which style of DP do you prefer: face-up or face-down?" -Sveta

I shouldn't neglect to mention that there are really more than two options in that regard.  In fact, I was discussing with someone else my strange and possibly unhealthy desire to attempt DP upside down; that is, standing on my head with the two guys standing above me.  And of course, one doesn't have to be that crazy to attempt standing DP, which can be quite nice if you can swing it.  Finding the suitable pair of guys is essential in either of those situations.  And even if you're all lying down, there are a number of different variables; you could reverse cowgirl on the one guy while the other guy straddles him and fucks your ass, or you could try the same thing with the bottom guy in your ass, or you could attempt the double doggie, where both guys are behind you, one slightly lower (as illustrated in this gallery).  [EDIT] There's also the possibility of double spooning, basically DP on its side, which I would imagine would provide a way for both men to take a fairly active role, but I've been unable to locate any pictures or video of it, so maybe it's more complicated than it seems or maybe it's just not terribly photogenic as a position.  I can't find any upside down DP pictures either, actually.

But the practical woman sticks with the two basics, I'm afraid, and it is to those two basics that we shall refer: face-up meaning sitting on the one guy with his cock in your ass while the other guy fucks you sort-of-missionary (fig. 1); face-down meaning cowgirl on the bottom guy while the top guy fucks you in the ass from behind (fig. 2).  Because I love visual aids:

Face-Up (Figure 1):

Face-Up DP

Face-Down (Figure 2):

Face Down DP

Both images from this nice gallery of photos.

Having hopefully not bored you quite to death (oh who am I kidding; those photos should wake you up) I shall proceed with the answer to this question, which is hopefully complicated enough to warrant all the exposition.

It depends.

Okay, there you go.

No, only kidding.  It does depend, but there's more to it than that.  For sheer comfort, I'd have to say that nine times out of ten face-down is the way to go, simply because it's less awkward.  Most of my DP has been in this position.  It just seems the least complicated.

If the guy who's looking to do me in the ass is enormous or I know he's rough with anal, I prefer face-up simply because the anal is less of a driver than the vaginal in that position.  I don't mind sitting and squirming on a big cock while having my pussy fucked well.

If we're going to switch off and the guys might switch around, I like to start out face-up and then, when I'm tired, retreat to the easier face-down.  I can lie on the bottom's chest and just let them go to it.  This is also why I usually prefer face-down when my Dad is involved; he's not going to switch, but his stamina means that he's likely to finish last, which means he won't be trapped under me while someone else goes at me from above.

But in terms of my favorite, all other things being equal, I'd have to say I actually prefer face-up.  It's more awkward and less typical, but it's still more fun to me.  That may be because I get it almost never (DP isn't exactly on the menu every day for me, and the vast proportion of what I do get is face-down.  But I enjoy missionary, and I'm not as fond of cowgirl, so that's probably part of it too.  It's more like lying on someone and being fucked missionary than anything else.  I've actually enjoyed sticking a toy in my ass and then being fucked missionary; it duplicates some of the sensations.  But I also like lying back against another body while I look into the top's eyes.  The bottom can do various fun things with his hands too.

So I guess that answers that.  It's not like I turn down any DP (I don't) but I do occasionally enjoy some face-up.  I still want to try upside down though.  And some day I might work up the guts to attempt double vaginal, although double anal is probably out of the question, at least until I get old and incontinent and then who'd want to do it to me?

What the hell, we're calling this one a Porn of the Day too.  Here's some more DP galleries:

  • 1 and 2, because I almost used pictures from these as illustrations.
  • This one, which gets really close to upside down but chokes in the clutch.
  • This one, for a decent example of both standing and double doggie.
  • 1 and 2, because there's nothing that improves DP like having a cunt to lick while getting it.
  • Here's another I could easily have used.

And for good measure, just to DP the place up completely, some videos:

  • An adorable girl getting the business end of two cocks, possibly my favorite of the bunch.
  • Then there are a few (Liana, Coral, and Genesis) all of which seem like the same series.  Genesis seems like she's going to split in two she's so tiny, but she takes cock in the ass like a pro, which she undoubtedly is.
  • Here's one featuring a pool, and while the echoing sounds of fake enjoyment do get a bit annoying after a while, it was worth including because the girl is very attractive in her pink bikini.
  • And last, one which I think is German that I enjoy partially because it's just so business-like.  I have no idea what they're saying, but everyone seems pretty laid back about it, like they all got together to shoot a video with DP and have a bit of fun doing it.  It's not particularly passionate, it's just sex.  Nothing wrong with that.

Okay, enough.  I could go trolling for porn all day if I let myself.  If anyone has any questions, or suggestions on DP positions I forgot, or even pointers on how to make upside down DP enjoyable, I'll take them.

[EDIT AGAIN] I would just like to point out that porn isn't real.  DP is, but it seldom happens the way it does in porn.  Be safe, kids, and don't base your expectations of life on the movies.  DP in real life is way better than in porn anyway.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Robert Burns One, Not the John Steinbeck One

Way to start out the post with a bang.  Right now, everyone is wondering what the Hell the title means.  If you're not wondering, I'm unable to marry you because you might be my clone, but congratulations for knowing my mind a little too well.  If you're normal, "Of Mice and Men" is from a line by Burns which often gets quoted: "The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley."  And in case you don't speak Robert Burns, you're no doubt familiar with the phrase, "the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

As the sun slips slowly into the West and my readership slips slowly into bored dozing, allow me to clarify: I had plans, they weren't well-laid but acceptably so, they went kerflooie.

Last week was not a good week.  For various reasons.  Then the weekend, which had promised some surcease of sorrow (Poe) in the form of being able to spend time with Sveta or Dad or both got fucked into a cocked hat and scrambled and I wound up spending it scrambling around and absolutely dying for a cigarette even though I only wanted one for the nicotine involved.

So today, I had less to do, Sveta had some free time, and plans were laid in to have her over for things which are colloquially described as rumpy pumpy.  It was an opportunity to make up for last week, and for the weekend when I had basically had to blow her off for various things.  Also for other stuff.

It warms my heart that, even though Sveta has seen a gentleman sexually a few times while I've been unavailable, she still misses being with me.  Sveta doesn't have a beau, per se, just a fuck-buddy.  He's a year ahead of her in college, although at a totally different school.  And he has a place where they can go to get busy, so she doesn't have to bring him over to my house and lie.  It's a good return to form for her; she's not interested in him the way she was with James, but they can do similar bed-oriented things.  But she makes him wear a condom, sensibly, so she only gets cream from family, as it should be, at least at the moment.  And he doesn't make her cum like I do.  Just stating the facts.

So I went to bed early yesterday, not as early as I would have liked, but early enough, I hoped, to be able to get up in time to do some things before Sveta came over.  Wrong.  I slept way in.  I was drained.  When I woke up, the house was empty; I'd missed my chance to get to Dad in the morning, missed a chance to get my work done... yeah, it wasn't as shitty as people who had to get up whether they wanted to or not, but it was worse than I wanted.

I gave Sveta a call and told her I was really sorry; did she want to come by for dinner instead?  She was fine with that, so I got in a little work and emailed some people and so forth.  She came over before dinner (and by that I mean before it had even been started) and I was still working on something, hadn't even had a chance to shower.

But it was okay.  I was so sorry for everything that I cried a little, and we kissed and made up for whatever it was, then given a choice between having dinner made on time and taking a shower I chose option three, which involved asking Mom to make dinner on short notice and making it most of the way to the shower before being waylaid by an intense need to give Sveta a toe-curling orgasm by whatever means necessary.  I got a vibe, one of mine that moves around a bit, into her ass and then put every effort I had into tonguing and nibbling her clit until she actually begged for mercy.  I got really worried at that, wondered if I was doing something wrong like the insecure idiot I am, and she said no, it was great, but could I back it up just a little bit?

We did eventually wind up in the shower.  Mostly it was just kissing and holding each other as we lay there in the tub with the warm water cascading down on us.  I could feel some of the stress draining away, at least for the moment (although it wasn't really gone, just postponed slightly).

And then Dad poked his head through the door and said, "Hey kids, dinner's ready."

"Help us dry off?"

And he came in, and he was naked and his cock was bobbing at full staff, and he said, "I've had such a day," which was when we jumped him and pulled him into the water with us.

It wasn't long before Sveta was easing her wet cunt down over his upthrust cock and rocking, her ass making little splashes in the water.  I didn't want to drown Dad so I let him finger me while I kissed Sveta, then bent over and spent some time first suckling at her nipples and her gorgeous breasts and kissing her belly button rather a long time, then switching around and kissing and licking my way down her back to her butt, which I kissed and nibbled ruthlessly.  The taste of her wet backside... divine.

There was a lot of sloshing of water going on until eventually we turned off the water and Dad flipped Sveta around and started pressing into her honey pot from behind while I sat on the ledge of the tub and let her kiss my pussy every so often.  She wasn't really able to do more than that, but my fingers helped.

Dad finally pressed in and pumped her full of what she wanted, then withdrew and let me clean up somewhat, then we dried off a little and traipsed down to dinner, where Mom was sitting there with a raised eyebrow looking at the clock.  Dad looked too and then yelled, "Damn it, I'm late," and raced back upstairs to get into some clothes.  He had a meeting in ten minutes, which he just made it to.  We're such naughty girls, we are.

Mom and Sveta and I actually had a nice long talk about things in general, random stuff mostly, although she did want to hear about Sveta's new boy and how he was treating her.  Then we watched something, but the poor dear was falling asleep on my shoulder, so I took her to bed and snuggled in for a while, but although I had really wanted to be able to fall asleep with her, no chance of that; it was too early and I had been asleep too late.

But still, even if the plans went awry, it wasn't exactly bad how things turned out.  I'm feeling a bit better now, although being at the computer reminds me of all the things I have to do that I didn't get to this morning.  So I'm off to try to work on them.  I really wish Sveta were still awake, or Dad, or Mike, or somebody, because while I don't begrudge her the loving, it meant that there was less of it for me and I could really use some good hard cock right about now.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday - Heavenly

Red at Night by Carter Vaughn

Insistently he begged her to submit, to allow him into her. She had thus far preserved what little virtue she had; he had been satisfied by her hands, then her mouth, on numerous occasions. But now he wanted it all, and as they knelt naked on the floor, she knew she would give it to him.

The first rush was pure pleasure as he slid into her. No obstruction marred the entrance, no new pain greeted them. And as her body glowed in the wash of crimson light, she looked up at the stained glass window above them and saw two figures in red, in the same positions. He was behind her, and her face was smiling. And she knew; God ordained this.

That divine provenance carried her up the heights of climax, and four figures, bathed in ruby passion, prayed together in the oldest way.


There's only the one this week, but I liked it because I'm a bit spiritual despite my pragmatic leanings and I really do believe that religion and sex can both have a place in life.  If the stained glass windows in churches looked like this, I'd spend a lot more time in church, I can tell you that.

No cajoling this week; if you don't want to have fun and learn new things and meet great people and read terrific writing and join the community and just plain be a better person, who am I to force you?  Flash Fiction Friday will still be there when you wise up.  I hope, anyway.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Asking For It

Advizor had a good question in the comments to the last post, and since I almost never get questions to answer, I thought I'd make a post of this one.

"But, I'll ask you a question that's been in my head all week. how do you ask for an orgasm when you don't really want "sex"? You don't want to make her feel "like a sex toy" but sometimes a little 'gasm is just what the doctor ordered? But how do you ask for it without sounding selfish?"

The simple answer is that I don't.  Not from Sveta.  While maybe at some point in the future we might get to the point, relationship-wise, where I don't feel like quid pro quo is necessary, I almost hope that we don't, because I can get myself off if all I want is an orgasm, and I don't feel loving asking her to do it for me.

That's not to say that we're always on equal footing when it comes to making each other cum.  There have been a few times when I've made her cum and not vice versa.  Usually I cum more times in a session than she does even if we're both getting off.  That's only natural; it's not a contest and we don't keep score, so there's no reason to count and make sure we're all even.  Plus the fact that it's much harder to get her off than it is to get me off, but correspondingly, her orgasms seem to make up for the lack of quantity by some increase in quality.

It's an issue with lesbian sex, at least for me.  Both partners have to do some work in order to get the other partner off, so if one partner isn't feeling it, that tends to make it a choice between the other partner doing all the work, or sex not happening.  There are undoubtedly lesbians and bi women out there who would disagree, but that's tended to be my experience.  I always feel a bit bad asking another woman to just get me off, when I can, as I said, do that myself, probably with less effort.

With men, on the other hand, it's totally different, for me anyway.  Some guys, it takes effort, but with a lot of them, I can let them do the driving and that's perfectly fine; they get off because I'm a warm wet opening that looks decent and will accept penetration.  Maybe it's a sign of creeping misandry in my make-up, but I feel like I can be satisfying to most guys without the same level of commitment.  Hell, guys have fucked me while I was basically asleep and enjoyed themselves, and I got nothing out of that other than a warm feeling, which is essentially all I put into it in the first place.

When I was younger, I used to have no problem asking Mike to get me off.  If he was available and I just wanted a nice orgasm to cure what ailed me, I'd find him in the house, snuggle up to him, and say, "Mikey, do you mind getting me off a little?"  Maybe not those exact words, but it was pretty much that simple.  Then I'd go lie back and he'd come over and fuck me, and I might possibly diddle myself to move things along.  Then once I came, he'd take over completely and do all the work until he came.  And part of the reason why that worked was because he knew that, if he really wanted to cum, he could ask me the same thing and I'd help him out and enjoy myself even if all he was doing was fucking me to get off (actually, sometimes he wouldn't ask, just ambush me and squirt, but that was him being a goof and I enjoyed it most times).  And I think another part of it was that I enjoy creampies too, so getting one works the same way as having a mental-health O.  Sometimes getting creamed makes me horny though, so then I wind up feeling better and wanting to keep fucking, which isn't a bad thing.

I've had similar arrangements with a few other guys, where it was understood that if one partner or the other was having a bad day and just needed an orgasm, the other partner wouldn't look to their own enjoyment so much (although again, in my experience it's easier for a guy to get off with a girl who's not into it than the other way 'round, so guys tend to make out slightly better on the deal with me).  But those arrangements were the exception, not the rule, and didn't tend to last all that long.  I suppose I could have the same arrangement with a woman, and I sort of did with Gwen, but that was more like with Sveta, where we don't necessarily count and try to even up the orgasm score.  And I've certainly taken advantage of people for a quick O, which I'm not proud of and I try hard not to do any more.  I wouldn't do that to someone I cared for.

I guess what it boils down to is that it's not just an orgasm, it's a connection.  An orgasm I can give myself, but Sveta wasn't interested in sex, she was interested in that connection.  If I had been up for the connection but hadn't given her an orgasm, that would have been okay for me, but since I wasn't up for the connection, who got orgasms is almost a secondary concern.

In summation, both partners not cumming or not necessarily bringing the same level of focus isn't the issue.  The issue is that both partners should commit to the connection, at least in cases where both partners are supposed to.  That's love, rather than sex.  And I let down the love side a bit.  I could have forced myself to give her an O, but that wouldn't have been what she wanted. 

Hope that scratches the surface of the question, even if it rambled a bit.  I love questions as interesting as this one, so keep them coming if you've got them.

Shagged Out After a Long Squawk

I had meetings.  Plural.  Today.  Oy.

I don't talk work much, but today I got to see just how bad my life is going to get in the next 6 months.  It drained me.  Actually having to do what I'm foreseeing will suck even more, but seeing it was enough to make me want to curl up in a little ball and pray for death.

Of course, tonight was a night that Sveta was free, and I had meetings and didn't get back to the house until late, and at that point all I wanted to do was try to convince my brain that I didn't just see the horrible future of life.  I had nothing to give.

So I cuddled up with Sveta and tried to be as positive as possible, but we could both tell that I wasn't into it, and she went home.  I wanted to be into it, bad, but it just wasn't happening.  Not that I wasn't horny, just that I basically wanted her to get me off and then leave, which isn't a very nice thing to want.  She didn't leave in a huff, I didn't ask her to leave, and I would have been happy to just cuddle, sort of, but I think she was interested in something more and I wasn't putting out.  It was a bit of an odd role reversal.

I hope she's not hurt.  It's the first time something like this has happened to us, although I suppose it was inevitable.  I don't blame her for not wanting to be my personal sex toy, and I feel bad that she's not going to get any tonight, but I also feel bad that we couldn't just be together.  I admit, maybe our relationship has been premised on sex a bit too much recently.  Or always.  I don't know.

I do know that the next time I see her and I'm able, I am going to give her an orgasm that will make her ears wiggle.  She'll cum buckets.  Because she needed me, and I wasn't there.  The fact that I kind of needed her too... well, that's my fault.

So now I'm alone, unable to sleep, worrying, suffering from heat and what feels like dehydration even though I've had enough to drink, and thinking about what a putz I am (metaphorically speaking).  Sorry this isn't a sexier post, but that's life.  I'm not sad, I'm just really unhappy with life at the moment.

And you're all on notice: come November, I may go batshit insane and start writing manifestos about stealing government cheese.  I'll probably be working three jobs and writing a novel at the same time.  I'll see you all there!  Woo woo!  All aboard the crazy train!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Adventures With Mike

First off, I fell asleep at some point and woke up and had a bunch of new followers.  Seriously, a bunch of new people have showed up in a short span of time.  So welcome all you new people!  I am really approachable and I take constructive criticism happily.  You can comment, or email me, questions, comments, problems, bawdy jokes, suggestions, or just monetary tokens of your intense satisfaction.  No, wait, strike that last one.  I do not take money.  Or you can lurk.  I'm really okay with that too.  But don't be scared of me.  I only bite if asked.  If you're a bit confused regarding what I'm talking about, on the right I've created a page with the cast of characters ("Cast" in case that wasn't obvious) for consultation and catching-up purposes.  If I've left someone out, let me know.

Second, since nothing particularly interesting happened today, I thought I'd share some tales of Mike's life on the road which he shared with me.  I spoke briefly about his coed threesome in a past post, but there's more too.

As I said, he picked up two coeds, both short, blonde, and supposedly legal.  They were barely though.  Mike isn't one to ask for IDs, and since he was plying them with drinks, I'm sure they weren't in a hurry to give IDs.

Things started out innocently enough; he met them on the street while they were heading somewhere and he wasn't heading somewhere else, so he accompanied them on their way.  Mike is not afraid of hanging out with girls to get his funk on, so he sat there and talked with them while they got their nails done, then said, "Hey, you want to get a pizza?"

He thinks they were convinced that he was (a) much younger than he actually is and (b) with a friend who would make a foursome.  Nor do I imagine that they thought he meant, "Hey, you want to get a pizza delivered to my hotel room?"  But they went back to his room, discovered he was solo... and my brother is really lucky, because nine times out of ten they would have freaked out and left, but instead he landed two teens who were perfectly happy to take one drink and then start making out for his amusement.  I don't know, maybe they thought he was a porn producer.

The pizza got cold and Mike got lucky, once with each girl.  At least, if you count "getting lucky" as penetration and not simply getting lucky in the sense that he was lucky to be getting the both of them to do things to him.  He claimed his normal performance with both in quick succession, which in another man I'd view as bragging but Mike doesn't tend to brag overly much about his sexual prowess since he's pretty damn good at it.  Plus plenty of his oral ministrations, plus the girls were convinced to go down on one another, although Mike is of the opinion that they had never done that before, and it didn't last too long the first time.

Then they had another drink and ate cold pizza and Mike figured they would probably leave, but instead one of them sat back and watched a bit of TV while the other one came and snuggled briefly with him, then started sucking his cock like a pro, so obviously she had been with a guy before.  If Mike says she was good, she was good.  I'm not jealous of her, but she was probably quite good.  A short while later, he was behind her putting the wood to her hard, when her friend called from the couch, "Hey, put it in her ass."  So Mike put it in her ass, which made her moan so loudly he was a bit afraid someone would think she was dying.  But she took anal like it wasn't her first time with that either.

The odd gal out stopped watching TV and watched Mike's cock slip in and out of her friend's tight little butt, then she lay back, took another swig of booze, and let her friend eat her out much more enthusiastically than the first time.  Mike came (in a condom, he says) and pulled out and they just kept going at it, so he diddled the anal girl with his fingers until they both got off, and then all three of them just sort of curled up together in the bed and fell asleep.

Come the next morning, breakfast via room service was ordered by Mike while one of the nubiles was sitting down on his cock, and when it arrived, as mentioned previously, the other girl (the first one was still getting fucked) went buck naked and opened the door and got the food.  Mike didn't even notice, he only realized that the food had arrived when the other girl offered him a bite of something while he was still being ridden slowly.

Then they went and all showered together, which was a bit exciting because the shower wasn't large, but they managed it, and Mike managed another erection and another penetration, but didn't cum because he wasn't wearing a rubber in the shower.  Once they got out, without even toweling off, the girl who hadn't had anal wanted it, so Mike obliged, although he said that by the end, he was ready for them to leave.  He went back to sleep after they left, actually, poor guy.  No, what am I saying, not poor guy.  Lucky guy.

After that, I figured he would be out of action for a while, but that night he bagged what he described as a very tasty MILF (a term I don't care for, but he used it), a bit on the heavy side but not fat, just curvy, African-American, big breasts but still perky, a bit flabby in the ass but Mike sometimes likes that.  He met her in a bar; once she saw he was interested, she started stroking him under the table, and pretty soon he gulped down his drink and said, "Your place or mine?" or something similar.

Back to her place they went, actually, and he had her twice in the ass with no protection (and to that I said, "Mike, that means you've got to get a test, you know that.  I don't want Sveta getting anything."  Maybe I'm a bit overprotective, but it's not like he's not regularly tested).  He said she was incredible in the ass, but her pussy was so wide it wasn't even working for him, which is why all the anal.  But then Mike likes anal, so I imagine it wasn't much of a sacrifice.  The second time, he almost didn't make it; again, say what you want about Mike, but he's honest about his performance, and in this case he will admit that he wasn't doing so well, but since he was perfectly happy to eat her out for as long as she wanted before and after both times, I don't think she had much to complain about.

I would love to have been there for both, actually, but the addition of me into the mix (and if I came, Sveta would be there too) would probably have killed Mike.  He hasn't been that ambitious in a while, and he certainly admitted it took a bit of a toll on him, but it sounds like it was worth it.  Since then, he may have picked up someone, but it hasn't been important enough to talk about.  Maybe not.  Mike loves to fuck, but he's not completely indiscriminate, nor is he addicted to it as much as I am.  He can go weeks without an actual fuck.  Me, I'd go crazy.  He's perfectly fine with a wank in the shower... oh, wait, I remembered.

Mike has always had this wicked need to leave spunk in hotel rooms in unlikely places.  I think it's a bit unfair, but it turns me on anyway.  Obviously, I wish he wouldn't waste it on anything but me, but even when I've been in hotels with him he's wanted to do it, and I usually enjoy it when he does.  I feel bad afterward for the people who stay in the room after him, but in the moment I'm terrible right along with him.

He's done all sorts of crazy things.  Once he came into each of the lights on the wall, those glass-bowl-covered lights.  He just jerked off into each bowl.  He'll cum onto pillows, or he'll cum between the mattress and the box springs.  He'll cum on the chairs or couch cushions.  A few times he even came in the hallway outside the room, on walls or potted plants.  Once he even came into the ice machine.

I'm not condoning his actions at all.  I know it's horrible.  But I'm sure he's still up to his old tricks, so if you're in a hotel and there's cum in an odd place, it's probably his fault.

Okay, that's what's up with Mike.  Cheeky monkey.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Flash Fiction Friday -Trilogy

Untitled 3 by Samantha Wolov

Drifting

Tuesday night. He told her that every Wednesday morning when she begged, and every time Tuesday rolled around he would have something better to do. Sometimes she would lie awake for hours, hoping that he might consent to enter her bedroom, even just poke his head in to see her lying there, naked, waiting.

Tuesday night. The words became a mantra to her, pulling her through the drudgery of existence. She never stopped believing. This time, he would come. This time would be different.

And one Tuesday night, she gave up and pulled out her trusty vibrator, not waiting, for the first time. It soothed her, making her forget.  Her body was drifting, floating, crashing to earth as it was pulled away just as she was about to forget about everything. Her eyes snapped open, and he was standing there.

Tuesday night. Wednesday morning. She blinked and it was Friday, and the sheets were crumpled and drenched and she ached all over, and there he was beside her, telling her every night would be Tuesday night from now on.


Floating

When she cums, it's like a wave. No, a series of waves, one after the next, her body rising and falling, drifting, floating, crashing to earth, then soaring again. I wish I could protect her from the falls, but without them, she could never reach the heights.

Once I told her, jokingly, that I hoped she wouldn't hurt herself in those plummeting moments, those moments of free-fall where her body seems to hang in the air for a moment before dropping with a sickening speed. Or was I joking? Watching her is like riding a roller coaster.

She kissed me and said that she never feels the impact. Like a dreamer, she wakes before she hits. She is forever in flight, never striking the bottom. She is a bird, dropping slightly with each wing beat, and then the pleasure bears her up again.

Back arched as in pain, every muscle tense as steel cable, she is still smiling as each wave crashes through her.


Crashing to Earth

She lay back and let him work, eyes closed as instructed. At first there was a tingling, then a feathery sensation passed over her entire body. She shivered, partly from nerves, partly anticipation. He had never done this before.

Soon he seemed to have found whatever rhythm was necessary, and she was drifting, floating... crashing to earth with a bump and a yelp of pain. "Damn it!" she groaned, rubbing her head.

"Sorry darling, I really thought I had it this time." He was standing over her with a calibrator, checking the fields.

"You're sure I needed to be naked for this?"

"Absolutely. The magnets might affect your clothing differently."

"I bet you say that to all your beautiful lab assistants," she said, sitting up and wrapping her arms around him, giving him a kiss which he enthusiastically returned. And so progress on human levitation was set back by fifteen minutes of earnest physical research. Only fifteen minutes though; his new stamina-enhancing gadget wasn't quite ready for production.


The phrase seemed to suggest a trilogy, although they aren't connected by anything more than shared inspiration.  I'm not totally sure where the first one came from, because it doesn't seem to have that much to do with either the picture or the phrase, but it was inspired by both of them.  The second has some mild autobiographical influences.  The third has to do with my current choice of TV viewing.  I had thought about making it about a magic trick instead, but it came out this way.  Stick that artist's statement in your ceci-n'est-pas-une-pipe and smoke it.

Speaking of sticking things in other things, you could probably say that the theme of every Friday around here involves that concept, so why not stick Flash Fiction Friday in your queue of things with which to waste time.  Then stick your hot, image-inspired fiction in the Internet's tight little blogosphere and wiggle it around a little.  See what comes out.  There's some fierce competition (believe me, I'm intimidated weekly) but don't let that stop you.  Prove yourself.  Pop that cherry.  Shoot white-hot inspiration straight up into our browsers.  Knock our heads up.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Blogger Didn't Eat Today

Yesterday, the spirit was willing but the flesh was spongy and bruised.  Metaphorically speaking.  Thanks everyone for putting up with circumstances beyond my control; it was definitely one of those days, and Blogger was only the straw that made the camel think about early retirement from the weight-carrying game.  But the post I wrote wasn't actually all that great.  You didn't miss much, don't worry.  Yeah, like you were really worried.

I had some free time, as did Sveta, in the mid-section of the day, so we went to see Toy Story 3 in stunningly-scratchy 2D at the nearest cinema where such things could be experienced.  I spent a goodly portion of the movie bawling into her shoulder.  We were the only people there who were neither small children (who should never have been allowed to see this particular movie, Pixar or not) nor the caretakers of small children (nominally, in any case, because these so-called caretakers should never have brought their children to this movie).  It was a bit embarrassing to be the only person in the place sobbing.  I won't say that Sveta never teared up, but she was a convention of ancient Greek Stoics compared with me.

I love toys, and not in the creepy "middle-aged person who never grew out of childhood" way.  I knew why they needed to make this movie.  I knew exactly how Andy felt at the end.  And it made me cry a lot.  But the middle was hard for a whole different set of reasons, and it's the middle more than anything which made me have problems with children watching the film.  I won't go on, but it bugged me.

Then we were at the mall anyway, so we decided to kill two birds with one stone and go shopping.  I hate shopping for most things, I hate malls, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet.  I was feeling a bit claustrophobic by the time we made it to the store we were targeting, wishing I could be anywhere but in that mecca of commercialism gone horribly wrong.  It was the movie.  Normally, I don't get panicky in malls, I just sneer.

Sveta wanted to find undergarments, or rather she said that so I would feel better, because I do enjoy shopping for undies.  I was getting a bit overwhelmed by the prospect of clothes shopping, because I actually need to do it but don't have the money and so forth.  So she, like a peach, dragged me to the unmentionables section and calmed me down by showing me panties until the endorphins kicked in.

Unfortunately, when the pleasure center of my brain overrode the rest, I got a bit... racy, shall we say?  You can't try on undies, but you can pretend you've got other business in the dressing rooms and go there, and if your prospective partner is of the same gender persuasion, she can come with you, and you can both occupy one stall, and one thing can lead to another until you're not trying on clothes.

We'd never done anything like that before.  Actually, I've never made love with another woman in a dressing room.  A guy, yes, but not another gal.  It wasn't exactly slow and passionate; it was hot, heavy, and abbreviated.  We basically fetched up against a wall as quietly as possible, I had my hands down her shorts and she had hers down my pants and we kept our lips locked to keep from making any noise as we ground bodies together.  After a few minutes, she pulled her shorts and panties down completely and I got on my knees and ate her out as fiercely as I could, but I couldn't get her to cum, even though she was obviously enjoying it.  She eventually stopped me, pulled me up, gave me a kiss, and said, "Okay, I can't do this here."

I know exactly how she feels, actually, because at that moment all the other stuff came flooding back, and I couldn't do it there either, so we gathered ourselves together, left without buying anything, and practically ran out to the car and sat there for a minute or two just decompressing.

Sveta still has baggage associated with orgasms.  I know why, and I love her and I don't care, but I hope that we can keep working away at it until she is more comfortable.  Still, it's hard if you make a mess, and she is messy, too messy to deal with easily.  Believe me, that's a compliment, but it does make life more complicated in certain circumstances.

The great thing was that, as soon as we got home, even though she was supposed to leave right away, she made time for me to properly get her off, and when I did, employing all the tricks because I was afraid she might be bottling something up somehow, it was a real Sveta geyser.  I must have wound her up to the point where I'm lucky she didn't explode.

Then, after she returned the favor, she did have to go, finally, and I started crying again, and I sniffled my way through the rest of the afternoon.  Just one of those days.  I'm better now.

In summation, don't take your small children to see Toy Story 3, don't take me shopping, and don't waste your time trying to make it in the changing room when you could be rushing home immediately after the movie and getting in some quality time in a relaxed setting.  Kidding.  I don't know how I really feel about kids seeing the movie, I'm usually pretty good shopping, particularly for panties, and plan to take Sveta someplace non-mall-oriented as soon as possible to get her some, and I actually think I might try to work on some more exciting situations for our love life too, albeit perhaps with more preparation.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Blogger Ate Today

So I had a whole post, and then Blogger ate it.  Then it ate my list of blogs I follow.  Then it stopped working altogether for a while.  Hoo-freaking-ray.  I'm not one to write posts about Blogger, but I'm not sure I've got it in me to write another post today.  Which is why you get none.  Sorry.  Perhaps later.