Dress-Up

As you may have noticed from my rather sporadic posting schedule, I've been having a little trouble with my job taking over my life. I am decidedly not one of those people who smiles through everything, who always looks on the bright side, who gets lemons and makes lemonade. I can be downright cranky at times. Yes, sweet li'l me.

But for the sake of my sanity, when I'm not frantically searching for something else that I can do which will make some money and not drive me insane, I do try to think of the positive things about working in the theatre, aside from the fact that I can spell it that way and only be considered mildly pompous. So I've been trying to think of good things that have happened to me as a result of my job, and I landed on a golden one when I was working today.

I get to have sex in costume. It's depressing that I don't usually get to do that any more (although if this keeps up, I will consider it a fringe benefit and start taking advantage of the fact that I know where the costumes are stored). But there was a time when I had a lot of sex in very exciting costumes.

I'm not a costumer. I know, you think, woman in theatre, she must do costumes or makeup. I know a lot of people think that. They also assume that everyone in the theatre is gay (men) or loose (women). Not true. But I do get a lot of people, after they finally get it through their heads that I'm not an actress, thinking I must be a seamstress.

I can't sew. I mean, I can sew a patch on a pair of jeans, or sew something to something else, but patterns and stitches and all that, completely foreign to me. My mother can sew a bit, not a huge amount. Sheri could care less. Mari is a terrific seamstress, but I can never seem to get her interested in making me clothes. Especially not costumes for sex, which I will probably use once and then never use again. So when I was a little girl in particular. I got to play dress-up, but never with exactly the costumes I wanted.

I remember, when I was a bit older, really liking to wear formal gowns while being fucked. The problem was, my family wasn't made of money, so I only had one sort-of-formal-gown-type dress, and I would beg my sisters to let me use theirs, but it still got boring. Two or three dresses is more exciting than one, hiking up a long skirt and baring my ass, or letting Sheri or Mari slip up under my skirt and eat me out with just their legs sticking out the bottom. But in the end, the novelty of the thing is the most fun.

I've always been pretty thrifty with clothes, but I have this dark side which really just wants to buy dress-up clothes. Not for real life; I work in jeans and a t-shirt most days, and I have my blacks of course, and I have some nice clothes to wear for job interviews or on dates or what have you, but I don't have a fully-stocked closet by any means. But I long to have one, a magical closet like in fairy tales where I can ask it for an outfit and it will provide it, whatever I want. Especially for some sexy adventures.

And then I got into theatre, and I realized that, while I wasn't interested in coming up with costumes for other people, it was a golden opportunity for me to wear new things and fuck. When I was younger, when I first started, it was harder, but I did some acting, had to take some costumes home to clean them between shows, and my brother and I would have fun if the costumes were exciting. I remember I was in a Shakespeare play, a comedy, where I had this terrific peasant, off-the-shoulder blouse thing and a full skirt and a bodice, the whole bit. I took that one home a lot; I must have had the cleanest costume in the cast. I would put it on, have him help me lace up the back, and then we would play barwench and nobleman, or barwench and Viking, or other silliness.

His favorite thing about that outfit was that it made my tits look huge. A blouse like that always does. He would fondle them through the fabric for a while (of course, I couldn't wear a bra in that outfit; the straps would show) and then just pull down the neckline until it trapped my arms at my sides and he could feel my breasts without the blouse. Then he might sit me on his lap and reach up my skirts and feel me up, while bouncing me on his knee, making me giggle like a barwench should.

I came on his fingers every time. That was part of the reason I had to keep cleaning it; otherwise I would have just said I had cleaned it. But the underskirts were pretty juicy by the time we finished. Then he might stand me up, pull out his "lordliness," and haul up my skirts from behind and fuck me against a wall. Or he might bend me over the table. Once or twice we started out with me sitting in his lap, his cock sticking up and into me under the skirts. I could get into Renaissance sexual reenactments, I think.

Anyway, it was terrific to be able to occasionally sneak home a costume, but he wasn't in costume, and I was only able to do it when I was in a play with good costumes. And that's sort of the way it was until I went to college.

In college, on the other hand, my roomie was a costumer. I mean, she wasn't, really, but she worked in the costume shop, so she had access. And we could check out costumes for whatever we wanted. She had access to the industrial laundry machines too, so we never had to worry too much. I sometimes wonder if she got the job just so she could check out costumes more easily.

It wasn't unusual for students to check out costumes, sometimes even just to wear for Halloween or costume parties or what have you. But we would check them out all the time. I think the head of the shop thought we were film students or something like that. At first, we just checked out things for ourselves, and although there weren't any real lingerie-type things, there were costumes that were pretty racy. I remember we got out a pair of miniskirts so short that even I felt a little indecent wearing them. I don't know what it is about that; if I had been wearing nothing, I wouldn't have felt as naked. I think that's probably the point of too little clothing; it feels more revealing than nakedness.

But although I have no exciting clothes, I have exciting underwear, so we didn't really need that. We got out these African costumes once, I think they were supposed to be for men, and wore them with leopard print undies, and if we'd had a camera... well, maybe we did, and maybe I can find the pictures. I don't know. Back then, there was no digital for Lexi, so they'll be in a box somewhere. Anyway, we wore these things to a costume party and had no trouble finding a pair of guys to come back to our room with us. Mine was wearing a Lone Ranger cowboy outfit, and with just his chaps on and the mask, and me with only the leopard top on and a naked bottom underneath a very skimpy grass skirt, it was perfect. I cannot for the life of me remember what her guy was wearing; I think it came off pretty quickly. She came in after us, and I know our guys were both a little taken aback that we didn't mind that she barged in. But hell, my guy was balls-deep in me at that point, so I don't think he was going to run away.

Anyway, upshot of all this is that I realized that what's even more fun that wearing costumes in your own home is wearing them on a set. And since I'm there late at theaters, well, I have access to sets as well as costumes. I fucked in Greased Lightning (I hate that fucking play, but the sex was terrific) with a member of the chorus in one of those leather jackets. I wore a poodle skirt. I wish I'd had the time to figure out how to do a beehive, because that would have completed it. I fucked up against the wall of a "church" in a nun costume with a guy in a Catholic schoolboy's outfit. Neither of us were in the play; he wasn't even involved in theatre. But I had the costumes and the set, and I had him, and he said he was really into the idea. He went to Catholic school too, I guess. Who hasn't wanted to fuck a hot nun. And since the church thinks it's a sin, I let him fuck me without a condom. All part of that act. I'm not saying it was a good idea, but it was fun.

This is all to say that some of the clothes you might see in pictures of me aren't mine, and some of the places I'm seen aren't real. Which is a definite plus of being in a position of some responsibility in theatre. I've never done anything which would harm the sets or costumes, but they make for great sex toys. I haven't had exciting theatrical sex in a while. I bet I could still pull it off at my current job. Maybe even get Kate to join in. That would be hot. She's an actress; she probably would dig it.