Sleep and Sex

Got two questions which I need to answer. Sort of as a followup to a previous trivia.

"[H]ave you ever just lai[n] in the same bed with someone not wanting sex but for whatever reason it happened[?] [A]ny good stories when you were horny and had to wake someone[?]" - spacemountai

"Lain" is the present perfect tense of lie. Sorry, pet peeve. Moving on.

I can only think of one time when I went to bed not wanting sex (well, not more than usual) with someone with whom I'd never had sex before, but wound up fucking. Sure, I've fallen asleep next to people not expecting sex, only to later wind up fucking, but those were people where that wasn't odd. I've fallen asleep in Mike's bed and wound up fucking him, but that's sort of expected.

I went camping with a group of friends in I believe my Junior year of high school. Coed, which didn't phase my parents at all (they told me to pack condoms) but probably bugged other parents, if they knew. Maybe they didn't. We got a fifth of vodka from somewhere (I was not street smart, so I got all my booze and other illicit substances from friends, not suppliers, never had a fake ID or anything like that, quite naive in some respects) and went out with some tents and sleeping bags and the usual crap. I should stress that I was not looking for action. I was friends with all these people, not sexual friends.

There weren't enough tents for everyone, of course. Way too few, in fact. I was planning on sleeping out under the stars, which I'd done in the past. Tents smell and are stuffy; I'm not a fan. But after dark, the sky opened up, and we all wound up cramming into tents. I tried to get into the tent with all the other gals, but in the end there just wasn't enough space, so I crammed into this ridiculously small tent with a guy friend of mine. Never had any designs on him, wasn't planning any. Just wanted to get dry.

Well, we both had to take off wet things, and while I was shameless about it, he was shy about it in the extreme. It was awkward, not the awkward which leads to giggling and then sex, but just awkward. And my sleeping bag was drenched too, so we both had to try to wrap up in his as best we could. If we had been wearing more, or had planned it and had been in separate sleeping bags, it never would have been an issue. But I had on my only dry shirt and undies, and he was shivering in damp jeans.

But it wasn't sexy, it was just cold. We kind of cuddled together for warmth, but I was on the outside, so if he was feeling anxious, I had no way of knowing. Amazingly, the hiking and such put us both right to sleep (amazing because I'm really not much of an outdoor sleeper, and this wasn't the most comfortable position to be sleeping in). Honestly, I was just wishing I was with the girls. I was a little pissed.

I couldn't stay asleep though, and after a short while I woke up and we had somehow flipped and now he was behind me, unconsciously wrapping around me. And then he started shifting against me, kind of subtle, but the adolescent brain was working in his dreams, I'm sure. After a few moments, I just had to wake him up, because being sleep-humped isn't my idea of a good time, particularly by a guy in clammy jeans.

I didn't tell him why I had woken him up, but I think he knew anyway. He blushed beet-red. I told him there was no way I could sleep next to wet jeans, which was not the best way to phrase it, but I convinced him that I wasn't kidding. He didn't want to take his pants off, but I told him that I would take off my shirt, just to show him there was nothing to be nervous about. I must state again, not putting the moves on him. Wasn't looking for it.

Finally, he took his pants off, and he had a massive tent in his underwear, which were not the most mature-looking things anyway. I think he was about to die of embarrassment. I tried not to stare, mostly because staring made him think I wasn't staring at his big cock but rather at his silly underoos. I believe they were sky blue with white trim. Not the most masculine things in the world, I guess.

We tried to lie apart, or back to back, but that wasn't working. And it was impossible to spoon with me on the outside. And around this time, all the flesh and squirming wasn't doing my libido any harm, nor was the fact that I was no longer clammy and cold.

But amazingly, he was the one who made the first move. We had rolled to face one another, and he kissed me. I guess he was more interested in me than I was in him. I believe he had a girlfriend, but it certainly wasn't serious enough for her to come along on the trip. And I stopped wishing I was in the girls' tent.

After we'd established that things were going to proceed, things proceeded with a minimum of fuss. Our underwear was all somewhat damp too, so it actually felt good to get it off, and then we were able to get the sleeping bag properly around both of us and feel warm and kiss for a while. I was on top, because despite my height, he was taller and larger than I was and I didn't fancy getting crushed into the bumpy ground by his weight. Sometimes I'm selfish. He didn't seem to mind.

It was not the time or place for condoms (and I didn't use them anywhere near as often as I should have back then) so after we both warmed up, we just worked until his cock was inside me. Quite a good size for high school, made me wonder just what I'd missed by not fucking him sooner. We didn't fuck, really, just kind of moved a little, in and out. His pubes on my clit made me cum, just a small O, before he got frantic and grippy and came inside me. He was sorry about that until I told him to shut up.

The rain finally stopped, but there was no point trying to sleep outside, and honestly I did manage to catch a few winks sleeping on his chest. It was warm, and if not comfortable, at least dry and less hard than the ground. We didn't fuck again; he slept better than I did, damn him.

I later found out that I hadn't missed much in the girl's tent; more crowded and just as damp (well, damp in a bad way, not a good way). Nobody looked at us differently the next day; I don't know if anyone knew. People found out later, but not on the trip. Basically, we cut the thing short, all wanted to get home rather than hiking or nature walking or whatever. So we got back to the cars and went home.

I wish I could say that this somewhat romantic situation had a somewhat romantic ending. It didn't. It made my friendship with the guy a little weird, because neither of us really knew what to do. I mean, I would have fucked him again, since the ice had been broken, and maybe he would have too, but neither of us were ever in the same situation that had given rise to the original incident. And then college, and we lost touch completely. Too bad. Good story though.

With regard to waking people up because I'm horny, I love sleep too much to do it lightly. Mostly, it'll be waking people up when they need to get up anyway, only doing it sexy. I sometimes get insomnia and horny so bad that I just stay up all night, waiting until I can have Dad. Back in the day, I would sometimes wake up Mike, because he sometimes woke me up, but usually, I would either wake him up from half-asleep, or in the morning for school. I've given plenty of alarm clock blowjobs to Mike. It's better than what he used to do, sneaking into my room and cumming on my face while I was asleep.

No particular story stands out in this case though. It happens sometimes. The worst is sleeping with someone, not being able to sleep, and wanting to fuck again. I've woken people up a little if we were both in the same bed. Of course, Mike has me beat here too; if we were in the same bed (probably because we fell asleep fucking) and he woke up and wanted more, he'd just start without waking me up. He's not a ninja, couldn't get beyond putting it in most times, but once he did manage to get completely into me and lay on me kissing my lips until I woke up and let him keep going. Cheeky bugger, the Brits would say.

But that was when we were kids. Doesn't happen much any more, obviously. We've both grown out of it, although I bet if Mike was sleeping with me and wanted me, he'd wake me up by mounting me. I don't mind waking up like that, and Mike says sometimes I start out of sleep in a way which makes all my muscles tense up, which is probably fun for him.

I did once come in and find him asleep but hard as a rock, probably some teenage wet dream, and I sucked him off without him waking up, just slow and gentle. He came too, woke up in the middle of it. Now that's a way to wake up.

When I was very young, I used to goose my sisters awake sometimes, but just for fun, not as a prelude to anything else. It wasn't nice of me, so I stopped.

Oh, and now that I think of it, Sveta and I have both woken each other up by being too frisky. With her, she's actually trying to be more aggressive, which I applaud. With me, it's because I think she's beautiful when she's sleeping, and I like to stroke her hair, and sometimes that gets out of hand a little and I wind up stroking breasts and pussy and usually by then she wakes up. God, when she wakes up, she's adorable, which doesn't help me keep from waking her up. I try very hard to let her sleep.

Anyway, that's the short and skinny on that stuff. As always, questions are welcome via email on comments.

Impulse Control

Yeah, I have issues with that. We've been over them. I am not adventurous, just not good with temptation. I am easily swayed.

This isn't psychoanalysis though (you can't spell psychoanalysis without "psycho" and "anal," which I wish is what this story was about, but I am a bit psycho and I do enjoy anal). This is about the fact that I've been having no luck looking for jobs and have been worn out by that, so essentially I've been extremely willing. Dad has reaped some of the benefits of that, for sure. And since I've been keeping roughly the same hours he has, we can have a quickie in the morning and then a longie when he gets home from work.

But that's the basics. Kate asked me over and I said yes. I had been thinking of looking Perry up, seeing if he was available at all what with his teaching schedule. Maybe meeting him at school for lunch. Not really; I don't have the guts for that, but it would be really sexy to wear my old uniform and fuck him in my old school. This isn't about fantasy though.

Kate and Roger were planning on having one last barbecue before the winter, but it rained, so we stayed in. Which was fine, because I don't know that we would have gotten any time to barbecue anyway. Basically, I went over there, the three of us went into the bedroom, and Roger watched while I tried out a little anal play on Kate. Her buttocks are as tight as the rest of her, even a little bony when she bends over, and her anus is very musky, so I didn't do any analingus because I'm not that turned on by musk. But I did use some fingers and some toys. I don't know why, other than that I was hurting for anal.

Roger enjoyed that, asked me if I'd help him fuck her, so we lubed him up and then I got to watch as he fucked Kate in the ass. Not what I had hoped for, but still sexy. Her anal ring would have crushed a large cock; he's lucky, in this case, that he's small.

I don't know if she enjoyed it a lot, but she liked when I started licking her cunt underneath, and he liked it when I made her cum on his cock. He came in her ass (I wish it had been in my ass, but what are you gonna do) and then they went to clean up a little (all right, I hinted that they should, because they didn't seem to be in a hurry to do so, and I wasn't going to touch either of them until they did).

Amazingly, Roger wanted to fuck me after, which isn't usual for him but maybe it was the excitement of it. He didn't go for my ass and my tongue was too busy licking cunt, so I wasn't able to tell him different. Whatever. Kate was licking my clit while her husband fucked me, and it was enjoyable enough that I came before he pulled out and splashed his wife's face.

Then they wanted to smoke. I wasn't feeling it, but I took one drag for social purposes. Kate and I kind of made out a little, but Roger seemed finished for the moment. So we pulled clothes back on and it was late enough that we just looked at the rain and said the hell with it, ordered a pizza, and ate it, the whole family and me, around the table. Again, no sign of anything odd from the boys. Liam was ogling me a little, even.

Roger whispered something to Kate, and she grinned and shooed the boys back to their rooms, then we went back to the bedroom and I basically got to watch while Roger fucked Kate. They did let me clean up, which was fine, and Kate gave me a decent orgasm, but by that point it was bedtime for me, and Kate went to tuck the boys in while I went to the couch and basically collapsed on it. I hadn't really been planning on spending the night, but I didn't feel like going anywhere, maybe catching some sleep and then going home early.

But I woke up at some ungodly hour when Roger came into the living room and was getting a glass of water. I was just suddenly wide awake; it happens to me sometimes. I asked him if he was interested in some early morning fun, and he put down his glass, seemed to think about it for a moment, then said we should let Kate sleep, but the two of us could definitely do something.

We wound up fucking on the floor of the living room. We tried to be quiet about it, and I tried to get him to cum inside me at least, but he pulled out like always. Then he went back to bed, and I watched TV because they have a better TV than I do, with cable and such.

At a certain point, I think I fell back asleep, because I woke up lying on the couch, with various parts of my anatomy showing to all the world, and Kevin and Liam were both sitting there watching TV with the sound on low. Kevin was watching TV, and Liam was pretending to watch TV, but seemed to be really watching me.

I covered up as best I could, and eventually Kate and Roger came out. Kate started to scold the kids for waking me, but I told them it was fine, I didn't mind. And then somehow, I'm still not totally sure how, I wound up agreeing to babysit them for a few hours. I'm not so good when I'm just getting up. I think I agreed, or maybe I brought it up. I was feeling a bit fuzzy. I guess Roger and Kate had to go out for a bit, run errands or something, and I was there and available. It wasn't like I had anything better to do.

Probably should have said I did have better things to do, but I'm a sucker. So I figured, okay, we'll watch TV. No problem. I'll make sure the house doesn't burn down. I had siblings. I may have been the youngest girl, but Mike was younger. I babysat when I was a teenager. I can do it.

Kevin got up and went to do something in his room, and Liam and I sort of sat there, me wondering why he wasn't getting up, him looking nervous. "Liam, you want to watch something?" I asked him.

He shook his head. He wasn't looking at me.

"Okay," I said. I wasn't sure what was okay for them to watch, so I put on something inoffensive and we sat there. I was pretty bored, now that I was awake. I tried to start up a conversation. Nothing. I got up to check on Kevin, and the second I was out of sight, I hear footsteps to the bathroom.

I am not so stupid as perhaps I might seem sometimes. I am perhaps even enhancing my own stupidity in this tale in order to let you, the readers, feel smart for figuring it out, or to pump up the suspense. Because how interesting would it be for me to say, "He was being awkward because he had a raging erection." Not coming to it organically. But even I, dumb as I am making myself, knew what was going on. Liam had gone to the bathroom to jerk off.

As I said at the top, temptation is not my friend. And my idle hands are definitely the devil's playthings. I am not a child molester. I didn't do anything. But it got me a bit tingly to know that Liam was beating one out because he'd seen me naked, just like last time. I knocked on the door. "You okay?"

Silence. Duh. Again, in my house, I may have grown up not being ashamed of it, but I know differently now.

"Feeling sick?" I really don't know why I was tormenting him.

"No."

"Okay, well, I'm in the living room if you need me." I bet he needed me really bad at that point.

But I'll be damned if he didn't show up in the living room after a few minutes. I guess he couldn't get enough. I was in a philosophical mood. "So, Liam, got a girlfriend?" He shook his head. "Got a girl you'd like to see?"

A pause. Obviously, he wanted to see me, as in naked. I am really a bad person. "There a girls I like."

"Well, I bet there are girls who like you back," I said. Trying not to be a total bitch. Trying to help rather than hurt.

"Yeah." It wasn't a question, didn't sound too positive either.

"Well, I'm sure I'd like you if I got to know you." I wasn't trying to pick him up. Just to start a conversation, try to break the ice, the weird vibe. Plus, I did want to know just how much he knew about me. "Tell me about yourself."

I got some details which I won't go into here, nothing interesting. I asked him about his parents, his school, that kind of thing. Got nothing from him. And after a few minutes, it was obvious that he was hard again and really didn't know how he was going to survive without exploding. He was sitting in that odd way someone sits when they're afraid that, if they move too much or put too much pressure on anything, they might pee themselves or cum or something unexpected.

So I was kind and went to check on Kevin again, and sure enough, back to the bathroom went Liam. I started wondering whether he'd come down early, seen me lying on the couch naked again, and rubbed one out right there like the last time.

It got me so frisky that when Kate and Roger got back, I gave them a goodbye fuck before I went home, and then caught Dad and had him rail me until I was gasping for breath. And it still tickles me. I am not attracted to Liam, I'm attracted to the idea. I would be happy to get naked, let him jack off looking at me, even do more. I shouldn't, and I probably won't, but the idea of him getting hard just looking at me is incredibly arousing. So when I say that knowing that people read my stuff and get off makes me cum, it's true. I do have something of an exhibitionist streak, if I could only get over my nervousness and shyness. Really, I'm the shyest actor I know. I think I can only get out of my shell in certain circumstances. This blog being one of them.

If you were hoping for a bigger loss of control, I'm sorry. But that's what went down. And I still don't have an answer about him or the family and what exactly is going on and why they don't seem surprised by me. If I weren't a wuss, maybe I could just ask Kate and Roger. What's the worst that could happen, right?

TMI Filler

1. Have you ever shared sleeping accommodations with someone of the (Opposite sex for breeders, same sex for homosexuals) without anything steamy happening?.

Sure. One does what one has to do when one is young and poor. I don't like to share a bed with anyone, really, but I've done it. Nowadays, I tend to find some other sleeping accomodation if I'm forced to share. Like a chair. Or a couch. Or cushions on the floor. Of course, I prefer to sleep with someone if something steamy's going to happen, and I've made steamy things happen when I didn't intend them to happen because I was sharing sleeping arrangements with someone, but it doesn't always work out. I don't fuck in my sleep or anything; my bed-mate is perfectly safe from assault, although I'm told I steal covers and push people out of bed at times.

2. Have you eve streaked, flashed, or otherwise partially or totally exposed yourself in public before (or after) an informal, unofficial gathering of people?

Yes. I'm pretty sure I answered this question before.

3. Have you had dates with multiple people in the same weekend (or consecutive nights or the same night) while not all of your dates were aware of your actions?

Oy, sadly, yes. It's not because I cheat on people; they may know I'm not exclusive, they just don't necessarily know who else is involved or that it's taking place so shortly thereafter.

4. What is the most "romantic" you have ever gotten in a movie theater?

I don't enjoy giving handjobs, but I've given them in theaters. Giving a blowjob is a much harder thing to pull off, but I've done it a few times. Mike and I even did that once in an almost-deserted matinee (for a kiddy movie no less). We were very naughty. But it was air conditioned, there was nowhere else to go, and we wanted to try it.

5. Have you ever had sex when you knew a non-participating adult was watching?

Yes. Far too many times to count.

Bonus (as in optional): If you could say anything you wanted anonymously to anyone, without identifying that person, what would you say?

I don't think I want to say something anonymous. There are things I'd like to have the balls to say to people, but I don't, but if I said it anonymously, those things wouldn't work. Like if I were to tell Sveta, anonymously, about my family, well, that would be the same as telling her non-anonymously, wouldn't it? Or other things... like there are people I wish I could tell certain things, but not coming from me, it wouldn't matter. I don't get a lot of mileage out of anonymous telling-off. I'd like to do things to a few people anonymously, but saying something... meh.

Update

Now is a very bad time to consider changing careers. Just in case you were wondering.

That's really all. I'm serious. That's it. Nothing else.

Porn of the Day

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Weekend Update

I put trivia posts in the pipe, schedule them to show up every so often just in case. Which is why the last post was one of those, not a report on Sveta's visit.

I could have reported on Sunday, since she left in the afternoon, but I was tired and bummed out at her having to leave. Then, Monday, I got sick, or at least got run over by something which makes me feel sick even if I'm not. I don't have a fever or a cold or anything, I just feel incredibly run down, achy, that kind of thing. If it gets worse, I'll suspect swine flu. For now, I'm in a holding pattern above the Well International Airport, my body desperately trying to get an air traffic controller to give me clearance to Runway 5. If I'm rerouted to some other state, say Sick Regional, or a crash landing in the Swine Flu Mountains, I'll be forced to eat other passengers to stay alive. Wow, that metaphor got away from me, didn't it?

Anyway, the report goes as follows: I picked Sveta up at 8 because there were delays, so we went to a fast food place and then went home. She was bushed, so we just got in bed and cuddled until she fell asleep, and then I got up because hey, I'm an insomniac. I spent a certain amount of time getting all doe-eyed watching her sleep, then I finally made it to sleep as well.

In the morning there was wake-up sex, which was the only reason I woke up, not having slept for more than a few hours at that point. It was slow and drowsy and she was much more into it than I was, which meant that I came and she didn't (no good, that). No oral, just fingers and kissing. I sort of fell back asleep after I came (God, I'm turning into a man) and she let me sleep, did some homework.

When I woke up that's what she was doing, it was afternoon, and she hadn't even ventured out for breakfast. I told her my family would keep out of her way, but I guess it was too much to ask her to go forage in my kitchen. We went and foraged together, then we took a shower together which got a bit heated, but didn't wind up making love until we both got out and went back to the bed. I made up for my earlier lack of enthusiasm, ate her out until she was begging for mercy. Her juices are so tasty, nectar from the gods. I always feel invigorated making her cum.

I let her do some more work and got working on dinner. My parents took the opportunity to be out all day and then went out to eat (which they can mercifully afford to do again every so often) so we had the house to ourselves. Had dinner, talked about school (she likes it, seems to be doing well, although it's early yet), boys (she notices them but has no time for anything else), other girls (she has a friend of a totally non-sexual nature, which is good too), and social life in general (she has no time for that right now, an attitude to be commended).

We sat on the couch and talked some more. She really was interested in talking, and she had a lot to say. I wouldn't have put up with quite so much gushing from someone else, but she's my sweetie and is going through a big time in her life, plus she manages to make it interesting. We did get around to talking about family, about how hers isn't particularly supportive, and though I didn't pry I continue to pile up evidence on her family. She wanted to know about me as a freshman, so I told her some freshman tales. The college I went to and the one she's going to are very different institutions though, so there's not as much carry-over, and I didn't want to tell her too much social life stuff just because it didn't seem fair.

Freshman year was easy as pie. I know a lot of people have a tough time their first year, but I took obscene numbers of credit-hours and didn't break a sweat, had plenty of time for fun. It's not fair to say that to someone who's really working at it. I'm not saying that I was brilliant; I don't know how it happened. Things got progressively harder as I went through college, which I guess is what's supposed to happen. I hit bumps late, rather than early. I'm backward.

Anyway, there was talk of my family, and I told her that if she wasn't getting support from her family, my parents both were ready to substitute. Which is true; Mom and Dad love Sveta, and I'm sure they'd be happy to support her the way her family obviously can't or won't.

I said that she could be like my sister, and she giggled and said that sisters didn't usually do the things we'd done. I didn't think and just said, "Hey, you've never met my sisters." I'm probably being paranoid thinking she took that to be more than a joke. She said she'd like to meet them, my brother too, and I said they'd heard about her, only good things.

She can't meet Sheri, of course, not unless I tell her pretty much everything, because Sheri will tell Sveta. She's not good at keeping secrets, and she'll think it's a good idea. Or she'll just start making out with me in front of Sveta. But Sveta could meet Mari, if we ever see her again, or Mike, if we ever see him again (can you tell I miss them all?).

Anyway, talking about things sisters don't normally do led to playfully kissing, and pretty soon we were calling each other "Sis" and making out on the couch. I had her pants down and my hand in her panties when my dad came through the door, which was a little awkward, but he just grinned and said he was sneaking through, "Don't mind me."

Remarkably, Sveta didn't really seem to mind that much. I mean, she stopped what she was doing when he came in, but she didn't let me apologize or try to explain. We did decide, after a few more minutes of kissing, that perhaps this would be best continued upstairs, so we went back to my room and made love again, a longer session, an hour or so, complete with two orgasms for Sveta, three for me, toys, and the double dil. Oh, and a butt plug for Sveta, because she said she hadn't done anything with her ass in too long.

Then we cuddled, she fell asleep, and I stalked around the house for a while because I really wanted to be able to get to sleep so I wouldn't have to just wake up and drop Sveta off. In the end, I wound up staying up all night, which was probably not the greatest choice but I couldn't get to sleep until Sveta woke up again. We had a quick fuck in the shower, nothing fancy, then she had more work to do and I was flagging, so I gave her a shoulder massage while she worked and then got the hell out before I was too distracting. Took a walk around the block, tried to think straight, wound up drinking too much coffee.

Came back and we had lunch with Mom and Dad, who wanted to hear everything (like I said, they can be supportive even if not asked) so I got to hear a lot of stuff twice, and I was pretty much out of my brain at that point. Helped Sveta get her stuff together, forgot that we had wanted to go shopping for some things for her room, so that will have to wait until next time. She may have more money than I do right now, which is depressing.

Dropped her back off, gave her a good long kiss goodbye, but it wasn't sexual at all (I mean, it was, but it wasn't like I was trying to sex her up, just because I really wanted to kiss her for all the time I wouldn't be able to) and then went back home and crashed. But I didn't sleep because of the caffeine, not right away; rather I went home and was a zombie. I asked Dad to fuck me, but I must have been like a Real Doll without the vibrating action. Sometimes when I'm tired and don't really want to think about things, I enjoy good cold-fish sex. I kind of let Dad (or whoever) bend me over something and just fuck me while I zone out and enjoy orgasms on a detached level. Okay, it's a little odd.

I was hoping also that getting fucked nice and firmly would put me to sleep after, because all I really wanted was to collapse. But instead, I stayed up. I think it's fairly obvious why I'm all run down now, isn't it?

Anyway, progress has been made, little by little, in the Sveta-openness front, I suppose, and that's a good thing (or maybe a really horrible thing, but the only way to find out is to find out). I got to see her, not as much as I'd like, but I did get to see her. We talked, she's doing well, and she's not in danger of leaving me for someone else, which the selfish part of me thinks is terrific. The selfish part of me wants her all to myself. But the rest of me thinks that, as soon as she gets settled, she should start maybe seeing what else is out there, given that she's in college. I would like to say that I'm confident that she'll experiment but ultimately stick with me too. I'd like to say that. But in any case, it's not fair that I have multiple partners and she doesn't, particularly since she's in a place where there are lots of cute guys and gals.

So anyway, I'm still not sleeping well and I'm exhausted and I still need to find a job. That's the downside of this particular situation, the cloud to this particular silver lining, the rain to this particular parade. Sometimes I think I'd like to get a job involving sex, but then I wonder if it wouldn't kill the fun of sex for me, or whether I could do it. I'm just a barrel of insecurities right now, ain't I? Being out of work does that to me.

TMI Filler

Got it straight from the source this time (although I did go to Kara and Jessica's blog because I couldn't remember the address of TMI). Yes, it's not up-to-date. I answer these as I feel like it, not when they're created necessarily. I really don't want this blog to turn into nothing but a series of silly quizzes.

1) If you were to only live until the age of 50, how would you live your life differently?

I might waste less time. And that might mean that I had less sex. I might decide that I had to do my best to improve the world, or do my best to fulfill some goal, or something like that, and so I might prioritize better. Hell, I might do those things anyway. I try.

On the other hand, I might decide that I had to pack in as much sex as possible, and decide that and a few other things were what really matters. Sic transit gloria mundi, after all. And honestly, living to be 50 means I wouldn't have to worry about the years when the flesh might be willing but the body weak. I could see an upside to it. Not that I hate old people or anything, but burning out rather than fading away does have its appeals.

Or I might get depressed and do stupid things with the remainder of my time. Hell, that's the reaction my mortality [EDIT: the original here was "morality" which is a Freudian slip if there ever was one] often inspires in me, and just because I don't know the exact date of my death doesn't really matter.

2) Are you settling in your job/career?

Probably. I'm not particularly ambitious, and I don't want to be. I'd like to improve myself, make enough money to live, find my niche, and do some good. Beyond that, while fame and fortune are certainly wonderful things to dream about, I don't care too much if they happen. Happy is more important than "successful" in my book. But I am trying to break out of my current "settling" into what will probably be a new "settling" later on, but one which is more conducive to the previous.

3) Are you settling with your significant other?

Absolutely not... okay, I'm almost positive not. I do settle for some things, like meaningless sex, but as far as Sveta is concerned (and she's the closest thing I've got to a sig-O at the moment) I think she might be settling with me, not the other way around. I constantly feel like I don't deserve her, so I can't say that I think I'm settling if that's how I view her compared with me. I guess I could be incredibly picky and decide to trade up or something, but why would I want to do that? She's terrific, and she improves as we go down the pike, which is something you can't say about all sig-Os.

4) How important is your family?

Incredibly. Blood is most definitely thicker than water. They matter more to me than almost anything in the world. I am not being hyperbolic here. If Sveta learns about me and my family and she tells me that it's either them or her, I'll leave her. It's part of the reason it's hard for me to have a really serious relationship: I can't be with someone who doesn't accept my family. I'm almost positive that anyone with whom I'm serious enough will have to have sex with one or more members of my family. They're hard people to refuse, and anyone with whom I was that serious wouldn't want to refuse them. I have high standards in this regard.

5) If you caught a neighbor peeping in at you while you were naked or having sex, would you close the blinds? (assuming you live in a city and can see into other buildings).

This is a tricky one. If it was me and someone random fucking, I'd get off on them watching. I don't mind if people watch, really. Sometimes I get shy, but most times, if they keep to themselves in the next building over or whatever, I'm fine with it. On the other hand, if it's me and someone where we'd get in trouble (not just family but other circumstances as well, say Sveta for instance) I wouldn't want people watching because I don't want trouble.

If it's just me naked, hell, let them watch. I wander around the house and back yard naked all the time. I'm sitting at the computer right now, naked and playing with myself a little, with the window open for all to see. I don't go out of my way to be exposed, but I also don't really hide it. I'm not exhibitionist, per se, but I don't mind an audience.

More Sheri and Me

While I'm waiting for this evening and Sveta, I had a request from spacemountai to give a longer description of the time Sheri and I doubled up on a guy from the neighborhood, so I thought I'd share with everyone.

We'll call him Jeff, because I don't honestly remember his name, nor would I tell you if I did. I protect the innocent and the guilty 'round these parts. Anyway, he was a hair older than I was, maybe a few months, in the next grade. But he wasn't in our school, so we just used to see him in the neighborhood. He had a car before I did, he was an only child and his parents had more money, he threw parties that we couldn't, basically, something of a BMOC (Big Man in the Neighborhood, rather). Got around through the girls of the neighborhood too. I guess it was sort of a rite of passage for all of us girls to do him at least once.

Sheri got around to him way before I did (she did most things before I did) and I'd sort of forgotten about it by the time I attracted his attention. Jeff and I were both up-front about what was going on; I wasn't looking to date him, he wasn't looking to be dated, we both wanted to have a good time, and by this point he was used to getting around with little to no introduction. I mean, we knew each other, and he was attracted to me, and I was perfectly happy to fuck him.

Amusingly, we wound up at my house because his parents were home that day. The whole thing never would have happened normally, because in this case I was looking to go to his house and take advantage of his terrific house, the pool, the bar, all those fun things that money and inattentive parents will get you. But just my luck, no dice, they were home. And unlike my parents, they weren't permissive, they just didn't pay any attention. Yeah, good parenting there. I'm not saying my parents knew exactly what I was up to (obviously, they weren't into me drinking or doing various other things) but though I went through a rebellious phase of sorts, I didn't have to rebel that much.

Anyway, yeah, odds were against me, so I had to bring him back to my house because I wasn't going to wait. I was dripping wet after nervously propositioning him and I wasn't about to let him go with a rain check. So we walked back to my house, I let him in the basement door (after checking to make sure it wasn't occupied already), and pulled my shirt over my head before we'd even gotten through the door.

He pulled his pants off (why is that the player's first move, I ask you... well, I suppose the reasons are obvious) and sat on the couch and let me pull out his cock, which was hard and decently-sized, and suck him until he came down my throat (even back then, I could deepthroat like a champ). I like a guy who enjoys a warm-up cum, because it usually means that he's good for a few more at least.

After the preliminaries were over, we both got up and pulled off clothes. I was down to my bra and panties when Sheri came through the door. Honestly, thinking back on it, I can't say that I think she genuinely just came in randomly. I bet she came down, saw what was going on, and decided to crash the party. But she knew Jeff would be game. I was the most embarrassed one; he just smiled and asked her how she was.

Sheri, being more forward than most, was straight to the point, just pulled off her shirt and asked if he'd like both of us. I wasn't diving for something to cover me or anything, but I was blushing and couldn't really believe that she was doing this. But Jeff just said he was fine with that, and Sheri tossed her shirt away, came over, and kissed him.

There was an aspect of competition between me and Sheri at that point, and I felt like she was muscling in on my territory, so I pulled off my bra and grabbed Jeff's hand and had him squeezing my breasts before Sheri could monopolize him. Sheri moved down to suck his cock, so I went and kissed him, hard, pressing against him (and sort of getting in Sheri's way as much as possible) while his hand moved lower and slipped down into my panties until I had to get out of them. He was a teen, plenty of stamina but not a tremendous finesse, but still, the stamina counted for a lot at that point. Sheri got a load on her tongue too, and he was still perfectly ready to fuck both of us.

I got on my knees leaning over the couch and looked back at him winningly, and since I was ready and Sheri still had clothes on, I got first go. For a few minutes, he just felt me up with his fingers in my cunt, not making me cum but keeping the level of excitement high. Eventually, Sheri bowed to the inevitable and let him fuck me first, even stroking him up to hardness and then helping him aim at me. She spanked my ass a little as he pressed in, just playfully, but although I could totally have dealt with her getting down and licking my clit while I got fucked, I think that might have raised some questions. Jeff was ready to accept that we weren't shy around one another, but probably not that we fucked.

He was kind of rough, but I was so horny by that point (nerves, stress, competition, and having to wait for it were main factors there) that I came twice before he grunted and came inside me without even asking. But I didn't mind; I was on the pill and loved cum inside me.

He pulled out and I heard him asking Sheri if she wanted to taste her sister on his cock. Maybe he knew more than we thought, or maybe he was just being ballsy. Whatever. She, of course, was happy to clean him off, and by that point she was naked. She said she wanted to ride him, not like last time, and it was then that I remembered that she'd fucked him before. When she fucked him, it must have been early in his career too, before he was quite the party-throwing rite of conquest. She told me later that he'd been sort of nervous at the time, which I guess may have had something to do with her fearlessness in joining in.

Anyway, she laid him down on the carpet and then, without so much as a peep, sat on his face. I don't know how he felt about that, but with her pressing her cunt on his lips and me sucking on his cock, I guess he couldn't say no. She told me he was obviously not as experienced in that regard as he might like to believe. But still, she got her jollies out of it and his cock came back to life, and then she straddled it and eased herself down on him, rocking her ass back on him, spearing herself with his upthrust cock. I sneaked a goose at her asshole because he couldn't see, and she yelped and gave me a look. So I confined myself to milking his balls, occasionally "accidentally" stroking her buttocks as well.

He didn't last long under that onslaught, and of course Sheri was perfectly happy to get a load deep inside her (unlike me, I'm pretty sure she wasn't on the pill at this point, but as I've said, she's probably never going to have to worry about kids).

Jeff let me clean off his cock, then he sat up and grinned and said that we were always welcome to come over when his parents were out of town. I guess that was his "payment." Not the greatest guy in the world, but whatever. I took him up on that invitation several times, once even with another guy who I wound up fucking in Jeff's house instead of fucking Jeff, which I assume he expected. Still, he got plenty out of the relationship. For one, Sheri and I were great together, and for another, I fucked him on two more occasions at least, both at his house in exchange for drinks and pool privileges. I'm making myself out to be a whore, aren't I? Quid pro quo, nothing more. Plus it's not like I didn't want to fuck him. The times I recall, I got one in my mouth and three in my cunt as a matter of course, which I can't say about all the guys I've been with. I don't remember any anal, but there might have been some. I may not have gone for anal with him because he was kind of rough, as I said.

He got up, got dressed, and left, and as I said, after that Sheri and I had definitely not cum anywhere near enough, so we 69ed to get out all the cum from our respective holes, then kept going until we each had several orgasms before pulling on whatever clothes we felt like putting on and going about our businesses.

Not the only time I've teamed up with Sheri, but a time I remember. Of course, I would have preferred if we could have actually teamed up, rather than just sharing the guy. And I would have liked another cock too. And while I'm wishing, I'd like a pony.

Plans Which Shall Not Go Awry

Sveta's coming to stay with me for the weekend.

If you can't sense the anticipation wafting from that sentence, then you need to check your sensors. Yes, I know, she'll only be here for two nights, has to go back on Sunday fairly early and will only arrive on Friday fairly late. Yes, I know she's got to spend most of her time studying and doing work. And I will try my damnedest not to distract her from that, because it's far more important that she get good grades than that I get off.

She's not telling her parents at all. I told her it was her choice. One of these days, she'll open up to me about her family. On the other hand, I'm certainly one to talk about that kind of thing, aren't I? Whatever, I don't care.

I told my parents that she's coming, that they don't need to do anything, but if they could arrange to be scarce, I'd appreciate it. Not that I mind having them around, it's just... you know. God, I'm like a fucking teenager again.

It actually reminds me of the legion of lovers I've had over to the house. Not anywhere near as many since I graduated high school, but in the time since I was popped through the end of Senior year, my house wasn't party-central because my parents were definitely not down with that, but my house was the best place for people to go for illicit rendezvous (which may be the correct plural but still looks wrong).

Sheri brought over a few, but she was always going elsewhere with people, usually old enough that they had an elsewhere to go to. Me, I fished in my own pond, mostly. Not that I didn't have any older lovers, but I had quite a few from my school and from my age group. And since my parents were a-okay with me having sex as long as I was safe (well, safer than I would have been doing it in a back alley, I guess, although I wasn't that safe) I didn't even have to sneak people in. I would just invite a guy (or the occasional gal, although my bisexuality has really blossomed since I've gotten older, I guess because teenagers, by-and-large, aren't as open to that sort of thing, particularly in Catholic school) over, we'd go in the basement door, and we could fuck right there.

I do remember once I was bringing a guy home and I went through the door and saw Mike and Sheri fucking, so I had to really quickly turn around, shut the door, and make up some story. That would have been awkward in multiple ways. But I took him to the back door, told him to wait while I "checked to see if my parents were home" and then "sneaked him in" while my mom stayed out of the way. Fortunately, there was no one upstairs, and so he and I got to fuck on my bed, a novel experience for my teen years. It was worth the hassle, as I recall; he came like a fire hose and had a five minute recovery period.

And one time I was in the basement with a guy from the neighborhood when Sheri came in and asked if she could join. Seems she'd already had him before I got around to him, and he was, of course, perfectly fine with the idea of being tag-teamed by two sisters. We kept our interactions to a minimum, so he only thought we were just huge sluts, not kissing-sisters. After he left though, Sheri and I went to town cleaning out the cum from each other's pussies.

Wow, this went afield, didn't it? Whatever. I'm just really psyched to see Sveta. I am, of course, looking forward to making love with her, but it's more than that. I've missed holding her, feeling her next to me. I could be satisfied with just that... well, no I couldn't because I'm horny as hell, but I could be mostly satisfied to just see her and hold her.

Something's got to give with this relationship. I"m kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. But that's my natural doom instinct.

TMI Filler

From TMI via Kara and Jess.

1. If you could have monumental sex where would it be (i.e. on Lincoln's lap, the stairwell of the Statue of Liberty)?

It's not really a momument per se, but I'd like to fuck on stage at the Globe Theatre. Not necessarily with an audience, just to have done it.

2. Have you ever "played" with your food (i.e. a blowjob under booth #9 at Denny's, finger banging by candlelight at Spago)?

Yes. Mike and I used to do a lot of that because we both ate faster than the grown-ups. Since then, not so much, but largely because I'm less of a risk-taker when I'm in control of the situation.

3. Have you ever had sex in motion (i.e. the lavatory on Virgin Air, the back seat of your Chevy Suburban)?

Never on a plane. On a boat once, which wasn't really moving fast enough to qualify as motion. In cars that have been moving many times. The back seat of the family car has a lot of stains.

4. Have you ever had sex worthy of a confessional (i.e. a stall in the church bathroom, on the desk in your boss's office)?

Had sex in a church once. Since I went to Catholic school, how could I resist. It wasn't with a priest or anything; I'm not that evil. Just naughty. It wasn't in the pews either, it was in the back rooms.

I was part of a Christmas Pageant-type thing, and there was a cute guy in it too, and we both showed up to a rehearsal early and both went to get a drink of water and both wound up in the closet with the choir robes. The floor was hard on my knees, but the easiest thing seemed to be to get on all fours and have him push up my skirt (yes, I did wear that uniform) and pull down my panties and fuck me, which he did with a modest amount of aplombe. We were trying to be quiet about it, so it was a little inhibited, but he managed to warn me in enough time to dispose of the evidence orally, so to speak, rather than having it all over me. And I came once too, which isn't stellar for me, but since it was cumming from being fucked, it worked. Then we went back and did the rehearsal. I would have been perfectly happy to fuck again, but it just never happened.

Beyond that, what do you want? I've never fucked in a pew or in a confessional, so that's as close as I get.

5. Have you ever had sex under the stars (i.e. in the alley behind Scores Gentleman's Club, the roof of your South Beach condo)?

Lots of times. If it weren't for the mosquitos, I'd do it in the backyard all the time.

Bonus: What's your favorite place (of all places) to have sex (i.e. The Bunny Ranch, Las Vegas)?

Is this a fantasy or a recollection (because how many people have had sex at the Bunny Ranch)? In terms of fantasy, that changes all the time. In terms of places where I actually have had sex, the big bed in the master bedroom has all my sentimental reasons, plus it's very comfy. This is really an odd question, because it seems to be asking one thing and then the example makes it seem like it's expecting another. I don't know.

Hook, Line, Sinker

Sinker? I don't even know 'er.

Gales, absolute gales of uproarious laughter.

Okay, enough. A fisherman of my acquaintance pointed out to me recently that often there must be a choice between fishing and sex (and to his shame in anonymity, he chooses fishing, but we still love him) and it was too bad that there couldn't be both simultaneously.

Which seemed like a terrific idea to me. Imagine, if you will, a sport boat, out in the Caribbean, and on board we have little ol' me and a studly stud with a massive pole... and also a large rod. We could go fishing for a big one, as it were, or we could try to catch a marlin. Instead, we decide to do both.

Just think what it would be like. First, there are large portions of fishing (and I've been fishing many times, before anyone asks) which are boring (which is when I usually wish I had someone along who was more interested in me than in the fish). So we could both get in that big chair in the bow of the boat, totally naked of course, with his cock thrusting up into me, me on his lap facing forward, and just enjoy that while we waited for the tell-tale tug on the line.

Then, when we hooked one, imagine the ride. I think the tension of both of us trying to reel in a monster, being tossed about over the ocean by waves and such, would be a terrific way to fuck. Sure, there are some logistics there, but still, if we could make it work, what a ride indeed. The pole pressing back against my clit, rubbing up and down with every bounce, his cock thrusting into me, rooting me in place, his body pressing against mine as we both fight the fish.

Anyone out there who's a porno producer, this shit needs to get made. I've seen sex on boats, but not like this. If you could make it happen, it'd definitely be a new angle.

Yeah, I'm a bit pent up, if you haven't noticed.

But for the ladies out there, I could see the same thing with a double dildo, or maybe somehow attaching a dildo to the pole so as it got jerked around it would fuck the girl in front. I can see possibilities. But I think most of us gals know the correct answer to the question, "Fishing or sex?"

It's, "Sex!" for those guys out there who might wonder.

More TMI

Straight from the horse's mouth this time. Again, I'm really not going to make this a regular thing; I prefer to come up with my own trivia. But until something happens worth blogging about, we'll be having the occasional one of these just to keep the wheel greased.

1. How do you differentiate between love and lust?

   Love is spiritual, lust is physical. Or, to put it a slightly less pretentious way, lust is what makes you stupid. Love shouldn't make you stupid.

2. You are happily married, engaged, or committed in a relationship, yet you have a hot sexy dream about someone you have always wanted to do it with. Have you cheated at least in your mind?

   No. I once won the lottery in my dreams, and I can fly regularly. Does that make me a rich bird?

3. Do you trust your significant other?

   Yes. I'm not a suspicious person by and large.

4. How important is your husband or wife wearing their wedding bands? Is it important to you and why?

   Yes, but not because of trust. Because, if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right. I'm going to have to get a stainless-steel ring, probably, so I don't damage it, but I'll wear it.

5. Do you feel that flirting is OK if you are taken?

   Depends on why you're flirting. If you're flirting because you're being social, that's one thing, but if you're flirting because you're trying to move on to something past flirting, then that's not okay. Unless your sig-O approves of it, of course.

6. If you were 100% guaranteed not to get caught having a one night stand with someone else, would you?

   I'd love to say, "No, absolutely not." And I think, for the most part, that'd be my answer. But I'm not always a good person. I'm trying, and I'm getting better, but there was definitely a time in my life when I couldn't have answered "No" honestly.

There ya go.

More About Screwing

Because I've had a number of people wishing they could see my magical screw-dildo, and because I have no way of taking pictures of myself using it, I've scoured the web for pictures which come close.

For a long time, nothing. I was striking out. The only ones I was able to find were butt-plugs with tiny whirls on them. Nothing like a drywall screw.

But then, lack of sleep (going on a few days now, woot woot) obviously scrambled my brain and enabled me to think of the proper search term, because I turned up two fabulous photos of almost what I've got.

This one is a bit too fat. It's really a monster. But the breasts are nice, aren't they? I imagine if I tried to play with that, I'd break down the middle. But it's the general idea.

This one, on the other hand, is just about exactly what I've got, except mine looks a little more like an actual screw (and has a Philips head imprint in the base). There's no sense of scale here, so let me just say that my dildo is too long for me to even think about taking all of, if it were just your standard, garden-variety dildo. And it's really too big for me most days too. But it does look like a drywall screw, doesn't it? If I had a video or something of it in action, I'd share, but I don't, so you'll have to imagine it being slowly screwed into a tight cunt.

Damn, I wish I had someone who'd do me with it right now. No, wait, I wish I could sleep for 24 hours, wake up, and then have what I just said. Instead, I've got stuff I should be doing. Hooray.

Off-Topic

This post is not about sex. If that's what you're looking for, skip this post, because it ain't happenin' Chester.

Okay, now that the stampede has died down, I just wanted to pimp Girls With Slingshots. I came to a knowledge of its existence in the way I normally come to such things (random connections to other websites). I've known about it for all of a week, and in that time, I've devoured the archive. Oh, yeah, I guess I'm not saying what it is. It's a webcomic. A funny webcomic, but a good one too.

Basically, I'm not sleeping, so I've been reading it. And if I could draw or had any modicum of artistic ability in the area of comics, this is the comic I wish I could draw. For one thing, there are a lot of attractive people in it (well, attractive for a comic). For another, it's just good. For another, while it's not as twisted as I am, its sensibilities are right where I'd like to be. If I could live in a comic strip, it would be this one.

You should read it. It is funny, sweet, and surprisingly good at talking about attitudes surrounding sex and relationships (and I know that saying that will scare away a lot of people, but that's why I say "surprisingly" because there are a lot of things which talk about sex and relationships which may say good things, but say them in a profoundly unenjoyable way). I want to live there.

Pimping done. It's the only site which isn't a blog or a porno that I think I've ever linked to, so that's high praise, I guess. I could link to others, but I think GWS captures something which is pertinent to what my life is like. Or something like that. Plus, really, it's funny. Laugh-out-loud funny.

And I'm going insane from lack of sleep, so that too.

Not According To Plan

So I was planning on having a quiet weekend, free from distractions, to get some shit sorted out and to prepare for the upcoming hectic schedule of pimping myself out to prospective employers, among other things. An introspecticus, if you will.

Yeah, I weakened a little yesterday in the face of profound loneliness, but when I got back and posted to the blog, I figured, "Hey, that's out of the way, now on with the serious hat."

About half an hour after I finished posting, I got a call from some people I know from work telling me that I absolutely had to meet them at this bar in town. Cue dramatic music. I didn't really want to go out, but I'd had a drink (well, I'd started a drink which was sitting at my elbow as I talked to them on the phone) and I decided that I'd go out, just for a little while, catch up, maybe have one drink at the bar (not because I was afraid of drunken debauch, but because I can't afford more than one) and hang.

It was a small group, two guys I know from various theatre jobs we've pulled together, Rick and Janos (who has an ethnic name but is about as non-ethnic as you're likely to come across). What they didn't tell me was that it was karaoke, which... I can't stand. Sorry, I am not a karaoke gal. Open mic night, if I get enough liquor in me, I've been known to play/sing music, but karaoke doesn't work for me.

I should have turned around and left, begged off somehow, but I'm not good at that. I get myself into situations where I can't get out of them (not bad, but situations where I don't really want to be, scenes I'm not into, that kind of thing). So I sat there, and since they were buying, had a bit more to drink than I intended, which, combined with the previously-rushed drink, produced a mellow only broken by the fact that it was too loud. I was on the cusp of singing karaoke, just because I was bored by the whole thing.

But eventually they had worked out whatever karaoke itch they had, and we'd finished our drinks, and they wanted to continue partying somewhere less loud with more comfort. Rick's house was in town, so we tramped over there. It wasn't that late for them, but I was feeling very tired at that point, just because recently I've been getting up early and not sleeping well. Whatever.

Rick had booze, and we kept drinking, and eventually talk turned to poker and the strip varieties thereof. I've worked with these guys, they really weren't just looking to get me naked. Plus I'm pretty sure I was the one who introduced the strip aspect to the conversation. It was past tired into crazy for Lexi at that point. I wasn't passing-out drunk, just stupid drunk and past the point of sleepy to the point of zombie. Not a good combination.

I am not a good poker player stone cold sober, and I didn't acquit myself well. Janos might have been a good poker player sober, but he was rambunctious drunk, so he and I wound up mostly naked while Rick was still wearing pants. I threw in the towel before I had to part with my underwear, not out of modesty but because I got bored with losing, and then we tried to find something interesting on TV.

I know Rick better than I know Janos, and there's really no attraction there. Janos, on the other hand, I'd worked with once before, so I didn't really know him. Rick excused himself to go to the bathroom, and Janos and I were there alone, and we were both stupid drunk, and he wasn't bad looking in his BVDs. He did make the first move; I wasn't looking to hook up with him. He's kind of arrogant when he's drunk, his confidence level is way up, and he just told me he knew I wanted to suck his cock.

Rick came back and found us making out on the couch, and just left the room. I guess he went to bed, because that was the last I saw of him. Maybe he knows Janos better than I do, maybe it's not the first time, I don't know. Or maybe, as I fear, I've destroyed my reputation in his eyes and he just couldn't stand to be in the same room as me. Yes, I have self-esteem issues, thanks for asking. I wasn't paying attention at that point though, so maybe he watched from the doorway. I just know he was gone when we were done.

Janos' cock, when I got to it, was worth being confident about. He had quite a monster in his pants, maybe as big as Dad's, and I enjoyed going down on it immensely. If I'm going to fuck drunk, I want a bigger cock, just because I want more stimulation to break through the haze. I didn't trust my gag reflex, so I didn't let him do anything fancy, but I sucked him off until he told me to stop.

He was very commanding, and sober I would have been annoyed (well, sober I probably wouldn't have had anything to do with him), and in fact I am a bit annoyed looking back, but I guess at the time I was feeling submissive, because I let him take control completely. The first time he bent me over the arm of the couch and just pulled my panties to one side and pressed in, hard and fast. I came, just a little tiny O, although maybe it was just that I was too drunk to feel it fully. He had staying power, lasted so long I came again before he grabbed my hips roughly and pumped what felt like a gallon of spunk into me. No, I was not protected. Yes, I am aware of how stupid that is. No, I should probably not be allowed out of the house without a chaperon.

Then he flipped me over and played with the cum seeping from my pussy, fingering it out of me and offering it to me to lick off his fingers. My bra came off at some point there, and when he got the easiest cum out of me, he pulled off my panties too and made me strain to get out as much as possible. There are probably some stains on Rick's couch now. God, I don't know what I'm going to do when I wind up working with him again.

Janos fetched another drink, basically poured some of it down my throat, then tossed off the rest himself. My head was spinning. I am not excusing my lack of decorum; I was into it just as much as he was. But I was also very drunk. Poor choices, children.

He ordered me to suck his cock again, which was already half-hard, and I did until he was ready again, then he took me the same way a second time. After a few minutes, I guess he got bored or tired, so he told me to ride him, which I did. God, that was hard; I was getting serious vertigo bouncing on him. I didn't cum at all that time, and eventually I wound up lying on his chest and just rocking my pelvis on him until he said he couldn't cum like that, then we rolled off the couch and wound up with him on top of me thrusting his cock into me like mad until he finally grunted and came inside me again.

I just lay there while he messed around with my pussy. I was spent. Too little sleep, too much booze, I didn't even care when he dangled his cock on my face for me to suck. I doubt I did very well, but I guess it got him hard, because before I knew it, I was on my face, spread-eagled, with him pulling my hips into the air so he could fuck me. I was almost passed out at that point, didn't feel much of anything.

The sky was light when I woke up, still on the floor naked. Janos was nowhere to be seen, neither was Rick. I was still drunk, not as drunk, but too drunk to think straight. So I pulled on whatever clothes I wound up pulling on and walked home slowly. Nobody stopped me, nobody arrested me, nobody even looked twice at me (not that there were that many people out) so I must have been at least semi-decent. And I wound up with all my clothes and belongings at home (I checked once I sobered up).

From the feel of my pussy, I might have been fucked while I was passed out. I do not want to see Janos again, ever. I was not raped, by any stretch, but I don't think I care for him, plus I can see it being awkward. Fortunately, he's less likely to crop up. But I made a fool of myself in front of Rick, looked like a total slut, and chances are good I'll wind up working with him, or even with him as my boss, again.

Poor choices. Am I being self-destructive? I don't know. I don't think this has anything to do with Sveta. I think it has to do with my current life-situation. I mean, if I were with Sveta right now, I wouldn't have done that (I certainly don't think so, anyway). If I were working, or if I felt like I had some plan for the future... yeah.

So the weekend's been going well. Staying up that late made me sleep in, which fucked my sleep schedule all to Hell, not what I needed. I'm just going to have to avoid temptation for the foreseeable future. I honestly don't know why I agreed to go to a bar with them in the first place. Damn it. I'm a little pissed off at myself at the moment.

I Was Lonely

Perry goes back to work next week, and I basically forced him to see me today. Just got back a little while ago from that. As the title says, I was lonely, and the house was empty, so I called him up in the late morning and essentially said, "You want to take a few hours from your busy life and fuck me, right?" To the credit of his character I suppose, he was somewhat more difficult to convince than I was expecting. He said he had a lot of preparations to make for the upcoming school year, etc. and so on, but I wasn't buying it and eventually he stopped trying to sell it, laughed, and said he figured he could squeeze me in.

And then I called Sveta and told her. We've talked almost every day, and she had today off because of the holiday weekend (for whatever reason; I don't get why so many schools start up before Labor Day for maybe two days and then give a long weekend) so she was available to take my call. I don't know why I told her; I wasn't trying to make her jealous, I just wanted her to know what I was going to do, I guess. Openness can't be a bad thing. Of course, she was jealous, but not of him, of me, because she's been so busy she hasn't even had time to think about sex, or so she says. She's so terrific, told me I had to tell her all about it later, but basically told me to go get him.

I packed a handful of condoms, my other basic supplies, left my panties at home, and went over. He was there at the door waiting for me when I came up the walk. God knows what his neighbors think; probably nothing at all, since it's not like I'm 12 or anything. What he does is his own business. We kissed in the entryway, kissed on the way up the stairs, kissed as we were pulling off clothes, and then he laid me back on the bed and started my favorite part of fucking him, which is his amazing tongue. Girls, I hope one day you'll all be as lucky as I have been in finding this guy, because I came twice on his tongue, like firecrackers going off.

When I came to, I saw him putting on a condom, obviously preparing for the main event, his cock rock-hard, and I asked, "Have you ever done a girl in the ass?"

He seemed a little surprised. "Once. She didn't want to get popped, so we tried it that way."

"Did you like it?"

"She didn't. We had to stop."

"I do."

"You want it?"

I just rolled over and waved my ass in the air. God, it had been forever since I last had it in the ass. When he pressed in, I was even a little out of practice, let myself reject him a little, which worried him. But I reassured him that it was better than fine, and after a moment to orient himself, he started pumping my asshole. What a feeling.

I didn't cum, and he came pretty quickly, but it still eased the hunger a little. I asked him if he had time for another, and he told me he really had to get some work done... but if I was willing to wait around a bit, I could catch him in an hour, maybe?

I don't know how he was able to switch off the sex portion of his brain with me lying there naked and waiting for him. But I guess he needed time to build up another head of steam too. I said I'd amuse myself for a while, and then turned on his TV and caught an episode of Law and Order. I guess he used my presence to good effect, because he was back long before an hour was up, and when I asked if he'd gotten weak, he said that he'd actually gotten done in record time. So it wasn't completely wasted time.

I asked him if he wouldn't mind waiting until after he came to treat me to his oral ministrations, and he obliged. He was hard and I wanted it again right away, so he got on another condom and then much more firmly pressed into my colon again. He kept complimenting me, and I'm afraid it did swell my ego a bit, but I could use a bit of confidence lately, so I'll forgive myself. He loved my ass; now he'll probably never want to fuck any other way. I've ruined him for pussies. Ah well, more anal for me.

He got me much closer this time, took a little longer to cum, although he told me I was as tight as a schoolgirl (I guess he'd know, right?). Then he flipped me over and ate me out until I was just rolling with orgasms, like waves on a beach. I don't know how he does it, really; it's like his tongue is everywhere at once. It manages to tickle my clit in a way I love, plus his lips suck on my pussy and his tongue fucks me too. I don't know, it's an experience. I don't cum as hard as I ever have, maybe, but it happens more quickly and often. I don't know, I enjoy it. I don't stop him and ask him to go slower so I can analyze his technique.

Then I wanted dinner and he said he had to do more work, so sadly that was it. It was longer than a quickie, but it really was just two quickies separated by a space. Dot-Dash-Dot, if you will. Satisfying, but then it made me emotional on the way home for no particular reason, and I called Sveta up only I couldn't get her. I finally did and she said she was really busy too, so I gave her the abbreviated version of events and told her I loved her, then signed off.

I really can't see Perry becoming a relationship. I don't really know him as a person, and I get the feeling he's not interested in any kind of commitment at all. Plus, he asked when he might see Sveta again, so he's probably a lech. But what a lech. So I'll probably keep using him to get my ya-yas out, get some anal at more regular intervals, and let it be at that. I'm not looking to date him. He's just a decent fuck. I wish I could get Sheri down here and the two of us could tag-team him. Or better yet, I wish he had a male friend and then two of them could tag-team me. I really need two guys. I haven't been doubled in a while, and if I'm going to have meaningless sex, I'd like to have something less vanilla.

But for the next few weeks, I've got jobs to interview for, so I don't know how much time I'll have to do much of anything else. I've put a few things in the pipe, so if nothing else, you should get a few filler posts while I'm busy. On the other hand, I may get so horny that I have to post something. Who knows.

Domination

Let me start by saying to all my readers/friends out there who are into the lifestyle that I'm not criticizing you. I don't know enough about the actual lifestyle to criticize. I don't know enough about the lifestyle to call it anything other than "the lifestyle" (and dom/sub, which is probably incorrect). I'm really talking about my reactions to what little I know, and why I'm not into it. But hey, if we were all into the same thing... yeah yeah, shining happy different people blah blah you know.

I'd like to start with an analogy if I may (gonna drop some philosophy on your asses). I'm a woman. I enjoy being felt up, enjoy toys inside me, that kind of thing. I don't really enjoy gynaecologists. They're not doing exactly the same things, but while I can find the mechanics stimulating (perhaps a story for another time, not a sexy but an embarrassing story, so on second thought maybe not) I don't find it pleasant. Similarly, while I like being felt up, I don't want strangers to do it at random. And while I am sometimes attracted to the idea of watersports, I don't want to go to a bar and drink the bartender's piss.

I guess what I'm saying is that I enjoy sex, and things having to do with sex, but I don't necessarily enjoy them outside of the context of sex. And that's where the whole dom/sub thing is, for me. I sometimes enjoy a bit of domination in the bedroom, sure. Catch me in the right mood and I might enjoy a bit of submission from you as well. But once we've fucked, I don't want you telling me what to wear or where to go, nor do I want to have to tell you what to do.

As a purely sexual act, I can see the appeal (not hardcore, but a little light play, because I'm a wuss). But as a lifestyle, I can't, because it wouldn't be about sex any longer. Not everything in my life is about sex, despite what the blog might make you think. So if my entire life is going to be styled in a certain way, I'm going to need to be comfortable with it outside the bedroom, and I'm just not. I believe in equal rights and all that jazz; if you're dominating me, I might feel sexy for a while, but eventually, I'd want to do something without your permission.

Again, I know that I know almost nothing about it, and I'm in no way judging anyone. I'm just saying that I haven't been able to get into it because I'm too capricious and not interested in having my sex life invade the rest of my life. At least in that regard.

Because I probably seem pretty hypocritical right now. After all, I let other aspects of sex invade my regular life. But the full-on dom/sub lifestyle kind of rubs me wrong, and I do often have to restrain myself from telling people they shouldn't put up with that kind of shit. It's a bias I have, and I'm not proud of it, any more than I would be owning up to racism or homophobia.

Basically, what I'm saying here is that I'm trying, really trying, and I know that my own life has a lot of room for judgment so I'm trying not to say things like, "He won't let you do what? Honey, that's a deal-breaker." I love that show. So I hope all my dom/sub readers (and indeed any readers of any fetish or lifestyle that I am not into) will accept my apology for anything I might have said in the past which sounded judgmental. I'm not thinking of anything in particular, partially because I can't always see that I'm doing it when I do. But by exposing this particular bugbear, if you will, I hope to give not an excuse but an explanation of where my brain is sometimes (I'm easily confused and I ride the short bus on this subject).

Thanks for putting up with me. I don't really have a community of my own, and it's really unfair to you all that I seem to get lumped in with you (as an "alternative lifestyle" as though that were somehow a ghetto or something). You're better people than I am, and I hope you rub off on me rather than the other way around.

Just because I'm not into it doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because other people aren't into it doesn't mean it's wrong either. I hope that's the point which comes out of me when I'm a bit more philosophical (the point that comes out the rest of the time, of course, is "Lexi tells sexy stories that make everyone cum.")

Short Questions

Just to prove that I wasn't blowing smoke about my last post on the topic of questions, here's one. Well, two.

"why dont u like having phone sex? Have u ever let someone at work watch u masterbate?" -Angel

Second question first. Easy enough to answer. That's how I met James way back when. It's the only time I've ever "let" someone at work watch me. Like I've said, I do try not to be too naughty at work. I'm not always successful in my attempts, but I try.

First question second. I don't like phone sex for several reasons. The main one is that it just doesn't work for me. I love cyber-sex when I get the chance, but on the phone, for whatever reason, nothing. And that's probably reason enough not to like it. Nothing wrong with not liking something because you don't enjoy it. But I've also had several bad experiences with phone sex, so I don't do it. Stalkers, that kind of thing.

Basically, why should I like phone sex? I've had a few times with very special people where it wasn't so much phone sex as sex over the phone, but beyond that, meh. Nothing wrong with other people doing it, but I'm not into it.

More Trivia

Well, here's some other stuff I thought about over a period of time, assembled into a list, then posted. Nothing here worth writing a whole post about, but some tidbits, I guess.

1. I once fucked a guy who was pretty much perpetually hard, at least for the duration of the encounter. He said he was just like that. The downsides were that he wasn't exactly hung like a horse (not that it really matters, but he was pretty small) and that, even though he would cum and stay rock-hard, his cock was really sensitive for ten minutes or so after, so he had to stop fucking in between orgasms. And he wasn't that much in bed. But it was novel, if nothing else. Since then, I've wondered if he should have gotten it looked at, or maybe he had.
2. I don't think I've ever knowingly sucked a cock that has been in someone else's asshole. I've sucked a cock after it's been in my own, but I can't remember if I've ever done it with another person involved. Probably I have, but I'm blocking it out because I think it's a little icky. Too much like scat. It's like how I will rim someone, but I don't get deep, and it's not my favorite activity.
3. I once had an orgasm from a vibrating massage chair. It was not an opportune time for an orgasm at all, and I got glassy-eyed for a moment and probably wet my pants a little. I wasn't expecting it at all. And it's never happened again, not when I've tried. Sure, vibes can make me cum, but this chair made me cum without trying. And as I said, not the best time for it. Fortunately, I was able to excuse myself shortly thereafter and I don't think anyone noticed.
4. Speaking of inopportune orgasms, I had one on the phone doing a job interview once. That was easier to disguise; I just didn't moan directly into the phone, and so what if my eyes crossed. The problem was that I got called for this job interview in the middle of getting myself off and was so flustered (I get that way over the phone which is why I'm not a fan of phone sex) that I forgot I still had the egg in. It wasn't on, and I was at my computer looking at things, and somehow it must have come on, and before I knew it, wham, O. Not a big one, not a yell-down-the-house one, but I did have one and had to pause in the middle of a sentence. Couldn't go rooting around for the egg or find the remote easily, so I wound up conducting the rest of the interview while being buzzed. Final note: I got the job.
5. I've interviewed for jobs while totally naked. Over the phone, of course, but since chances are good that if you call my house, I'll be in some state of undress and we don't have a video phone, I don't bother to put on clothes just to talk to people on the phone. So a lot of people have spoken to me professionally while I sat there, naked. If they only knew, right?
6. I have, however, never spoken professionally on the phone while being fucked. That's too much. Once, Sheri tried to fool around with me while I was on the phone to work, but I told them to hold one second and then hissed at her in no uncertain terms that she was to get the hell out, then closed the door on her. I was a bit of a bitch, but so was she. I'm not really sorry.
7. Gwen and I used to call Mike while we fucked though. I'm sure it tortured him no end. We'd send him pictures too. Such teases.

I'd forgotten all about the orgasm during a job interview. I guess I blocked it from my memory because it was a bit embarrassing. Still, I'm over it and it's a funny story. I don't know what the moral is though.

Comments Redux

Because I moderate my comments I know when I have them, which means I do try to respond to them, particularly if they're a question or comment suitable to response. But because Blogger doesn't tell me what post those comments are for, if they happen to be for a post way back in the mists of time, I often have a hard time figuring out where they are. This is a major failing on Blogger's part, I think.

Anyway, I totally encourage people to post comments on any post they want, including posts way back in the mists of time. I read them all. But I may not respond because I can't figure out where the fucking post is so I can respond. Never let it be said that Blogger is operating a forum. In any case, comment away, and don't be shy just because I might not have responded. I did read it, I promise. And again, if it's a question, I'll make a post about it rather than simply responding in another comment. I do that anyway. You're safe there.

Sorry, this is pretty much just me venting about Blogger. If I weren't poor and lazy, I'd go with something else. Hell, I could get a domain and write my own blogging software complete with all the features I'm looking for, and I wouldn't be saddled with a TOS like Blogger's either. Poor and lazy, remember. Not necessarily in that order either, so don't expect the situation to change even when I get money. Plus the fact that, to secure a domain, you have to give out more information than I'm willing to give. Stupid Internet anonymity screws me again.