Rozewolf wanted limericks, and Advizor echoed, so what the hell, I've composed a few, which have nothing to do with Flash Fiction Friday but that's mostly because I can't see myself being able to write just one and fulfill any requirements. Maybe Flash Limerick Friday. Anyway, ask and ye shall receive.
A girl in a town closely littoral
Had orgasms decidedly clitoral.
Said this girl, "I'm a lass
For whom fingers will pass
But I simply cannot abide shit oral."
The lady came out of the lake
And was wooed by a knight, brave Sir Jake.
Though his sword filled her needs
And did naught but good deeds
'Twas for royalty only she'd quake.
Said the pharaoh, returning from Punt,
"I am horny as hell," with a grunt.
"When I'm back down the Nile
I shall party in style
And fuck everything Ra gave a cunt."
I really wish Blogger would get it together to support the very standards-compliant BR tag, so I could stop jumping through hoops to write poetry. I'm quite proud of the first one; "closely littoral" isn't exactly the finest phrase ever, but it means "near a lake" and it rhymes and scans. And no, "shit oral" doesn't refer to anything other than bad head.
Had I been writing for a less frank audience, I think I could have done the last one, just changing several words around and maybe ending with, "And chase everything Ra gave two legs..." and then trail off and grin. Honestly, you saw it coming, right? I think it might even be funnier that way. But since we're a frank, adult audience around here, I went with the frank, adult version; also, I want to take back "cunt." Also, Ra gave a cunt to things other than women... and here I'm trailing off and smiling again.
Yeah, I have nothing better to do than write dirty limericks for you. I'm like your trained limerick-writing monkey.
2 comments:
Lovely limericks, Lexi! I love that I learn new words (like "littoral") whenever I read your blog.
What trouble are you having with >br<? I use it all the time, so I know Blogger supports it. Usually when I do verse, I use the visual editor, which seems to respect line breaks you type (it puts in the br tag for you).
The new post editor loves BRs, but won't do P tags (at least it wouldn't the last time I tried it), and that's no good. The old post editor will do P tags (after some finagling) but doesn't seem to respect BRs. I don't know. I wish Blogger would get on the ball and use TinyMCE like everyone else in the known universe seems to, but then they'd probably have licensing issues or something. I don't think standards-compliant code is high on their list of priorities. Hell, I wish they'd let me reply to comments, but they don't do that either. The only thing I can say in defense of Blogger vs. Wordpress is that their free hosted service is better in terms of the ability to muck with the design code; if I had to put up with a one-size-fits-all template, I'd shoot myself in the digital head.
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