Present, Tense

I came home today from work feeling incredibly horny. Just exploding with horny. Like ten pounds of horny in a five pound sack. Yeah, I was horny. How horny was I? I wish I could come up with a suitable Rodney Dangerfield joke about horniness here, but I'm too damn horny. I tell ya, I was hornier than a Catherine the Great on stable-cleaning day. Horny!

I couldn't do anything about it right away; I had to deal with dinner and then decompress. But I'm now going to do the only thing I have, which is to pick out a couple of toys and have fun with them, because fingers ain't gonna do it today. And since I have sweet fuck all to write about, I thought I might share a bit of the sensations.

First off, I'm holding up one of my more aggressive vibrators to my nipples. I can't use this one on my clit most days; too sensitive. But it's working just fine on the girls. I like how the vibration jars the nerve endings in the nipple itself, but carries on into the breast and even into the ribs. It's like a combination of nipple play and a massage, both of which I enjoy individually. I could use a massage. Yeah, this is probably going to be a bit stream-of-consciousness-y, so if that bothers you, better leave now.

I should explain that I'm typing as I go, but not necessarily as it happens; I can't type particularly well with one hand at the best of times. So I'm typing and playing and typing and playing, and then I'll probably edit a bit to catch typos and totally off-the-wall shit. I'm not used to doing this. We'll see how it goes.

Sometimes I use oil with vibes on my nipples. It doesn't really improve the sensation of the vibe, but it improves the sensation of moving the vibe all around. Today though, I'm just sticking with the plain vibe. I don't really want to clean up after, not too much. There's a bit more abrasion this way, so I don't move as often, but I can put the vibe on the underside of the nipple and kind of roll it around.

But enough of foreplay. I also brought my newest buttplug, which I bought the last time I really, really wished I had a cock to fuck my ass. Sometime last year, I believe. I'd never owned a glass plug before. The trick, I find, is to warm it up first; it gets fucking cold in the winter, and cold glass in the derrière is only fun if you're into that kind of thing. A few times it's been borderline and I've been in a hurry, so I've just stuck it in and felt the slow warming sensation, but today, too damn cold. I ran it under scalding hot water for a while until it warmed up.

Okay, here goes. It's not huge; I don't really believe in giant toys in the back door. It gets a little thicker than your average cock right before the dip at the base, which feels just... no, wait, getting ahead of myself. A little lube on it; I'm using extra-virgin olive oil, actually. I know, I know, but I like it for various reasons. Your mileage my vary. Anyway, the sheen of just a little oil on the purple glass (yeah, I like purple) is very pretty, but I won't be looking at it long.

I can type while sitting back on it. I'm teasing myself a little, sitting down on it so it pops in but only the top, then backing off. It's not like a cock at all, but it's a wonderful sensation nonetheless, and if you've been looking to try out anal (boys or girls) I recommend toys as a starting point highly. The spreading of my ass cheeks is a fun sensation too, which you don't usually get with a cock, since aim is important there.

Okay, like I was saying, the widest part is just wider than your average cock, and there's this great moment of tension as I get right up to it, like I'm not going to make it all the way. I love that about a plug like this; I know I can take it, but there's still that delicious moment where I feel like, "Oh shit, I'm going too far." And then the release as the whole thing pops in and the base is pressing against my butt, the wide part still stretching but inside now. I'm just going to sit for a few minutes and enjoy the full feeling. Maybe trying adjusting my posture a little so different areas take pressure. Sitting on a rigid plug, as opposed to a softer one, is harder; there's a lot more pressure.

I can feel a little spasm in my ass. Wondering if maybe I shouldn't have gone so ambitious. It's been longer than I wanted since I had something in my ass, and maybe I should have worked back into rhythm. I'm just going to take it slow and let it in for a while. I'm actually kind of thrilled; shows my ass is still tight. I try to keep trim. Anal is great, but you do have to be careful otherwise you'll wind up carrying a colostomy bag. That, at any rate, is what the naysayers are fond of saying, and there's a small part of my brain which listens. I don't know; I've never had any trouble, but maybe there's truth to it and I've been lucky.

Okay, my pussy is positively dripping, and having to break off to write is just winding me up mercilessly. I think before I try anything fancy, I'm going to get myself off. Excuse me for a moment.

That was nice. A simple one, just fingers on my joy buzzer, but with the added tightness of the plug the sensations were brought to the fore. The spasm came back in my ass as I came, and I felt a bit like I was going to somehow defy physics and anatomy and shoot the plug out of my ass, through the chair, and shatter it in a million pieces on the floor. I believe the term of art is peristalsis, but whatever it was, it was fighting all the way, and while at first for the newcomer that might sound unpleasant (and indeed until you get the hang of it it probably is unpleasant) I enjoy it immensely. Cumming with anal penetration is the next step up from just anal; some people never get any of it, and some people never experience the orgasm in their asses, but lucky me I guess.

I believe I may have whimpered a bit too, if that's your bag. I'm usually not terribly vocal during masturbation, but I was just so keyed up. Not the most intense orgasm ever, but perfectly decent. I'm terrible at describing the actual physical sensation of orgasm; this one was mostly in my belly and hips; it didn't shoot up my spine or down my legs, which sometimes happens. I don't think any of these things really happen, of course, but the feelings do.

Okay, having stabilized and still wanting more, time to pull out the big guns. I've got my favorite black dildo, 10 inches but not too wide, and I'm going to spread my legs a bit and feed him into my pussy and see what happens. He's not anatomical, really; basically just a shaft with the indication of a head. Quite firm, and ten inches is really false advertising because you have to use the bottom two or so as a handle. But anyway, I don't really want to be stuffed. I'm just looking for something inside me.

Latex or rubber or whatever it is doesn't feel like flesh. For one thing, I find that I need lube with toys more than I do with cocks. In this case though, personal production was more than sufficient. I am not now nor have I ever been a squirter, but I can ruin sheets. I just rubbed him around, got his head all nice and juicy, and now he's a few inches in. Dildos really don't give me the sensation of penetration that I crave; if they did... well, maybe nothing would change, but on the other hand I might just become a lesbian, because if I could get from rubber what I want from a cock... but the point is moot, since I can't. I feel full, but the feeling isn't connected to anything, and the warmth and give is different. I would imagine that fake pussies probably feel the same way to guys. Sure, it can get you off, but it's not the same. Maybe not.

Okay, I'm twisting him in. I like to do that sometimes, and it's something that's hard to do with a cock. I can really do it with my corkscrew dildo (and here as well) but as I mention in those posts, it's hard to do that to myself. This way I just ease in while twisting, which produces a nice tension in all directions. If you've never turned a dildo (it's got to be large enough for you to feel it) while inserting, I recommend trying it. I enjoy it, and if someone would invent a way for sex to take place while rotating... no, wait, I think someone has, and it looks damned uncomfortable.

Anyway, I've got the dildo in as far as I'm interested in going this evening, and the pressure between dildo and plug is very nice. I had another tickle of an O on the way to full insertion; it was really just a shiver, maybe not even what some people would qualify as an orgasm. But if a sudden shiver comes straight out of my cunt while I'm doing things like this, I'll qualify it. What the Hell; it's not like it's the only O I ever have.

And now, for the coup de grace, a very, very gentle vibe egg, which I will be holding on my clit. And what the Hell, mess be damned, I'm going to lube up a bit. I like this vibe for this purpose because it doesn't seem to stay in one place. It's somewhat slower and feels like a tongue moving around on my clit, rather than a jackhammer trying to bore into my pelvis. Not that it's better than a tongue, but for the solo, it'll suffice. A little oil, careful not to get too messy, and now...

There follows a short interval of purring noises, punctuated by sharp gasps.

I really, really wish I could wire my brain up so you could feel what I just felt, because it was very nice and difficult to describe. It felt like the orgasm, when it came, was actually originating from between my pussy and ass, which, as I've mentioned numerous times, is a real erogenous zone for me. DP doesn't always give me an O like that, but combining DP and clit stim (which is harder than it should be when the DP is cocks rather than toys) seems to be a good way to attempt it.

I'm glad now I put down a towel. I would have ruined the computer chair, or at least had to mop up. Again, had Sveta undergone what I just did, she would have been gushing. Me, I... well, not to put too fine a point on it, but I think I drool a bit. Not when being fucked though; the in-out of a cock keeps the drool down. But when there's no movement to the penetration, it's a bit like holding something tasty between your teeth.

I could continue, and probably will, but I can't continue typing at the same time. I'd like to try to have another in a more private setting, with more comfort involved. So I'm calling a halt to this little experiential experiment and heading to more comfortable surroundings. Hope you enjoyed the attempt, and if you've got any suggestions, let me know.