TMI Dating

From TMI, as always.

1. You’re on a speed date. You’ve got 7 minutes with the potential partner. You already know the person’s name. What are the first three questions you would ask?

I don't know; I'd probably choke under pressure.

1. What do you like to do for fun?
2. What do you do for work?
3. How do you feel about your family?

Like I said, choke under pressure. I couldn't speed date, I don't think.

2. Have you ever participated in speed dating? Did you get a regular date/second date out of it?

Nope; as I said above, I'd probably freak out and run screaming. Or wish things had gone that well as I stutter through something that sounds like a series of questions.

3. Do you participate in online dating? How many dates have you had as a result of online dating sites/matches?

I've thought about it at various times in my life, although probably less for "dating" and more for "meeting a group of people with whom to do a thing." But I've always felt a bit sketchy about that aspect of it, and as far as actually dating, it's complicated.

4. You are attracted to:

a. Who people are?

How could you not be attracted to who someone is? That's an incredibly metaphysical question. I suppose if one were attracted to what people have, then you could answer no to this one, but otherwise, come on.

b. What people have?

I admit that occasionally I've fallen for a guy with some material possession. But it's not a deciding factor; if the guy is a total asshat, no amount of money or number of possessions is going to change that.

c. What they can do?

I have a soft spot for musicians, I'm afraid.

5. What “little red flag” will cause you to end a date or immediately decide this person isn’t for you?

Well, it's a bit of a cliche, but if someone is rude to the waiter, that illustrates something about them that I wouldn't like. Rude to anyone other than me, really. Other than that, it's just a vibe thing; sometimes guys in particular give off a certain vibe which leaves me totally cold. I haven't dated as many women, and I usually don't blind date women.

6. What do you feel you need to sacrifice or have sacrificed to be a part of a relationship?

If you view compromise as sacrifice, you're headed for trouble. It's not a bargain. Relationships are mutual commitment, not mutual sacrifice. Sure, one could look at putting the other person's interests first as being a sacrifice, but I don't know that I'd call that a good thing. You're not exchanging your own goals for the relationship, you're both changing goals to be mutually beneficial. Something like that. When relationships become negotiations, either you're in a sitcom or you're in a rocky relationship.

7. If you cooked for your date, what would you cook?

I'd ask what they wanted to eat, and if I could cook it, I'd try. If they told me to pick something, I'd think of something interesting. I'm a cook who likes variety, so one date might get vindaloo and another might get pasta. I make no guarantees if you ask me to choose and don't give me any restrictions.

8. At the end of a first date, how would you kiss your date?

It depends how the date went. I've had sex on the first date, and I've cordially shaken hands at the end of the third or fourth. The kiss or lack thereof doesn't always mean much for the future of the relationship either; I went on to have a long-term loving relationship in both of the example cases. It's also important to note that often I don't "date" in the traditional sense, so it's harder to say what the "first date" is.

Bonus: You just put up a profile on a dating site. You must describe yourself in 10 words or less. What are your 10 words?

"Redhead who chokes under the pressure of 10 words seeks..." Crap. "Redhead, twenties-ish, non-monogamous, pan-sexual, semi-funny, well-read, quasi-emotionally-damaged, dating-challenged, nymphomaniacal, overly-hyphenated." That's a first draft. I'd definitely work the hyphens though.