Maybe TMI Tuesday

The TMI questions haven't spoken to me of late, or I haven't been around to answer them, but I was looking for something to do and stumbled upon this list of 168 questions, which I shall endeavor to answer, even though many of them are bad/stupid. It'll be fun. Really.

1. Do you think it’s rad to have alcoholism? Nope. Not at all.
2. have you had sex Yes. Yes I have.
3. who won the world cup in 1956 Ah, the internet is replete with information. No one did. They didn't have one that year.
4. what is your favorite instrument? I like the guitar a lot, because I can play it.
5. Why am I sad? If you find out, let me know because I am a lot too.
6. Do you like cheesecake? Not really. Sacrilege, I know.
7. Where are you? At Sveta's. The internet has been partially resolved.
8. why the fuck is this screen moving in rainbow colors? LSD? Answering a question with a question.
9. whos on first Yes, yes he is.
10. you hungry? A little.
11. why 42
12. why does light bend on water Because the relative densities of water and air are different, and the speed of light is dependent on the medium through which the light is moving.
13. anything? well.. why did we decide to call the sky blue? We didn't. The sky is blue sometimes, but I'm pretty sure that blue came before the sky was called blue.
14. Who is the most beautiful woman in my life right now? Your life? Me? No, probably not.
15. Do you enjoy ana sex? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they meant anal, not anorexic (which is bad, kids) and yes, I do like anal sex.
16. What does it mean if it hurts when I pee? Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a urologist!
17. how old are you? Older than I'd like to be.
18. are you a fucking idiot? Only sometimes.
19. shortest time to run a mile No idea. A long time. I hate running long distances. Sprints were always my thing, and I don't run at all any more.
20. i am bored. whats should i do? Learn to type.
21. how are you? I've been better, but I've been worse.
22. will you fundle my breasts? Sure. Present them.
23. Do you eat poop? Nope. Squicks me out something terrible.
24. Do you like carrots? Sure.
25. how old are you Just answered that one, and at least the previous question had a question mark.
26. how old are you? (no homo) :D Wow, people have a lot of spare time. Like me.
27. Have you ever liked a poison frog No, poison frogs are terrible mooches, at least the ones I've known. Maybe if I just gave them a chance... Oh, you meant have I licked a poison frog. No. Sounds like a bad idea.
28. do u suck penises Yes.
29. hola Como esta? I don't speak Spanish.
30. What is your favorite animal? Cats, probably. I'm okay with dogs, but I really love cats. Sveta and I are thinking of getting one when we get a place of our own.
31. Do you like waffles? Yes. Yes I do.
32. Shits on dicks when you see tits? Not to the best of my knowledge.
33. who is the smartest person in the world Certainly not you.
34. What is your purpose? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? As good as any, I guess.
35. weiner? If it's a sausage, sure. If it's a cock, sure.
36. virgin or not? Not for a long time.
37. do you believe in the tooth fairy? Yes. I just don't have any more teeth to give him.
38. Do you put used toilet paper in the toilet or trash can? Toilet. Who uses a trash can?
39. What degree should I get from college? Not theater. Probably something medical.
40. why aren’t we just nice to each other? Because some people just won't learn, so we have to hit them really hard.
41. are you a negro? Are you a racist?
42. what is your sexuality? Anywhere I can find it.
43. Have you ever sucked a penis on someone with breasts? No. I would though.
44. green? Lemon curry?
45. are you a lesbian When the situation calls for it.
46. When will I be rich. When you learn to ask questions with question marks, and then only if you wish really, really hard on a big old star.
47. Are you a psychic? Yes. I can see into the future for almost two seconds sometimes.
48. Are you awesome? Maybe. I'll leave that to my critics to answer.
49. sup? Lemon curry?
50. Are you gay? If the situation calls for it.
51. If you could take any reality tv show off air, which one would it be? All of them?
52. are u horny Why, yes, yes I am.
53. What’s up? A direction.
54. can you fly? In my dreams sometimes, or if I got a valid pilot's license and didn't repudiate the Bernouli principal.
55. who are you To quote myself: "I have a sex life that some people seem to find entertaining to read about, so I write about it when I can. But I'm no stranger than anyone else, really. Just looking for love."
56. what’s your favorite color? Red, purple, or black.
57. How hot am i? Get a thermometer and see.
58. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Egypt maybe. Russia maybe.
59. how do I tell my boss I want a raise?! You: "Hi Boss, I'd like a raise." Boss: "Sorry, you don't properly capitalize things."
60. have you ever been in love with your bestfriend ?? Yes.
61. do you like latin women? Some of them.
62. Do you like drugs, and if yes which ones and how often do you use them? Not really so much any more. And only ever pot.
63. have you had sex with both genders? Yep.
64. Drugs=awesome, correct? Incorrect.
65. why are there so many colours? Because the cones in our eyes can distinguish that many. A better question might be, "Why can't we see some colors?" but that's a topic for another day.
66. are you gay? Are you?
67. what makes the world go around? Inertia. What started it moving? No idea.
68. Do you like me? Sure, why not.
69. are you gay? Lemon curry?
70. Why do bees hum? Their wings beat at such a high rate that we perceive it as humming.
71. what are you A redhead with too much time on her hands right now.
72. What are you? Not John K. That much is certain.
73. Are you female or male? Female.
74. can i see boobs Are you blind? If so, probably not. If not, seek some out and I bet you'll be able to see them.
75. blonde or brunette? Neither.
76. how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 14.3 cubic feet per minute.
77. whats going to happen in 2012? A lot of the same old crap, I imagine.
78. are you pointless? Probably.
79. Do you prefer joints of bongs? Is that like a joint of mutton?
80. Who are you? Lemon curry?
81. When will the world end? When we finally achieve lasting Mid-East peace, I bet.
82. will i pass? For what? A human being? Probably.
83. do you like arcade fire? Nope.
84. Here we are all by ourselves? Lemon curry?
85. Do you have a tattoo? No. I might get one one day though.
86. what’s music? Webster's defines music as "vocal, instrumental, or mechanical sounds having rhythm, melody, or harmony." Works for me.
87. what time is it? Past my bedtime.
88. penis or vagina? Both please, as many as you have.
89. what is it? Lemon curry?
90. do you want to play a game? Global Thermonuclear war.
91. Have you ever posted naked pics of yourself on the internet? If so, where? Yes, and here.
92. are you gay ? Yes, okay, fine, you talked me into it. I'm gay! Out of the closet with me!
93. Are you fat? Sometimes I'm fatter than I'd like to be, but that's narcissistic of me to say.
94. is megan fox hot? Eh.
95. are you a racist? Are you the person who asked about negroes earlier?
96. Sex life? Yes please.
97. Can you juggle? A little.
98. scemo di merda nil carborundum
99. where am i going? Around the sun, I imagine.
100. What’s the meaning of life? 42
101. do you know god? We've chatted.
102. hai bb Lemon curry?
103. kirk or picard Kirk. Sorry Picard, you're hot and all, but Kirk is my man.
104. what is your favorite color Light Tuesday.
105. How are you today? Better than worse, worse than better.
106. Are you My evil twin? I don't know; I don't think I'm evil. Maybe you're mine.
107. what is the temperature of the sun? Hot.
108. What is your favorite TV show? Futurama, why not. Pat answer.
109. how old are you? 30, okay. I have become ancient.
110. how many fingers am I holding up? More than -1, less than 25.
111. what’s your name? Lexi.
112. what? Who?
113. What shall I do now? Frankly my dear, I don't give a rat's ass.
114. what is this? What is that?
115. What’s with the rainbow crawl background? More LSD?
116. Are you gay? No, in the time between the last time I answered this question and now, I was successfully converted by a televangelist.
117. how aRE YOU Why are you?
118. What’s the first 100 digits of pi? "3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209 7494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651 3282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102 7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461 2847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432 6648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920 9628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841 4695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179" That's probably enough.
119. do you like cats as much as my kitten cars? I have no idea.
120. how big is your dick? Huge. Massive. Gargantuan.
121. do you like pink? Yes.
122. What city do you live in? Anywhereville USA.
123. What is your favorite snack Kettle chips. So bad for you, but so good.
124. rim jobs? good or not? I'm not a huge fan of receiving, and I don't really like to give. Okay, I guess.
125. what color shirt am i wearing? Lemon curry?
126. are you gay Thank god, I was afraid I'd never break the brainwashing. That damn televangelist. Yes! I'm out again!
127. Yo bitch, Do you ever think that we will discover life outside of our terrestial zone? I don't think there's life inside your terrestrial zone, my friend.
128. What do most people ask you? Take off your shirt! No, only kidding. Lots of things, depending on how well they know me.
129. how your dog? Dead. I've made peace with it.
130. Why should I even bother getting up I wouldn't if I were you.
131. do you like rim jobs? At this point, I'd take any job.
132. do you love me No. Fellow human feeling, certainly, but not love.
133. How do u sex? Examine the pubic region for the genital opening, then determine if the item is male or female based on experience.
134. will you think twice before you touch my girl? Do you treat her well? Then yes. If not, probably yes anyway.
135. are you stupid I'm beginning to think so.
136. Which do you prefer dicks or vagina? That's a hard question to answer. Possibly vagina by a thin margin.
137. Do you have two eyeballs? Yes.
138. do you like tom hanks? He's okay.
139. what is your favorite drink? OJ, straight up.
140. have you ever spanked the monkey in the rain Yes, actually, I have, if that can refer to a woman masturbating.
141. what the fuck is up bro? A direction. I told you already. No need to get snippy.
142. How big is your penis? Tiny. I lied before.
143. do you eat cum Yep. Cheerfully.
144. how is it possible? Many things are.
145. What’s your favorite part about sex? Penetration. Or creampies. Or making my girl cum. I like a lot of things about sex.
146. when was the universe created A long time ago. I believe in dinosaurs.
147. What’s you opinion on the reformation? Martin Luther had a few decent ideas, but like all people with decent ideas (Jesus, I'm looking in your direction too) people came along and misinterpreted those ideas for the worse.
148. what’s your favorite monkey? Golden lion tamarin.
149. Do you like beef Yes. I feel guilty about that, but I love beef.
150. what if i said i love you? I'd wonder about your mental state.
151. what are you Not easily quantified.
152. would you like them ffitted? Lemon curry?
153. How old are you? Old enough to know better?
154. what is this It's a bad question.
155. have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Not until just now.
156. what is the easiest way to blow shit up? ANFO probably. That's Mythbusters talking.
157. What pisses you off the most? Injustice.
158. My husband smokes weed more than he spends time with me. Should I be worried? Yes, I'd say so.
159. How did the world begin I'm leaning toward the Big Bang, but honestly, I don't really care.
160. who are you No one of importance.
161. do you like dick? Do you like Jane?
162. What do you like? All sorts of things.
163. Who has the best breasts? I'll just have to look at them all and get back to you.
164. how big is your dick? Don't have one. Fooled you.
165. am i rich I'm guessing not, because most people aren't, and won't be, no matter what anyone says.
166. Whats up? Your lack of apostrophe.
167. WEED? No, I till; it aerates the soil and returns the nutrients to it.
168. have u ever let a guy fuck u in the ass Yes.

Wow, those were bad. In fairness, they were supposed to be. They were just an example of all the stupid questions people ask. But I had a bit of fun with them, I think.