No Time

I love you all, I really do.  I just wish I had more time.  I'm alive.  I'm just...  Have you ever had things go right just so they can go wrong worse than they were before?  That's about where I am right now.  Terrified of the other shoe dropping.  I wish I could escape to blog-land, tell a few fun, sexy stories, get myself into a tither.  But I can't.  No time.

TMI Saturday

1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)?
*forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.

I might try it out, but I’m not really a dom by nature, nor am I that into men in women’s clothing.  As with many things I’ve never done (not that I’ve never done that many things) it would depend on who was asking and how they asked.

2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?

Aggressive, no.  Cruel, a bit.  I have some dark parts of my psyche which worry me.

3. Tell us your hottest filthiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals, or are social taboos.

To be tied up in a vulnerable position and made use of by random people however they wanted.  Maybe a few rules, but pretty much open season on Lexi.  The bondage isn’t really necessary, but there’s a part of me that would just like to be used right now.  Toilet play definitely involved.  What can I say?  I’m feeling kinky.

4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?

1. Aquaman
2. Superman
3. Wonder Woman
4. She-Ra

Either of the two women, although I could see the up-side to Aquaman as well.  Superman seems like a dick, frankly, and not in a good way.

5. Knowing there’s a hot young couple in the adjoining hotel room, would you press your ear against the wall to hear the action on the other side?

Good lord yes.  I don’t mind if someone listens to me either.

6. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.

I think technology makes it easier to think our abnormalities are okay (not that they aren’t), to find people of a similar mindset, and definitely to get pornographic materials.  Other than that, I don’t know, and I’m not sure if any of the above are good or bad things.

Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.

Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy.  I’m trying more and more to keep a separation.  There’s no point in living in fantasies, not when there are many things in the real world which are wonderful.  But by the same token, fantasy is important too.  If I fantasize about someone other than Sveta, that doesn’t mean I love her any less.  It’s fantasy.  It’s healthy.  But it shouldn’t affect my real life.

Collections

ps asked me a question a while back, and I never got around to answering, and now it inspired this post.  I won’t be specifically answering his question, but he deserves attribution for the impulse.

I believe I mentioned a while back that I'm a bit of a hoarder, but in the digital realm mostly. I have to have series in their entirety. Even if I didn't like the last season of a TV show, I might buy the whole package so I can have it all. And I collect data. I have hundreds of books that I probably won't ever get the chance to read.  I have a lot of eBooks even though I don’t really like eBooks.  I have PDFs by the zillion.  And I have a lot of porn.  A lot.

My biggest porn collection is images. I just enjoy collecting them, like one might collect stamps or coins or postcards.  I think I may enjoy collecting them more than I enjoy looking at them.  It may spring from a time when I was in a situation where I didn’t have much internet access, so I had to hoard for the lean times.  Or maybe it’s just my OCD.  Yes, collecting is a form of OCD.

I don't collect videos as much, although I do collect links to them. And I can look at porn more than once. Maybe not repeatedly for a long period, but if I look at it, enjoy it, save it, and then come back to it later, I can enjoy it again.  My video collection is more of a functional thing; I will probably look at most of the links I collect eventually (although I’m always collecting more).

Basically, I have hang-ups.  Who doesn’t?

I used to go for hardcore porn in images, but lately I’ve been more interested in the kind of thing that you might see in FFF, or maybe just nude women.  I also like amateur stuff, the stuff that maybe isn’t much good, but somehow because it’s amateur it’s more “real” to me and so I enjoy it more.  My hardcore cravings I get out with videos.

And did I mention that I’ve started using Picasa to tag my picture collection.  Because secretly I want to be a librarian.

So yes, I have gigs and gigs of images that I’m probably never going to look at again.  And yes, that’s probably not healthy, per se.  But at least they’re not physical objects, and I’ve occasionally done a “Fuck it, I’m deleting everything!” purge.  I tossed a lot of stuff that I thought might get me into trouble at a certain point.  And there’s a part of me that hates that I get rid of things.  But what are you going to do?  Spring cleaning, that’s what it is.  Healthy, I guess.

Anyway, that’s my collection of words about collections.