News I Can't Decide Whether I'm Happy About

So Kate and Roger are getting a divorce.

I can't decide whether I'm happy or not.

I mean, yes I'm happy for her because she's told me everything that's going on and the marriage was utter shit.  And I don't like Roger.  Never really have, and as I've gotten to know him more and more I've liked him less and less.

Apparently they haven't had sex in months.  He insults her.  He refuses to try to save the marriage.  She tried really hard, but basically at the end he told her that he wasn't attracted to her any more and he wanted a divorce because he couldn't stand being with her.

So it's his fault, completely.  Which means he's going to pay.  Which I'm happy about, because if he's being a giant dick then he deserves what he gets.  Apparently he feels that he could get younger, cuter women to fuck him and doesn't want to be tied down.  I guess some of the open marriage stuff was her attempt to give him what he wanted, but he doesn't want her in the picture.

He moved out a few weeks ago, and the divorce will be final pretty soon.

I feel sorry for her, not because of the divorce but because of the situation.  I feel really sorry for Liam and Kevin.

I also feel a little responsible.  I probably shouldn't.  I also feel guilty because I could probably have been there more for her, but I've been so busy.  I could have been there more for her as a friend, but also as a lover, because she's definitely like me in that if she goes for too long without sex it's rough.  And I haven't been over there for that in ages.  And part of me thinks that, had I continued to be there sexually, maybe Roger might have been satisfied with it.  But that part is a stupid bitch, because the marriage wasn't worth saving.

I do feel bad for Liam and Kevin though.  It's rough on them, and Roger has been a dick to them too, basically saying she can have custody of them because he thinks they'll cramp his style.  Seriously.

So Kate wants to see me more often, to help her through it.  She wants help in plenty of ways.  I'll do what I can.  At least I won't have to deal with Roger any more.  Fuck that guy.  If he thinks he's going to go out and score pussy the grade he's been getting from Kate, let alone from anyone else Kate has introduced, then he's crazy, because he's shit in the sack and has the charisma of a dead slug.

Backstage Shenanigans When I Needed Them Most

So, because I'm an idiot, I agreed to do a little technical work on top of my job, which means no sleep for me.  But it's been nice to be back someplace I feel like I marginally belong.

But you're not here for that sort of thing.

So (she says again, starting over) being in the fly loft (which is a place above the stage where all the curtains are controlled, for those who aren't privy to theatrical parlance) means I get to see all kinds of fun things sometimes.  I'm professional.  I don't distract myself.  But if I'm doing a show which has a lot of down time, I can look down into the wings (the areas to the side of the stage) and see the backstage drama.

I've done shows where I've gotten to see, albeit from above, some very good looking people changing costumes.  And this show is no exception.  The lead is this cute girl, 20s, who has a very nice figure although she's got definite birthing hips.  But adorable.

And I also get to see backstage action which gives me insight into the show romances.  And again, this show is no exception.  The lead, let's call her Aria, and one of the other actors, let's call him Eric, have a thing goin' on.  It's pretty obvious.  They're always thick as thieves, and they may think they're being discreet but they aren't.  It's common knowledge.  But I didn't know just how serious it was until a few nights ago.

I was still up in the loft because there are 8 million children in this show and I can't deal with crowds of noisy kids.  The show was over, everyone seemingly had gone home, and I was preparing to do so myself, but had been sitting in the loft reading and waiting for the smoke to clear.  I was just about to come down the ladder when I heard the door open and heard voices.  Now, one thing that being in the theatre will teach you is to be able to hear low voices in an abandoned stage.  I recognized the voices as Aria and Eric, and decided I would just let them pass through on their way to the dressing room or whatever and then come down, because frankly I wasn't feeling like interacting with them.  Nice kids, but I wasn't really in the mood.

But then I heard her say, "I can't wait.  I want you right now."  Uh bwah?!

I looked over into the wing and she was there, in a ball gown costume from the show, they were making out pretty vigorously.  What's this?  A chance to be a peeping pervert?  Okay then.

I've always loved gowns.  I don't own any, shockingly, but I know where I can get them if I need them.  But one of the best ways to use a gown is to hike it up, and that's what she was doing.  She turned around and pulled up the back skirt and there were those healthy birthing hips.  Yummy.

He obviously thought so too, because he grabbed them, then pulled down her tights and panties.  She tried to object but he was already behind her with his face pressed into her ass.  Pretty sure he was going after her pussy, not rimming her.  The angle seemed lower.  Also, frankly, he didn't seem the type.  He's younger than she is, I'm almost positive, fresh-faced and cute himself.  But who knows?

She was standing there, leaning forward, no longer objecting, as he went to town on her for a few moments.  Then he got back up, unzipped his pants, and I could see a respectable cock for a few moments before he got behind her and pressed home, and they were fucking in the wings.

Shocked?  Not really.  I've done it before.  But I was a little shocked that they were doing it.  It seemed pretty risky.  After all, there were still some people in the building.  But the couple were in a place where they figured they couldn't be seen, and they kept it quiet.

It was sexy as hell.  Just raw and urgent.  He pulled the top of the gown down a little and supported her upper body with his hands on her tits, and she leaned forward and took him from behind like she was dying for it, which I guess she was.

And by god, desperate or not, he had stamina.  I don't know exactly how long they were fucking like that, but it had to have been five minutes at least.  Then he pulled back, letting her skirts drop over that delectable and well-fucked ass of hers,  and I got to see cock again.  Not shabby at all, even from a distance.  I was wet, and my hand was in my jeans doing a bit of rubbing.

Then, although I expected a climax to the show, so to speak, they shifted a little, she said softly, "Lie down," and he got on his back on the stage floor.  She hiked up her skirts again, although I couldn't see everything as nicely from the angle I was at, pulled her tights off one leg, and straddled him.  And they kept fucking, her on top, the gown draped over their middles but obviously obscuring his cock thrusting up into her cunt.  I don't know if she came, but she was enjoying herself, trying to keep quiet but gasping and low moans.

He got her top down completely and I got to see her breasts in profile, which was not something I was complaining about.  She rode him hard, not a lot of bouncing but with much gyration, and he hand his hands on her tits working away.  And thus it was for another few minutes.  Stamina, like I said.  If your quickies last this long, they stop being quickies.  But I wasn't complaining at all.

Finally he muttered, "I'm close," and she climbed off him with a bit of effort, then went down for the money shot.  But boy did she have to work for it.  She must have sucked him off for another minute at least, which, if that's "close" means she must be a very happy lady.  It was too far to see everything, but when he came in her mouth she swallowed, good girl, and gave him a little more attention to make sure no mess was made, then they adjusted themselves, kissed a bit more, and he said, "Okay, now you've got to wait until we get back."  And they went off together.  To one or the other of their places.  For what I can only imagine would be mind-blowing sex continued.  Lucky bastards.

Anyway, not really about me, but it was a fun thing to watch.  And now I can't help fantasizing about her every time I see her in that gown.

Call Me Daddy

Matthew wrote me asking a question I don't think I've ever been asked before, let alone covered in the blog.  So congratulations to Matthew for a NFAQ (Non-Frequently-Asked Question).

"Many girls enjoy a daddy/daughter dynamic with older men who are NOT their actual dads.  (And many men—this reader included—enjoy the inverse.)  I wonder if your experiences with your real dad has made it —well, weird—to call another man 'daddy' in the sack.  Or maybe it was never your thing to begin with (apart from the real deal).  Now that I think about it, I don’t recall many stories of you with older non-related men.  Hmm . . . Anyway, I was wondering if you ever got the request to play this out and, if so, your reaction was something like, 'Senator, you are decidedly NOT my daddy.'"

I have told a few stories about older men, and many stories of mine were with older men but the age gap didn't make it in for whatever reason.  I'm totally down with older men.  Don't mind 'em younger at all, but totally down with older men.  I think, if I had to give statistics, in balance my relations with men older than me would be a fairly large majority, with men being old enough to be, if not my dad, at least older enough that it would be a thing, being a decent portion of that.  I don't always talk about it not because I don't like it but because frequently it didn't matter much to the story.

I totally get off on being with an older man, old enough to be my dad.  Part of that is because I'm a freak, I guess, but part of it is that I love the daddy/daughter vibe, even when it isn't my dad.  And I will call a guy "daddy" in the sack if he wants me to.  I don't usually do it without asking because it's not always what people want or expect, plus while I get off on it I don't need to do it to get off.  But if the dynamic is skewing that way, I will scream "Daddy!" at the top of my lungs.

It's not weird for a few reasons.  Firstly, there are plenty of things that my Dad won't do, so if I'm doing that with another man, I'm totally fine with calling him Daddy because I would love to do it with my actual Dad but am unable, so it's like surrogacy.  It also doesn't have to be an older man.  I've called Mike, "Daddy" a few times, although some of those were when we were doing impregnation play and I wasn't so much calling him my daddy as I was calling him our baby's daddy.  Yes, I'm fucked up.  What're you gonna do?

Second, calling someone "Daddy" doesn't make them my father any more than fucking him.  Sex with people I love isn't special because it's sex, it's special because there's love there.  The sex is great, but it's all just icing on the cake of love.  So if I call someone "Daddy" I'm not saying they are my father or in any way a replacement for him.  It's just part of the sexy times.

Thirdly, Dad and I frequently call each other "Daddy" and "daughter" during sex for reasons other than familial love.  We both get off on it from a purely sexual standpoint.  I know Mom would like for all the family sex to be pure, I think, but Dad and I get nasty sometimes, and if, "Oh Daddy, fill your daughter's little cunny with your hot daddy spunk!" is what is getting us off that evening, that's got nothing to do with him being my father.  It's play.  We baby talk too while having sex.  I think I've said it before, but I believe that Dad would have liked to have taken his daughters' virginity sooner, given the chance.  He likes them young.  I know, it's sick and wrong and terrible and all that.  But sometimes nothing gets him hard like me cooing in his ear while stroking his cock about how, "Widdle baby daughter is gonna be spwit wide open by Daddy's big peepee."

So, with all that, absolutely will I call a man "Daddy" in the sack.  Sometimes it's just that, but sometimes it's full-on roleplay, where he calls me daughter too.  I have no problem with it, and it turns me on.

I have had a few instances where it came from his side; he started telling me to call him daddy or calling himself daddy.  Only once have I felt a bit squicked by that, and I was already feeling a bit squicked by the whole thing, so a little more wasn't going to matter.  That one was the father of a friend.

It was in college.  We were staying at her parents' house for a weekend or something, and she was a much earlier riser than I was, so I was just getting into the shower and thought that everyone was out.  But he came in, didn't say anything at first.  I figured, "Okay, so I guess in this family you can come into the bathroom when someone's in the shower, no biggie."  That was certainly the rule in my house.  He pissed, but he didn't leave.  Finally, he said, "Hey, Lexi, hope you don't mind," like there was anything I could do about it at this point.

"No, it's fine."

"I figured you wouldn't."  I wasn't sure what he meant by that.  "You college girls are probably used to sharing bathrooms with people all the time."

Okay.  "Yeah, I guess."

"Is your bathroom coed?"

He had to have known it was.

"Ever shower with someone else?"

"Yeah, I guess."  It was a little creepy, but he was just saying all of it in such a matter-of-fact tone, like he was just making conversation.

"Bet it isn't as nice a shower as where you are now."

"No, it's pretty tiny."

"Mind if I join you?"

I mean, I could have said, "No thanks," and left it at that.  But hell, what the fuck?  "Sure, why not."

I saw his silhouette through the curtain.  He had only been wearing shorts.  He dropped them and pulled back the curtain a little.  He wasn't bad to look at, reminded me a little of my dad, truth be told.  "Mr. Klein..."

"Call me Nick."

"Okay, Nick.  Um... what's going on?"

"Everyone else is out.  I figured you might like some company."

"What else?"

"Well, daddy's little girl could get daddy all cleaned up."  And just like that he busted out the daddy talk.  Again, I didn't feel threatened at all.  He wasn't touching me at all.  His tone was totally friendly.

"Okay daddy."  In for a penny, in for a pound.  I grabbed the soap.

"Daddy slept late, just like his little girl."  I was soaping him up and he put his hands on my hips and held them there, not gripping, just touching.

"Does Daddy want me to clean up his thingee?"

"Oh yes, baby, that would be wonderful."  So I started soaping his cock up, but after a few seconds, with him as hard as he was, juices were flowing on my end too.  I rinsed him off and started sucking.  He had a nice cock, graying pubes which were matted down by the water.  He was groaning like nobody's business from the word go.  When I stuffed his head down my throat, he gasped and pulled back a little, then unloaded a giant amount into my mouth.  Good girls swallow, so I did, and I wondered if that was that.

"Now let me get my baby rinsed off and Daddy's going to take his little girl to bed and make her a woman," he said.  Okay, sex was on then.

We retired to the master bedroom, where despite being on a hair trigger the first time, he left me completely satisfied by number two.  He kept calling me his little girl and when I got into it and started moaning "Daddy, daddy," over and over, things got really hot and heavy.  Not that cock in vag isn't hot and heavy, but hot and heavy enough that we went through several positions, then I said to him, "Daddy, stick your peepee in your little girl's little butt."

He pressed in and said, "Naughty naughty, wanting Daddy's big cock in your little asshole," and spanked me, which I'm not always into but totally was that day.  Then he came in my ass from behind, groaning, "Here it comes baby girl!"

I wanted more, but he seemed to totally switch off whatever it had been and said that my friend and her mother would be back soon, which was when I started thinking again and realized what I was doing.  "Um... Nick, what's going on?" I asked again, more seriously.

And he told me that he knew just the sort of women who went to my college and were friends with his daughter.  Which, I suppose, might be true, but he was still taking a huge risk.  Still, I wasn't going to say anything if he didn't.

That weekend was interesting.  I didn't feel guilty, exactly, but I felt like someone must have known something.  No one said a word.  And after the early risers went to bed, Nick and I stayed up and talked.  He told me he really wanted to fuck his daughter but could never bring himself to do it, but that he'd had flings with several of her friends.  I'm pretty sure he wasn't lying when he said I was the best, although that might have been because he whispered it to me as I was bobbing my ass up and down on his lap, his cock going in and out deliciously.

He wanted to know if I had done anything with her.  I told him I would if she'd been interested, but nothing had happened as yet.  As it turned out, nothing ever did; she was cute and I would happily have fucked her brains out, but we just stayed friends, and I didn't go after her at all because it wasn't like I needed to.

Nick and I had two more trysts before I left, one after everyone else was asleep, quietly, and one when my friend and her mother were out again and Nick could go back to being my daddy.  After the first time, I didn't give a damn, and since we didn't need to pussyfoot around, we spent all the available time fucking each other silly and roleplaying to the point where he called me his daughter's name and I didn't give a damn.

I don't know what happened to the marriage, or the family.  Maybe one day he got up his courage and broached the subject with his daughter.  Or maybe he just kept on having illicit flings with younger girls who reminded him of her.  Either way, probably not for the best, and I'm not totally proud of myself, but it was hot as hell and regrets are a luxury.

Anyway, hope that story and answer worked for you.  If you've got other questions, let me know via the usual channels.

School Days, Fool Days

Yes, I'm now stealing my blog titles from Squidbillies.

Peter writes, in a follow-up to the last post:

"What happened at school the next day?

...

I just wondered what your reputation/treatment was like at your school following your adventures."

It's  fair question to ask about many of my escapades, but after party promiscuity in high school in particular.

The thing was, I was not the popular girl in school.  I wasn't Catholic, which meant that pretty much everyone thought I must be worshiping Satan (this is true: I had a classmate ask me whether I worshiped Satan once because I wasn't Catholic).  I was a Jezebel even if I was demure and white as driven snow.

But it was complicated.  It pissed some people off.  The truly religious types who heard about it had usually already written me off, so it was just one more thing to add to the list.  But I was hardly the only girl in school who was a slut (and I use that term advisedly).  There were plenty of popular girls who were giving it away; the difference was that they were serial monogamists, rather than joyfully unfettered.  Quite a few poophole-loophole girls.  But also plenty of girls who would get drunk at parties (and they went to way, way more parties than I did) and wind up fucking the guy who would become their next "steady" at least until the next one came along.

It made me less popular among the girls, as a whole.  Some didn't care, and those were usually the people I hung around with.  But the popular, bitchy girls would try to slut-shame me a little, until it became apparent that I didn't give a damn and that I didn't really want to be part of their cliques anyway.  Which meant that they were just giving me free advertising.  I stole several guys from popular girls, but they didn't like me anyway.

It made me more popular with guys.  Yes, it's not the kind of popularity I should have been courting, and I wasn't really.  Because again, by the time I hit high school, I didn't give a shit about popularity.  I had friends, I had a few people who didn't like me, and most people just left me alone, which is what I wanted anyway.  But it did mean that I got propositioned more frequently.  Which, had I not been interested in being propositioned, would have been bad, but since I was, it was just fine.

I also don't want to sound like I would fuck anything on two legs.  Not at all.  I turned down plenty of guys.  It got me into trouble a few times, like if a guy came up to me and said, "Hey, I heard you let so and so fuck you in the ass on the last field trip; wanna let me stick it up your butt?"

"Not really."

"What, bitch, too good for me?"

And on from there.  Chances were good that I hadn't let so and so fuck me in the ass on the last field trip anyway (rumor becomes legend awfully quickly).  But some guys don't take no for an answer.  Fortunately I had support from friends and managed to make it out of high school without being actually raped, although I was certainly close a few times.  And there were a few times which might be considered rape, except I basically just took one for the team of not having to deal with this asshole any more.  Again, I'm not saying it was right or that anyone else should learn from my example here or otherwise.  But I view sex differently than a lot of people, I know, so to me, saying, "Fine, let's do this," even when I really didn't want to is more along the lines of not getting to pick which pizza topping we get and having to settle on pineapple.  I don't mean that to diminish rape in any way, but certainly at the time that's how I felt and it never really bothered me to throw what was basically a pity fuck their way, since they obviously weren't going to get it anywhere else.

Basically, it didn't affect me as much as it might because I didn't really care whether people thought I was a slut.  And being a slut wasn't keeping me from joining the country club because I didn't want to.  If that makes sense.

Looking back on it now, I would like to say that I would have done things differently.  It wasn't wise, from the standpoint of not being raped or not getting a terrible reputation.  And remember, I'm telling these stories about a fairly long stretch of time which, compressed, makes it seem like I was fucking every guy in school every day before lunch, when in fact I was still getting the vast majority of my lovin' at home.  Or outside of school.  Realistically, I might not even have been the sluttiest girl in school, just maybe less careful in hiding it or less caring that people knew.

But let's face it: I probably would have done the same thing, given what I know now.  I got to have plenty of good experiences, and a few bad, and that's life, right?

Of course, once I got to college it was totally different.  I went to a college which was about as far from Catholic school as you can get, and I was in no way the sluttiest girl there, probably by a long shot.  And no one really cared.  It was very liberating, in a way, because even if I had always felt that way, being around others who did was refreshing.  Walking in on people fucking in certain parts of the campus was no big deal at all.  Hooking up at a party was almost expected.  Not being monogamous, for both men and women, straight and gay, was perfectly fine.  No one really judged.  At the same time, there were plenty of people who didn't do that, and they didn't judge either, which was also nice.

Anyway, that's sort of a roundabout way of talking about it.  To answer the specific question, after that particular event as detailed in the last post when I fucked several guys at a party, I became slightly more popular with the group they were part of, "dated" one of that group (although strangely none of the guys with whom I had been that evening) for a little while, broke up the couple who barged in after (because of course I did) and really just kept on keeping on.  There was plenty going on at that party.  I'm pretty sure two drunk girls made out, which was the talk of the town the next day, showing you just how strange priorities were.  Four guys were fucking me at once, but two drunk chicks kissing was the headline.

Bang the Gong, Get It On

Okay, so we covered all the various permutations of threesomes at least cursorily, let's dive into my favorite sorts of action: the group that contains more than three people.

First off, I don't believe that a gangbang is really a gangbang unless it involves more than two guys.  I know, porn would sometimes have us believe that a gangbang is just two guys taking turns, but come on, that's just a MMF threesome with no DP.  I don't call it an orgy if it only involves four people, either.  I've got nothing against things that aren't gangbangs or orgies, but why devalue the terms.

I've told the story of my birthday gangbang, and frankly I've never had anything which was close to that as far as gangbangs were concerned.  After that many guys only concentrating on you, anything else is going to be small potatoes.  So I don't actively seek three-guy gangbangs, even if I'm happy to have three guys to myself.

I could split hairs.  A gangbang, for me, is one where there's one gal who's the center of the action.  I know that in many gangbang situations, there are other women to help out, but someone has to be the star of the show.  Also, a gangbang should, at its best, be somewhat serial in nature.  If there are only three guys, I can take care of all of them at once if necessary.  I'd like my gangbangs to involve too many guys to handle at once.  The traditionalist in me is even satisfied with one at a time in a line.  Sure, DP is great and sucking a cock while being fucked is great, but I can get that out of other things.  Part of the allure of a gangbang, for me, is that I'm being used by the line at the DMV.  I know many people don't feel that way, and that's totally fine.  And again, my opportunities for gangbangs of any kind have been limited.

I have some experience with three guys.  Sheri and I have been able to scrounge up three guys willing to fuck one or the other of us on a few occasions.  But it's not totally fair to the gal who isn't the center of attention, so on at least some of those occasions, it's wound up just being a general melee and that's totally fine.

When I was in high school, I got as close to organizing my own gangbang as I think I ever have.  Team spirit helps.  My high school didn't have a football team, so that cliche is out, but we had a basketball team and they had a JV squad.  I wasn't a cheerleader; the varsity guys got those.  Frankly, I was more in the league of the chess club.  I know, I seem like I should be Miss Popularity, but I wasn't.  Still, at a party I managed to talk four of the JV-est JVs into going to a quiet room and letting me suck their cocks.  Four is too many cocks for me to handle at once with my mouth, particularly if they're not interested in bumping together.

They were kind of drunk, so they weren't too self-conscious about pulling it out in front of their friends, plus I guess you see that kind of thing in the locker room.  But after a few minutes of round robin on the cock sucking, I said, "Hey, there's a bed; why don't one of you fuck me while I keep going with the other three?"  So the biggest man on campus in the group sat down and I pulled off my panties, let him clumsily paw at my ass for a few moments while pushing up my skirt, then sank down onto him.

He was all like, "Bro, she's so fucking wet right now," and they were all like, "Dude, I want to hit that too."  Or some such nonsense.  "Shit, I'm going to go off in a minute," he gasped right as I was just beginning to feel tingles.  So I hopped off, waggled my ass, gave it a smack, and bent over to suck him off, letting them fight over who was next.  The BMOC nutted in my mouth and I was being railed by another one, bigger and thicker, which made me cum, which made him pull out abruptly and pull my head over to take the shot, which pulled me out of my orgasm, which sucked.  But I just smiled, swallowed, then pulled off my shirt, lay back on the bed, and started fingering myself until one of the others got the hint and mounted me.

He lasted the longest, giving me a nice orgasm without breaking stride, though he did get all big-headed when he could tell he was making me cum.  I think there were high-fives.  He pulled out and the last guy popped in while he stuck his cock in my mouth to get finished off.  I don't know what the last guy was doing because I barely felt anything before he was out and wanting to cum in my mouth too.

And that was that.  They were pleased with themselves and went to go get another drink.  I was pleased with myself and lay there for a while stroking my pussy and wishing they had cum inside me.

And then a random guy and girl, both drunk, stumbled in on my nudity.  He said, "Oh shit, she's in here jerking off," and his girl started drunkenly laughing and saying I was a slut, but then she saw that he was just staring and started getting pissed at him.  He tried not to look, but come on.  The most he was likely to have gotten was a sloppy blowjob, and here was this girl lying on the bed, legs spread, looking well-fucked, who was playing with herself and didn't seem to give a damn what they were doing.  She stormed off.  He looked like he was torn.  I just said, "Room for one more," and licked my fingers, and he was inside me quicker than a cat up a tree.

He was too drunk to control himself, so he came inside me and then said, "Fuck, I've got to go find her," or something slurry, and stumbled off.  And I went back to playing with myself until I had a nice O, then seeing as no one else had stumbled in, I cleaned up a little, put my clothes back together, and left.

Gangbang?  Yeah, I guess so.  Enjoyable?  Sure.  Could have been better, but I really shouldn't complain.

Other than that, I've had a few foursomes with three guys in my life.  I've been triple-teamed by Mike, Uncle Sam, and Dad.  I've been in bigger groups where three guys were paying attention to me at a time.  But as far as actual gangbangs go, it's just a matter of logistics.  When I hit some milestone birthday, maybe I'll get another as a present.  But they're tough to organize.

Okay, that's all for gangbangs, unless you've got questions.  Maybe next, I'll talk about coed groups.

Smuggling Dildos Addendum

I forgot all about one of my best dildo-smuggling stories.  Well, in this case it was a buttplug smuggling story, but it's all the same to me.

At a certain point, Mike and I were experimenting with a little D/s play.  I wouldn't even call it that.  Basically, I got into being his sex slave.  Not his regular slave, and he didn't do much of anything other than sex me up good whenever he wanted, but I agreed to be his sex slave.

It started out around the house; we were fucking and he started ordering me around and I enjoyed it.  It was just positions he wanted me in, or things he wanted me to do to him or myself.  But we both enjoyed it, so it became that I was basically at his beck and call as far as sex was concerned.  He was still pretty new to it and was needing to get his rocks off frequently, so he would pop into the room, snap his fingers, and I had to drop everything and give him whatever he asked for.

That started slow too.  At first he would just come in and ask me to get him off.  But then we progressed to him wanting me ready for him whenever, so I had to wear a skirt with no panties at all times.  I think he enjoyed interrupting me.  Mom and Dad just sighed and let us do what we were going to do, even if it meant that we would be eating dinner and he would give me a look and I would go over and suck his cock under the table while he kept eating.

But then he started wanting more.  I spent most of a day reading in his bed because he said he wanted me there, and every hour or so he would come in, I would get on my hands and knees, and he would fill me.  I don't want this to seem like he was abusing the relationship; I was getting plenty out of it.

Then he started interrupting me when I was on the phone.  I would be talking to one of my friends bent over the table or the bed while Mike quietly did his business inside me.  God, that was hot as shit.  And then he started interrupting me while I was with my friends.  He would stick his head around the door and nod at me, and I would have to make up some excuse like needing to use the bathroom, and we'd have a quickie.  Again, so fucking hot.  I was dripping wet every time I expected it.

He had graduated to anal by this point, so we did plenty of that too.  Usually to start he wanted my pussy, but after a few times, when it was getting a bit harder to keep hard, he'd switch to the back door, as it were.  And I was loving it.  He wouldn't let me clean up after him either, so I had to go back to my friends with cum inside me.  Again, this might all sound creepy, but we both got off immensely.

Then he wanted me at school.  Risky business.  He couldn't exactly pull me out of class, and we were in different grades, but come lunch time, we'd sneak off.  Most of the time it was just oral because we couldn't afford to get caught, but he still wanted me to wear no panties under my skirt, and we had a few close calls where someone came by just around the corner and we had to keep very still and quiet, hoping they wouldn't come around and find him with his cock deep inside me, still thrusting slowly away, my cunt dripping.  He liked to tease me, try to get me to moan at the worst times.  I'm sure if my parents knew about it, they would have killed us, because frankly, while it was a huge rush then, it was basically like we were drunk driving a stolen cop car at that point if anyone had found out.

At some point during this last phase, where the only thing he wasn't doing was coming into my classroom and dropping his pants and demanding that I suck him off in the middle of my class, he lit on the idea of a butt plug.  In this case, the idea was that I would have one in all day, except when he wanted to fuck me, then he would cum in my ass and then plug me back up, keeping all that hot sloshing cum up in there all day.

We started in the morning; I raised my ass as high as I could and he pressed in and filled me up, then popped in the plug and we went to school.  At lunch, I sneaked him into the girls' bathroom and he checked everything, then I sucked him almost to completion so fucking wouldn't cause any of the previous load to come out, then he pressed the head into my ass and let loose another load, then plugged me up again.  I could feel it a little after that.  Then we had planned ahead and both had a free moment closer to the end of the day, and he popped another load in, then we went home and I stayed ass in the air while he deposited two more loads, then he plugged me up until close to bedtime.

Then we both went to the bathroom and pulled out the plug and I felt what seemed like a cup of spunk drool out of my ass into the toilet.  I'm not into scat, but that was sexy.  And then, because not everything is sexy, kids, I had to take a mammoth shit after not doing so all day.

I don't know why we stopped; I guess we just moved on to different things.  Mike started being able to get his needs filled by people outside the family a bit more, but it wasn't like he and I never fucked again.  We just moved on from that bit of domination play.  At least until we got interested in impregnation play, which I think I've talked about and was a whole other story.

Religion

I promise, I'm not going to take sides.  I honestly don't care.  Do what works for you.  I think a lot of people don't do what works for them, and more people (although the Venn Diagram here overlaps) don't understand that "what works for you" necessarily includes your relationships with your fellow humans.  But I'm not going to talk about that, or tell you you're wrong.

Peter Princip, via email, was kind enough to ask me two questions, both related to religion.  So here goes.

"The question is this, is there any religion in your history?  Just to make it fun (in case the answer is "not really") any stories about fucking religious people?"

First thing's first: my family isn't terribly religious.  My mother's parents were, which was part of the whole thing there, so she turned her back on religion completely (again, the whole, "what works for you" but doesn't work for your children because it makes you be an utter cock-monster to them thing).  My father grew up in a part of the world where you went to church on Sunday or everyone thought you were the devil.  But he became much more crunchy granola about it pretty quickly.

So no, we weren't religious growing up.  That said, my parents were of the opinion that, if you live in the world, it's a good idea to know some of the shared mythology, so I know Bible stories (particularly the salacious ones; Lot and his daughters was my favorite growing up for some reason) but I also know stuff about Islam and Hinduism and Buddhism and Judaism.  We had good friends growing up who were various religions, and I've been to Passover and meditated and all kinds of fun stuff.

Basically, I'm all about the fun stuff.  I even think the Mass in Latin is fun stuff.  I've always wanted to go to a Russian Orthodox service still done in Old High Slavonic.  And my family is a little spiritual.  We hold hands before meals sometimes, and if my uncle and aunt are visiting we do a blessing, or if someone else is eating with us we do what they want to do.  We're pretty chill.

But I also went to Catholic school for years.  So I was steeped in the traditions, such as they are, of post-Vatican-II Catholicism, which I find more sad than anything else because it's so meh.  I don't particularly like Catholicism, but at least they were, at a certain point, kind of dogmatic about things.  But American Catholicism these days is just kind of blah.  No real passion there.  I'd much rather go to a Baptist revival (and have) because the music is better.  I'm not at all being racist here: the black congregation in our town was just a better congregation, as far as being a visitor was concerned.  Very friendly, very loving, very musical, and totally bigoted and horrible when it came to beliefs.  Mormons are great people too, except again, I can't at all get behind their religious beliefs.

That's my religious background.

Now the second, more fun, part of the questions.

Have I ever had fun with religious folks?  Sure.  Most of the time it doesn't come up, so I don't have a tally.  Mostly Christians, if I had to venture a guess.  Let me assure you, religion is no barrier to wanting to fuck me.  I've been with "happily" married evangelicals, I was with a Mormon couple on several occasions (they were really terrible in the sack to start, but very nice people), and I think at least one Muslim, Buddhist, and Hindu, although the Buddhist was more of a philosophical Buddhist, so it wasn't like I was fucking a Thai Buddhist monk or anything.  A few fairly radical atheists, but they kept that out of the bedroom.

But I imagine what you'd actually like to hear about is men of the cloth, of various persuasions.  And being ordained by the Universal Life Church on the Internet doesn't count.  I pretty much have one story there.

When I was in high school, we had to take religion class.  It was a Catholic school, after all.  And that was mostly just catechism.  But we'd have seminarians come in to be guest teachers sometimes.  Seminarians, for those of you who don't know, are priests in training at the seminary.

There was one seminarian, let's call him Henry, who was just dreamy.  I know I'm not the only girl in the class (and maybe there were guys too, but they kept very quiet about it for understandable reasons) who thought he was hot.  He was young, dusty blond, looked like he might be built under his priest uniform (they don't wear cassocks any more, unfortunately, or I would have had all kinds of fantasies about crawling up under there and... well, anyway, I would have had more of them), and good looking in the parts I could see.

Let me insert here that I felt it my sacred duty as a heathen to make life miserable for my religion teachers.  I once argued with a seminarian (not Henry) for most of class that there was no such thing as eternal truth, just because I got him going about it.  I was just being a dick about it.  He said that universal truth was like gravity, so I had him picking up a pencil and dropping it over and over again to continue to prove gravity would make it fall, until I finally said, "If you can keep doing that every instant of time from now until the end of time, then I'll believe gravity is a universal truth."  And I don't even believe that.  But I was screwing with him.  Not proud of it, not sorry for it either.  I was young and stuck in religion class.

Anyway, I decided that the best way to screw with Henry's fragile pre-priesthood was to flirt with him as much as possible.  If he had been Indiana Jones, I would have written things on my eyelids.  Basically, I just eye-fucked him every chance I got, licked my lips, hiked my skirt, that kind of thing.

Let me also insert here that I've since hung out with very cool seminarians, come to really appreciate what they believe and so forth, and let me tell you, many, many priests are not pure as the driven snow.  They can drink me under the table, tell the dirtiest jokes, and frequently have led extremely interesting lives before coming to their calling, and they still believe hard and want to be priests and are good people.

But Henry was pure.  He was young, just out of college, and he had no idea what to do with me.  He tried ignoring me, he tried teaching me, he tried everything he could think of.  Had he come to me after class and invited me into the closet, I might have jumped his bones, or maybe I would have been a good person.  But it was definitely screwing with his lizard brain.  I'm not saying I was catching him with wood in his black priest slacks, but he was definitely flustered.

And then one day, he stopped being our sub.  Nothing was said.  It wasn't remarkable; seminarians came and went, some graduated, some went to other schools, some left.  I figured he'd probably just gone to another school or something, but I liked to think that I'd driven him screaming from our class with my feminine wiles.  What can I say?  I was young and stupid.

Then, several years later, I ran into him in his civvies in the grocery store, and he came up to me and said, "Hey Lexi, you probably don't remember me, but it's Henry, the seminarian."  Or rather ex-seminarian.  Because he'd left the priesthood.  And being older and, if not wiser, at least less of a dick, I felt really guilty about that when he said I was responsible.  But he said I shouldn't feel guilty.

He said he'd left our class because he couldn't deal with his feelings about me.  Not love or anything, but he realized he was definitely attracted to me.  So he tried confessing that, like you do if you're Catholic, but eventually he realized that he'd also felt the same way about other women, and likely would again, and that God didn't want him to be a priest.  So I'm a messenger from God?  No, not really.  He just realized that his calling wasn't celibacy.  He also realized that it was kind of silly for him, a virgin who had never really experienced much of anything in life, to give something up when he didn't really know what he was giving up.  So he told his superiors, and to their credit (this is, in fact, how it's supposed to work; you're not supposed to become a priest if you don't feel called to it) they said, "Go with God and do what God wants you to do with your life."

And then he had sex, and it was great, and he realized that yeah, he wasn't going to give that up.  Nor was he interested in getting married to do it.  He stayed Catholic (why, I'm not sure; premarital sex is a pretty big no-no) but he got a job helping people (I won't say what, but it was legit) which is why he'd wanted to go into the priesthood in the first place.

Blah blah blah, all of that isn't why you're here.  We talked for what seemed like forever about it, then he said he'd like to keep talking but maybe the dairy aisle of the grocery store wasn't the place, so we went and got dinner and he told me the rest, and we talked about it, and then it segued into him telling me I was still so gorgeous and he had thought about me often and I said, "Well, there's nothing stopping us now," and we got the check and went back to his apartment.

And he was nicely put together under his clothes, as I had suspected.  He liked when I told him how I thought about him in class.  He laughed when I said I wished he'd worn a cassock.  So much foreplay.  It was great.  He had clearly gotten experience on his journey, because he made me cum so hard on his fingers and tongue.  And when I moaned, "Oh Father Henry," he, to his credit, was totally okay with that.  And we started talking dirty Catholic.

"Bless me Father, for I am going to sin all over you."

"My child, sin again, sin again."

And at that point I still remembered a lot more Catholic than I do now.  I don't want you to think this was serious; we were giggling the entire time.  He laughed out loud when I started saying the Hail Mary as I slipped his cock into me.  We gave it up after that and just concentrated on sex.  When I told him to cum inside me, that I was on the pill, he mockingly waggled his finger at me and said something about Mother Church saying it was a sin, but he totally came inside me anyway.

The nice thing about it was that he didn't just roll off and lie back.  He couldn't get enough of me.  He had his hands all over me and his tongue and lips on my nipples, and he got hard again in a hurry.  Before he pressed in for the second time, he looked down at me and said, "God, I wish we'd done this after class."

"Yeah, me too.  You were the sexiest seminarian ever."

I didn't cum before he finished inside me again, but he pulled out when he was done and then kept working on me until I did.  Then we were finally finished.  Overall, he would have been wasted on the priesthood.

I think he was interested in something more serious, but I wasn't, so we left it at that.  I still see him on Facebook, and he's still doing God's work in the way I'm pretty sure God wants.  So in the balance, I'm happy how it worked out.  I imagine he's made plenty of women very happy.

Other than that, I've never really fucked an actual man of the cloth.  I totally would though.  Sexy times.  But hopefully that was a fun enough story to excuse my lack of experience in this department.  I've had sex in churches, just never with the priest.

Anyway, thanks for the questions Peter, and everyone, keep them coming because I'm happy to answer them.  If I teased anything you'd like to hear more about, let me know.

Two Ladies

Shout out to Cabaret!

Okay, so having covered some thoughts on MMF threesomes, let's dive into another sort.  I don't have any experience with MMM threesomes (although I'd be happy to learn, not sure how other than watching one) and I've talked about FFF threesomes in the recent past.  So before I move on to larger groups (if I do; requests welcome) I'll tackle every guy's favorite situation.

Only it isn't.  I've talked with numerous guys for whom it wasn't a huge turn-on, either because they didn't want to share, because they weren't into it for whatever reason, or because they were worried about satisfying two girls.

Let's address those.  Firstly, if you're not okay with sharing, that's totally fine.  Whether you're sharing your partner with another man or another woman, some people can't do it.  And that's totally okay.  This is a no judgment zone.

Secondly, if you're worried about satisfying two girls at the same time.... that's probably a decent worry.  In a lot of FFM threesomes, it's on the guy to do the heavy lifting.  And I'm afraid that guys have some disadvantages there.  I can happily fuck two or more guys to completion, but a guy has only so many orgasms to give out.  So if your partners are both looking for you to cum for them, that can be difficult.

The way around that is to give the ladies what they want in other ways.  If foreplay is important when it's just a guy and his lady friend, then it's more than doubly important when there are two armies at the gates, as it were.  I've been with guys who only came once the entire threesome, but they got me and my lady partner off multiple times.  Sure, it's nice to get two, but I wasn't complaining.

But as I did with the previous post, let's just run down some of the computations.  First off, there's the fantasy: "I just want to watch you two fuck each other, then maybe, if I'm lucky, get to join in."  Lesbians or girls who express any tendency toward being down with another lady hear that all the fucking time.  Usually it's just watching.

And you know what?  It doesn't have to be creepy.  If all three of us are willing, I've got no problem with the guy wanting to enjoy the two ladies pleasuring each other.  Don't be a dick about it.  Don't ask people who are not into you to let you watch.  But if all parties are inclined, I've cheerfully let a guy watch me and a special lady friend in our amorous embraces and been totally fine with that.  It can be a turn-on.  Situations vary; I've had very few good times that way just being out with a girl and meeting a guy who wants to watch.  But if, say, that girl is your sister and you want to watch me fuck her brains out but aren't yet enlightened enough to join in, no big deal.  I get off on that, and you and she probably do too.

If you and your lady friend are looking for a partner for her to experiment with, hey, I'm down with that as well.  If you want to watch, I can totally see why.  I've been with women who were with their boyfriends (or husbands, on a few occasions) when we met, but after the negotiations were concluded, the man left and let us get to business.  On at least a few of those occasions, the lady would go back and tell the man all about it, so it was a bit of a cuckolding situation.  Sometimes it was something she was into, he wasn't really, but he was being supportive.  I get off a little on being with someone else's partner (because I'm a freak) so I was fine with that.

More frequently, if it's that kind of setup, we all three go back to whatever place we go back to, and the guy watches us.  It's like a performance, sometimes.  That can be trouble if the lady is shy.  I was with one couple where it became clear, after a while, that the guy was making the girl do this.  It wasn't that she wasn't into me, just that he was definitely calling the shots.  He started ordering her around, telling her to do various things.  Not terribly sexy if it hasn't been cleared with everyone beforehand.  Kate and her husband can get like that sometimes.  I know what to expect there, but unexpected long-distance domination of the partner I'm trying to get off is a turn-off for me.

But most of the time, it's just fine.  Sometimes the guy just watches.  Sometimes he pulls out his dick and masturbates.  I don't usually pay much attention after a point.  But sometimes, if the guy gets naked and is moving closer, I'll encourage him to join in.  And that's when we get the fun stuff.

Between committed partners, I've been basically a sex toy.  I remember one married couple, the guy much older than me, the woman probably older by a few years, where the deal was that the wife and I would get to play as much as we wanted, but he only fucked her.  I support boundaries, but lines get blurred, and I did wind up cleaning him off and getting him hard again, and he came in my mouth the second time.  But nothing in the pussy.  That was the deal.  I can work around that.

I've also been with a couple where it was the opposite: he could fuck me all the way, but she wasn't interested in anything but watching us and playing with him.  Again, lines got blurred and she did wind up sucking my tits while he fucked me, and she ate his cum off of my belly when he pulled out, but no kissing and I didn't really touch her.

I suppose I should have put in sooner that sometimes there's a "FFM" where it's the woman watching her man fuck me.  Fewer of those, but it happens sometimes.  I was with this very nice couple in college (well, I was in college and they were both on staff) where the woman was basically disinterested in sex, so she decided to let him have the sex he needed with other people, but she wanted to be there so it was like she was fucking him in spirit.  I remember they kissed a lot while he was inside me.  She stayed fully clothed and by his side the whole time.  You might think that was weird, but we had gotten to know each other beforehand.  It wasn't a random hookup.  I'd actually gotten to know her first, and we'd talked over drinks a few times about sex, and she finally asked me if I was interested in joining them, which I was, so I got to know him a little and they told me what the score was.  And I was down.

Sometimes arrangements go bad.  I'm not proud of myself sometimes.  He started seeing me without her, telling me that they'd decided that he had to get his alone.  And she seemed like that was okay at first, but then she got really jealous of me and told me she didn't want me to see him any more by myself, but he kept wanting to see me and saying she'd changed her mind again, and finally I had to tell her what was going on behind her back.  She got super pissed at me and we never really talked again.  And... well, I kept being his avenue to cheat on her, and they finally separated.  I think he was interested in something serious with me, but I wasn't interested in that, so he got pissed at me too and that was that.  Bridge thoroughly burned.

Moving on from that somewhat unpleasant experience (I mean, the sex was great though) there's times when it's me and a girlfriend (Gwen and I did this a lot) picking up a guy.  Or when a couple picks me up and they're both interested in all of it.  Either way, that's when we come to a guy really having to satisfy two girls, and that can be rough.  But often it's not.  There's something extremely sexy about being next to another woman while a guy swaps his cock from one to the other.  Or having a girl eat you out while a guy's cock is in you, pussy or ass, it's all good.  Or getting to suck a cock right out of another gal's pussy.

I guess, rather than going through a whole list of things which make an FFM work, I'll just say that if the guy is willing to try to give both gals pleasure, that counts for a lot.  Maybe one of you gets more penetration time, but it doesn't have to be a clinical calculation.  It's heat of the moment stuff.  Hell, I'm happy to tag along with a couple where all I really get to do is be the third pleasure wheel.  I've been with couples who were mostly fucking each other but where there were no lines to cross and I got plenty out of it.

I've walked in on couples more times than I can count.  At home it was pretty common, particularly when Sheri was still living at home.  That's not even counting walking in on Mike or Dad and one of the ladies of the family.  I've gotten more secondary action from Sheri's momentary conquests than anyone else, I think.  It's usually easier to pull off if the guy doesn't know we're related, but sometimes that doesn't matter either.  I mean, there are a lot of men out there who may not be into incest but are totally into fucking two sisters at the same time.

And there's my college years with Gwen, of course.  We had a special system which has never, every been copied: she'd hang something on the doorknob when she was in flagrante in our room, and I'd do the same (yeah, weren't we original).  But after we got to know each other better, that stopped happening as often, and I would walk in to Gwen fucking some guy a lot.  And if there was nothing on the knob and they were in there doing the deed, I'd come in and watch and join in if I cared to and the guy was okay with it, which most were.  Ditto for the reverse.  If you walk in and join, you're supposed to, by rule of honor, take a back seat to the gal who got the guy in the first place, but a few times that didn't happen.  I remember once, Gwen saw me come in, hopped off the guy, said, "Oh good, I'm glad you're here; I've got to take a break."  The guy started to get up, but Gwen just said, "Lexi is going to finish you up," and wrapped herself in a towel and headed for the bathroom while I stripped down and hopped on his cock like we were doing that bit from The Honeymooners.  "Mornin' Sam.  Mornin' Ralph."  Clock punched, time to go to work.  He was huge and I could understand why she needed a break.  Not really a threesome, I suppose, but it got me off.

And lastly, before I finish up this particular topic, there are times when you walk in on complete strangers and they invite you to join.  Rara avis, that one.  I was working somewhere, don't remember where, and I went into a back room to get something and there were two people I knew vaguely but had never really talked with that much going at it against a wall.  I think the guy was an actor and the girl was in props or costumes or something.  It was a party, I think, after hours, or after normal hours because theatre life has no hours.  I think I'd left the main party to do something work-related in the darker areas of the theater.  But she gasped, "Oh god, come here, he's so hot," or something like that, so I said, "Okee dokee," and came over and got drunken kisses from the cute prop girl.

He pulled out of her and I got on my knees immediately because he had a nice cock, not enormous but just pretty.  Cut, thick, veiny, with a big head and a shaft long enough that it tickled the tonsils when I deepthroated him.  They were both pretty drunk.  Not falling-down drunk, but drunk enough that they both instantly thought it was a great idea to have me join them.  Pretty soon she had my pants and panties down, my shirt up, and was sucking my tits like there was no tomorrow while I sucked his cock and he fingered her.  Then he pulled me up and pressed into me against the wall.  It had been a long day, so it was very nice to be filled like that.  They were kissing, then she basically pulled all of us down so my head was between her legs and he was fucking me from behind on all fours, and it was pretty hot and heavy from then on out.

We each got a load, separated by some very nice drunken girl-on-girl, and then we excused ourselves to go back to whatever we were doing.  But when I came back a few minutes later, they were back, or at least I thought they were back, until I realized that no, it was the cute prop girl, but the guy was a different guy, another cute actor.  What a whore she was, and I was loving it, because she called me over again and we had two FFMs in the same night.

So there's some random stuff about FFMs.  Drop me a request or a question and I'll write more.  I can be specific, if there's a story I've teased in one of these ramblings which piques your interest.

Tag Teams

@DehuddRyan has asked (see, I respond) for some ruminations on group action, and while I could fill books with that kind of thing, I'm going to break out a few things I've been thinking about.  Firstly, the cherished and far too rare MMF.

Most guys aren't comfortable with the MMF.  I know, shocker.  Well, actually, I wish it weren't that way.  But for many guys, the threesome is exclusively the FFM.  Two chicks, one dick, and then he doesn't have to see another guy naked.  Which is sad.  No one's asking you to go gay, guys, although for whatever reason it's perfectly acceptable for a guy to ask two gals to lez out at the drop of a hat.

But I don't ask my multiple male partners to make out with each other while I sit and watch.  I mean, if they want to, I'm totally down, but I usually have other things in mind.  So no worries if you happen to be out with a friend and I approach you.  I'm not going to make you blur boundaries.

More that that, though, even guys who are comfortable sharing are often uncomfortable sharing in a way which might lead to accidental contact of skin with another guy.  It's just the world we live in.  So many of my MMF experiences have been of a strictly, or at least largely, tag-team variety.  I get DP pretty infrequently.  And I get it; it's too much like you're fucking another guy.  And I also know that a lot of good guys are squicked out by it and I'm not judging (well, much).

The bottom of the pole, as it were, is the strictly tag team.  And that's fine and dandy with me.  I prefer partner swapping if there are others involved, like say another girl and we swap guys, and that's happened plenty of times.  Some men are too shy to even have sex in the same room as another couple, so I'll take what I can get.  But if it's just me and two guys, and one is just sitting by the sidelines waiting his turn, well, I'd like about fourteen more guys on the sideline too and turn it into a gangbang.  I'm old-school: a gangbang isn't a gangbang unless there are more than two guys involved.

It's okay though.  I remember once, meeting two guys and finding them completely okay with the idea of sharing, but then when we got back to their hotel room finding that they were going to argue for what seemed like forever about who was going to get sloppy seconds while I sat there feeling awkward.  Finally I said, "Look, why don't we play it by ear?" and then pulled both their cocks out and worked on them in tandem until they forgot they were arguing and wound up sharing me in more ways than I think they planned.

I've also been with guys who were clearly alpha and beta dogs.  It's not always the same though.  You might expect the alpha to go first, but oddly enough, frequently the alpha will be giving the beta a gift or something, and he'll be like, "Okay, show my bro a good time."  Nowadays I would probably think long and hard about that, but in my youth, I was down.  I remember at least once where one guy basically sat back and jerked off while watching his friend fuck me seventeen ways to Sunday, then let me finish him in my mouth.  To each his own.  Maybe he liked watching but didn't want to admit it.

Then there's the constant swap.  That's not two guys at the same time, necessarily, but it takes a bit more comfort with each other.  There might be blowjobs that go back and forth, and then one guy fucks me for a while, the other hops in, then they swap back out.  That, to me, is the true tag-team.  I even fucked two guys while we were all just having a great time, laughing and telling jokes, and at a certain point it became a joke for them to tag each other in when they would swap.

Then there's some more involvement on both sides.  Maybe I give them head together, and then I keep sucking one while the other plows me.  And I'm totally fine with that, although depending on the skill of the guy fucking me the blowjob the other guy gets might be sub-par.  Still, if he gets a turn in my pussy or ass after they switch out, it's just prep work in my mouth anyway.

There are plenty of permutations.  I've sat in a guy's lap while blowing his friend, I've been spitroasted many times (and even Eiffel Towered a few in my college days when I would fuck people who thought that was a good idea), and although it's not my thing I've sucked balls and given a rimjob while on my back being pounded.  As long as I'm between the two of them, it's not gay, like The Lonely Island has pointed out.

Then there's the ever-elusive DP.  I've been with a few pairs who clearly had it on their minds from the get-go, including two guys who straight up asked me if I was interested in it while we were still in the negotiation stage before we even got to the locale where the act would take place.  Sometimes it happens organically, like if we're all enjoying ourselves in a semi-involved way and, while I'm riding one guy, I invite the other to hop in there.  I've had a few rejections.  Sometimes I can tell that they're not comfortable with it, sometimes anal isn't on the table, but sometimes even if they haven't seemed like they were comfortable with it I've offered anyway because the only way to find out is to ask and they were too shy to admit it.  And sometimes that works.  I remember one pair who seemed totally shy around each other, but once juices got flowing and I was reverse cowgirl on one partner with his cock in my ass, I said to the other guy, "You want to stick that big cock in my pussy?" and he grinned sheepishly and then came and did it, by God.  Props to trying things outside your comfort zone.

If I can swing it, I try to get the guy who seems less interested under me before I ask.  That way he has things on his mind and is in less of a position to argue.  I'm not saying I force anyone, and I've had a few partners who, even underneath me, their cocks buried in what I can assure you is a very enticing pussy, say, "Hey, wait, I don't want his dick touching me," when I offered.  One guy even pushed me off of him and got all defensive about how I was trying to make him gay.  What can I say?  I was less discriminating than I should have been there.  He got his clothes on, still spouting bullshit, and left, and I figured his friend would leave too, but his friend kept apologizing for the asshole and I said, "Hey honey, it's not your fault," and we would up having a very nice rest of the evening together.

I have to say, I enjoy two guys who are totally comfortable with each other the best.  That doesn't mean they necessarily do anything more than share me, no DP, but if they're not either shy or awkwardly trying to one-up the other because they're scared they're not as good as the other, that's usually for the best.  I've had a few very good experiences with guys who were down for whatever happened and weren't afraid of each other.  That's the only times I've ever had DP in more exciting ways than me sandwiched, either cowgirl or reverse, one cock in pussy, one in ass.

When I was younger and more limber, I had standing DP with two guys.  One held me up with his hands under my knees while the other straight up reamed my asshole.  I won't say it was the best; I think somewhat more vanilla DP gives a lot more opportunities for pleasure and less risk.  But I enjoyed it.  Then I hopped off and flipped around and we switched for a moment until the previous holder took me from the other guy again, facing away from him, his cock in my ass, and let his friend fuck my pussy with the same force.  I came so hard that I popped his cock out of my ass and he came all over my butt.

I've also had double vaginal, but never double anal.  Double vag is tough.  I'm tight (not bragging; most women are too tight for it to be easy) and the second guy kept popping out.  It was a bit like taking the biggest dildo I've ever had.  There was some discomfort.  But the feeling of fullness you get from being stuffed like that is hard to beat, even if it is a little uncomfortable at first.

And lastly, there's that rare Sasquatch peeking around a tree, the duo who are so comfortable that they'll play with each other.  I've had bi guys in pairs, and that's fucking awesome.  I've told some of those stories.  But I've also had guys who weren't bi when they took their clothes off, but got really comfortable and started exploring.  Usually it's just kissing or touching.  I had two of the most stereotypical bros in the world jerk each other off onto my tits once.  I may have goaded them on a bit, but they were into it after a few seconds.  I like to be between a pair of guys and notice them looking at each other lustfully, not at me.  Like I said, I'm not going to just sit back and let them make out while I watch, but it's fun to be sandwiched and then have the two guys start kissing and stroking each other while they fuck me proper.

To skip back to the beginning, the polar opposite of that I've had once too.  I went back to a hotel with two guys once, and as soon as I started making out with one, the other said, "Okay, call me when you're done," and I thought I was going to lose one partner for the evening.  But lo and behold, as soon as my current paramour had finished, he stuck his head out the door and called the other guy in, who, with no prompting or introduction, pulled off his clothes and entered me while I was still lying back basking in the afterglow.  Which would have been odd enough, but they kept swapping like that.  I think they each came inside me three times, one after the other, one guy always in the other room.  I think the first guy waited in the hall, but after that, they waited in the bathroom until the other finished.  And at first it felt a little odd, but then I started to get into it.  It was kind of clinical and anonymous (which was helped by the fact that I didn't know these guys at all).  And I can get off on that.

Next time, continuing the theme, I'll talk some more about groups maybe.  But questions and requests are still welcome on Twitter, email, or in the comments.  Don't make Ryan do all the heavy lifting.

Smuggling Dildos

I used to be a regular sex-toy smuggler.  I haven't done as much of it recently, for various reasons, but in my prime I would sneak dildos and plugs into all kinds of places.  Sometimes it was a dare, but often it was just something I wanted to do.

I think it's a bit like comfort food.  Feeling full is comforting to me.  Usually the only things which were terribly distracting were vibes, but I didn't do that often and usually on dares.  Trying to sit still in a lecture or on a bus with a vibe going to town on your nethers is not comforting.  It can be excruciating.  I remember one teacher asked me if I was feeling okay after I came for the second time in his class.  I said I was feeling a little feverish.  Hence the flush.  He didn't press the issue.

But a lot of times, I would just put a dildo up my snatch before going to school in the morning.  It's important to wear panties when you do that, because sometimes things can slip out otherwise.  I had a pink dil, only about five inches and bumpy, which was my favorite.  It had a base so it would sit right up against my labia when I had it in, and I would just slip in in, put on my panties, then wear a skirt.  It's hard to hide the bulge in pants, at least not tight ones.

And then I would just feel nicely filled all day.  I could grind down on it a little to get a tickle, but mostly it was just present.  It helped with PMS cramps too, sometimes.

I remember at least once almost forgetting I was "wearing" it until I was getting hot and heavy with someone and he put a hand in my panties and thought I was a tranny.  I laughed and told him it was just keeping his place.  He wanted to see me pull it out, so I bent over and let him pull it out himself.  Then he started playing with me with it.  I had to take it out after because my muscles were too worked out to deal with it in, so it sat in my backpack the rest of the day.

After a while I graduated to butt plugs.  Those are easier to keep in, but less comfortable to sit with.  I tried one in the pink and one in the stink a few times, but that was hard to concentrate with.  I kept having to go to the bathroom to rub one out because the pressure between the two was intense.  But if I were out and about, it was easier to walk with a plug in my ass than a dildo in my pussy, so I might go for the former.  Plus, if I'm thinking I might get lucky that day, I could just leave the plug in and have a bunch more fun.

Gwen, my college roomie, bought us an egg vibe on a cord which strapped to the inner thigh.  She kept daring me to wear it to classes, and I did a few times.  That was easier to hide, but I kept soaking through my panties and the crotch of my jeans.  Only dark colors for that.  Although once she made me wear it out with shorts in exchange for something, I don't really remember what.  A few people saw the control strapped to my thigh.  They probably knew what was going on.

Swimming is another fun place to sneak a dildo.  It makes it easier to get off underwater.  I remember the first time I did that; I was much too young to be doing anything like that and yet I went to the pool with one inside me, put on my suit, and tried to look inconspicuous.  Once you're in the water it's fine, but getting in and out makes it much more obvious.  I think people assumed I was wearing a diaper or something and didn't say anything.  Or maybe they were looking on lasciviously.  I certainly would have.

Car trips are best with a little vibrating friend.  If you've got no company, that is.  I rode several hours in the back of my friend's parents' car with a vibe in.  Again, much too young for it to be even mildly appropriate.  I had mastered, at that point, the art of cumming without making a scene, so I just sat there and came over and over again.  When we got to the hotel and were safely in our room with the parents gone, my friend wanted to know what was going on, so I showed her.  She was enthralled and just watched as I got myself off again, then tucked it away in my bag.  We didn't do anything sexual that trip, but every night she wanted to watch me play with myself and the vibe.

Once, and only once, I let my sister talk me into sneaking the biggest dildo we had into school.  It didn't fit.  I had to sit weird and I kept having to sneak a hand down to keep it inside me.  Finally, when I was standing up after first period, it almost slipped out and I had to clench and run to the bathroom so I didn't start dropping rubber cocks on the floor.

And I think I've told this story, but I've also worn a double dildo in both holes to class.  That was tough.  It was like I had hemorrhoids.  I couldn't sit down.  I had to basically lean against the back of the chair and keep myself up.  Every time I let my ass slip down, the pressure was so intense I almost came.  Nobody said anything.  But I got back at Gwen for that one by making her do it too, and she said she almost died.

Yeah, I'm wicked.  Questions?  Twitter, email, or comments.  I'm waiting.

Ushering

Sheri's answers made me think of my own experiences with ushering boys into men.  Or something like that.  I figured I'd just ramble on about that for a while.

The worst virgin I ever had was still better than the worst sex I've ever had.  I don't hold it against virgins, even if they've got some experience in other arenas.  Usually they're so eager that's it's tough to be good.  I'm speaking of guys exclusively here; gals are a different matter.

I've had more than one premature ejaculation, which is why I usually warm things up orally first, because once the rocks are off to start, they usually have more staying power the second time.  But sometimes you want that first spurt to be inside you, and it doesn't work out.  I had a boy cum in his pants just kissing me once.  It was awkward for him, but I just shrugged it off.

I think that's the key to properly introduce a virgin to sex: you've got to be generous.  It's not necessarily going to be the longest or the greatest, but it's an honor, at least as far as I'm concerned.  I compliment and give pointers.  As I've gotten older, I've gotten better at it.  When I was younger, the virgins were thicker on the ground and they were usually a bit more selfish too, for some reason.

Taking a guy's virginity has a different feel when you're roughly the same age.  Even when I was pretty experienced, there were still plenty of partners who'd never done it before, and sometimes they wouldn't tell me, but you can sort of tell.  I'm not saying you can always tell, and sometimes it's hard to say whether they're really virgins or just have only done it once and probably with someone who had no idea what they were doing either.  These days, the few I've had have been either more willing to admit it or have come to me specifically because of it.

And there's absolutely not shame in virginity.  Really.  Whether you're saving yourself for marriage or just haven't had the opportunity or just haven't felt like it, there's no shame there.  A lot of people feel ashamed of it but I think it's often more shame about something else.  I mean, if you've wanted to have sex but no one has accepted your offer, you start to wonder if something's wrong with you.  Or you might be ashamed of breaking whatever vow you've made to stay a virgin.  But you shouldn't feel ashamed of being a virgin.  Whether you're 13 or 43, sex is fun, but it's not all there is in life, and not having had sex, even if you've masturbated millions of times, isn't shameful.

I've had a few virgins who were breaking promises.  I find that, frequently, those promises were promises they made because they felt they had to, not because they really wanted to.  Parents, schools, religion, and even just society seem to make it out that virgins are pure and people who have sex are sullied in some way.  So just as there's no shame in being a virgin, so too there's no shame in losing your virginity.

I've been happy to offer myself as a way for virgins to switch from one state to the other.  I'll do it again, I'm sure.  I'll probably be ancient and still available for virgins, if they'll have me.  But it doesn't make you a man to have sex either.  It's this social rite of passage, but that's silly.  Sex is something you do because it's fun or you love someone or for various other reasons including procreation.  But being a man (or a woman, although I'm not really talking about them here) is how you act, not what parts of you have contacted what parts of another person.

I've been the first girl for a few gay guys.  Maybe I should say bi guys.  Some of them were bi, and cheerfully had sex with both women and men, but some were just curious, had sex with me, and then went back to having sex with men.  Curiosity is healthy.

Let's see... the oldest virgin I've ever had was in his thirties, I believe.  But maybe that was just the greatest difference in ages.  He was deeply ashamed of it.  It twisted him up inside.  I felt more like a therapist than anything else.  I'm not sure how much I helped him, because he was convinced that he was terrible in bed, kept apologizing.  I think, although I'm not sure, that part of the reason he was still a virgin when I met him was that he wasn't attracted to women his own age.  Which is also kind of sad.  I feel for people who are only attracted to things they can't have.  Yes, this means I have sympathy for pedophiles.  There are a fair number of them living among us, and most of them would never hurt a fly.  It's just how they're wired.  I'm not defending them doing anything about their urges, but it must be difficult to be that way.

Some tips for any virgins in the audience:

Grateful is great, but don't feel like you have to overdo it.  Even if I were doing you a favor (and I'm not always; sometimes I just want to get laid and you happened to be a virgin) you don't have to be any more grateful than you should be if anyone has sex with you at any time.

Express your gratitude in actions, not words.  Telling me you're grateful is fine, I guess, but even better is being a considerate lover.

If you can't last, there are other things we can do.  It doesn't have to be a one-time thing.  Sex is more than just pumping for five seconds, rolling over, and going to sleep.  I'm not saying that to shame you either.  I'm saying that because if you can't last, lots of the other stuff can be a whole lot of fun too.  Enjoy yourself.  Don't be in a hurry to lose it.

This is a tip for everyone, but listen to your partner.  If she (or he) knows you're a virgin, hopefully she'll tell you what to do a bit more than normal.

Sure, getting your dick wet the first time is great.  But what's even better is making someone else happy sexually for the first time.  That's why sex is better than masturbation.  Getting yourself off is something you've probably done before, but getting another person off... that'll make you feel like a million bucks.

Porn lies.  I love porn, but don't believe it for a moment.  Real sex isn't like that.  It's way, way better.  Being surrounded by a living, warm, wet, breathing human... yeah, there's no shame in going off too soon if all you've ever done is stroke your cock with your hand.  I don't have a cock, but the first time I stuck my finger in a pussy, you can bet I knew that a real pussy is different.

Some tips for anyone who finds themselves deflowering someone:

Slowly.  They may want to rush, but slow it down.  Make it an experience, not just a moment.  That's really the best thing you can do.

Get naked with them.  Sure, the back of a car or an alley or a dark closet is sexy, but the first time, maybe try to do it up proper.

Don't worry about them being quick on the draw.  Again, this is addressed to those who are making a boy a man.  If a gal is quick on the draw, that's great and keep going.  But if a male virgin goes off too soon, like I was saying to them, there's always round two.

Don't be surprised if they can't get off.  This is an odd one, but it's true: sometimes the nerves and the buildup are so much that even the most hot-to-trot virgin can't keep it up.  Keep at it.  Explore other things.  Make them feel good, even if you can't get them off.  They'll remember their first time inside you whether it was orgasmic or not, I promise, if you make it good for them.

And lastly, you should be grateful too.  They're giving you a gift.  Yes, there's too much baggage on that gift, but even without it, they've picked you to be their first.  And that's special.

Yeah, that's about it.  Any questions?  I'm on Twitter, email, and I would be on Facebook were it not for the fact that Facebook is a wretched hive of scum and villainy.  Please, drop me a line.  I'm dying to answer questions.

Sheri Q and A

Got a request on Twitter from @RyanHuddleston1.  You can totally talk to me on Twitter, guys.  It's amazing.  Not Twitter; Twitter is kind of silly.  But it's amazing that I actually pay attention to what people are saying to me on Twitter.  Something like that.

He asked for some Sheri stories... which I don't have prepared because I can't think of any worth telling right now.  So instead, I fired up the ol' IM (or whatever you kids are calling it these days) and asked her a few questions, hoping it might spark some recollections.  And then I lightly edited her answers and munged things around and so forth, and now, here, for the first time on television, Sheri answers some questions that I could think to ask.

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#1 - What's your favorite position?

Don't make me choose.  Okay, fine, doggie.  You mean with only one guy, right, because I can't think of the names of positions for three.  Or four.  But I really like doggie.  It's got a lot going for it.  It's easy to spank my ass.  He can switch to fucking my ass easily if he wants.  It hits good places in my cunt.  I don't have to look him in the eye if I don't really like him.  Kidding.  Mostly.

#2 - What kind of porn are you watching lately?

Been on a throat-fucking kick recently.  I don't like it that much when I do it, but watching those girls gag is sexy as hell.  Better if she's getting railed by another guy and they're fucking both ends really hard.  But that's just recently.  I'm cosmopolitan.

#3 - Who was the last guy you fucked?

This will hopefully be out of date by the time you post it, but a few days ago I had a gorgeous blond boy.  Very ripped, very stupid, but just so damn pretty.  Home from college, bless his heart.  I saw him chasing some chippies unsuccessfully and suggested that he'd have an easier time with me.  Those chippies didn't know what they were missing.  I blew him in an alley, but he lasted longer than I thought he would, so we went back to my place because I wasn't going to waste him on my mouth.  Once in the cunt, twice in the ass, I was walking funny the next day at work.  I might see him again.  So dumb though.  So very dumb.  Not one to keep, but I'll keep having a bit of fun with him while it lasts.

#4 - How about the ladies?

Trish. [Lexi note: Trish is my sister's coworker/lover.  Nothing serious; my sister doesn't get serious.  But they're a regular thing.] In the supply closet, actually.  We do it on breaks so it's not like anyone can complain.  I keep a double dil in my locker for us.  Last time was nothing special though.  We both were worked up and she whispered to me, "Supply closet in five," and we went.  No time for anything but a quick grope and gasp.  I think people could smell cunt-juice on us, but it's a shitty job and I don't give a fuck what they think.

#5 - Most interesting recent partner?

Shit, put me on the spot.  Okay, I was a guy's first a few months back.  Son of a friend.  She wanted him to get his dick wet before he was out of her house and she couldn't keep him safe.  As far as I know, there's nothing going on there like us [Lexi's note: she means incest] but he's a shy kid, real momma's boy, never dated, not many friends.  She wanted him to learn a few things.  I mean, you've been there too.  They're divorced and he doesn't have a strong father figure in his life.

She wanted it to be at her house.  I asked her if she was going to watch, which spooked her a little.  I said I was just kidding, I'd do it, blah blah blah.  I know the kid a little, I've met him before.  So I went over for dinner, then mommy said she had to run some errands and would he entertain me.  It took a while to get him to talk to me, but I just laid it straight out: "Your mom wants you to become a man in the privacy of your own home with someone who's going to help you out.  She's cool with it.  Might help you when you get to college."

He might have been shy but his eyes lit up.  Once I told him what the score was, he wanted to know if he could kiss me.  Hell yeah, kid, kiss away.  You can do other stuff too.  I told him we'd take it as slow as he liked, then we went up to the spare room because he didn't want me to see his room.  I think he's embarrassed of his furnishings or something.  Or he didn't want to get jizz all over his own bed.

I helped him take my clothes off, lay back, and told him he could touch or kiss or lick whatever he wanted.  He was in his undies and I could see the tent.  He liked playing with my tits a lot, liked sucking on them more.  But he really liked kissing me.  Sweet kid.  After a bit, I said I was going to suck him off, just to take the edge off, and he was fine with that too.  He didn't last long in my mouth but I told him that was fine, that now that he wasn't nervous we could keep going.

Then he asked me if I wanted him to lick me.  Sweet kid, like I said.  I said, "Hell yes little man."  No, I didn't say that, I was very respectful and gentle.  But I said I'd show him around, then gave him some lessons on pleasing a lady.  I told him that even if he was pretty quick on the draw, he could make it up to his lady by making sure she got hers, and the best way to do that is by going down town.  I think he was scared of it at first, but once he got to see the show, he liked making me moan.  I think he'll do all right with the coeds.

Then, God bless youth, he was hard again and I told him it was the big moment, let him choose how he wanted me.  He went with missionary.  Totally respectable choice, since it meant he got to see everything.  I helped him slip his cock into me and then told him that he needed to go slow with girls unless they said different, and I was saying different, so he could be as hard as he liked.

He was still gentle.  I had to help out with a finger or two until he got the rhythm.  He popped out once or twice, but come on, it was his first time.  When he almost jammed it in my ass I laughed and said that I didn't mind that but most girls would, so he needed to be careful.  His eyes got wide when I said I didn't mind, but he didn't do anything about it.

He lasted a respectable time, not long enough for me to cum but longer than in my mouth.  He gasped that he was going to cum and I just wrapped my legs around him and kept him there until he shot into me.  He liked that too.

Then we talked.  Told him some other useful stuff about sex.  Then we heard his mom come home and he was ready to run away, but I just yelled down to her that we were fine and she should make herself scarce.  I don't know. She could have been listening at the keyhole.  I think he's got a little kinky in him because once she said, "Okay, have fun," his cock jumped again and I told him to get ready for another.  Sucked him back hard, then when he asked if I wanted some of the same I said, "No hun, this is for you not me," and lay back again.  But he surprised me, asked me if I would do it from behind, and then when he was sitting back there, eyeing my butt, asked me sheepishly what I meant when I said I didn't mind.  He knew very well what I meant.  The kid's got internet.

I said, "Okay, I said you could do anything and it was for you."  So I helped him into my ass.  He was in hog heaven.  "Only with me," I said as I helped him in.  "Most girls need a lot more convincing."  Even after cumming two times before, my ass didn't let him last long, and he spent right into my butt with a cute little grunt.

He looked pretty worn out after that, so we talked a little bit more and then I pulled on some clothes to find mommy, told her he was a man and he'd done well, and was about to excuse myself when he came down and asked his mom, his mom if you can believe it, if I could stay the night.  She looked at me.  I shrugged.

We watched a movie, but halfway through I could see him eyeing me, so I whispered to his mom that he still had some needs, and she blushed a little.  I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into.  That's why she really should have taken responsibility for it herself.  But whatever.  He and I went back upstairs and I stripped down and told him to have at it.  He said, "I liked your butt, but I really want to kiss you some more while we do it."  So we fucked face to face again.  When I came, he was worried for a minute until I told him I was cumming, then he was pleased as punch.  I praised him a bit too much maybe.  He was getting off on getting me off.  But there are worse things.

He finished up after a while, then we finished the movie, then we went to bed.  I thought he might sleep with me, but he went to his own room and I got the wet bed to myself.  Whatever.  But after a few hours, he woke me up by sliding in next to me and said he didn't want his mom to know.  I told him she probably knew, but he said she was asleep.

We started out in clothes but that didn't last long.  He asked me if he could go down on me again.  Yeah, like I'm going to say no.  I came all over his face.  Then we just kind of made out for a while.  He wasn't a bad kisser, just timid.  I showed him a thing or two.  He just loved kissing me while holding my tits.

He couldn't stay hard though, and I said that was fine.  It had been a long day.  He looked sad until I told him I would make sure to get up early next morning.  Then he sneaked back to his room.  Wouldn't you know it, way too damn early he was back, sun just barely up above the hills, said his mom was still asleep and could I do it again.  I said yes.  What was I going to say?

His mom walked in on us as he was balls-deep in my cunt, hands full of tits, legs up over his shoulders.  She just took one look, blushed, and closed the door.  Breakfast was a bit awkward.  Nobody really said much.  I excused myself, although he followed me to the door like a puppy and kissed me like he was afraid it was the last time he was ever going to kiss anyone.

And then mommy didn't speak to me for a week.  I think she was pissed I corrupted him.  Serves her right for asking me.

I'd do him again.  Once the nerves wore off, he wasn't a bad lay, plus the thrill of doing it with his mom downstairs knowing what was happening.  Plus he was eager to eat me out.  I think if he can get over the first nerves, he's going to make those coeds really happy.

#6 - Worst sex recently?

I was drunk, he was drunk, he came all over my ass as he was trying to put it in, then he got really drunk defensive about it and we didn't go again.  He kicked me out and I left my panties in his bedroom.  I guess that counts as "sex" but it never got inside me and I got nothing out of it and lost a nice pair of panties.  But you know me.  I've lost more panties in strange places...

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Okay, that's all for now.  But if you've got questions you'd like to hear from Sheri, or Mike, or Sveta, or me, you can email me or comment or tweet.  Seriously.  If you ask a specific question I'll try to get the answer for you.  Or if you want me to ask these same questions of someone else, I can do that too.  You've got to ask.