TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I'm assuming based on the phrasing that I'd have to pick someone who's alive.  And baring certain people whom I would have over for dinner so I could poison them (I don't care if I got caught either; I'd do it for the good of the world, and no I wouldn't because I'd have moral issues, but I'm eliminating this option so who cares), and also assuming that this would be a totally one-time thing and I couldn't use it as a way to get them to marry or fuck me (and also eliminating anyone I'd only want to have dinner with if I could force them to tell me things they'd never tell me), I think I'd like to have dinner with Wallace Shawn and pick his brain about dramatic theory.  I'd have dinner with Andre himself, but I think Wallace Shawn would be more interesting company.  I'm totally serious.  If I could, I'd have dinner with both of them.  But I came within spitting distance of actually getting to meet Wallace Shawn at one point anyway (there's a story there but I can't tell it for fear of revealing too much about myself) and I'd like to have dinner with him and talk shop.

2. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

A gymnastics team sky-dives into my front lawn with a suitcase full of money and I can only keep it after I make them all cum.  I don't know.  What is "perfect?"  A perfect day for me right now would be a day free of anxiety and stress and with my favorite people with me.  A suitcase full of money would definitely help the former, and if I can invite friends to help me make those gymnasts cum, I could handle the latter.

3. How much do you like your personality?
(pick just one)

a. A lot.
b. A little.
c. It needs work.
d. I am annoying sometimes.
e. I am difficult, and people have told me so.

What options.  The last two seem like they're more about what I think other people think about my personality, and you don't want to ask me that because I'm mentally ill so obviously I think everyone hates me.  I'm not happy with myself.  I'm mentally ill.  I'm sure there are aspects of my personality which could use work, and others which are charming and wonderful, and I bet if you asked any two random people I know they wouldn't agree on which parts were which.  I honestly don't spend a whole lot of time rating my own personality.  I have bigger fish to fry.  I'm unlikely to win any contests, I guess, but I think my personality is livable.

4. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Ooh, this is a better question in a weird-question kinda way.  It seems like a bit of a bet, because I've known people who were completely lucid and fine past ninety, and others who got dementia when they were 45.  And I hate how my aging body is breaking down already, so I can't imagine I'd be super-happy about being a 30 year old mind trapped in a useless corpse of a body (not that all 90 year old people are useless corpses, just that I'm not sure I wouldn't be).  I value my mind.  I do.  So I might pick that.

But if you remain mentally a 30 year old, does that mean you don't gain the wisdom of aging?  If we're just talking pure health, then my brain isn't in great shape anyway, and my 30 year old body (I'm not 30, I'm thinking back a few years, or maybe I'm really 23 and always will be because a lady can be whatever age she wants) wasn't all that great either, already creaking and decrepit.  But pure health-wise, halting any deterioration at the 30 benchmark would make me think that I'd prefer to be a 30 year old mind in an aging body than the other way around.

Okay, never mind, the question got boring.  Yes, I'd probably rather have my mental faculties intact than preserve my physical form.  My parents don't do too badly for themselves as aging sex-pots, so I won't let a little gray hair stop me from fooling around.  90 year olds still fuck.  You don't like thinking about it, but oh my God Florida is an orgy of flapping boobs and graying pubes.  Seriously.  The epidemic of sexually-transmitted diseases among retirees is worrying people.

5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any ability, what would it be?

Are we talking super-powers?  Because I'd like to be able to levitate.  Not fly, just levitate.  But I'd also like telekinesis, or that X-Man's super-power of being able to split himself into multiple people.  All of these things are probably boring but useful to me.

But if we're talking abilities I could conceivably learn and just haven't, while I'd love to be able to gain fluency in a foreign language, I think I'd really like to suddenly be a musical virtuoso.  If I've got to pick an instrument, while guitar is tempting, I'm going with the piano.  I don't even have to become a classical musician.  I'd like to be able to play sheet music reasonably well, but I'd also like to be able to play boogie woogie piano, please.

Bonus: How do you think you will die?

Rationally, either cancer or heart trouble of some sort.  Maybe diabetes.  All of these things are genetically disposed in me.  Also, car accident is likely enough.  I'd say based on statistics that cancer is probably going to get me if something catastrophic doesn't get me first.

Irrationally, suicide.  Or suicide by some other method.  I'll stop caring and let something kill me even if I'm not killing myself.  That's not pretty to hear, but in dark times, it seems more likely.  Don't get worried; I'm not suicidal at all.  But it could come to that, I suppose.

If I get to choose, I want to go out while being gangbanged to the best orgasm of my life.  My pleasure gets too great and I achieve apotheosis and ascend directly to orgasm heaven, where choirs of angels with giant cocks fuck me for eternity.  I don't know.  Something painless and brief please.