TMI Sexy Times

Nobody asked these questions but they might have, right?

Have you ever had a threesome? What was the configuration?

I mean, I've had a few. The only configuration of threesome I personally have never had is the MMM threesome, but I've watched.

In a threesome, do you like to be the star attraction or a bit player/personal  assistant?

It really depends on my mood. I usually like to be the attraction, but sometimes it's not about me. Sometimes the pressure of being the star is too much, or you're doing a favor for someone, or you're a bit tired, or the couple you're with has rules.

I guess I could break this down more: if it's an MMF threesome, I generally want to be the center of attention unless it's a really rara avis and the two Ms are Fing (rimshot). The only exceptions to that might be educational MMFs, where I'm still sort of the center of attention but I'm showing the two guys around. I'm also fine with being the center of attention in sequence rather than in tandem: in other words, if one guy gets his and then steps back to allow the other guy to get his, that's fine, even if the guy not partaking currently is doing something else. Is that really an MMF threesome? Sure, why not.

In an FFM threesome, I'm totally fine with being second banana, so to speak. If I'm out to get mine and I get it, I don't particularly care how. I've found myself in plenty of situations where it was a couple and the girl was feeling adventurous, so I got to be the center of her attention while her male partner fucked her, for instance. If I get off from someone's licking, even if cock doesn't touch me, I can be okay with that, though it's less fun than a full-on sharing experience.

With FFF threesomes, I don't mind being one of three equals, or being the most experienced lesbian in the room, or whatever form it takes. Sorry guys, girls are more fun in some ways. I can get mine without being in the spotlight, but then so can many ladies, which means we don't tend to care as much about where the spotlight falls, if there's a spotlight at all.

And all bets are off if, as I said, I'm throwing someone else a party. If the center of attention is the birthday boy, girl, or person, that's part of the arrangement beforehand and I don't particularly care how it goes for me after that. I shouldn't say I'm doing a favor. I should just say that in that circumstance, it ain't about me, and that's fine.

Would you have another threesome?

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

Rate your last  threesome on a scale of 1-5, 5 being fantastic.

Amusingly, I had a hard time thinking of my last threesome. It was probably with Zoe, and thus it was probably just fine, a solid 4. To make it to 5, I think it would have to be something extraordinary, and I can't think of the last time I had a truly extraordinary threesome, but that's okay.

Is your sex life more fantasy or reality?

It's more reality now, I think. During the more locked-down periods of the last year or so, it's still been plenty real, but I fantasized a lot. A lot. Not that I have anything against Sveta. She knows it's not that.

If you could hook-up with a past lover (with no repercussions or regret), who would it be and why?

It used to be that I would have given my right arm to hook up with one particular someone in my past because even though it was absolutely no good for me, I still loved him madly. But I find myself not feeling that way as much anymore. Also, I'm not sure I wanted to just hook up with him. It's for the best that I can't.

So now I'm thinking I'd like to hook up with my Aunt Jenny because I miss her. There was no fine print which said we couldn't have a nice leisurely fuck while chatting. Even if I wasn't allowed to ask about the hereafter, I'd still like to have a nice chat with her. She would like to hear about the wedding, I think.

You can only indulge in one of the following sex acts for the rest of your life, which would you choose to enjoy?
a. oral sex, only giving
b. 69
c. oral sex, only receiving
d. mutual masturbation

This is a tough one because if I say what I think is probably my instant reaction I'll seem selfish. Yes, I could happily only ever receive head for the rest of my life, if those four options were the only ones. But then I think, rule-bender than I am, that mutual masturbation could involve toys, and anyway, what is a double dil but mutual masturbation taken to its logical conclusion? Okay, so if we're being by-the-book here, mutual masturbation might still win because I'm not at heart a selfish person and I find 69ing to be something of a hassle a lot of times because things don't line up right. Also, what kind of 69 doesn't involve some hands? I guess I'll go with 69 and bend the rules ridiculously. I don't know. This is like the opposite of Sophie's Choice. No cock, ever again? That's rough. But 69 would at least let me do most of what I want to do to most people.

With each lover do you pay attention to what they want or do you have a repertoire that you stick to when having sex?

I'd be lying if I said I always pay attention to exactly what my partner wants, but that's often because I have a pretty decent repertoire and a lot of people don't know what they want in bed, not really. If it's a hard and fast type thing, I have a bag of tricks and I'll play them until I find one which sticks to the wall, so to speak. But if it's good lovin' I like to be given pointers, and I know enough about the various acts involved that, for most folks, I can take a pointer and run with it. If you don't pay any attention at all to what your partner is reacting positively to, you'll never keep getting them to react positively.

Do you initiate sex for healthful benefits, e.g., to sleep better or relieve pain?

Sure, although more often than not I just rub one out to give me a few endorphins. Sex is a nice way to sleep better, when it works. Orgasms help my mental health.

Do you understand the clitoris?

Does anyone? Seriously. Does anyone really understand the clitoris? We know fuck all about the male sex organs as far as pleasure is concerned, so of course we know sweet fuck all about female pleasure. I think the people I respect in the field of sexology are the first to admit that they don't know enough.

That said, I understand my own clitoris well enough to treat her right when necessity strikes. That's about the level of anyone's understanding, I think. I don't know. I'm open to hearing opinions on the subject.

TMI Personal Stuff

If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)?

While I've never had a partner who was open about this with me, if they had been I would be okay with trying it out. I'm not a great Domme but I can play one on TV, and I'm open to what my partner wants to try. It's not something that I find particularly appealing just to think about, and I don't have any fantasies about it; my fantasies, at least recently, have been tending toward being submissive and I've never really found the idea of forcing a guy to act girly to be sexy. But again, if my partner was into it, I'd at least give it a try, particularly if there was some quid pro quo involved.

I think it would also matter what my partner was good at in bed. Like, if a guy was an amazing carpet-cleaner, I would totally make him my lipstick lesbian, but if he was lousy at shaking the bushes I might hesitate. Not that I wouldn't do it, but I'd probably get less out of it. Of course, that's assuming that the only time I'd get anything out of the situation would be during the situation. I have no experience, and maybe the sex is super good after you force feminize a guy. I imagine it depends on the guy.

All that said, I think I'd be much more open to the idea with another woman. Like, if she were more butch but secretly harbored a desire to be a bit submissive and femme, I could probably get behind that, as it were. It hasn't happened so I don't know if it's at all common.

Receiving... I'm reasonably femme and I don't know how it would work for me, but I can get off on being a subby slut sometimes, so sure, I'd try it for a partner who was interested, of any gender.

When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?

A little. I know that fantasy is fantasy, but delving into the darker corners of my psyche always worries me with what I might come up with. I pride myself on being fairly liberated and combating bigotry, but occasionally something super problematic turns my crank, and that's worrisome too. I guess I would happily work on it with a therapist but most of my fantasies stem from some aspect of reality and much of my reality is the sort of thing which therapists are legally required to disclose to the authorities.

Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology?

I think technology, along with pop culture, might make us assume that the amount of sex we're having is less than the norm when in fact it's not. Also, being able to satisfy a fetish, either through pornography or by finding a like-minded individual, is greatly simplified by technology. Hell, I remember back in the dawn of time when you were lucky to find porn at all, let alone porn of some niche interest. Finding a community of people who share your turn-ons has been made easier by technology too.

Describe your fantasy life in three words.

Nasty, brutish, and short.

No, only kidding, but I couldn't resist. Lately, I'd say bestial, fierce, and submissive.

If you were an ice-cream flavor, what would you be and why?

Bad pecan praline, because when you taste me you get the impression that there could have been more nuts in me, but the cream level is still okay.

What? You tell me what I should have said.

What are the best sexy skills you bring to a sexual relationship?

Mad oral skillz, yo. And actually I'm pretty good at riding a gal with a double dil, but that's practice practice practice.

What is the single largest problem causing you angst in your romantic relationship?

Money. It's always money.

What is the best part about being in a relationship with you?

I would love to be novel and interesting here, but I really think it might be the sex. I put out like a hooker on shoreleave and I flatter myself that I'm a pretty good fuck.

What is the biggest misconception that people have about you?

Might be a tie between, "She only ever thinks about sex," and, "She's not at all shy." I do think about sex a fair amount, I guess, but you only get the sexy parts of my thinking, so it seems like it's nothing but. And I'm super introverted and don't make friends easily. I know, I know. I don't seem like the type, but I totally am. You'd probably never know I was me if you met me.

When you look at old photos of yourself, do you like what you see?

No, because I don't like any photos of myself. Sorry, that's just the facts.

What was your biggest worry five years ago, do you still have that same worry or feel the same about it at this minute?

Money, and yes, always.

Do you have a positive or negative body image? What factors contribute to your self body image?

Negative, more now than before because I've not kept myself up in quarantine. Also... I'm going to be 40 in a shockingly short time, and thus I am ancient and no one will ever love me. The factors that contribute to this are pop culture endlessly spamming everyone with unattainable fitness and appearance goals, frankly. And my rational mind knows this, but humans ain't rational honey.

How confident are you as a person?

When I'm in a wheelhouse, reasonably confident, though imposter syndrome is a thing. Sexually, once we're to the point where we're past the formal introductions, I'm pretty confident in my abilities and in myself. I'm not confident at all in new situations though. Goes back to that shy thing again.

How creative a person are you? Why?

I flatter myself that some days I can be decently creative. I find myself in ruts far too often for me to say more than that. Why? Because my mom drank when she was pregnant with me? What the hell kind of question is that? I have no idea why I'm creative, any more than anyone else does.

My mother did not drink when she was pregnant with me. That was a joke. Don't drink when pregnant.

Do you resent things being uncertain and unpredictable? Why?

I'm not sure I resent it, but I don't know that I enjoy too much uncertainty. Unpredictability can be refreshing occasionally, and if it's safe unpredictability, I can dig it sometimes. Uncertainty is stressful though, so it really needs to be in a low-stress way. Like, if my friends decided to kidnap me and take me to a restaurant I'd never heard of, that's fun and exciting. Ordering food I've never had before is something I do constantly; in fact, I try not to order the same thing twice when there are options. But uncertainty about finances (yep, money again) or how people feel about me, or what's happening with a job or a relationship, or whether the world is going to come to an end, that's not so fun. That's more existential uncertainty.

By the same token, I'm not sure I'd want to know exactly how my life was going to play out. If predestination is a thing and someone invents a way to see the future, I'm not sure I'd participate, unless it was to see the winning lottery numbers or something.

TMI Random Questions

Who was your favorite cartoon character as a child?

Ariel from The Little Mermaid maybe. She's a redhead and cute, so little me probably looked up to her.

What makes you cry?

All sorts of things, unfortunately. Everything from sad things to happy things. Cute things. I cry too much.

What similarity between you and your significant other do you love?

Our taste in humor is pretty similar. And we both have similar bedroom techniques, though that's at least partially because I taught her everything I know and she's improved on it.

What characteristic do you admire in others that you feel you are lacking?

The ability to focus.

If you could eliminate one thing from your daily schedule, what would it be?

All the wasted time because I can't focus.

You can trade places with one person for a day, who would it be?

Someone who is on a tropical island, or someone who has a bunch of money which I could use for my own nefarious purposes.

If you had a whole week (no work, no kids) to do things with your significant other, what would you do?

The tropical island sounds nice. No, seriously, probably what we've been doing for the past year and a half. In order for us to substantially change our routine, money would have to enter into the equation.

What is your idea of a long-term relationship?

If I see a person more than a few times, that's long-term for me. It can be a long-term sexual relationship, where we don't meet for any reason other than fucking, but if it makes it past a few meet-ups specifically to see this person, not just running into one another at another function, that's long-term for me. I'm lucky in that I'm not constrained to one long-term relationship at a time.

What is a healthy relationship?

Trust. Communication. Consent. Compromise. I think one hallmark of a healthy relationship that doesn't come up as often as those clichés is that you both want the same thing from the relationship, or you both want something you get from it, at least. Like, I could see a D/s relationship where the couple wouldn't want the same thing, but they both want the relationship to operate in a certain way. Something like that. You don't have to get equal things from a healthy relationship, but you should both be okay with what you get from it.

How did you meet your current (or last) lover?

I've told the story on the blog. Ages ago. Here and here, to begin with. Short version: she was dating a guy I was sort of dating, sort of just fuck-buddies with, she was a virgin, he wanted to be her first, she was nervous about that, and so enter Lexi, sex councilor to teenage lovers. I didn't deflower her but I was present. And then we started fooling around too, and then he dumped both of us and we wound up together. It wasn't what I expected to happen at all, but I'm mighty glad it did.

What is the first thing you do after having sex?

Clean up. What that entails varies wildly, but even if it's just reaching down and scooping some cum out of me, I clean up a little.

Do you have any bad habits that you hide from your significant other?

I try not to be unladylike and fart around her.

TMI Deep Stuff

What makes you, you?

Did you really come here to read a detailed analysis of philosophy as it pertains to being and identity? Well you're in luck because here I go.

I would argue that there are a number of factors which go into making a person who they are, some nature, some nurture. I wouldn't be who I am if I had a different genome, for instance, but genetics are hardly destiny. Similarly, I am the sum of my experiences and memories, but I'm more than that. Also, if I'm the sum of my memories, am I still affected by something I no longer remember? I would argue yes.

So it seems like it's as simple as: my genome plus the sum of that genome's experiences is what makes me me, but come on, that's both dispassionate, clinical, and totally wrong. That's like saying that the future is predestined and my DNA rides through it like my body is a vehicle for long acid chains. The events of my life are in part dictated by my identity, because they're the result of choices I've made. And my choices are a result both of me and how I was raised and the events which took place leading up to those choices. And how I was raised, like my DNA, is affected by my ancestry, but also by dumb luck.

It's all a circle around a circle, a wheel within a wheel. There's no prototype of me which can be said to exist independent of myself from which I can be said to have progressed. And genetics is seriously complicated by the fact that they've found, more and more, that nurture affects nature too. How well my parents did in life is an intimate part of my genes. Epigenetics is a trip, man.

So, frankly, what makes me me is me. There's no separating the pluribus out of the unum. I am greater than the sum of my parts. That's not a fair answer but it's the only one I can give.

Do you care more about doing the right thing or doing things right?

I think you can't do things right if they're not the right thing, so I guess doing the right thing. I suppose this is supposed to be a rumination on the letter versus the spirit of the law or something, but I think, deep down, you can't do things right if they're wrong things. I suppose you can do wrong things correctly, like being a particularly punctual mass-murderer or something, but I'd argue that at the bottom you're still doing things wrong, just efficiently or whatever.

What is sexual freedom? Do you have it?

Sexual freedom is being completely uninhibited sexually, I guess. So no, even though I may have more than most, I don't have true sexual freedom because we live in a society. We're none of us free until we all are, I guess. But I'm not sure that "sexual freedom" isn't some kind of Platonic ideal we can approach but never actually reach. People are always going to have hangups. I wish we had fewer of them, as a society, but even if we could eliminate those, there would still be individual hangups.

In your romantic relationships, is trust more important than love?

I was going to say that I didn't think you could have love without trust, but frankly, that's not true. I can think of at least one person whom I love and probably always will whom I wouldn't trust further than I could throw them, and they're heavy. Perhaps it's more accurate to say that love without trust is no basis for any healthy relationship, but trust without love isn't terribly romantic. I trust partners. I love lovers. I think I'd like a bit of both, but I think, as I enter my senescence, that I value trust perhaps a bit more highly than romantic love. I don't think you can have a healthy romantic relationship without both, however.

Your life, is it more of a dream or a nightmare?

Neither; it's one of those dreams where you bore yourself awake. My life isn't nightmarish for the most part, it's just tedious. I'm not going to claim nightmare status, even on my bad days. I've been very lucky in some ways. But by the same token, my life is hardly what I would call a dream. I'm that dream where you have to find something but you don't know where it is and it keeps changing identity as you look for it, plus your parents are there looking mildly disappointed, and you wake up feeling exhausted, never having found that thing you were looking for, whatever it was.

What is the last romantic thing you did for someone?

I gave Sveta a back rub. We can't afford flowers but we try to keep the romance alive.

That was a nice light answer to end with. I'll leave it there.

TMI Would You Rather?

Would you rather wrestle naked in a pool of Jello or chocolate pudding?

Chocolate pudding, because I've wrestled in Jello and they put citric acid in every flavor of Jello, and citric acid sucks donkey dong when you get it in your eyes. I wish to stress that I did not wrestle in Jello for any prurient reason, but as a bonding exercise. There really isn't a fun story there; people of all stripes were doing it, and I was paired up with a girl who I wound up being vague acquaintances with later on, but there was no sexual aspect, and it was coeducational. Don't bother, in my humble.

Would you rather have sex in your parents’ bed or at a mattress store?

This isn't really a fair question, since I regularly have sex on my parents' bed, sometimes with a parent. But I'm not sure whether this question is about the awkwardness/squick factor or not. For most people, it would be at least somewhat squicky to get it on on their parents' bed, so is this asking about whether a bed which has presumably been lain on by great multitudes of people is more unpleasant than that? Or is it asking whether the public aspect of sex in a mattress store would be worse than the private shame of sex on the parents' bed.

For myself, I'd totally fuck on a mattress store bed if there were no people around to watch. Add the public aspect to the equation and I'm probably bowing out, though in my crazy youth, had I been assured that I would suffer no legal ramifications, I might have sung a different tune.

Would you rather have sex on a beach in Hawaii or behind a waterfall in Brazil?

The waterfall by a country mile. Again, this could be about the public nature of the act, but I'm strictly basing it on location; all other things being equal, I'll take the waterfall because while I've had plenty of beach sex and recounted some of it on here, sand in parts is no joke. Plus the waterfall just sounds sexier. Plus no chance of sunburn, which I get in spades.

Would you rather be on top riding your lover all night or taken/taking them from behind all night long? Why?

This is a completely different question for hetero guys because in both cases they're doing the work of riding. For me, while I'm perfectly fine with cowgirl, I'd usually rather get taken from behind, particularly of late because I want animal sex recently. There's something magically submissive about a good solid mounting from behind too. Plus rear entry stimulates parts of me that aren't stimulated other ways.

That said, my favorite position remains missionary. A lady doesn't have to be logical.

To be fair, if it was a choice between riding atop or riding behind (and I have ridden plenty of people both ways) I think I prefer atop because I'm more likely to get mine that way, all other things being equal. That said, I love love love fucking a girl from behind with a double dil. It's a totally different experience than with a strap-on, although there are strap-ons and there are strap-ons.

Would you rather have sex with only one person watching but they know it’s you or with 50 people watching and have them not know it is you?

I think I'd prefer the 50, assuming I don't get to pick the person/people. I mean, I've fucked in front of plenty of people who knew it was me, but I had a relationship with them where that was fine.

Would you rather have to pay for sex or be paid to have sex? Explain.

I've never paid for sex. That's the privilege of being a hot girl, I guess. I was once paid for sex, and didn't really care for it. Of the two, I think I'd still prefer to be paid, even if it wasn't particularly enjoyable, hence why I haven't done it again.