Updates

Thanks to everyone who's being supportive; I appreciate your patience and ability to put up with the drama of my life. Even silent supporters.

As far as how everyone is doing: Mom and Dad are both fine. No friction over Dad's chippy. I've pretty much gotten over it as well. Everyone in the house is tired and annoyed with life, but not each other.

Mike is fine, last I heard from him. He's got finals right now, so I don't hear from him for a few weeks. Last I heard, he had enjoyed himself fishing, and had fucked at least one coed this year, but no serious relationships.

Mari is poor. She and her sig-o don't make enough money. They were worried about losing their lease if the rent went up, but for right now, they're able to scrape by. The economy's tough on everyone.

Sheri is crazy, but we all knew that. She decided not to quit her current job, but she takes it about as seriously as I take the comics page. I'm almost positive she's sleeping with her boss to get the kind of treatment she gets. But maybe not. She could just be teasing everyone. If she was sleeping with her boss, it would hardly be the first time; I think she slept with her very first boss one summer when she worked at the snack bar at the pool. How else could she get away with giving all sorts of free food and candy to her friends and family?

Aunt Jenny was in the hospital recently. She's out now, but we're still concerned about her. Didn't see her for Easter, which is the first time in a long time, because we really couldn't make it and she wasn't up to it. She's always been frail, and I think she's got arthritis and probably osteoporosis, not to mention any other, more recent problems.

Sveta is coming up on graduation awfully fast. Time flies, doesn't it? She's nervous about things, but she's coping. We've gotten together once since our big date, just a quickie really, watched a movie, cuddled, talked a bit. We made love almost to relieve the tension; it was nice, but it was like we just wanted to be together but we were both too horny to enjoy it without some release first.

Other than that, there's stuff, but not worth talking about. I'm still moving toward my eventual goals. I'm still horny as ever, although as I said I don't usually have the energy to indulge in long, drawn-out releases of that horniness.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and this will all blow over soon enough. I hope.

Sorry I Haven't Been Posting Regularly...

...but all kinds of shit has been going down recently, so I've been pretty swamped, and when I haven't been swamped, I just haven't been up to it. I've been in that place I get where I'm just too tired to deal with foreplay, and sadly, blogging is foreplay. It means I don't enjoy sex as much, but it gets the job done.

I'm fine, everyone's pretty okay, but shit and down and going and has been. That kind of thing.

Talking With Mom

I don't talk about my mother as much, because my dealings with her are primarily non-sexual and thus less interesting to the viewers at home It's not fair of course, because my mom is a big part of my life too. I talk to her a lot, about girl stuff, about popular culture that my Dad doesn't care as much about, sexual technique... about all sorts of things.

Well, today I was talking to her about this and that, and the topic of conversation moved to Dad's chippy. I asked her how she could be so cool about it, when it was making me jealous and I wasn't even married to him. She laughed and said she'd lost any fear of Dad running off with another woman a long time ago. It's part of their relationship; it's like couples doing separate things. Dad doesn't like some movies, so Mom will watch them without him. Likewise, she doesn't enjoy travel as much, so Dad will sometimes travel by himself. It's that kind of thing.

We talked about how I was jealous, and Mom's of the opinion that it's because (a) I feel left out of the loop and (b) I need a man. "Scared I'm hogging all your territory?" I joked.

"No, of course not," she said, taking me seriously. This then devolved into a conversation about my plans, about Sveta, about how I feel simultaneously like I want Dad all to myself and that I want someone else instead. Blah blah blah. I've probably gone over all of it before.

But then I told her she should get something on the side too. She laughed and said she was perfectly happy with what she had. But I kept pushing, and she kept saying no, and finally we were talking about the fact that Mom's not that into sex at present. God, if that ever happened to me, I think I'd probably... well, I don't know, actually, because it's not like she can't, it's that she doesn't want it all the time. In fact, she's never wanted it as much as her children. Dad neither. I mean, Dad wants it, and Mom does too, at least she used to, but not in the same hungry way I get, certainly.

Mom thinks it might be a little unhealthy for me to be so fixated. I told her she was probably right. Understand, it's not about being fixated on sex; Mom would feel the same way if I was fixated on anything, good or bad. Sex is great, but when you get addicted to it... I'm not saying I'm a sex addict, just maybe I let my desire for it rule me more than I should.

But eventually, I asked, hypothetically, supposing Mom wanted to, who would she want to fuck on the side? Family and friends are out of the equation; it has to be someone she'd never fucked before. Mom thought about that for a while, then she said Steve McQueen. I told her to be serious; he's not in her league and he's dead.

Finally, I got her to pick someone. I could tell you who, but it wouldn't mean anything. He's someone we know, middle-aged but still quite fit and attractive. Mom said she picked him largely because she had seen him in a bathing suit and he looked like he was hung large. I guess Mom needs added stimulus. Don't we all.

Anyway, that's never going to happen. But I said she should try to find someone new, just for a change of pace. If ruts are bad, then we both need to blast out. She agreed that ruts were bad, but didn't say anything on the subject of her blasting out. Then we started talking about something else, because there wasn't much else to say.

I think Mom should find a total stranger, someone who likes older women (I mean, my mom's a fox, but she's my mom, so she's not a teenager) and just wants a random lay. I'm not soliciting applications; I just think that's what she should do.

I feel a little bad though, because knowing just how not into sex Mom is at present made me a bit happy, because I knew that Dad would only have me as an outlet. Me and his chippy. And now I hate her and want her to choke on his cock and die. No, I don't. Not really. But she's spoiling my fun.

Of course, Mom could suddenly swing over from total disinterest to raging nympho any time; it often happens. Hormones are bizarre things. She keeps in practice now, because if you don't use it, it dries up, but still, I could wake up and find that Mom and Dad are scheduled through Christmas, leaving me out in the cold. Hell, if Mom gets too horny, she might have to find someone else; Dad's not up for more than a few times a day.

Well, I'd better live while I can. I'm going to find Dad right now, see if he's still awake, and get him to stuff me full of babymaker. I didn't talk with Mom about how I want Dad to knock me up; some things are best left unsaid. But since it's only a fantasy anyway, she's got no reason to know.

Girls on the Side

The craziest thing just happened. Well, maybe not "just happened" so much as I just found out about it. My Dad got lucky. And not with me, or Mom, or anyone else I would expect.

He said she's a woman he's known for a while, and he asked Mom if she was okay with him going for it, and she said yes. Not abnormal, since my Dad has taken several lovers who weren't family since he and Mom have been together. I've met two of them; they were family friends. One knew all about the family, one was totally in the dark and thought that Dad was cheating on Mom.

By the same token, Mom's had a few lovers outside the family too. My parents don't just talk the talk, they walk the walk too. I don't know if they've ever been to a swingers party, but they've certainly swung.

Anyway, this woman is younger than Dad by a fair bit, probably only a little older than Mari. She knows that Mom and Dad have that kind of marriage, so it's not like she thinks they have to hide it. But she's not in on anything else. Dad says she wanted to fuck him more than he wanted to fuck her, has been putting the moves on him. What a lady killer. Anyway, I guess Dad's viewing it as a charity gig, giving this poor gal some hot beef injections to make her happy. I'm sure he didn't mind doing it either, but I bet it was mostly for her.

I don't really mind, except I feel left out of the loop. He finally fucked her yesterday, at her apartment. And I didn't hear a word of this until now. Of course, I don't tell Dad everything I do, so I guess it's his prerogative, and at least he told me about it afterward. Actually, he told both me and Mom about it over dinner, after he got back. She knew, of course. I was surprised.

I'm jealous, even though Dad assured me that this chick has nothing on his girls. Still, I'm jealous. But he used a condom, and he didn't do anything particularly exciting, and he's not planning on making it a long-term thing. Both he and Mom felt sorry for her, which is funny but true. It was like Mom was giving this poor gal a loaner for the day. Mom's perfectly happy to loan Dad out; her sex-drive is way down recently. I wish I could have given the okay too, because I am jealous. I'll admit that.

Anyway, I also kind of wish I'd been there, just to watch. Dad could be a porn star, and he's fun to watch. He said she wasn't that orgasmic, but she had one at least.

I'm still coming to terms with this, and I don't really know why, because as I said, Dad's had other lovers than me, and he hasn't asked my permission. I'm feeling tied down here at home a bit, like I'm getting too attached to my rut. I'm terrified of breaking out of it, but I'm going to have to, otherwise I'll wind up being Dad's second wife, and while that would be nice, I can't do it because he can't give me all that I need. He won't give me a baby, for instance. And not being out on my own makes me feel a bit like a loser.

Anyway, I want to see this chick, measure her up. Dad described her, but didn't do a particularly good job. She's shorter, blond, big tits, on the rounder side but not fat, and he says she's very nice. I don't need to meet her, I just want to see her. I'm sharpening my claws, damn it. When did I wind up like this?

Dating

I don't have a huge amount of time right at the moment, but I just realized it's been more than a week since I last posted, and that was kind of a crappy post anyway. So I'm going to take a short break, even though there are other people around, to post.

This weekend, Sveta and I finally managed to hook up. As had been suggested to me by several smart people (they know who they are) I took her out and we did some romantic stuff. On a budget, that mostly involved driving to the next town, where it's less likely we'd run into someone we knew, and going to a moderately-priced bistro. Sveta is a less adventurous eater than I am, so it was just bistro food, but it was fun. We talked, not about stuff that I wish I could get the balls to talk about, but we did some talking about relationship stuff. Tried to keep it light, not ruin the enjoyment, and I think I succeeded.

Then we went and threw rocks into a pond until the light ran out, and Sveta was all over me. It was good for her to be the aggressive one, I think. On the way home, I had to stop her because I was in danger of driving off the road. I was a little worried we might get pulled over, but we didn't, fortunately. Not that there was anything in particular that the cops would have found, nor were either of us drunk, but still, dealing with that shit sucks, and it would have spoiled the mood.

We got back to my house, where I had some white wine because Sveta wanted to try it. I hate wine myself, but I drank a little of it. Sveta, I think, was trying hard to like it, but in the end, we didn't drink that much of it. It's okay; I'll cook with it. We sat and watched TV for about five seconds and then we both kind of ripped into each other, because it had been so long since we'd been together. She tasted just as nice as I remembered.

Lying there, basking in the afterglow as it were, I started mentioning various things that turn me on, getting her into a conversation about it. I worked my way toward older men, and she said she had to make a call based on the individual man, because there were some guys who were hot at any age, but some who weren't. And then I asked her about Dad. I couldn't believe I was that gutsy; maybe I was drunker than I thought. White wine might fuck me up; I don't know. I didn't feel drunk.

Well, anyway, upshot was that Sveta giggled and got all coy, but eventually she laughed and said that she thought he was cute, for an older man. "If he wasn't your dad..." were her exact words, I think.

And then I pussied out and didn't continue. I could have; it was ideal. But no. I went back and had a second helping of her sweet cunt, and kicked myself in the ass for being such a wimp.

Well, that's all for now. But it's something; she thinks Dad's cute. Maybe I should get him to seduce her... no, not a good idea.

So Very Tired

I've not been sleeping well. Could be PMS. Fuck, I don't know.

I know I'm missing Sveta, who isn't around so I haven't been able to make it up to her yet. As soon as I can, I will, believe me. I've had some good advice that I intend to take.

I saw a program on the Kama Sutra (a documentary, not a porno), and aside from the fact that Indian erotic art is hot even if it's not supposed to be, I wish that our society was more like the Indians in terms of attitudes toward sexuality. Well, not the current-day Indians, who are all hung up, but the Indians who wrote the Kama Sutra et cetera. Or like the Egyptians. Or any other civilization that's had a more relaxed view of sex. Because we're entirely too uptight about that shit.

Well, that was boring, but I'm really tired, as it says in the title. I might nap. I don't know.

April

I do not believe in April Fools Day. So I will not be announcing that I'm joining the nunnery, nor will I be telling you all that I'm really a man, or anything else. I'm fine, been busy, hope to have something exciting to report at some point.

Sheri visited this weekend. We had a good time. I'll leave it at that, because a lot of it wasn't blog-safe. Because of our good-time-having, I forgot to call Sveta, and although Sveta isn't pissed off or anything, I feel really guilty. I'm going to have to make it up to her. I think I'll get some booze, have her over, we'll have a good time. Maybe I'll find a guy. I could probably do that. I'm not the propositional type any more, but for Sveta, I could try.

Watching Sheri and Dad together was fun, largely because I haven't seen Dad with another woman in a long time. And she likes it harder than I do, or than Mom does, so Dad doesn't last as long with her. In fact, he told me that he's glad he doesn't have to satisfy her on a regular basis, because he's getting too old for that. I wouldn't believe him except that I know just how demanding it is to fuck Sheri.

Her cunt isn't so tight any more (sorry sis, but it's the truth) but she makes up for it in other ways. And for all the sex she's had, it's tighter than it has a right to be. And talk about deep; she could take on Long Dong Silver with no trouble, I think. I don't think; I know. She can get things in her cooch that are unreal.

Of course, she and I had some fun too, which is how I can tell you she's not as tight as a virgin any more. We did many fun things, and I enjoyed it right up to the moment that I remembered that I'd promised to meet up with Sveta on the weekend. That kind of spoiled the fun.

I've got to make it up to her. Anyone have any ideas?