Early

I have to get up obscenely early this weekend. I'll be out of the house before my parents are up. I'll be out of the house before I might normally go to bed. Oh, the crazy theatre schedule.

So one of two things will happen: 1) I'll be exhausted and weepy and moody and stressed and I won't do anything, or 2) I'll be all those things, but I'll also be unable to sleep and will be incredibly horny. I just know that I won't be able to see Sveta, or anyone else, so either way, I'm not likely to get any action this weekend, which sucks because I was sort of hoping.

It's possible, if somewhat unlikely, that I may get so insomniac and bored that I'll blog a whole bunch. I doubt it; I'm getting too old for that kind of thing. Seriously, I can't pull all-nighters like I used to.

So yeah, right now I'm less weepy and depressed and more angsty and depressed. There are small children playing outside my window, and normally that might inspire some kind of maternal instinct, but right now I just want them to shut the fuck up. Earlier they were out there and I was feeling philosophical, wondering how their childhood differs from mine, besides the obvious things. Am I happier because of my non-traditional upbringing? I think so; at least, I think that there's not a problem with letting children explore sex safely, and obviously I think my family is great. But occasionally I wonder if innocence has its benefits too. I just don't know.

Maybe it's a problem of sex being seen as not innocent. Maybe if we were more enlightened as a society, children learning about sex would be seen like children learning about anything else. Of course, there's a part of me which wonders if any knowledge, no matter how "innocent" we think it is, isn't just a corruption. But that's way deeper than I wanted to be right now. Right now, I want the kids to shut up, or at least take it farther away from my window.

I guess when my siblings and I were younger, we were kind of noisy too. I know we were noisy when we were fooling around. Kids make a lot of noise when they fuck, not necessarily verbal, but it tends to be more energetic and animated. That was one good thing about having the playroom in the basement; it's on the lowest floor, so you don't hear pounding on the ceiling. But there was plenty of bed-creaking in the house.

I don't have enough experience with children's sexual development, but I know that all three sisters went through a vocal period. I know that starting out with anal, I was very noisy. I used to make lots of noise, or so my brother says. I don't remember being that much louder myself, but I guess I could have been.

We had lots of carpet, so the noise of footfalls and rolling around were lessened, but if you get going hard up against a wall, that's just as noisy. Sheri once chipped a tooth, she fetched up against a wall so hard. It wasn't at the house, but that should give you some indication of how hard she likes to be fucked up against a wall, especially since she chipped the tooth but kept right on taking it from behind. I've never been that into rough sex, but I'm sure that I made my share of thuds against walls and doors.

One thing we've never had problems with is music or TV. Everyone keeps their music quite low in the family, and the TV too, when it's on. There have been a few occasions of really loud music, but it's isolated incidents, not ongoing fights about volume. And everyone was pretty tolerant of sex noise too; I only recall a handful of times having to ask someone to keep it down, and only a handful of being on the receiving end of such a request.

These kids are loud because they're talking loudly and running around. I'm just not in the mood right now. I would be in the mood if we lived in a totally different world and these kids were being loud because they were naked and fooling around. I wouldn't interfere, but I'd think better of the noise right now.

Hell, all little kids go through exploratory phases. Why is some exploration so frowned on? I know why, basically, I'm asking a rhetorical question because it pisses me off.

This was such a bullshit update. I'm really going to try to write something better next time.