dropping he dove deeply all alone and unarmored
seeking the sea witch mother of the wild one
down to the cold black down into shadow's lair
bright was his strong sword long had he lusted for blood
blood to avenge comrades blood for his dark gods
‘til came he down and saw her slim form swaying
heard her sultry call beheld his mortal foe
bright was his strong sword forgotten in nerveless hand
no one to aid his quest all alone and unarmored
singing she called to him come slayer of many
come to my warm arms put aside troubles past
forget the breathing world long had he lusted for blood
now his lust is loin-felt to spend himself in her slickness
whiten her womb-well feel the flesh forced open
bright was his strong sword casting away darkness
now he sees her true form sneer curling her lip
she would revenge her son wild one who rends men
her beauty made terrible before his new wisdom
now he raises up the forged fury of his fathers
screams she shrilly seeing her scheme settled
mother of the wild one and bright sword shall battle
Presented for your approval: one Beowulf pastiche of limited skill. I wish I could say that I spoke Old English and had translated this. Or that I had enough chops actually to do metrically what the bards of yore were able to pull off in their heads. I tried to hoe a line which gives a feeling for it, anyway.
It's awkward because modern audiences are used to iambic pentameter, and if you read this, sometimes it seems like it wants to go into that, but there are six stresses and it's not iambs. This isn't historically accurate because Old English poetry tended to do two stresses per half-line, but honestly, every time I've tried quadrameter, the lines are too short, and that's leaving out the other requirements. So, sextameter of sorts with a caesura in the middle (that's what the space between the half-lines is, for those who wonder). Let's face it, it's bound to have faults; it's not called "Flash" fiction for nothing, and this is pretty slapdash.
I am rather more interested in the alliterative qualities of it in any case. Old English (and indeed other poetry of the same sort) is alliterative verse, which means it doesn't rhyme but it still holds together based on shared sounds. I didn't force it, but there's rather a lot of it here, as it should be. I admit that I stole "strong sword" straight from Beowulf itself.
At this point, a fair number of you have begun to wonder about me, or to wonder what the Hell I'm talking about, or both. I hope the excerpt (if I can call it that) holds together on its own without too much context being needed, but suffice it to say that Beowulf is a hero, he's already mortally wounded Grendel, a monster (the "wild one who rends men"), and now he's gone down to the bottom of the watery realm to deal with Grendel's mother. Maybe you saw the movie and remember Angelina Jolie. Well, for starters, dear God no, but that's whom we're talking about. I haven't seen the movie, nor do I care to, but if that helps, go nuts. Actually, watch The 13th Warrior instead, because that movie kicks ass.
I'm left with the task of explaining myself, having just provided what would otherwise be a translator's postscript had I actually translated anything. Basically, I wanted to write Beowulf pastiche. I took several liberties with the story. Why with this picture? I don't really know; it struck me that nobody said that Grendel's mother had to be hideous. But the sneer is what caught me; she's not sneering in the picture, but I could see her doing it, and she went from beautiful to terrible, and that's basically when I started thinking up alliterative lines. I'm particularly proud of "whiten her womb-well;" if the Anglo-Saxons had written porn, I bet they would have used that line.
Okay, I'm a nerd. Don't expect Homer pastiche next week because it's much harder to pull off, but do expect further diversions into the world of literature-nerdery. And if you're an Anglo-Saxon scholar who'd like to criticize me on my choices or my incorrect use of things or my lack of complete and total alliteration, I'm sorry in advance. I should probably have written something sexier and less complicated.
For that, I recommend Flash Fiction Friday for your sexy and uncomplicated needs. I don't mean that the writing is sexy and uncomplicated (usually the former, seldom the latter), just that you could write something sexy and uncomplicated for Flash Fiction Friday and we'd probably dig it the most. Do the kids still say that? Dig it the most? No? Damn, fetch my time machine.
Or, in other words:
Flash Fiction Friday steeped long in silent sexiness
bursts forth bouncing with burgeoning literary legerdemain
hail to the Bear-Tank thick of thew and mighty
with visual treats vying for exciting ecstatic exegesis
18 comments:
I had a huge crush on my 11th grade English teacher, so this work for me on several levels
You are a fantastic writer, loved it. Happy FFF!
Katia
Goddammit, you and Soren are making the rest of us look like amateurs this week. I made an abortive stab at something halfway between yours and his before I got pissed and nearly threw the keyboard across the room. Most of the time I can manage to wrestle words under my control without too much trouble, but I can't, for the life of me, write like that, no matter how many times I reread Beowulf or the Kalevala.
There's a rhythm, a cadence, to this style, and you've got the ear for it. So many times I've seen pastiches like this that utterly, utterly sucked, because the writer just didn't have the skill and econony that you do (or that Soren did in his). But this...this is marvelous.
Bravo, Lexi. Absolutely wonderful. Thanks so much for joining in this week.
-- PB
Also: "hail to the Bear-Tank / thick of thew and mighty" is quite possibly the most awesome thing anybody has written about me yet. I may steal that and put it up somewhere on my page. :)
-- PB
Write something less complicated? In the short time I have been reading you, it's that complicated aspect you bring with such ease that is most captivating. Your commentary allows us all to see what you were thinking and how it all comes together. It's a clever balance and challenges us all.
@Advizor: Funny, I think I had to read Beowulf in 11th as well. Small world. My teacher was nice enough, but not a crush in the least.
@Katia: *blushes* Thanks :)
@PB: I've honed the craft over many attempts. I've always loved the sagas and eddas (eddur, actually) and so forth, and I've read some very good translations of them which hewed more or less closely to the style. I think one thing, as I said, that helps me is that I didn't stick with the quadrameter; some people do and wind up with lines that are entirely too terse because English is a less-compact language now than it used to be. And you can't be afraid to break the rules a bit one way to adhere in another, so if there's a moment where the rhythm requires beats that shouldn't be there, you add them and live with it. It has to sound right, rather than hewing to the rules precisely, because let's face it, if I hewed to them precisely, I'd have to write in Old English, which ain't gonna happen.
And you may feel free to use my skol to you in whatever way you see fit. Here's a good example of what I was talking about: Bear-Tank has the same stresses as Panserbjørne (and the latter, being German, is probably more authentic, not to mention including the third unstressed syllable the line lacks) but Bear-Tank scans better, so I hope you don't mind my translating your name.
@Drenchxoxo: Such kind words for my nerdiness; I don't know if I deserve them, but I'll take them anyway :)
Absolutely LOVED this! Great job! I remember telling my English teacher that I really liked Beowulf. Must have been the only one in the class who did. She took a double look at me. I think I became her favorite student for the remainder of the year. LOL! Awesome job, Lexi.
@TemptingSweets99: Thanks hun! When I first read Beowulf, all the joy was sucked out of it by having to read it over a period of about 2 months in brain-crushing detail. Which is why I hate literature classes. But I still sort of liked it, and then when I read several other, better translations of it, I got to like it more. It's not my favorite, but it's still good. Glad you enjoyed my poor imitation.
Holly smokes! To me poetry and music are so similar and having said that and knowing nothing about either I am probably making a terrible simily (sp?) please forgive my total literary ignorance. I said that to say this they are both magic and put together by witches and wizards in dark musty dungeons over kettles hanging over small cracking fires with frogs swimming in them but each frog of them missing a leg. you get the idea.. oh and eyeless newts crawling about on tall wooden tables bumping into crystal balls and other newts.
...oh and I have never read Beowulf and have never seen or heard the word pastiches... I wonder if I better get out now before I reveal my self as a total illiterate buffoon. With out spell check you all would think me a cat walking on the keyboard.
I love reading and listening to Shakespeare... does that count?
@Big Geek: As I've said before, just because you don't happen to be as big a lit nerd as me doesn't mean much of anything. For the record, The 13th Warrior is a great intro to Beowulf (steer clear of the Zemeckis movie though) and pastiche is the aping of a literary style. In other words, it's like what art students do when they go to galleries and copy paintings; not intended to be counterfeit (although it can be used that way, and has in the past) but just a way of practicing style by copying. Translators do pastiche as well because they're trying to imitate the style of a work in another language. In my case, perhaps an homage is the best way of putting it. The more you know... *dah dah dah dah*
I'm clueless since I never really studied english literature, but I always enjoy your stories, mostly because you always think outside the box and you're so original! I'll take a few more reads for sure.
You rock!
@Spring Flower: As I've said, The 13th Warrior is a great movie and marginally related to Beowulf. I'm glad I've gotten a number of readers who don't know the story but who've still enjoyed it, because I was a bit afraid this was too esoteric.
This is my favorite I've read so far. The Beowulf reference? *puts pointer finger and thumb together* Perfect. Spot on poetry, this.
~Soren
@Soren: I was quite fond of yours as well. But I'm touched that it's a favorite.
Great job dear! That you even attempted the poetic is fantastic. A limerick next time?
@rozewolf: Only if PB decides to give a word limit that doesn't require me writing 5 of them ;) I hope next week, it'll be a nice simple sexy picture, because I have limited time and energy to spare in the coming days. Oh, who am I kidding; I'll write something ridiculous even if the picture is simple and sexy.
Mining through the archives - And I find this treasure.
I might have considered your blog a carnivore of free time before - but now it's a treasure trove of creativity.
Bravo.
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