Questions Other People Could Have Asked

It worked for Sephi to appeal to the guilt of the masses to get some questions, but I know just how hard it is to think of questions to ask. So let's pretend that these questions, which I got from Kara and Jess, were actually asked by people. In fact, I'm going to give them names.

Former Lady Sarah Ferguson asks: "What was your first job?"

Funnily enough, pretty much doing what I do now. I got a gig working backstage as a yoot, and things kind of snowballed from there.

Pope Pius XII asks: "Have you ever seen a stand up comedian?"

It's difficult to tell whether His Holiness is asking whether I've seen one live or just ever seen one at all. Have I run into a stand-up comedian on the stairs? No. Have I seen one live? Yes, although no one you'd likely know. Have I seen one on TV? Of course. I like stand-up, actually, and I'm a shockingly easy audience. I have some favorites, but I'll watch pretty much anyone who's not terrible.

Queen Noor asks: "When was the last time you played mini golf?

Ages ago. I'm not very good, and there's no course nearby. My family used to play sometimes, of an evening, but we haven't done it in a long time. Just too busy. I kind of miss that; not the game so much, but playing it together.

Ex-King Zog of Albania asks: "What was the last picture you took?"

I'm not much of a picture-taker. Quite possibly something that's made it on the site. I can't remember; I don't take pictures even monthly.

Imperatrix B'Qthaaaaa of the Crab Nebula asks: "Burnt food: yes or no?"

Again I'm not totally clear on the question, but while I have burnt things by accident, I'm not a fan of doing it or eating the results. I like a little char on things cooked over a fire or on the grill, but beyond that healthy infusion of cancer-causing carcinogens, I'm fine with food in an unburnt state.

Harry Houdini asks: "If you have a pocket full of change, what do you do with it?"

I hate change, so I remove it from my pockets as quickly as possible. If I'm in the car, I put it in the cup holder for tolls and parking meters, and if not I put it on the table with the intention of putting it in the car, but it probably never makes it there. There was a time when I saved quarters for laundry, but that time is blessedly past. And during holiday times, I sometimes deposit change in various charity buckets. Honestly, if I were a better person I'd do that more often.

Athena, Goddess of Wisdom and War, asks: "Can you touch your tongue to your nose?"

Nope. I'd never tried until I read this question. I can say conclusively that I cannot do this particular parlor trick. But I more than make up for it with other things I can do with my tongue.

Qin Shi Wang, first Emperor of China, asks: "Do you scrapbook?"

No. Never been terribly crafty like that. I used to build paper models and make rockets, but I've never scrapped-book. Not that I wouldn't try it. I mean, a lot of it seems like it would be fun. I just don't know that I'd do it for preserving mementos. I'm not big on preserving mementos.

St. Anne of the Bleeding Bodice asks: "Do you buy lottery tickets?"

No. I'm not much for gambling, and anyway lottery tickets are pretty much a sucker's bet. Me, if I'm going to gamble on something, I'd like it to at least have some element that's not pure chance.

Former President Dwight D. Eisenhower asks: "Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?"

As odd as this will seem, behind. I know I said I wasn't much for taking pictures, and I'm not, and I know it might seem contrary to my exhibitionist tendencies, but I'm actually not all that happy with most pictures of me. It's not that some of them aren't good, it's just that a lot of them (the ones you'll never ever see) aren't. The camera doesn't represent what the eye sees anyway. So I'm always the one who volunteers to take the group photo. Boudoir photography is easier for me to get into, but even then, I'm still a bit camera-shy. There's a small part of me which believes that the primitive tribespeople are right and having my picture taken steals my soul. Okay, that's weird enough for today.

There you have it, folks. I feel so honored that all these important people took time out of their busy schedules to ask me such interesting questions. But I won't forget the little people. I may step on them on the way up, but I won't forget them as I'm stepping.

All kidding aside, I'm always open for questions, and while I don't have a gadget to make those questions show up on some other website, you can use the easy method already provided by Blogger and leave me a comment, or you can email me if you want to be all private and such.