Tease Tuesday

And now, the complete story of all the fun this weekend...

Will not be seen so we can bring you the following TMI. From Max, indirectly from HEDONE.

1. Who would you call for bail money?

It would depend on why I needed to be bailed and where I was. For some things, I'd have to skip my parents and go for the nearest sibling, unless I was quite close to a few people I know who'd be happy to bail me out for things I wouldn't tell my parents about if at all possible. Fortunately it's never happened and I hope it never will, unless I'm jailed for some protest or other, in which case I'm sure my parents, being the liberal people they are, would bail me out. Or I'd decide to rot in jail as part of the protest. Let's hope it doesn't come to that either.

2. Your life has been threatened unless you do one of the three following things. Which would you do? Why?

1. Do a sanctioned and well-promoted strip tease at a WWE event
2. Have sex with anyone of your choosing in a full of trash garbage dumpster
3. Star in your own Girls Gone Wild video knowing that it will be distributed, for free, in your hometown.

This is a tough question. B is right out; I don't want to get in a disgusting dumpster fully-clothed. Although it would depend on the dumpster. When I was younger, my sibs and I used to go dumpster-diving after each semester when all the college kids were moving out and throwing away some fantastic stuff. I'm not sure I'd do it now though. Anyway, I'd probably do a strip-tease at a WWE event, just because I'm just not that inhibited about stripping. Not that I'd enjoy it, but I think I could get through it. The video might make life more interesting than I'd like.

3. What is your most hated chore on your household chore list?

I don't like washing other people's dishes. But I'm really not a fan of most chores.

4. Do you perform any chores in the nude? Which one(s)?

All the time. And any of them that seem like they could be performed in the nude. But it's not really a big deal; I'm naked a lot.

5. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you turn out to do that?

I honestly can't remember. I'm pretty sure I didn't want to be what I wound up being when I was really young, but I can't remember what my first "when I grow up" job was. Hell, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm pretty much screwed on that front.

6. One of your scars, how did you get it?

I have a scar from when a certain someone stabbed me with a pair of scissors while trying to cut my hair. In fairness, it wasn't completely her fault. It's something you'd probably never notice unless I pointed it out to you, and then you'd see it and say, "Oh dear God, how did you not die?" I was quite young at the time and it's a larger scar that you'd think.

7. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Wallpaper. Bookshelves. A picture or two, not of anything in particular. A window.

8. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?

If I get really congested, I might snore just a little. I sometimes clench my teeth in my sleep, but I've gotten much better about that after orthodontics and a mouth guard. And I may talk in my sleep, but it's never been reported.

9. What type of music do you listen to?

All sorts. I'm beginning to find that, in my decrepitude, I listen to more music from my youth, so a lot of grunge. But that's comfort-food-type music. I listen to all kinds of things, from bluegrass to Shostakovitch, from Georgian choral music to rap. I'm pretty eclectic. That doesn't mean I like everything, not at all, but it's hard to pin a genre on the things I like.

BONUS: Buried or cremated? Why?

I actually want to be excarnated. Seriously. I'd like to be put up in a tree maybe, or possibly left out on a mountainside, and just gradually disappear, although I'd also accept being taken to international waters and dumped off the boat to feed the fish. But if those are the only two choices, I want to be cremated and have my ashes disposed of in some innocuous way, like being plowed into a field or thrown into a waterfall. However, as several people have pointed out, I'll be dead, so I guess it's not really up to me anyway. I don't want my survivors to have to spend a lot of time and effort and money on me when I'm dead though. And I'm fine with a gravesite; people need a place which can be my grave. But there doesn't actually have to be a body buried there. Again, not really my call; if my survivors want to freeze-dry me and put me in a corner so they can talk to me every morning at breakfast, I guess I'm okay with that too.