Stealing Stealing... Stealing?

I promise this week I'll be a bit better about posting, because I've got some time to myself and I have plans. But in lieu of being better about posting today, I'm going to steal Lola's Sunday Stealing and do it on Monday. Haha! Can't stop me, I'm wily like a fox.

1. Tell us about something that made you laugh last night.

There were some fairly amusing moments at rehearsal, actually.

2. What were you doing at 8 PM last night?

At the afore-mentioned rehearsal.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Answering emails.

4. What happened to you in 2006? (Feel free to republish an old post from '06.)

Um... I can't remember what I was doing last month, so five years ago is a bit of a stretch. Probably much the same thing I'm doing now, only probably with a bit more sex from some quarters and much less from others. My life hasn't changed much in five years. God, that's a depressing thought.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?

Something about my rehearsal last night to my mother. Well, more about the play than the rehearsal.

6. How many beverages did you have today?

I haven't had anything to drink today. I really need to get something; I'm parched.

7. What color is your hairbrush?

Brown. It's wood.

8. What was the last thing you paid for?

Delicious Greek food. Well, actually, the last time I was in, I got free food, but I still tipped, so I'm counting that.

9. Where were you last night?

ANSWER What is this, a police interrogation? Trying to break me down and get me to admit that I was actually at the Cumberbottom place doing in Old Mrs. McBeemish? You'll never get me, copper, see! I'm above the law, see! No prison can hold me, see! I was at a perfectly legitimate business meeting between my associates, and I'm sure they'd be happy to vouch for my presence all evening, including whatever time it was that the old broad bit it.

10. What color is your front door?

Brown.

11. Where do you keep your change?

In piles on the table. Or in my car. I hate carrying change; it falls out when I'm on ladders too, so I avoid that.

12. What’s the weather like today?

Beastly. Better than the weekend, I guess, but it could still get much cooler and I'd be happy.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?

Chocolate. Or mango sorbet. Actually, I'd almost rather you didn't waste chocolate on ice cream; give me mango sorbet, or pina colada, or something exciting and fruity, for ice-cream-ish purposes.

14. What excites you?

According to my last answer, fruit sorbets. I may have mentioned in the past various things which excite me, so I'll just say that the prospect of anal sex would really excite me right about now.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?

A little. It's getting pretty long.

16. Are you over the age of 35?

Why, are you looking for a running mate? Because I'm sorry Ms. Palin, but I just couldn't. Even if it were legal.

17. Do you talk a lot?

Sometimes.

18. Do you watch Franklin and Bash?

No. Why, was it on at the time Mrs. McBeemish was being stabbed brutally with a bread knife five times? Allegedly stabbed. I have no knowledge of the incident.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?

I do.

20. Do you make up your own words?

Absomolutitatively.

21. Are you a jealous person?

A little. I try to practice jealousy as a motivational factor, to make me want to better myself, rather than to make me hate the person of whom I'm jealous. Sometimes that works.

22. What does the last text message you received say?

Why does anyone care? No, that's not what it said; I don't get text messages and frankly I don't see the interest these questions always have in them.

23. Where’s the next place you’re going to?

Going to what? Oh, you mean where's the next place I'm going to go. Probably the theater again. Just because I've got some time to myself doesn't mean I don't have to show up occasionally.

24. Who’s the rudest person in your life?

That's a very good question. I'm probably pretty rude, so maybe I'm a bad judge. Know thyself and all that.

25. Are you crushing on anyone that you shouldn't be?

The verb "to crush" changed meaning at some point when I wasn't looking. Crushes used to be things one had, not something one did (unless one worked in an auto wrecking yard). I actually do have a crush, on someone who's kind of out of my league and whom I would never actually make it with as a couple. But it doesn't stop me dreaming. Actually, I really just want to have sex with this person, except that I don't find them tremendously attractive, physically. It's a strange feeling. And unlike some situations, nothing will ever come of it because I'm neither looking for a steady relationship nor looking to have a one-night stand with this individual. We'll just draw a curtain over it, because it's not likely to come up again.

Okay, you caught me; I have a crush on Mrs. McBeemish's foolish but charming daughter, okay! You forced it out of me! That's why I did it! And now that I've confessed, I can never be with her! Damn you, cruel fate! Damn you!