Sick

Not dead. Ill. And busy. Yay.

TMI Like Food

I do like me some food. And even though it's not Tuesday any more, I'm going to dwell on food for a bit because I like it a lot. I don't like turkey though, so I'll be filling up on side dishes tomorrow. Yay side dishes!

Häagen-Dazs or Ben & Jerry’s?

Häagen-Dazs had this terrific chocolate ice cream once which was made with rare rainforest chocolate or something. I'm just not that big an ice cream fan though. It's too cold. I like Ben & Jerry's, but I might have to give the edge in creamy goodness to the... I just looked it up, and apparently, Häagen-Dazs is from the US, originally. So I'll have to give the edge to the weird name. What were they thinking?

What is always in your refrigerator?

OJ, milk, flour tortillas, and probably butter. Not that I eat butter by the pound, just that I can't think of a time when I haven't had butter. There are other things which frequently make an appearance, and there are usually at least some sorts of vegetable, most notably carrots. I don't keep some things in the fridge.

What’s your worst kitchen disaster?

I made dumplings once for my boss when I had him over to dinner. They... weren't so great. And once, when I was on my own and poor, I had some leftover meatloaf and tried to make pasta sauce with it and a can of tomatoes, but when I tried to put a little pepper in, the top came off and the entire container of pepper dumped into the sauce, which I had been stirring at the time. I tried to pick out most of it, but it was no use. Then I tried to eat it anyway (I was hungry and poor) and nearly threw up, because while I like pepper a lot, this was too much.

What’s your best kitchen success?

Advizor added this one, and I thought it was a good addition. Except that I can't pick out a success story. I'm quite critical of my own food. I once made my mother an entirely vegetarian Indian meal for her birthday, complete with several courses and hand-made naan on a grill outside, which was awesome if I do say so myself, and I do. I cook many things people seem to like. I just don't love any of them more than any other, I guess.

Favorite kitchen gadget?

I'm not a huge gadget-user, but I have some that I do use. I like my zester, although I'm starting to wish I had a microplane for zesting. And I like my immersion blender because I like cream soups, but I don't get to use it that often. I wish I had a standing mixer for dough, but it's expensive and I wouldn't use it that often. I don't have a radish-rose whatchamahoozits though.

What was your last meal? Did you like it?

Stir-fry a la dorm kitchen. Not bad, given the severe limitations. I've often wished I could have a cooking show where I would cook things with extremely limited equipment, like most people have in their kitchens. Improvisation and the use of pans as the lids of pots was the order of the day (no, not the odor of the day).

What’s your favorite cookie?

Anything chocolate. The only cookies I make are chocolate oatmeal raisin. I'm not sharing the recipe with the masses because I don't know where it is at the moment and it's not mine, but I like me some chocolate cookies. I know some people think double chocolate chip is overkill; they are wrong.

Flash Fiction Friday - Chats with Cats

“I resigned,” Penny crowed, slipping off her blouse and tossing it in the general direction of the hamper. Maximilian said nothing, but he was a quiet one. “God, I’m not sure what I’m going to do now. Maybe art school. I always wanted to be an artist.” She sensed disapproval. “Sure I could,” she said, without waiting for the response. Her skirt was sent flying to join the blouse, leaving her still too warm. “I’d pay my way by modeling.” She struck a pose and giggled.

Maximilian was a cat, so he didn’t see what was so exciting. He would have preferred fish. Penny needed someone like her to appreciate her beauty. But that’s always the way of things.

---

“I resigned,” Penny scowled. “I couldn’t take the pressure.” Maximilian was sympathetic, or at least he seemed that way to her. “Exposing yourself like that is tough.” She reached for her blouse, only to find it covered in cat fur. “Damn it Max, shed someplace else, okay?”

He looked at her with unblinking eyes as if to inquire what she expected. She couldn’t stay mad at him, and, wincing as his claws unthinkingly scored her bare flesh, she picked him up and pressed her nose to his. “You get me,” she said, feeling lost. “Why can’t anyone else get me?”

Maximilian could have told her had he been a human, but if he had been there would have been no need to ask the question in the first place.

---

“I resigned,” Penny said. “Resigned myself to loneliness and talking to Max all day.” She laughed, a free laugh that made her breasts shake and drew a smile from her companion. “He’s a good boy, but he’s not much for conversation.”

“I think he’s cute,” said Jill, lying back on the bed and stretching. “Not as cute as you, of course...”

“You minx,” Penny chortled, slowly turning her gaze from Maximilian to her lover. “Don’t hurt his feelings.”

Maximilian’s feelings weren’t hurt at all as Penny and Jill proceeded to make love for the fourth time that day. He didn’t care. The fish was plentiful with this new woman in the house, and truth be told, quiet was nice sometimes.

---

Three takes, in sequence. I don't have much time to talk about them, but I may amend this exegesis tomorrow; I just wanted to have it written before the deadline.

Flash Fiction Friday: it calms the shakes.

VBA Is an Award, Not a Programming Language

Yeah, I'm that much of a geek. "Visual Basic for Applications?" I thought to myself.

The Versatile Bloggers Award. You all know it. I have no idea why it involves versatility, but it's an awarded thing which makes the rounds, and while I'm not all that interested in basking in my own glory and winning awards for what I think has been not that great a time, blogging-wise, Sephi was nice enough to include me in her list, and we all like Sephi, so if Sephi says I get an award, I guess Sephi gets her way and I get an award. Notice how I never once included a "t" in that name, and how I linked to her a bunch of times? Thus, I both prevented her from killing me and also fulfilled one of the stipulations of the award, which is that I have to link back to the person who awarded it to me. And that person is Sephi. If you awarded it to me in the past and I didn't acknowledge it, I'm really sorry and let me know so I can thank you too. I have been bad at keeping up with things of late, as you know.

Step two, I'm given to understand, is listing seven things about myself. I could just tell you seven things you already know, but hey, let's be creative and see if I can't think of seven things you might not know.

1. My middle name is a family name, comes from trees, and has two syllables. And no one spells it correctly either. And none of those clues will help you guess it, because I won't confirm or deny any guesses. I don't tell people my middle name, even if they know me well. It's like my secret magic name.
2. I'm ticklish. I say this under advisement, because admitting that will probably mean that certain people will tickle me to death now.
3. I can't spell. What you see here is the result of strenuous editing protocols and spell-checker use. I'm better than I used to be, but in the absence of a spell-checker my spelling goes straight to Hell.
4. Flying bugs freak me out a little. I make other people kill wasps and bees that come near me. I can't deal with them.
5. I am absolutely dying to hear Chevelle's new album when it comes out, and if that means I have bad taste, then I pretty much already knew that.
6. I have an absolutely smashing idea for an April Fools prank which I never have the time or energy to execute.
7. I don't think I read enough blogs to award 15 awards. I'm not even particularly sorry about that. Time is precious.

So I can't really accept the award because I don't have enough people to give it to, particularly since a number of my choices already have the award. I guess I'd give the award to everyone on my blogroll over there to the right. And that's not 15, counting the people who already have one.

Okay, I do feel slightly guilty. There are many wonderful blogs out there, the list of which my blogroll is a minuscule sampling. So I'm awarding this award to anyone who wants one. If you have a blog, feel free to put the following award up.

I know that seems like a cop-out, but I genuinely don't have enough blogs to give out an award to. I just wanted to thank Sephi for thinking I was fuckable/friendable, and that I was daring. I love you all, and you all deserve an award, even those of you who don't have blogs.

Also, because PB pointed it out, I'm on another list here. The other people on it are better than I am, but I'm pimping it because I'm on a list! I'd like to thank the Academy...

TMI To Keep My Foot in the Door

I'm still here, but I've really, really fallen out of the habit of writing, apparently. So you may be getting a lot of filler for a while, partially because as I said, I've got little else to talk about, and partially because I just can't do anything else, but I want to keep in the habit before I lose it completely.

1. What is your favorite type of weather?

I like cool, sunny days sometimes. Sometimes I like snow, a lot of it, falling softly and silently. I enjoy nighttime with a full or nearly-full moon, maybe a few clouds in the sky. I prefer it to be cooler, and I don't always mind when it rains. I'm really not sure what my favorite type of weather is, actually. It might have to do with my mood.

2. How do you sustain the motivation and energy needed to write erotica regularly?

Clearly I don't. I wish I were better at sustaining it. I feel more motivated when I have just enough to talk about that I want to tell the story, but not so much that I don't have time to tell any stories at all. And I feel much more motivated by good things, sexy things, that I can talk about. Which is why I started blogging in the first place: to tell sexy stories. How all the emo e/n shit crept in I'll never know.

3. Do you like roleplay? What is your favorite scenario?

I can roleplay, but it's not something I need to do, really. And I don't have a favorite scenario; if I'm roleplaying, I like to always be trying something new. It's like fucking in a costume; I don't want to wear the same thing twice. I might, but I'm hunting for something else.

4. Have you ever been hurt so badly in a past relationship, that it has affected you for the rest of your life?

Yes. At least it has affected me up until now. I work through it all the time, and it doesn't ruin my life; I won't let it. But the past does affect us, and I'd be lying if I said I ever thought I'd completely stop being affected by it. It made me who I am. That's not a good thing or a bad thing; things I did yesterday made me who I am today.

5. What message would you want to put in a fortune cookie?

"It's going to be okay." I think there should be more reassuring fortune cookies. I don't need to hear that I'm going to take a long trip; I want to hear that it'll be okay. Sorry, big old ball of emotions at the moment.

6. How big is your dick?

Quite small, but my balls are enormous. Brass balls I have. Giant, brass, and I'm always waving them around to get people's attention. I believe they call it chutzpah in certain circles, but I've got huge fucking brass balls.

No I don't either.

Bonus: I would like to know, do you have Formspring on your blog? Why or why not?

I don't. All these questions were apparently from Formspring, which I suppose is one of the reasons why I don't. I am perfectly happy with people asking questions (I love it when people ask questions), but Formspring's TOC worried me, and I need another thing like I need another hole in my head. I don't think it's a bad idea, I just don't really see the point. I've got comments and email. Ask away.

Coping

I am, should I say we are because it's not just me, in full-blown coping mode. We are coping. There is startlingly little that's sexy about coping, I'm afraid. It's not particularly pleasant.

I don't want to turn the blog into nothing but my emo shit, so I'm not going to. I know that people don't mind, but I mind. If I've got nothing fun to talk about, I'd rather not talk about it.

I'm fine. I'm coping. Thank you for your thoughts and words. I just don't feel like anything is real at the moment. It's kind of weird.

It Rains

Aunt Jenny died Monday. She just couldn't fight any more. If you're the prayerful type, she'd probably appreciate that, and if you're not, she would understand. Dad is a wreck. The funeral is going to be difficult. I'm really not seeking sympathy or really anything at all, just telling everyone why I haven't been in touch this week. Unlike last week, when it was some other fucking thing. Or the week before when it was something else. Or before that.

I feel terrible because I didn't really get any chance to say goodbye. And I'm a bit frightened of death. Which is a terrible thing to be, really. I should have been able to visit her, to tell her I loved her. Instead, I was scared and I didn't, and now I can't. I'm not sure what our obsession with saying goodbye is; it's not like it would make me feel any better, or make her any less dead. Yes, I'm saying she died. She didn't "pass on" or "go to her reward" or any of that shit. She died. She is no longer alive. That may be brutal, but it's the truth.

I've been spending far too much time with Sveta, and neglecting other things, and I'm pretty sure I've been making her neglect things too. But at this point, I almost don't care. I just want to be happy for a little while.

Anyway, that's what it is.