Sveta and I were having a talk the other day about things that turn us on (why not, right?) and she mentioned that she'd seen some porn with pissing and was interested in it, in an intellectual sort of way. She asked me why I liked it, having seen by now the blog posts where I talk about it. And my brain came to a crashing halt.
Because, see, I'm not sure why I like it. It's been so long since I did anything involving watersports. A long time. I know I enjoyed it once, and I still find it sexy, in a sort of naughty way. But do I want Sveta to piss in my mouth?
Sveta says she's up for anything, but Sveta wants to make me happy, and I'm not sure I care enough to get back into it with her. And that still doesn't answer the question of what about it makes me turned on. I admit that watching a man piss onto a willing woman (and sometimes even a restrained one, although that's darker territory that I don't enjoy even as I enjoy it) turns me on. And in the past, I wanted to be that woman. But why?
Maybe it's degradation. Maybe I want to degrade myself. And as I get older, I don't really want to degrade anyone as much. I don't want to be called a slut, or slapped, or hit, or any of the other rough things I might once have been up for. I don't want anonymous, rough, degrading sex. But the idea still turns me on.
Or maybe it's sexualization of an activity that isn't sexual. Maybe watersports, like masturbating to Disney movies or getting off on wearing certain non-sexual clothes, is a relic of my past. I'm not saying I mind that sex creeps into other things; it's a part of life, and the way I live, it's bound to get wound up in other aspects of my life.
Maybe I once had an answer. Or maybe I never thought about it. But either way, I'm not sure now. In fact, I'm not totally sure why a lot of things turn me on. Most of them just do. Is it a bad thing to over-analyze your predilections, or is it worse to under-analyze them?
So I told her I didn't know why, and that I hadn't done it in a while, and that I'd be happy to do whatever she'd like, but I wasn't in desperate need of it or anything. Which wasn't a very good answer, so I said that maybe I should tell her some stories about it and she could judge for herself, and after some stories, with assorted questions, she said that she might like to try it some time, but the idea of drinking piss kind of squicked her. To which I replied that I understood that completely, because frankly, at this point, the idea squicks me a little too, and it probably squicked me when I was younger, but I was so intent on proving that I could do anything that I just did it and acquired a taste for it.
But maybe it's not like riding a bicycle. Maybe it's a taste which faded as I got out of practice. And if I don't miss it, much, then I might be content to just let it fade away. Unless, of course, someone wants to try it after reading this, in which case, we'll start slow.
1 comment:
It's sexy because it is intimate, an intimacy not often shared, at once a taboo but wrapped around the most basic of biological needs. We drink, we piss, so basic and base, that to sexualize it makes us entirely sexual creatures, and when you give in to that last stage of sexuality, all bets are off and anything goes.
I've never liked the swallowing part, but watching a beautiful woman pee on a balcony, or outside, or in the middle of her kitchen just does something powerful to me.
It goes back, for me, when Michelle, a girl I had a massive crush on, would come back from a bathroom break and tell me how it felt to pee. I was too young to react right (bang her crazy), but it stuck with me all these years.
Post a Comment