TMI Tuesday

From the vaults.

1. Sex. What are your areas of expertise?

I give great head, I've been told.  Either gender.  And I'm just pretty good at sex.  I've had practice.  I'm not the best, nor am I the best I know, but I'm pretty darned good if I do say so myself, and it's not just me saying it.  I think I might be better at anal than the average gal in the street.  I'm also good with people who don't know what they're doing.  I'm a pretty patient lover and I give instructions if necessary.

2. How long have you been having sex?

Since I hit puberty.  So a while.  Let's leave it at that.

3. What time of day do you prefer to have sex?
a. morning
b. afternoon
c. night

I think I might prefer nighttime sex just because I'm a night owl and I'm most awake then.  But I'm not too picky.

4. Do you charge for sex? Money or some other means of payment?

I did it once.  I talked about that in the blog a long time ago.  Short version: it made me feel a little dirty.  I'm a weirdo who doesn't like to do things she enjoys for money because money ruins things.  That isn't just sexual.

But that said, in my darker times I've thought about fucking people for money because it's something I'm pretty good at, have experience doing, and if I had a resume that didn't lie about that kind of thing I think I might be able to get a job doing it.  Plus it's decent money if you do it right, and I could use money.

All that said, I'm not likely to.  It's illegal and somewhat dangerous.  If it were a regular job, I might think about it.  I wish I lived in a time when temple whores were a thing because I think I could get into sacred sex.

5. How long does your average sexual encounter last?

As long as it needs to.  Seriously, my average sexual encounter can be anything from a few minutes to a few hours to all day.  Sometimes a quickie is what's called for.  Sometimes an all-day romp is.  People stress out too much about the time it takes to fuck.  Sure, I like for a guy to be able to last more than a few thrusts, but that's not all that sex is, and you can have an all-day romp with a premature ejaculator which is very nice for everyone.  Stop worrying about it.  If your partner is enjoying him or herself, make sure they keep enjoying themselves.

That said, I sympathize with those who can't last a long time because the act of sex is enjoyable and I wouldn't want it to be over too soon.  And it seems like the scientific consensus is starting to tilt toward there being not much one can do if one is a two-pump Johnny.  Which sucks for you because there's more to sex than cumming.  But you can still be a great lover.  Talk with your partner.  Ejaculation is the goal but the journey doesn't have to go straight into the tunnel, as it were.

6. Do you have a safe word? What is it?

The few times I could have used a safe word I didn't have one.  The other times I haven't needed one.  That's not a good way to go about it at all, kids.  If you're going to get into something where a safe word is a good idea, come up with one with your partner or partners.  And everyone, unless you're playing a scene or something, your safe word should be "Stop."  Or "no."  If you hear that, stop.  I read a great article that I wish I could link to about consent not being something you give up.  If you're halfway through the deed, cock in pussy, and you want to stop, that's when it stops.  Either party.  It can be totally vanilla.  Consent is something you have to keep giving, and if you stop giving it, that's not wrong.  You can be raped halfway through.  And you shouldn't have to be.  Partners, when you hear consent withdrawn, pull up, do not pass Go, and usually there's something to talk about and maybe, if you treat your partner with respect, another session without stopping may be in your future.  Or not.  Either way, stop.

Bonus: Ever had sex so good you broke things or something?

Good lord, where to begin?  I've broken a bed before.  I think I talked about that somewhere in the archives.  Short version: it wasn't weight, it was energy.  We were up against the headboard and there was a creak and a crash and then we were tilted at a strange angle.  And then we got up, dusted ourselves off, and pulled the mattress off the bed and kept going.  Because fuck weak beds.

I've broken picture frames shaking walls, and bumped into china while in the moment.  Frankly, sex doesn't have to be great to break things when you're as klutzy as I am.  I've spilled too many drinks to count.  So many stains on things.

But I've never broken myself or my partner while fucking, and that's my gold standard.