This one's probably not going to be a sexy one (although with me you never know). But if you want a glimpse of how Lexi's brain ticks, read on.
From the vaults:
1. What are you most afraid of?
Death? Probably death. Or I would likely have killed myself previously. I've been in bad situations in my life, and fear of death might be the reason I'm still here. I'd like to think that love has pulled me out of some of them too, but love is a long process and suicide is disturbingly easy to jump into without thinking, so a healthy fear of death might be an asset.
Other than that, which encompasses a lot of other fears, I'm pretty scared of heights, which is ironic because I spend a lot of my time on ladders and above stages. I'm also creeped out by flying bugs. Maybe not terrified, but I love spiders because they eat flying things, so I'm the polar opposite of many people. I can get a little claustrophobic at times. I think most of my phobias are things I can suppress if I'm concentrating on something else, say work.
2. Do you believe in life after death?
I don't think I believe in it. There might be something after death, but I'm pretty sure it's not life. No offense to anyone who believes in reincarnation. But I don't think Heaven is a house in the burbs.
3. What is your purpose?
I have no idea. Really none. If I did, the next question would be easier to answer.
4. Where are you going?
Nowhere? If I knew what my purpose was, I might be moving toward fulfilling that, but I don't. I hope I'm moving forward.
5. Do you fear hell? Why or why not?
I don't believe in hell like fire and brimstone. I've got long, complicated reasons for that. But I do believe that, if there's something after life, then there's no hell where sinners go. That said, I believe in the hell we make for ourselves.
6. Do you feel free?
As free as anyone else. I think freedom is overrated. Not that I think slavery is great, but that we make a big fuss about this idea of freedom when we should be worried about justice. Or when we're doing first world problems. For me to say, "I don't feel free," would be like me saying, "Sometimes I get an itch."
And the freedom we frequently desire isn't a meaningful freedom. We want the freedom to live without consequences, or freedom which is really privilege. It's like complaining that life isn't fair. We want life to be fair in our favor, and we want freedom to allow us to do anything. Neither of those things is reasonable.
So sure, I feel free. What a strange question.
Bonus: Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don’t point to their crotch when asking where is the bathroom?
A few things come to mind. First, we wear watches, but we don't wear urethrae. So we're not pointing to our wrists, we're pointing to a watch in abstract. Second, by pointing to our wrist we're signaling that we aren't wearing a watch and thus need aid in knowing what time it is. Third, it's decorous to point at one's wrist, but the genitalia are taboo in polite society. I would venture a guess that younger children may signal their desire to go to the bathroom by pointing at their crotches because they haven't fully internalized manners surrounding the subject.
This isn't taking into account people who don't think of wrist watches. I would say that it's both true that some statistically significant subset of the population points at watch, and that a statistically insignificant subset points at crotch, and therefore the question is a valid one, even if the reasons might not be more interesting than, "Because it's rude to gesture to your genitals."
Tuesday, November 29, 2016
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
TMI Tuesday
From the vault:
1. Do you think sex is less important after age 50? Why or why not?
Why, because menopause? Come on, sex is important no matter how old you are. For me, anyway. No judgments on people who don't care about it much one way or the other. But if you're over 50 and want sex but think it should somehow be less important to you, don't let them tell you that. Ladies and gentlemen, all sides of the equation deserve good sex for as long as they want it, regardless of age.
2. Were you ever squeamish about sex? At what age (or age range)?
I've never been squeamish about it. I think when I first got "the talk" I had already figured out that my pussy was a fun thing, and it sounded like a lot of fun to explore. But I'm weird.
3. When did you quit being squeamish and start to relax and enjoy sex?
I was, as I said above, never squeamish, but I did have trouble relaxing about it for a while for other reasons. It was anticipation and nervousness. I wasn't squeamish and I wasn't terribly nervous that it would hurt or anything, but I was nervous both that I would be lousy at it (I still am, shockingly) and that it wouldn't be as good as it was cracked up to be. I got that way before my first time, but my first time helped with a lot of that. And then I continued to be nervous about it with other partners for a while, but eventually I just realized that it didn't matter that much. My rather off-hand attitude about sex may have started early but it took a while for it to sink in fully. Hell, there's still baggage. I'm not perfect. But I've realized that sex is just another thing we do, and if it's lousy, that doesn't mean sex is lousy, just that it was a lousy time.
I still do get nervous around people I care about because I want to please them, or because I'm afraid that I'll get attached to them. I don't think I have a fear of commitment, but I do have various other baggage which makes commitment harder. Thankfully, I'm pretty committed at this point, so all I have to worry about is other people getting attached to me and me having to tell them gently that, no, I'm not fucking you because I love you. That's hard for some people to hear, but I don't mean it as an insult. I have sex with people where it means nothing, but I also have sex where it means something but not romantically. I'll fuck friends. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but I've been lucky enough to keep a lot of my friends where it has, or at least not to lose them because we had sex.
Also, what kind of question is this? "When did you stop beating your wife, senator?"
4. What is sex worth to you?
Everything and nothing. I love it and I really can't live without it, but it means less to me than for a lot of people. It's odd.
I feel the same way about food. I love food and I wouldn't survive without it, but I can cheerfully eat food which is cheap and easy, and not just because I have to eat something. It's not such a big fucking deal. I guess that's all I'm saying. I love it, but it's not a big deal.
5. What do you seek in exchange for sex?
From me? Well, I tried prostitution once and didn't enjoy it, so maybe just mutual pleasure? I don't know. I don't fuck for gain. I fuck because I enjoy it. I'd like to have sex with people who are interested in making me feel good, but I expect the same from myself, so I'm not sure what to answer.
6. Is your sex life better or worse now vs. five years ago? Why?
Worse because of the medical stuff. Boring answer. If it weren't for that, the same or better, I imagine. I've lost some ready opportunities in five years, but I've also gained some exciting possibilities. Plus being with Sveta means the hottest fucking this side of the Pecos, so that's a big item in the plus column there.
7. Would you answer your mobile phone (a call or text) if it rang/dinged while you were having sex?
Depends. How big a deal is it? If I'm on a date or we're hot and heavy and sex is what we're doing, then no, what kind of monster does that? If we're fucking to pass the time, sure. Or if for some reason I was expecting a call and it was part of the sex. Like if Mike said he was going to call me while Sveta and I were fucking, we'd put him on speaker. Something like that.
I guess it depends on context, like a lot of manners. For some people, there's one kind of sex and it's like being in a board meeting with your partner. Hold my calls. And that's valid. I have sex like that. But there's something incredibly sexy about having a normal phone conversation while someone is trying to destroy your composure, and I recommend that too, although try to do it in a low-risk way if you're an amateur, or you'll wind up fired or something.
Bonus: What is the one thing you wish your love interest understood about you?
That I don't blame her for my issues. I'm not going to air my dirty laundry here any more than I already do, but I do wish that Sveta understood that the fact that she can't help me with some things doesn't mean I don't want her help, or that she's a failure. I've told her this, so this isn't news, but I know she still feels bad about it sometimes. But that's okay. I know she knows and she knows I know, and I do the same thing sometimes.
When you tie your emotional life to someone, they're going to feel bad when you feel bad. That's both natural and to be admired. That's part of love, right there. I feel bad when I can't help Sveta with a problem too. But you have to be careful not to let it spiral out of control. It's a negative feedback loop. If she feels bad that I feel bad, then I feel bad that she feels bad, and pretty soon we're both feeling terrible.
I'm not a couples' councilor or an advice columnist, but it seems to me that you can either try to help any way you can and tie your happiness to trying to improve the situation in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it helps with the central problem; or you can just call a halt to the feedback loop and say, "Okay, I'm sorry you feel bad, but I'm not going to let it make me feel any worse than that." That seems callous, but it's not healthy to be so co-dependent that you can't be happy if your partner isn't. That can motivate you to improve situations where you have some control, certainly, so I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't care about your partner's well-being or happiness. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do but try to make their lives better by being positive yourself, and you can't do that if you're sad that they're sad. Acknowledge the problem and that they feel bad about it, but don't crash yourself. They need your strength, even if they don't ask for it.
I say all of that, but don't do as I do, kids, because I don't do that. I go into plenty of spirals. I'm mentally ill. I'm weak. But I keep trying.
That got heavy. If you've got any questions so I don't have to keep answering these impersonal ones, please let me know in the usual ways.
1. Do you think sex is less important after age 50? Why or why not?
Why, because menopause? Come on, sex is important no matter how old you are. For me, anyway. No judgments on people who don't care about it much one way or the other. But if you're over 50 and want sex but think it should somehow be less important to you, don't let them tell you that. Ladies and gentlemen, all sides of the equation deserve good sex for as long as they want it, regardless of age.
2. Were you ever squeamish about sex? At what age (or age range)?
I've never been squeamish about it. I think when I first got "the talk" I had already figured out that my pussy was a fun thing, and it sounded like a lot of fun to explore. But I'm weird.
3. When did you quit being squeamish and start to relax and enjoy sex?
I was, as I said above, never squeamish, but I did have trouble relaxing about it for a while for other reasons. It was anticipation and nervousness. I wasn't squeamish and I wasn't terribly nervous that it would hurt or anything, but I was nervous both that I would be lousy at it (I still am, shockingly) and that it wouldn't be as good as it was cracked up to be. I got that way before my first time, but my first time helped with a lot of that. And then I continued to be nervous about it with other partners for a while, but eventually I just realized that it didn't matter that much. My rather off-hand attitude about sex may have started early but it took a while for it to sink in fully. Hell, there's still baggage. I'm not perfect. But I've realized that sex is just another thing we do, and if it's lousy, that doesn't mean sex is lousy, just that it was a lousy time.
I still do get nervous around people I care about because I want to please them, or because I'm afraid that I'll get attached to them. I don't think I have a fear of commitment, but I do have various other baggage which makes commitment harder. Thankfully, I'm pretty committed at this point, so all I have to worry about is other people getting attached to me and me having to tell them gently that, no, I'm not fucking you because I love you. That's hard for some people to hear, but I don't mean it as an insult. I have sex with people where it means nothing, but I also have sex where it means something but not romantically. I'll fuck friends. Sometimes it doesn't work out, but I've been lucky enough to keep a lot of my friends where it has, or at least not to lose them because we had sex.
Also, what kind of question is this? "When did you stop beating your wife, senator?"
4. What is sex worth to you?
Everything and nothing. I love it and I really can't live without it, but it means less to me than for a lot of people. It's odd.
I feel the same way about food. I love food and I wouldn't survive without it, but I can cheerfully eat food which is cheap and easy, and not just because I have to eat something. It's not such a big fucking deal. I guess that's all I'm saying. I love it, but it's not a big deal.
5. What do you seek in exchange for sex?
From me? Well, I tried prostitution once and didn't enjoy it, so maybe just mutual pleasure? I don't know. I don't fuck for gain. I fuck because I enjoy it. I'd like to have sex with people who are interested in making me feel good, but I expect the same from myself, so I'm not sure what to answer.
6. Is your sex life better or worse now vs. five years ago? Why?
Worse because of the medical stuff. Boring answer. If it weren't for that, the same or better, I imagine. I've lost some ready opportunities in five years, but I've also gained some exciting possibilities. Plus being with Sveta means the hottest fucking this side of the Pecos, so that's a big item in the plus column there.
7. Would you answer your mobile phone (a call or text) if it rang/dinged while you were having sex?
Depends. How big a deal is it? If I'm on a date or we're hot and heavy and sex is what we're doing, then no, what kind of monster does that? If we're fucking to pass the time, sure. Or if for some reason I was expecting a call and it was part of the sex. Like if Mike said he was going to call me while Sveta and I were fucking, we'd put him on speaker. Something like that.
I guess it depends on context, like a lot of manners. For some people, there's one kind of sex and it's like being in a board meeting with your partner. Hold my calls. And that's valid. I have sex like that. But there's something incredibly sexy about having a normal phone conversation while someone is trying to destroy your composure, and I recommend that too, although try to do it in a low-risk way if you're an amateur, or you'll wind up fired or something.
Bonus: What is the one thing you wish your love interest understood about you?
That I don't blame her for my issues. I'm not going to air my dirty laundry here any more than I already do, but I do wish that Sveta understood that the fact that she can't help me with some things doesn't mean I don't want her help, or that she's a failure. I've told her this, so this isn't news, but I know she still feels bad about it sometimes. But that's okay. I know she knows and she knows I know, and I do the same thing sometimes.
When you tie your emotional life to someone, they're going to feel bad when you feel bad. That's both natural and to be admired. That's part of love, right there. I feel bad when I can't help Sveta with a problem too. But you have to be careful not to let it spiral out of control. It's a negative feedback loop. If she feels bad that I feel bad, then I feel bad that she feels bad, and pretty soon we're both feeling terrible.
I'm not a couples' councilor or an advice columnist, but it seems to me that you can either try to help any way you can and tie your happiness to trying to improve the situation in some way, even if it doesn't seem like it helps with the central problem; or you can just call a halt to the feedback loop and say, "Okay, I'm sorry you feel bad, but I'm not going to let it make me feel any worse than that." That seems callous, but it's not healthy to be so co-dependent that you can't be happy if your partner isn't. That can motivate you to improve situations where you have some control, certainly, so I'm not at all saying that you shouldn't care about your partner's well-being or happiness. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do but try to make their lives better by being positive yourself, and you can't do that if you're sad that they're sad. Acknowledge the problem and that they feel bad about it, but don't crash yourself. They need your strength, even if they don't ask for it.
I say all of that, but don't do as I do, kids, because I don't do that. I go into plenty of spirals. I'm mentally ill. I'm weak. But I keep trying.
That got heavy. If you've got any questions so I don't have to keep answering these impersonal ones, please let me know in the usual ways.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
Babysitting
So Kate invited me over to have dinner, which means of course that she invited me over and dinner might get served, or we might order a pizza if we could manage to get our clothes on for long enough for it to be delivered. Sex was definitely happening. And fortunately I didn't have somewhere else I needed to be (my job is irregular at best) so I said absolutely. I could use a good hard fuck by a young cock.
But then Kate had to deal with an emergency. She called me as I was leaving and said, "Um... still come over, but I won't be there. Maybe you can babysit the boys while I'm gone."
Liam is old enough that he can watch the house for a few hours. Hell, Kevin is old enough that he can be left alone in the house for a few hours. But Kate said she would be back and bring food, at some point in the evening, and since I was already going to come over I should just come over and I'm sure I could entertain myself while she was gone. Yeah, that was going to be hard. Pun intended.
"Kevin's in his room playing video games," Liam said when he opened the door. Then he kissed me, passionately. "Mom's been really busy this week, and..." Poor kid.
"You're horny as hell?" I finished. "Let me close the door before you do that," I continued, because he was already sliding his hand between my legs. Oh, youngsters. They don't know how to wait.
I was all ready to suck his cock, but he said, "That's all Mom has had time for. Mostly."
"Mostly?"
"Well, we fuck before bed most days, and sometimes in the morning before school she lets me wake up early so we can do it quick, but mostly she's busy."
"Well then, what do you want me to do?"
"Um... can I do it once before I eat you out? I'm sorry, I know, I should make you happy first, but..."
She's training him well. "Ordinarily, I'd say you should make the girl happy first, but honey, I'm plenty happy with that big cock of yours inside me." He was wearing sweat pants and the bulge in them was visible from space. "Do you want to go to the bedroom?"
He didn't answer, just grabbed my hand and practically dragged me into the bedroom. In anticipation of fun, I was wearing casual clothes and no underwear, so I was naked pretty quickly, as was Liam, and we kissed for a moment before he was practically humping my leg. "Okay, down boy," I told him, then I lay back, spread my legs, and because I'm a giant classy bitch I beckoned with one finger.
And then my world was thoroughly rocked. God, I go far too long between good sessions with a nice hard cock. We fucked missionary for a while, with him going to town on my tits, then he said, "I can't help it. I'm gonna cum. Do you want..."
Like he was apologizing for being on a hair trigger. Never mind that he'd fucked me for longer than I expected, and I was warming up nicely. I just smiled and said, "Give me that load in my pussy, big boy." I like to encourage the young with dirty talk. Plus I know he likes being complimented. He grunted and my god was it a load, warm and thick and wonderful. He looked like he was ready to move down and do his cumswapping trick, but I stopped him. "Just stay inside me for a bit," I purred. I purred.
"Don't you like it when I eat it out of you?" he asked, like he was doing something wrong.
"Baby, I love it. But don't rush. Let me just feel it oozing around in there for a minute."
"Mom says I've got a taste for it," he said.
"Nothing wrong with that. Ever interested in tasting other people's?"
"Yeah. I've been having to, you know, to myself, and I like going into my hand and then licking it up."
"Well then, you don't need to bring it up to me. And don't let anyone tell you it's wrong either. Most guys just don't have the balls."
And he went between my legs and started licking and scooping it out of me, then when I was pretty much cleaned up he came up and kissed me, cum on his lips, but most of it he'd definitely swallowed.
We lay there for a bit, just sort of snuggling and touching, and chatted. Then I said, "Okay, now that the pressure is off a little, I'm going to go say hi to your brother. And then round two, because I know you want more."
I won't lie: I strutted a little on my way out of the room, just to give him a tease. "Your butt is so pretty," he said behind me. Bless him. I like compliments too. I blew him a kiss over my shoulder.
Kevin was in his room. "Hi Lexi," he said, without looking up. He wasn't playing video games. He was looking at gay porn on his computer.
"I see someone has the parental locks off," I said, kidding him.
"Mom said I can look at it all I want," he said. "Since I've got nothing else." That was depressing.
"Honey, I know. It's tough. Any new friends?"
"No. The boys at school are all so interested in girls. I can't tell them or they'd make fun of me."
My heart broke a little. "You know that Liam and your mom don't hate you, right? I don't hate you. I love you."
"I know. I wish you were a boy though." Out of the mouths of nearly-babes.
"I told you, if there's anything I can do..."
"I know. Um... can I look at this stuff with you?"
"Have you got questions?"
"No, just... I mean, even though you're a girl, it would be better to do it with someone else, you know?"
What the hell was I supposed to do? "I could... help you out. You can pretend that I'm a boy and just look at the porn and I can maybe help?"
Kevin was torn. I could tell. "Like how?"
"You look at the guys on the screen and just pretend that it's a boy who's sucking you off." And I bent over and took his cock in my hand.
"Okay," he said. "Thanks."
So I blew a gay boy while he looked at hardcore gay porn. It didn't take long; he was clearly doing this before I came in. I got his cock in my mouth and sucked a little and he put on the video again, and all I could hear was ridiculous grunting noises above me for a minute or so, then he stiffened and shot in my mouth. His cock isn't as big as his brother's, but he sure can produce semen.
"Was that okay?" I asked him after cleaning up.
"Yeah."
"Anything else I can do for you?"
"Like what?"
"Like let you fuck my ass?" Yes, I'd love it to be a perfect world where I could find him a nice boy to be his first time, but I felt bad for him.
"No thanks. I'm okay." So there it was.
"I know it's tough. Believe me, if I find a nice boy, you are first on my list of calls."
"No, I mean... I really wanted to find one myself, you know?"
"I do." I smiled. "But any time you want to use my mouth as a release, you just let me know."
"I will. It felt nice." And we left it at that.
I went back to the bedroom and Liam was raring to go, as I expected. I just got on all fours and said, "Go to it." Which he interpreted, adorably, as me telling him to start giving me sloppy but enthusiastic oral. He's got a natural gift, and he's not shy. Good boy. And he is totally down with rimming. After a minute of him just sticking his tongue in my asshole, I said, "Okay, the ass is prepared. Come on kiddo, spread me!"
So he laughed and got behind me, and pretty soon his teen cock was buried in my colon. "Mom only lets me do this on special occasions," he said, holding my hips and grinding in. Then he started thrusting and all of it just put me over the edge, although I was recalled to the edge quite quickly. "Wow, it feels amazing when you cum," he said.
"Harder please," I said, hoping to replace pain with pleasure.
Eventually we shifted to spooning, his cock thrusting into my ass and without having to do anything but thrust, thrust he did. He was like a jackhammer. I almost came again but didn't, but the chase was enjoyable. And that's how his mom found us, pizza box in hand, grin on face. "Let him finish up," I panted, and she put the box down and, still wearing street clothes, put her head between my thighs and grabbed his balls without a word.
He didn't last long after that, not that I blame him. I was hoping for a load in my ass, but Kate must have sensed him getting close, and she practically begged him, "Cum in mommy's mouth, baby." So he pulled out and splashed her face. His aim wasn't great; more of it wound up on her blouse and chin than in her mouth, but she didn't seem to care.
Then we had pizza. Then Kate said, "What a day I've had. I need an orgasm, guys."
"Don't we all," I said, laughing.
"I've had two already," said Liam.
"I had one," said Kevin, getting into the spirit of it.
"Well then, I'm behind. Someone give Mom an orgasm please."
"I get her all the time," Liam said to me. "You go. I'll just..."
"You'll just get that cock in her pussy while she goes down on me," said Kate, mock-sternly.
Kate is pretty easy. I wasn't particularly distracted by Liam's cock, and I was able to get Kate off twice in short order before she stopped me. "Is Liam still hard?" she asked.
"What do you think?"
She pushed Liam away from my rear and sat on his cock. "Give mommy the cream," she said.
Kevin was still there, and I went over to him. "So this is what it's like?" I asked.
"Yeah, pretty much," he said, but he was smiling.
"Want me to do what we did again?"
"No, not really. Sorry. I think I'm going to go back to my room."
"Baby, you don't have to go." Kate hopped off of Liam again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You know I love you too, right?"
"I know mom, jeez." It was kind of cute how embarrassed he was that his mother was making a fuss over him; it almost made one forget that we were all buck-naked and Kate's pussy was dripping from her son's cock. "I'm just going back to..."
"Okay, okay," Kate laughed, seeing that Kevin was still a bit shy about jerking off.
I actually went back to Kevin's room with him briefly. "I tell you what," I said. "Next time I come over, I'll bring you something to play with, okay?"
"Like what?"
"You'll see." I grinned, he grinned, and we left it at that. I'm totally getting Kevin a little toy. Hell, I'm getting one for Liam too, because that boy needs to give some prostate play a try. He's dying for it. At this rate I'm going to give away all my toys. But I have a bunch of beginner butt toys which Sveta and I have no real use for, so might as well make sure they have good homes.
I came back and Kate was cleaning Liam off with her tongue. "How's he going?" she asked.
"He's fine. I think he's a little jealous."
"But he doesn't want me."
"I know. He just wishes he could play too."
"I'm screwing this up."
"No, no. Just... maybe make some extra time for him. You know, not sex stuff." Yeah, that's why I'm not a parental councilor. It seemed like the thing to say.
"Okay," said Kate. "Liam, be nice to your brother. You get me and he gets nothing, and that's not fair."
"Okay mom, come on, I'm not stopping him."
It was a bit like my family. I remember having conversations with my parents about how I had to let Mike have some time with the other girls, and I had the same reaction. Ah, to be young again.
Kate offered to go down on me, but I was pretty well done, unless a cock was going to be involved, and Liam looked a little worn out. I couldn't spend the night or I might have gotten another helping. But we sat around and talked for a while, then I got my clothes back on and left.
I honestly wonder whether Liam and Kevin will ever experiment. Liam, I think, would happily suck Kevin's cock, and he might even be into getting fucked in the ass. But I'm not pushing for it. I don't know if it would be the right thing to do, but if it happens, let it happen because they want it, not because anyone else does, or suggests it. Yes, it would be a solution to one problem, but I'm not sure it would solve anything.
And I'm not going to offer to suck Kevin off again. If he brings it up, I'll happily do it, but I shouldn't have offered in the first place. I've been enough gay guys' "experiment" to know that it's not really a solution.
But I have got to make arrangements to go over there more often, because I need cock in my life and Liam's is very nice. I wonder how long it will be before he finds a girl his own age. She'll be lucky, let me tell you. I wonder how Kate will handle that. I hope well.
But then Kate had to deal with an emergency. She called me as I was leaving and said, "Um... still come over, but I won't be there. Maybe you can babysit the boys while I'm gone."
Liam is old enough that he can watch the house for a few hours. Hell, Kevin is old enough that he can be left alone in the house for a few hours. But Kate said she would be back and bring food, at some point in the evening, and since I was already going to come over I should just come over and I'm sure I could entertain myself while she was gone. Yeah, that was going to be hard. Pun intended.
"Kevin's in his room playing video games," Liam said when he opened the door. Then he kissed me, passionately. "Mom's been really busy this week, and..." Poor kid.
"You're horny as hell?" I finished. "Let me close the door before you do that," I continued, because he was already sliding his hand between my legs. Oh, youngsters. They don't know how to wait.
I was all ready to suck his cock, but he said, "That's all Mom has had time for. Mostly."
"Mostly?"
"Well, we fuck before bed most days, and sometimes in the morning before school she lets me wake up early so we can do it quick, but mostly she's busy."
"Well then, what do you want me to do?"
"Um... can I do it once before I eat you out? I'm sorry, I know, I should make you happy first, but..."
She's training him well. "Ordinarily, I'd say you should make the girl happy first, but honey, I'm plenty happy with that big cock of yours inside me." He was wearing sweat pants and the bulge in them was visible from space. "Do you want to go to the bedroom?"
He didn't answer, just grabbed my hand and practically dragged me into the bedroom. In anticipation of fun, I was wearing casual clothes and no underwear, so I was naked pretty quickly, as was Liam, and we kissed for a moment before he was practically humping my leg. "Okay, down boy," I told him, then I lay back, spread my legs, and because I'm a giant classy bitch I beckoned with one finger.
And then my world was thoroughly rocked. God, I go far too long between good sessions with a nice hard cock. We fucked missionary for a while, with him going to town on my tits, then he said, "I can't help it. I'm gonna cum. Do you want..."
Like he was apologizing for being on a hair trigger. Never mind that he'd fucked me for longer than I expected, and I was warming up nicely. I just smiled and said, "Give me that load in my pussy, big boy." I like to encourage the young with dirty talk. Plus I know he likes being complimented. He grunted and my god was it a load, warm and thick and wonderful. He looked like he was ready to move down and do his cumswapping trick, but I stopped him. "Just stay inside me for a bit," I purred. I purred.
"Don't you like it when I eat it out of you?" he asked, like he was doing something wrong.
"Baby, I love it. But don't rush. Let me just feel it oozing around in there for a minute."
"Mom says I've got a taste for it," he said.
"Nothing wrong with that. Ever interested in tasting other people's?"
"Yeah. I've been having to, you know, to myself, and I like going into my hand and then licking it up."
"Well then, you don't need to bring it up to me. And don't let anyone tell you it's wrong either. Most guys just don't have the balls."
And he went between my legs and started licking and scooping it out of me, then when I was pretty much cleaned up he came up and kissed me, cum on his lips, but most of it he'd definitely swallowed.
We lay there for a bit, just sort of snuggling and touching, and chatted. Then I said, "Okay, now that the pressure is off a little, I'm going to go say hi to your brother. And then round two, because I know you want more."
I won't lie: I strutted a little on my way out of the room, just to give him a tease. "Your butt is so pretty," he said behind me. Bless him. I like compliments too. I blew him a kiss over my shoulder.
Kevin was in his room. "Hi Lexi," he said, without looking up. He wasn't playing video games. He was looking at gay porn on his computer.
"I see someone has the parental locks off," I said, kidding him.
"Mom said I can look at it all I want," he said. "Since I've got nothing else." That was depressing.
"Honey, I know. It's tough. Any new friends?"
"No. The boys at school are all so interested in girls. I can't tell them or they'd make fun of me."
My heart broke a little. "You know that Liam and your mom don't hate you, right? I don't hate you. I love you."
"I know. I wish you were a boy though." Out of the mouths of nearly-babes.
"I told you, if there's anything I can do..."
"I know. Um... can I look at this stuff with you?"
"Have you got questions?"
"No, just... I mean, even though you're a girl, it would be better to do it with someone else, you know?"
What the hell was I supposed to do? "I could... help you out. You can pretend that I'm a boy and just look at the porn and I can maybe help?"
Kevin was torn. I could tell. "Like how?"
"You look at the guys on the screen and just pretend that it's a boy who's sucking you off." And I bent over and took his cock in my hand.
"Okay," he said. "Thanks."
So I blew a gay boy while he looked at hardcore gay porn. It didn't take long; he was clearly doing this before I came in. I got his cock in my mouth and sucked a little and he put on the video again, and all I could hear was ridiculous grunting noises above me for a minute or so, then he stiffened and shot in my mouth. His cock isn't as big as his brother's, but he sure can produce semen.
"Was that okay?" I asked him after cleaning up.
"Yeah."
"Anything else I can do for you?"
"Like what?"
"Like let you fuck my ass?" Yes, I'd love it to be a perfect world where I could find him a nice boy to be his first time, but I felt bad for him.
"No thanks. I'm okay." So there it was.
"I know it's tough. Believe me, if I find a nice boy, you are first on my list of calls."
"No, I mean... I really wanted to find one myself, you know?"
"I do." I smiled. "But any time you want to use my mouth as a release, you just let me know."
"I will. It felt nice." And we left it at that.
I went back to the bedroom and Liam was raring to go, as I expected. I just got on all fours and said, "Go to it." Which he interpreted, adorably, as me telling him to start giving me sloppy but enthusiastic oral. He's got a natural gift, and he's not shy. Good boy. And he is totally down with rimming. After a minute of him just sticking his tongue in my asshole, I said, "Okay, the ass is prepared. Come on kiddo, spread me!"
So he laughed and got behind me, and pretty soon his teen cock was buried in my colon. "Mom only lets me do this on special occasions," he said, holding my hips and grinding in. Then he started thrusting and all of it just put me over the edge, although I was recalled to the edge quite quickly. "Wow, it feels amazing when you cum," he said.
"Harder please," I said, hoping to replace pain with pleasure.
Eventually we shifted to spooning, his cock thrusting into my ass and without having to do anything but thrust, thrust he did. He was like a jackhammer. I almost came again but didn't, but the chase was enjoyable. And that's how his mom found us, pizza box in hand, grin on face. "Let him finish up," I panted, and she put the box down and, still wearing street clothes, put her head between my thighs and grabbed his balls without a word.
He didn't last long after that, not that I blame him. I was hoping for a load in my ass, but Kate must have sensed him getting close, and she practically begged him, "Cum in mommy's mouth, baby." So he pulled out and splashed her face. His aim wasn't great; more of it wound up on her blouse and chin than in her mouth, but she didn't seem to care.
Then we had pizza. Then Kate said, "What a day I've had. I need an orgasm, guys."
"Don't we all," I said, laughing.
"I've had two already," said Liam.
"I had one," said Kevin, getting into the spirit of it.
"Well then, I'm behind. Someone give Mom an orgasm please."
"I get her all the time," Liam said to me. "You go. I'll just..."
"You'll just get that cock in her pussy while she goes down on me," said Kate, mock-sternly.
Kate is pretty easy. I wasn't particularly distracted by Liam's cock, and I was able to get Kate off twice in short order before she stopped me. "Is Liam still hard?" she asked.
"What do you think?"
She pushed Liam away from my rear and sat on his cock. "Give mommy the cream," she said.
Kevin was still there, and I went over to him. "So this is what it's like?" I asked.
"Yeah, pretty much," he said, but he was smiling.
"Want me to do what we did again?"
"No, not really. Sorry. I think I'm going to go back to my room."
"Baby, you don't have to go." Kate hopped off of Liam again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You know I love you too, right?"
"I know mom, jeez." It was kind of cute how embarrassed he was that his mother was making a fuss over him; it almost made one forget that we were all buck-naked and Kate's pussy was dripping from her son's cock. "I'm just going back to..."
"Okay, okay," Kate laughed, seeing that Kevin was still a bit shy about jerking off.
I actually went back to Kevin's room with him briefly. "I tell you what," I said. "Next time I come over, I'll bring you something to play with, okay?"
"Like what?"
"You'll see." I grinned, he grinned, and we left it at that. I'm totally getting Kevin a little toy. Hell, I'm getting one for Liam too, because that boy needs to give some prostate play a try. He's dying for it. At this rate I'm going to give away all my toys. But I have a bunch of beginner butt toys which Sveta and I have no real use for, so might as well make sure they have good homes.
I came back and Kate was cleaning Liam off with her tongue. "How's he going?" she asked.
"He's fine. I think he's a little jealous."
"But he doesn't want me."
"I know. He just wishes he could play too."
"I'm screwing this up."
"No, no. Just... maybe make some extra time for him. You know, not sex stuff." Yeah, that's why I'm not a parental councilor. It seemed like the thing to say.
"Okay," said Kate. "Liam, be nice to your brother. You get me and he gets nothing, and that's not fair."
"Okay mom, come on, I'm not stopping him."
It was a bit like my family. I remember having conversations with my parents about how I had to let Mike have some time with the other girls, and I had the same reaction. Ah, to be young again.
Kate offered to go down on me, but I was pretty well done, unless a cock was going to be involved, and Liam looked a little worn out. I couldn't spend the night or I might have gotten another helping. But we sat around and talked for a while, then I got my clothes back on and left.
I honestly wonder whether Liam and Kevin will ever experiment. Liam, I think, would happily suck Kevin's cock, and he might even be into getting fucked in the ass. But I'm not pushing for it. I don't know if it would be the right thing to do, but if it happens, let it happen because they want it, not because anyone else does, or suggests it. Yes, it would be a solution to one problem, but I'm not sure it would solve anything.
And I'm not going to offer to suck Kevin off again. If he brings it up, I'll happily do it, but I shouldn't have offered in the first place. I've been enough gay guys' "experiment" to know that it's not really a solution.
But I have got to make arrangements to go over there more often, because I need cock in my life and Liam's is very nice. I wonder how long it will be before he finds a girl his own age. She'll be lucky, let me tell you. I wonder how Kate will handle that. I hope well.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
TMI Tuesday
From the vault:
1. Where you live what is the current season?
Autumn. Or fall. Whatever you call it. It's mostly still summer here.
2. Do you measure/report the weather temperature in Celsius or Fahrenheit?
So are we trying to narrow down my location based on these clues? I live in the US. We don't cotton to metric. However, I can share with you the Great White North official guide to metric conversions: double it and add 30. So if it's 20 degrees Celsius, then it's roughly 60 Fahrenheit. Seriously, fuck Fahrenheit. It's a bullshit measuring stick which starts at 32 and is spelled in a way I have to look up. But it's what I grew up with, so I'm stuck with it because no matter how I try, I can't determine what the temperature outside means in Celsius unless I do a conversion. Also, if the speed limit is 100 kph, it is not 230 mph. But I have no idea what it actually is without looking it up. Pity us poor Americans and our backwards ways.
3. Describe your ideal day of weather?
Most of the time, clear with enough clouds that the sun isn't oppressive, 65-70 F (or whatever that is in Celsius because who am I kidding, it's too late to be doing that kind of reverse conversion), and preferably in a shady area with a nice cool drink and a cute girl. That last isn't weather, but it's important anyway. Sometimes though, I like snow if I don't have to shovel it, and sometimes I like rain if I don't have to be out in it. And a lot of the time I don't care because I don't want to go outside anyway.
4. When it is cold outside I want to:
a. Run outside naked because it is exhilarating.
b. Bundle up in warm clothes and take a winter walk.
c. Turn the heat up, stay indoors, hibernate until warm weather returns.
d. I do not pay attention to the weather.
I don't turn the heat up. I like it a bit colder. But running naked in the cold is a young girl's sport. I'm too old for that shit. And I don't really like taking walks in any weather. But I do pay attention to the weather. Maybe just stay indoors whether it's cold or warm, but enjoying the cold a bit because it means I don't have to put on the AC.
5. Do you go “commando” in cold weather or in winter?
Depends. I tend not to go commando in pants much; the fabric of most of my pants is a bit rough. And I wear fewer skirts and dresses in the winter. But really, what's the weather got to do with going commando? If you think my panties are keeping me warm, you're wrong. If I'm going to go out in something which will let cold winds blow against my crotch, a thin scrap of fabric isn't going to help matters, so I do what I'm going to do with little to no regard for temperature.
Understand that I'm a lady who wears sandals outside unless there's a foot of snow on the ground, so my mileage may vary.
6. For 10,000 USD Would you rather ride a bike for one mile (1.6 km) in 7 degrees F/ 14 degrees C weather or jump naked into a freezing cold Alaskan lake in winter?
7 F isn't 14 C as we've established. 14 C is, according to my estimation method, more like 58 F. So on the one hand, we've got below freezing; on the other, sweater weather. I'm not scared of 58 F. I might not even put on a coat if it were a short trip or I was doing something strenuous.
But let's go with 7 degrees Imperial, which means below freezing. Still not terrible. Also, it doesn't say how much clothing I'd be wearing, but let's assume worst-case scenario and they meant to imply that I would be naked while riding. No mention of wind, so let's assume no wind, no precipitation, no snow on the ground. Maybe just me, naked, in an industrial freezer, riding a mile on a stationary bike. So as to keep this all scientific. Also, since they were so far from the mark in their temperature conversions I don't trust their distance conversion, I'll be riding a mile because I have no idea how far a kilometer is.
I'm not a great fan of exercise for no purpose, and if this were running a mile naked in those temperatures I would definitely bow out of competition because I hate running. I hate running in any weather. I love the feeling of being running for about ten seconds, then I have to breathe and my lungs decide they've had enough after one breath. I hated running in gym class in school. Don't see the point, don't see the enjoyment. No judgments on those who enjoy it, but I'd rather do pretty much any other exercise than run or jog.
But this is about bike riding. And I like riding bikes, particularly if I don't have to work hard at it, which nothing about this experiment says I must.
I've also dived into water which was cold. Not freezing, but cold enough that if I had stayed in for too long I would have suffered hypothermia. And diving into even that temperature is dangerous and unpleasant. Your brain shuts down and you sink, and it takes all your strength of will to force yourself to do much of anything besides drown.
Riding a bike, I'd be cold, but I wouldn't be wet and I wouldn't die and I'd likely actually get warm through the exertion and thus wouldn't feel the cold much. And if I could immediately decamp the cold after completing the mile and be warmer after, I doubt it would cause any lasting damage.
So, after exhaustive reasoning which probably isn't terribly interesting and definitely isn't sexy, I'd choose the naked bike ride. You may feel free to imagine me riding a bike naked and shivering if that turns your crank. No polar bear swim for me, thank you.
7. What is your favorite piece of winter clothing?
I actually like coats. If I lived somewhere where I could wear them year-round I'd probably own more of them as fashion accessories. As it is, I have a military greatcoat which I got for a song from a surplus store that I absolutely love. It doesn't really make me look sexy or anything, but it buttons up and I can wear it with nothing underneath if I want, although I never have. Feel free to picture that too if you like.
And before you ask, I don't go naked under my greatcoat because it's wool and it itches. Wonderful coat but my skin is delicate porcelain.
8. Have you ever worn Long Johns aka long underwear or thermal underwear?
I have. I've rarely been in a situation where I needed them, but I was once in a cabin which was so shockingly cold that I slept in my clothes huddled up for warmth, and I wore thermal underwear that night because there was no heat at all and I was afraid I might freeze to death. I don't think I would have, but it was fucking cold.
Other than that, I've worn thermal bottoms and nothing else, but that was for sexy times, not for warmth. I'm really not cold a lot of the time, and if I am I just put on layers because then I get too hot and have to take the top layer off. Having to take off my underwear to fix that problem is just impractical. I layer from outside in.
Bonus: Do you have more or less sex in the winter months vs. other times of year?
I don't think it makes much difference, really. I don't keep track, but I think I have about as much in all seasons. Definitely less outdoor sex in winter, but it just moves indoors until spring, and anyway I have a lot less outdoor sex now than I used to.
1. Where you live what is the current season?
Autumn. Or fall. Whatever you call it. It's mostly still summer here.
2. Do you measure/report the weather temperature in Celsius or Fahrenheit?
So are we trying to narrow down my location based on these clues? I live in the US. We don't cotton to metric. However, I can share with you the Great White North official guide to metric conversions: double it and add 30. So if it's 20 degrees Celsius, then it's roughly 60 Fahrenheit. Seriously, fuck Fahrenheit. It's a bullshit measuring stick which starts at 32 and is spelled in a way I have to look up. But it's what I grew up with, so I'm stuck with it because no matter how I try, I can't determine what the temperature outside means in Celsius unless I do a conversion. Also, if the speed limit is 100 kph, it is not 230 mph. But I have no idea what it actually is without looking it up. Pity us poor Americans and our backwards ways.
3. Describe your ideal day of weather?
Most of the time, clear with enough clouds that the sun isn't oppressive, 65-70 F (or whatever that is in Celsius because who am I kidding, it's too late to be doing that kind of reverse conversion), and preferably in a shady area with a nice cool drink and a cute girl. That last isn't weather, but it's important anyway. Sometimes though, I like snow if I don't have to shovel it, and sometimes I like rain if I don't have to be out in it. And a lot of the time I don't care because I don't want to go outside anyway.
4. When it is cold outside I want to:
a. Run outside naked because it is exhilarating.
b. Bundle up in warm clothes and take a winter walk.
c. Turn the heat up, stay indoors, hibernate until warm weather returns.
d. I do not pay attention to the weather.
I don't turn the heat up. I like it a bit colder. But running naked in the cold is a young girl's sport. I'm too old for that shit. And I don't really like taking walks in any weather. But I do pay attention to the weather. Maybe just stay indoors whether it's cold or warm, but enjoying the cold a bit because it means I don't have to put on the AC.
5. Do you go “commando” in cold weather or in winter?
Depends. I tend not to go commando in pants much; the fabric of most of my pants is a bit rough. And I wear fewer skirts and dresses in the winter. But really, what's the weather got to do with going commando? If you think my panties are keeping me warm, you're wrong. If I'm going to go out in something which will let cold winds blow against my crotch, a thin scrap of fabric isn't going to help matters, so I do what I'm going to do with little to no regard for temperature.
Understand that I'm a lady who wears sandals outside unless there's a foot of snow on the ground, so my mileage may vary.
6. For 10,000 USD Would you rather ride a bike for one mile (1.6 km) in 7 degrees F/ 14 degrees C weather or jump naked into a freezing cold Alaskan lake in winter?
7 F isn't 14 C as we've established. 14 C is, according to my estimation method, more like 58 F. So on the one hand, we've got below freezing; on the other, sweater weather. I'm not scared of 58 F. I might not even put on a coat if it were a short trip or I was doing something strenuous.
But let's go with 7 degrees Imperial, which means below freezing. Still not terrible. Also, it doesn't say how much clothing I'd be wearing, but let's assume worst-case scenario and they meant to imply that I would be naked while riding. No mention of wind, so let's assume no wind, no precipitation, no snow on the ground. Maybe just me, naked, in an industrial freezer, riding a mile on a stationary bike. So as to keep this all scientific. Also, since they were so far from the mark in their temperature conversions I don't trust their distance conversion, I'll be riding a mile because I have no idea how far a kilometer is.
I'm not a great fan of exercise for no purpose, and if this were running a mile naked in those temperatures I would definitely bow out of competition because I hate running. I hate running in any weather. I love the feeling of being running for about ten seconds, then I have to breathe and my lungs decide they've had enough after one breath. I hated running in gym class in school. Don't see the point, don't see the enjoyment. No judgments on those who enjoy it, but I'd rather do pretty much any other exercise than run or jog.
But this is about bike riding. And I like riding bikes, particularly if I don't have to work hard at it, which nothing about this experiment says I must.
I've also dived into water which was cold. Not freezing, but cold enough that if I had stayed in for too long I would have suffered hypothermia. And diving into even that temperature is dangerous and unpleasant. Your brain shuts down and you sink, and it takes all your strength of will to force yourself to do much of anything besides drown.
Riding a bike, I'd be cold, but I wouldn't be wet and I wouldn't die and I'd likely actually get warm through the exertion and thus wouldn't feel the cold much. And if I could immediately decamp the cold after completing the mile and be warmer after, I doubt it would cause any lasting damage.
So, after exhaustive reasoning which probably isn't terribly interesting and definitely isn't sexy, I'd choose the naked bike ride. You may feel free to imagine me riding a bike naked and shivering if that turns your crank. No polar bear swim for me, thank you.
7. What is your favorite piece of winter clothing?
I actually like coats. If I lived somewhere where I could wear them year-round I'd probably own more of them as fashion accessories. As it is, I have a military greatcoat which I got for a song from a surplus store that I absolutely love. It doesn't really make me look sexy or anything, but it buttons up and I can wear it with nothing underneath if I want, although I never have. Feel free to picture that too if you like.
And before you ask, I don't go naked under my greatcoat because it's wool and it itches. Wonderful coat but my skin is delicate porcelain.
8. Have you ever worn Long Johns aka long underwear or thermal underwear?
I have. I've rarely been in a situation where I needed them, but I was once in a cabin which was so shockingly cold that I slept in my clothes huddled up for warmth, and I wore thermal underwear that night because there was no heat at all and I was afraid I might freeze to death. I don't think I would have, but it was fucking cold.
Other than that, I've worn thermal bottoms and nothing else, but that was for sexy times, not for warmth. I'm really not cold a lot of the time, and if I am I just put on layers because then I get too hot and have to take the top layer off. Having to take off my underwear to fix that problem is just impractical. I layer from outside in.
Bonus: Do you have more or less sex in the winter months vs. other times of year?
I don't think it makes much difference, really. I don't keep track, but I think I have about as much in all seasons. Definitely less outdoor sex in winter, but it just moves indoors until spring, and anyway I have a lot less outdoor sex now than I used to.
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
TMI Tuesday
Please send questions. I get bored and fun stuff doesn't always happen on schedule.
From the vault:
1. I am in need of an intervention for my obsession with _____ .
Porn? Probably porn. I am a porn collector. I like downloading pictures, sorting through them, cataloguing them, tagging them, categorizing them, etc. I probably spend more time collecting porn than I do looking at it, and the stuff I've collected I rarely return to. I did go through a period where I had no internet connection and I revisited some of my collection in the interim, but really it takes something more than a picture to get me off any more. So I watch a fair amount of video too, but I don't download that. I was collecting bookmarks for a while, but that's just not the same.
2. You are being auctioned off. What is your unique selling point?
I cook, in the kitchen and in the bedroom. And also in the kitchen. And in other rooms. But I can make pretty good food, or so I've been told. I'm my own worst critic when it comes to food prep, so I don't usually like the things I make as much as other people do, and if I'm cooking for myself I pull out precisely none of the stops, but I do enjoy cooking for others.
3. On a scale of 1-5 how many stars did your mom or dad give your current significant other or your favorite, longest lasting love? (1 is bad, 5 is great)
5. Mom and Dad love Sveta. They haven't cared for some of my other long-term relationships, but in many cases they turned out to be right, so I've learned to at least take their opinions into account, even if I don't let them be the final arbiter.
4. Most of the meals I eat are:
a. Cooked in a microwave
b. Cooked in the oven/stove
c. Made by someone else
I think I average more meals prepared on a stove than either of the other options, but as I said, if I'm cooking for just me, I am frugal to the point of ridiculousness and lazy to the point of stupor. "Meals" is perhaps a charitable term for what I make for myself, although I'm sure many other people would be in awe that I bother to cook anything rather than just heating up a microwave meal.
The microwave gets a bad rap, in my humble. It's a tool in the kitchen just like everything else, and you can make crap on the stovetop just as easily as in the microwave, albeit perhaps with a bit more effort. I think the ability to have a baked potato in minutes without heating the house up, for instance, is wonderful.
5. When work and life stress me out, nothing relieves the tension like _____ .
An orgasm. Come on, it's me. Is there really any other answer to this question that I would give? That said, when orgasms elude me, as they often do these days, chocolate and comedy are good fallbacks. Not as nice nor as relaxing, but fallbacks nonetheless. And if all else fails, there are drugs.
Bonus: Write and answer your own bonus question.
No. No I won't. Someone else needs to write my questions. I'm lazy.
From the vault:
1. I am in need of an intervention for my obsession with _____ .
Porn? Probably porn. I am a porn collector. I like downloading pictures, sorting through them, cataloguing them, tagging them, categorizing them, etc. I probably spend more time collecting porn than I do looking at it, and the stuff I've collected I rarely return to. I did go through a period where I had no internet connection and I revisited some of my collection in the interim, but really it takes something more than a picture to get me off any more. So I watch a fair amount of video too, but I don't download that. I was collecting bookmarks for a while, but that's just not the same.
2. You are being auctioned off. What is your unique selling point?
I cook, in the kitchen and in the bedroom. And also in the kitchen. And in other rooms. But I can make pretty good food, or so I've been told. I'm my own worst critic when it comes to food prep, so I don't usually like the things I make as much as other people do, and if I'm cooking for myself I pull out precisely none of the stops, but I do enjoy cooking for others.
3. On a scale of 1-5 how many stars did your mom or dad give your current significant other or your favorite, longest lasting love? (1 is bad, 5 is great)
5. Mom and Dad love Sveta. They haven't cared for some of my other long-term relationships, but in many cases they turned out to be right, so I've learned to at least take their opinions into account, even if I don't let them be the final arbiter.
4. Most of the meals I eat are:
a. Cooked in a microwave
b. Cooked in the oven/stove
c. Made by someone else
I think I average more meals prepared on a stove than either of the other options, but as I said, if I'm cooking for just me, I am frugal to the point of ridiculousness and lazy to the point of stupor. "Meals" is perhaps a charitable term for what I make for myself, although I'm sure many other people would be in awe that I bother to cook anything rather than just heating up a microwave meal.
The microwave gets a bad rap, in my humble. It's a tool in the kitchen just like everything else, and you can make crap on the stovetop just as easily as in the microwave, albeit perhaps with a bit more effort. I think the ability to have a baked potato in minutes without heating the house up, for instance, is wonderful.
5. When work and life stress me out, nothing relieves the tension like _____ .
An orgasm. Come on, it's me. Is there really any other answer to this question that I would give? That said, when orgasms elude me, as they often do these days, chocolate and comedy are good fallbacks. Not as nice nor as relaxing, but fallbacks nonetheless. And if all else fails, there are drugs.
Bonus: Write and answer your own bonus question.
No. No I won't. Someone else needs to write my questions. I'm lazy.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
TMI Tuesday
From the archives. I'm eventually going to run out of these. Feel free to send me questions (hint hint).
1. Have you ever had sex in three or more positions in one session? Name the positions.
Ever? All the time. Name the positions? You pick 'em, I've probably done 'em.
Let's see: with a guy, momma likes to get some missionary. I think my go-to positions are missionary, cowgirl, and doggie, in whatever order. If anal is on the table, the positions are going to be slightly different; I find that missionary anal is more difficult for a lot of guys and it's best to either be on the end of the bed (or wherever I'm lying) and have my ass over the edge so the angles are better. Or prop my ass up somehow. But for anal, doggie is just a better solution, so that might be the lion's share of the action. Although reverse cowgirl is definitely a fun anal position. I really enjoy the guy sitting down, leaning back a little, and legs apart, so I can plant my ass on his cock between. It tightens things up too.
With a gal, I confess that I like eating out more if she's on her back with legs spread and I'm between them. Call that the "missionary" of pussy eating. Sveta and I have been doing more ass-up oral though, partially because of the whole rimming thing. And with dildos and strapons, anything goes.
I like switching positions. They all feel different. But some people are better at some positions than others. I don't think I'm great at the particularly acrobatic ones, myself.
2. Have you ever had sex continuously for more than an hour? Was it all intercourse or other methods of sexual pleasure?
For more than an hour? Of course. Quickies are terrific and I love them too, but I love a long session. Most of mine go for more than an hour unless there are time restraints. Hell, I'll masturbate for more than an hour frequently. I need a hobby that takes less time.
If it's going to be a longer haul, with a guy there are usually breaks. Most men can't go continuously for an hour and that's totally fine. I love a guy who has stamina, but eventually even I want to change things up. Switching positions helps, as above, but an hour of constant thrusting can get tiring for everyone involved.
With the ladies, a solid hour of pussy-licking by one tongue is asking a bit much too. Tongues get tired. Pull out the toys, switch sides, and there are other places to kiss a girl than between her legs.
I guess if the question is, "Have you ever had one constant sex act for an hour?" my answer would be, "Rarely but it happens." The key, if you're going to be pumped for an hour, is lube. Not just for the ass. Keep applying lube every few minutes. Otherwise, I'm going to get a little raw. I know ladies who can fuck for hours and not have a problem, but for me, maybe 15 minutes or so and I start to need a little outside help, even if I'm cumming buckets and enjoying myself immensely.
3. Have you ever planned and devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)?
All the time. I've told plenty of those stories here. The key is proper hydration, actually. You can lose a fair amount of liquid during sex in all sorts of ways. I don't think the key to a day of sex is constant, frenzied activity either. Having a day means you can be as slow as you want with things, try out new stuff, maybe switch up your location every so often. Start in the bedroom and move to the living room and the kitchen, maybe.
Partners help with this. It's easier to keep a threesome going than a twosome, and as you add partners it becomes even easier. But it's nice to just take a day, or as much of one as you can manage, with just your significant other.
Plus there are all sorts of fun games you can play to make a day of it even if you've got to break off for other things. See how many times you can make your partner cum over the course of a day at home. See how many times you can cum. See how full of cum your pussy can be at the end of the day. Collect all your guy's cum in a glass over the course of the day and then drink it at the end while being fucked one last time. The possibilities are pretty much endless.
4. Have you ever been so loud having sex that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?
My parents used to have to come upstairs and tell Mike and me to keep it down when company was expected. In college, I had neighbors who told me they were impressed, although one year I lived next to a gay guy who seemed to have sex every day, usually with a new partner. He had me beat in promiscuity and volume, and his bed was up against the wall next to my bed. After his partner du jour had left, I would pound on his wall sometimes and cheer if it were a particularly strenuous session.
That's just some of the answer to this question. I'm not tremendously loud myself, but with thin walls and a creaky bed I can make plenty of noise.
5. Have you ever had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?
This is such a humblebrag question. Yes, frequently. Let's just leave it at that.
6. Have you ever gotten really turned on by saying or hearing dirty talk?
God, yes. Whispering something incredibly dirty in my ear in an inappropriate place can get my motor running something fierce. And I love to talk dirty too. I can be filthy at times. I've actually turned a few people off going too deep into that well, so I have to self-censor until I know what people are going to be like.
Bonus: What word or words said during sex totally turn you off or distract you from the task at hand?
Getting called names when I'm not into it can turn me off. I remember once I was getting hot and heavy with a guy who seemed like the most meek, nice guy imaginable, but then he grabbed my head and pushed it down, saying, "Take that cock in your slutty mouth, bitch."
For whatever reason, it totally brought me out of it. I stopped and said, "Um, what are you doing?" And he replied that he was just trying to get into it. "What made you think that I'd enjoy that?" I asked him. He said porn. Poor, sweet, gullible boy. If he had been an asshole about it, sex would have been off, but instead he was practically crying he was apologizing so hard. So we had a talk about porn and what's sexy and what isn't. To his credit, he talked with me about it rather than getting pissed he wasn't getting laid, but he also said that I had seemed like I was into it. So I apologized too, because maybe I was giving him the wrong impression, but I told him that just because a woman was eager to fuck him didn't mean he had to call her names. I'm so progressive.
I think he figured okay, teachable moment, now we'll go our separate ways. But when he got up like I was going to throw him out, I told him that I was going to do no such thing, and that I just wanted to help him. Lots of ladies don't go for name-calling. Remember that. And porn isn't real. But then I said, "If you ask nicely, I would be glad to take that cock in my mouth." So he grinned sheepishly and asked, and I pulled off his pants and said, "Okay, now you can call me dirty names if you'd like," and then we got back to it.
Other times though, I'm totally down with being called names. I'm fickle. I guess the lesson is that it never hurts to ask, but it usually hurts not to.
1. Have you ever had sex in three or more positions in one session? Name the positions.
Ever? All the time. Name the positions? You pick 'em, I've probably done 'em.
Let's see: with a guy, momma likes to get some missionary. I think my go-to positions are missionary, cowgirl, and doggie, in whatever order. If anal is on the table, the positions are going to be slightly different; I find that missionary anal is more difficult for a lot of guys and it's best to either be on the end of the bed (or wherever I'm lying) and have my ass over the edge so the angles are better. Or prop my ass up somehow. But for anal, doggie is just a better solution, so that might be the lion's share of the action. Although reverse cowgirl is definitely a fun anal position. I really enjoy the guy sitting down, leaning back a little, and legs apart, so I can plant my ass on his cock between. It tightens things up too.
With a gal, I confess that I like eating out more if she's on her back with legs spread and I'm between them. Call that the "missionary" of pussy eating. Sveta and I have been doing more ass-up oral though, partially because of the whole rimming thing. And with dildos and strapons, anything goes.
I like switching positions. They all feel different. But some people are better at some positions than others. I don't think I'm great at the particularly acrobatic ones, myself.
2. Have you ever had sex continuously for more than an hour? Was it all intercourse or other methods of sexual pleasure?
For more than an hour? Of course. Quickies are terrific and I love them too, but I love a long session. Most of mine go for more than an hour unless there are time restraints. Hell, I'll masturbate for more than an hour frequently. I need a hobby that takes less time.
If it's going to be a longer haul, with a guy there are usually breaks. Most men can't go continuously for an hour and that's totally fine. I love a guy who has stamina, but eventually even I want to change things up. Switching positions helps, as above, but an hour of constant thrusting can get tiring for everyone involved.
With the ladies, a solid hour of pussy-licking by one tongue is asking a bit much too. Tongues get tired. Pull out the toys, switch sides, and there are other places to kiss a girl than between her legs.
I guess if the question is, "Have you ever had one constant sex act for an hour?" my answer would be, "Rarely but it happens." The key, if you're going to be pumped for an hour, is lube. Not just for the ass. Keep applying lube every few minutes. Otherwise, I'm going to get a little raw. I know ladies who can fuck for hours and not have a problem, but for me, maybe 15 minutes or so and I start to need a little outside help, even if I'm cumming buckets and enjoying myself immensely.
3. Have you ever planned and devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)?
All the time. I've told plenty of those stories here. The key is proper hydration, actually. You can lose a fair amount of liquid during sex in all sorts of ways. I don't think the key to a day of sex is constant, frenzied activity either. Having a day means you can be as slow as you want with things, try out new stuff, maybe switch up your location every so often. Start in the bedroom and move to the living room and the kitchen, maybe.
Partners help with this. It's easier to keep a threesome going than a twosome, and as you add partners it becomes even easier. But it's nice to just take a day, or as much of one as you can manage, with just your significant other.
Plus there are all sorts of fun games you can play to make a day of it even if you've got to break off for other things. See how many times you can make your partner cum over the course of a day at home. See how many times you can cum. See how full of cum your pussy can be at the end of the day. Collect all your guy's cum in a glass over the course of the day and then drink it at the end while being fucked one last time. The possibilities are pretty much endless.
4. Have you ever been so loud having sex that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?
My parents used to have to come upstairs and tell Mike and me to keep it down when company was expected. In college, I had neighbors who told me they were impressed, although one year I lived next to a gay guy who seemed to have sex every day, usually with a new partner. He had me beat in promiscuity and volume, and his bed was up against the wall next to my bed. After his partner du jour had left, I would pound on his wall sometimes and cheer if it were a particularly strenuous session.
That's just some of the answer to this question. I'm not tremendously loud myself, but with thin walls and a creaky bed I can make plenty of noise.
5. Have you ever had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?
This is such a humblebrag question. Yes, frequently. Let's just leave it at that.
6. Have you ever gotten really turned on by saying or hearing dirty talk?
God, yes. Whispering something incredibly dirty in my ear in an inappropriate place can get my motor running something fierce. And I love to talk dirty too. I can be filthy at times. I've actually turned a few people off going too deep into that well, so I have to self-censor until I know what people are going to be like.
Bonus: What word or words said during sex totally turn you off or distract you from the task at hand?
Getting called names when I'm not into it can turn me off. I remember once I was getting hot and heavy with a guy who seemed like the most meek, nice guy imaginable, but then he grabbed my head and pushed it down, saying, "Take that cock in your slutty mouth, bitch."
For whatever reason, it totally brought me out of it. I stopped and said, "Um, what are you doing?" And he replied that he was just trying to get into it. "What made you think that I'd enjoy that?" I asked him. He said porn. Poor, sweet, gullible boy. If he had been an asshole about it, sex would have been off, but instead he was practically crying he was apologizing so hard. So we had a talk about porn and what's sexy and what isn't. To his credit, he talked with me about it rather than getting pissed he wasn't getting laid, but he also said that I had seemed like I was into it. So I apologized too, because maybe I was giving him the wrong impression, but I told him that just because a woman was eager to fuck him didn't mean he had to call her names. I'm so progressive.
I think he figured okay, teachable moment, now we'll go our separate ways. But when he got up like I was going to throw him out, I told him that I was going to do no such thing, and that I just wanted to help him. Lots of ladies don't go for name-calling. Remember that. And porn isn't real. But then I said, "If you ask nicely, I would be glad to take that cock in my mouth." So he grinned sheepishly and asked, and I pulled off his pants and said, "Okay, now you can call me dirty names if you'd like," and then we got back to it.
Other times though, I'm totally down with being called names. I'm fickle. I guess the lesson is that it never hurts to ask, but it usually hurts not to.
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