TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. If you and your significant other played “sexual truth or dare” with other couples, would you rather watch your s.o. have sex with someone or would you prefer having sex with someone in front of your s.o.?

At this point, I'd probably take one for the team and let Sveta fuck.  I like watching her, and she'd likely get more out of it than I would, plus I'd get things out of watching.  She's fun to watch.  And if the whole time I was thinking, "You may have her now, but she's going home with me," who's going to know?

2. Would you rather watch your favorite porn with your sibling or read your favorite sexy erotica out loud to your parent(s)?

I've done the former.  As strange as it might be to say, I think I might feel awkward about the latter.  That's odd to think about, having never really considered it before.  So I'd happily watch any porn at all with any/all of my siblings.

Odder still, though I have watched porn with my parents, I'd still rather watch it with my siblings.  My mother's taste in porn isn't bad, but it's pretty vanilla.  My father and I like some of the same things, but neither of them are into the weirder stuff, whereas Sheri or Mike and I can watch strange porn and laugh about it.  Mari would be mostly into girl/girl, which isn't bad, but I like penises in my porn.  Girl/girl stuff just doesn't make me cum, though I like multiple naked women just fine.  I like to see penetration, I guess.  Strapons would probably work, but it's still not the same.  I don't know why.  Just my particular kink, I guess.  Mari also doesn't particularly care about watching lesbian sex per se.  She enjoys naked women.  If there are more than one of them, hey, that's just more than one naked woman.  But she's also the least into porn in general, although maybe Mom is right there with her.

3. To get sexually aroused, would you rather watch girl on girl porn or guy on guy porn?

As a continuation, you'd think that I'd go for guy on guy, but actually I don't find gay porn that arousing.  I mean, being in the room with gay sex is great, but it still doesn't make me cum.  At least with two girls I can ogle two girls.  But while I confess a slight preference for girl on girl, either will work in a pinch.  There are genres of both that I don't get into, but if the guys look good, I'm fine with that too.

4. Would you rather have sex with your boss, in an office conference room or masturbate at home knowing that your neighbor is watching?

My current boss and I would never have sex.  Ever.  He's gay, for one, but even if he was going to throw me a bone, while I like him, I am not at all attracted to him.  In the general question though, even if I would have sex with my boss given the chance, I would probably rather be watched masturbating by a neighbor.  I'm shy, but if I knew what was happening, I could get into the exhibitionism of it.

It's the consequences which really throw this question for a loop though.  Being watched by a neighbor is a bit creepy, and if the neighbor is creepy, I would worry a bit.  But fucking the boss is just never a good idea.  I've done it and the best you can hope for is that the sex is good and then you never see each other again.  And a neighbor talking about having watched you masturbate is embarrassing for them, whereas a boss doesn't have as much blowback, even if you don't assume the sex was entirely consensual.  So I'm sticking with my answer.  I never see my neighbors anyway, and if they watched me spank it and then gave me knowing looks, I'd deal.

5. Based on your current mood, would you rather try out new and kinky sex ideas or have romantic sex?

Romantic.  That is definitely not always true, but at the time of this writing, I just want a nice, sensual session with a trusted partner.  I mean, I get that frequently, but it doesn't mean I don't continue to want it.  And I miss some of my past partners with whom I was quite romantic, so if this is a genie/wish situation, I'd like to spend some time with them.

Bonus: Would you rather have three kids and no money or no kids with three million dollars?

This may sound very strange, but though I have a serious pregnancy fetish, I don't really want to have kids.  I mean, if it were possible I'd have them, I guess, but in the situation described, I wouldn't feel right bringing three children into a world where they would be poor.  Hell, given the way the world is currently going, I don't know that I would bring kids into it even if I were given the millions.  And I could really use the money.  So where do I go to collect the check?

AF Fucking K

My computer has died. Not sure when I'll be able to fix it or even if it can be fixed, and on my salary if it can't be I'm not sure whether I'll be able to get another. There are a few TMIs in the pipeline but other than that, I'm not dead but I am unable to get on a computer to check my emails, comments, or post anything. Sorry. I'll be back when I can be. Just so you know.

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. The last time you had sex, was it urgent or essential? Consider masturbation or sex with a partner.

Those are my two options, or is it asking if it was either of them or both?  The last time I masturbated it was probably essential because mama needs to get off every so often, even if mama can't enjoy it as much as she'd like to.

The last time I had sex, it wasn't urgent.  It was a nice finish to a day.

2. What should you stop doing? Why?

Eating so much crap, maybe.  I try, but I eat my feelings a lot, and feelings taste better with cheese.  I'm not saying I should eat less crap so I can make weight or anything.  I just need to eat healthier.  I eat reasonably healthy a lot of the time, but it's not good enough.

3. What makes you feel strongest? Sexiest?

Strongest physically?  I don't know, lifting something heavy that other people can't, I guess.  Or that people assume I won't be able to lift.  I'm pretty strong from my various work experience, so I can lift things that people assume a frail female won't be able to shift.  I enjoy the looks on faces when that happens, I suppose.

Strongest mentally?  If I knew that, I'd do it more often.  I'm not mentally strong these days.

Sexiest?  A nice set of underthings makes me feel very sexy, particularly if someone can appreciate them.  But I sometimes wear sexy underwear under work clothes for no reason other than that I know I'm wearing them, and thus I feel a little sexy.

4. When do you feel vulnerable?

All the goddamn time.

5. What is missing from your sex life?

More of it?  I think Sveta and I are both wishing we had more other players in our sex life, not separately but together.  We both like having a third or fourth partner, and we don't get that as often as we'd like.  But I can't really complain about my sex life.  Well, I can, but I won't.

Bonus: If you left your current lover, what would you miss the most?

Sexually, I'd miss her utter enthusiasm.  And at the same time, while she's being enthusiastic, she also still comes off as so innocent and demure.  I'd miss that in the bedroom.

But sex wouldn't make the top ten in terms of things I'd miss if I didn't have Sveta.  She's my rock.  I'd miss feeling her, knowing she's near.  I'd miss touching her, not in a sexy way, even just bumping into her or holding her hand or having her head on my shoulder.  I'd miss her laugh.  I'd miss pretty much everything about her, and I don't know that I can choose what I'd miss most.  All of it.  I'm sappy and I don't give a fuck.

TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. If you are on facebook, when was the last time you had to “unfriend” someone and why?

I am, personally.  Don't go looking for me.  And I practically never use Facebook.  I check it every so often, but it's mostly for either work (I have work people who will only communicate via Messenger, annoyingly) or the occasional birthday well-wish.  I'm not sure I've ever unfriended anyone on Facebook.  Maybe the ex of someone I'm friends with.  But it's not something I do not because I care about pissing people off but because I just don't keep track or really give a shit.  Facebook is stupid, kids.

2. What are you addicted to?

Orgasms.  I think I've answered that one before.  Definitely orgasms.  Probably food.  I have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with food.  But I try to keep it in check.  I'm not addicted to much of anything else, and the things I've been addicted to in the past, substance-wise, haven't been much to write home about.  I've quit most things I've ever quit cold turkey.  I'm not saying that because I think it makes me a better person.  Substances don't affect me in the normal way, most of the time.  When I smoked, I was never addicted to nicotine, I was just psychologically addicted to the action of smoking, I guess.  Caffeine, ditto.  I've never met a drug which affected me in a way which was normal, including some significantly-habit-forming and scheduled prescription drugs.

3. What are the first 3 things you do every morning?

Moan, swear, and attain verticality.  I don't have a morning routine, and anyway it's usually not morning because of my horrible sleep patterns and accompanying work schedule.  I hate waking up.

4. How lucky are you and why?

On the one hand, I'm very lucky.  On the other, I have terrible luck.  I don't really believe in luck though, and I think most people think they're less "lucky" than they actually are.  I have many good things in my life which I'm happy to have, and I also have many problems.  As for why, because the entropy of the universe causes things to happen?  If you were hoping for a story where I killed an old Gypsy with a broken mirror under a ladder or something, yeah, I don't have an explanation.

When I say, "I don't believe in luck," that sounds incredibly cocky, like I'm about to "make my own luck" or something.  I don't mean it like that.  I've never believed that there was some score I had in the divine balance sheet which dictated what terrible things happened to me, or what good things.  Most of it is out of my control, but that's not luck, that's random chance.  It's not "lucky" to be born rich, or with good genes, or of the correct skin tone for your particular situation.  It's just chance, and chance doesn't give a shit about you.

That's all very fatalistic.  In the grand scheme of things, were I to believe that I had a "luck" score, I'd say that most days I feel like my luck is pretty terrible, but that's selfish and stupid and I know this.  I'm very lucky in many ways.  The ways I'm not make it hard to appreciate, but it could be much worse.

5. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?

Depends on to whom I'm admitting it.  I wouldn't want to admit many things I have tried to many people.  And things I'd like to try, I'm not embarrassed to admit them if it's to the right person.  I don't know.  It's not that I'm not hung up about things, but most things I'm hung up about, I don't want to try.  I don't know that I have that many things I want to try that I wouldn't admit, albeit perhaps not to the Pope, for instance.

Bonus: Are you proud of what you are doing?

Proud, no.  Ashamed, also no.  I like my job, but I'm not really proud of it.  It's a job, it's a decent job, and if it paid a bit better I'd be happier, but that doesn't make me ashamed to admit what I'm doing for a living.  I guess if I were curing cancer or something I'd be proud of my work, but as it is, it's work that I don't hate doing, which is nice but not something I take pride in beyond doing a good job.

As for the rest of what I'm doing, I'm not proud of that because I'm mostly just coasting.  A bit shameful.  I wish I were more driven or successful or fulfilled or whatever people look for.  I guess I'm ashamed of my life in general, just a bit.  But then I don't do all that much, so it's hard to be proud of doing quite little.

These were boring and unsexy questions.  You should ask some that aren't.

TMI Tuesday

From the archives.  Seriously, ask me questions or I'm just going to keep doing these stupid things.

1. Whasssssuuuupppppp?

Get out.  If you answer your phone like this, get a better brain.  Of course, my uncle, whenever he calls anyone he knows, starts with, "What're you doin'?"  Before the days of caller ID (which for me was not that long ago) you'd pick up the phone and hear, "What're you doin'?" and for a second, no matter how many times it happened, wonder if this was the day you finally got an obscene phone call.  I love Uncle Sam to death, but Jesus dude, what's wrong with, "Hey, it's your uncle?"

2. Where’s Waldo?

#2 in this article.  There, you're welcome.

3. The best part of waking up is?

Sex.  I hate waking up, but since you can't really enjoy sex when you're asleep, it's probably the best part of waking up.

4. Got Milk?

Actually, we do currently have some because we got a hankering for cookies and milk.  Usually we don't.  And as I'm unlikely to ever produce my own, that's probably where it'll be.

5. Have you driven a Ford lately?

No.  I can't think of the last time I drove a Ford.  I've never owned one.  Maybe a truck I drove for work at some point was a Ford?

6. What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Very little because I don't care for them.  Most of them are vanilla, which I don't like, and they're just not my thing in general.  I would do plenty for a good brownie though.

7. Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?

I don't think I do.  I like Grey Poupon but even if I get Dijon mustard it's usually generic because I'm poor and only suckers buy the brand unless it's demonstrably better than the generic.  Seriously, buy generic.  Yes, there are some things which are better, but until you know, buy generic.  A lot of the time, (trade secret) the generic is made by the same company that produces the brand name item.  Seriously, this is true.  At my supermarket, the generic ketchup is made by Heinz, the chain buys it in bulk and then packages it as the store brand.  No, I don't mean buy sketchy generics from the dollar store, but if you've got a market you trust, the store brand is usually just as good if not better plus way cheaper.

8. Do you Yahoo?

Does anyone?  Wait, don't answer that.  You shouldn't.  I'm not saying you have to sell your soul to Google, but Yahoo has a very bad track record.

Bonus: Is a picture worth a thousand words? Elaborate.

The right picture is perhaps a substitute for the right thousand words.  But there's a reason we don't scrawl on cave walls with our own feces any more, and it's because language is descriptive in a way that images aren't.  Images are also descriptive in a way language isn't.  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  Also, we don't like dying of fecal bacterial infections when appreciating art, to say nothing of the smell.  No, I'm not being serious and yes, I think cave paintings are wonderful. Just that I bet there were words to go along with them which didn't get preserved.

But we should all agree that, "If a picture paints a thousand words, then why can't I paint you?" is just comically awful as a lyric.  Seriously Bread, get your head out of your ass.  I get what you're trying to say, but if a guy ever said that to me I'd laugh in his face.