TMI Tuesday

When was your last bad sexual encounter? Why was it so awful?

I don't have bad sexual encounters much anymore, so rather than try to think back into the distant past, I'm just going to say that sexual encounters where one or both (or more) of the parties involved aren't feeling it are common enough, and that's usually why sex isn't as good as it could be for me these days.

Would you travel for sex? Have you traveled more than 50 miles just to have sex?

Just for sex? Not so much anymore. Time was that I might, although it wouldn't be random sex. I might travel to see someone like Sheri where I knew the sex would be amazing, but that wouldn't be the only reason I'd travel. But yes, I have traveled significantly more than 50 miles just to have sex. I was young and foolish and I really, really wanted to fuck him, and then my car broke down and I wound up not fucking him after all because I had to deal with that in the middle of nowhere. God he was cute though. And I'm pretty sure I could have closed the deal. And then by the time I saw him again he was dating this other girl who was much more his style, and I kept trying to steal him, and what can I say, I'm not proud.

What sexual act or sex position do you struggle with doing?

I still struggle with rimming, even though I do it plenty. Sveta loves the feeling, and I love her, so I've tried to get over my hangups about it.

What social stigma does society need to get over?

Sex being a big fucking deal. I'm not saying it should never be a big fucking deal, but I think we'd all be much happier if we treated sex like an enjoyable activity which means different things in context.

Would you rather:
a. Be topless all the time
or
b. Pantless all the time

This is actually a tough call because I like to cover my ass, no pun intended, when I'm doing things, even if it's just a pair of PJ bottoms. I own a lot of those. I go topless plenty at home. But then I think about having to be out and about with no bra and the sagging and the male gaze, not that I wouldn't get that if I were pantsless but I could wear a long shirt. I don't know. They'd both be rough, and this is coming from me, who is virtually a nudist. I guess I'd go topless just because I like to sit down without making a mess sometimes.

If married, had you slept with any of your wedding guests not including the person you married? How many of the guests had you slept with?

At the wedding, and a decent number. There were a few people there with whom I'd fucked but who weren't invited to the afterparties because they are happily married themselves these days, or because they don't know about all the permutations of my sexual history. I'd say a sizeable minority of my wedding guests have seen me naked, and a majority of that minority got to fuck me that evening.

Weddings again–Ever gone to a wedding and hooked up with another guests?

Not counting my own, yes. I've told stories on the blog about this, in fact, but I can't be assed to look them up. I mean, who hasn't hooked up with a fellow guest at some third party's wedding? Okay, maybe that's not fair. I've also hooked up with both the bride and groom at their wedding. Once (if I recall correctly) both, more than once separately or individually. Yes, there were a few times when that was not nice of me. It is decidedly not my job to enforce strict monogamy on people who are bound and determined to cheat. I should feel more guilty about it than I do, I think.

Do you get along with your partner’s family? Why or why not?

Her father is fine. Her stepmom is not. I don't get along with her stepmom because she's a royal bitch who made Sveta's life hellish and still tries on occasion so to do.

Who in your romantic relationship is usually the first to apologize after a fight?

Sveta. I'm hard-headed. I feel bad about this and I'm working on it.

Why do people say “heads up” when you should duck?

This was a bonus question and I know it has nothing to do with sex, but I thought I knew the answer and then thinking about it I have no idea. I thought the idea was to say, "Look up from what you're doing, pay attention," which has gradually morphed into, "This is a situation of imminent danger, cover your heads and go to ground." Because you can give someone a heads up about something which doesn't require immediate panic, but if someone yells, "Heads up!" you'd best believe my first reaction is to duck and cover.

Seriously though, if you're in a situation where someone might conceivably yell, "Heads up!" and mean, "Something is falling to earth," you should not just duck but also cover. Your hands and arms are good at deflecting falling objects which otherwise would cause head trauma, and broken arms and lacerations heal much faster than brain damage.

Okay, looking it up, the consensus seems to be that "Heads up" originally meant, "Pay attention." So I was kind of right. But now I'm wondering why we look things up rather than looking them down.