TMI Tuesday - Pleasures

1. Tell us your top two simple pleasures.

A cookie and an orgasm. I'm not going to pretend to be other than I am, which is a gal who likes cookies and cumming.

2. You are being a offered a day of pleasure but you must choose one of the following to do. Which would you choose?
a. Sex
b. Watching big sports match/game
c. Fun times with good friends

Sex. I'm me, plus I don't really care about sports that much (I'm not one of those "sportsball" people; I like to watch sports when they're available, but I don't really care that much about them). Fun times with good friends would be sex, so that's basically just two options for me.

3. The sun shining through your window in the morning–annoyance or pleasure?

Annoyance. Usually it means I've had to wake up too early or couldn't get to sleep. Occasionally, very occasionally, I like to greet the dawn, and then the sun rising is wonderful, but I have to have intended to do it.

4. If you uttered the words “pleasure me” to your lover, what would you want to happen?

A delightful sensual massage, hitting all the erogenous zones before finally devolving into sex. I honestly haven't had one in a long time, not because Sveta's a slouch in the sack but because I really didn't think to ask. I may ask one of these days. It just requires a certain amount of preparation and accoutrements and I wouldn't want to just spring it on her randomly. Plus we'd have to change the sheets after because they'd get all messed up with massage oils. So it's mostly me being lazy.

5. Tell us one thing you were most grateful for last week?

I finally got paid some money I've been owed for a long time. I wish I had a better answer than that, but it was a sizeable enough chunk of change that it removes a whole laundry list of worries from my mind.

Bonus: What is the last thing you crossed of your bucket list?

Okay, so I don't really have a bucket list, per se. I have things I'd like to do, but I'm terrible at making lists so those things change depending on the day. I won't give it away, but I did something recently which was something I could check off, except now I kind of want to do it again, and it wasn't cheap, so that's not in the cards. I'm being a tease, I know, but I can't tell you what it was because it's too identifying, sorry.

When I was younger I had a sort of bucket list of sexual acts I hadn't yet tried, but I've tried a lot of them now and like I said, bad at making lists so I never really codified them. I can't for the life of me remember any of the items I checked off. It's been a while, unfortunately. I'm getting older, and while I still want sex just as much, it doesn't have to be quite as adventurous to turn my crank, I guess.

Special bonus question–one of life’s mysteries: Are fig newtons cookies or bars?

Trick question: they're sushi. Please stop asking about food item taxonomy because I have definite opinions and they're all very silly.

Okay, you twisted my arm. Fig newtons can't be a cookie because a cookie is a unit with possible admixtures of other units, and fig newtons are two distinct things. The cookie on the outside of the fig newton is a cookie, certainly. Also, cookies are by and large round, though that's not strict.

Fig newtons can't be bars because bars are baked in a pan and sliced, plus while they may contain layers those layers do not surround the other layers. Fig newtons have a cookie exterior surrounding a jam interior. One could make the case that this qualifies them as cookies based on jam cookies, but in jam cookies the cookie doesn't surround the jam. Anyway, jam cookies are hybrids of cookies and pizza, in the same way pizzookies and those giant chocolate chip cookies with icing on them that they sell in grocery stores are.

Fig newtons are a sushi roll. Before you insist that sushi rolls must be savory, there is no such requirement, nor is there a requirement for raw fish to be involved. They're dessert sushi. End of discussion.

Or are sushi rolls merely savory fig newtons? No, of course not. Who do you think I am?