Good News Bad News

The good news is that my friend is finally home from the hospital, and while good vibes and sexy thoughts are still thoroughly appreciated, he's doing better.  He was even cared for by smoking hot nurses, so who says there's no silver lining?

The bad news is that I am ass-deep in busy at the moment.  Not even ass-deep.  Neck-deep.  I'm hoping to be able to put up a FFF this Friday, but beyond that, I don't foresee much in the way of posting around here this week.  I know, I've been kind of bad about it the past few weeks, actually.  Credit my lack of anything interesting to talk about in current affairs, my craziness at work plus a few side projects, and some lingering lack of motivation due to important people being elsewhere than in my arms.  Or just call me lazy.  I'm not, but I give you permission.

Hopefully as the month wears on, things will become less crazy and I'll have more time to blog again and can remember some stories if I can't create any.  And Sveta can't stay away forever.  She's a sophomore now, and I think she's allowed a few moments of shore leave every now and then.

Flash Fiction Friday - You Should Be Dancing

There was only one woman on the dance floor. He'd been staring at her all night, watching the full, sensuous curves of her body gyrate as the music pulsed with ancient rhythms. With each beat, a further fleeting glimpse of skin. Beat. The skirt rising up as she twirled. Beat. The sway of her hips toward and away from him. Beat. The perky nipples just beneath her dress, blinking into focus as she raised her arms and spun. Beat.

His heart was racing now. The shapely globes of her buttocks, soft skin concealing dancer's muscles beneath. Beat. The music picking up speed. Beat. Her midriff. Beat. Her thighs. He couldn't look away.

But he stayed by the bar, ordered another mojito, and kept watching as her girlfriend came back from the bathroom and they danced together. Was it respect or cowardice? Passion, grace, and fire, all denied him. He didn't know that, if he had danced his way over, they both would have welcomed him. So they danced unknowing and he watched silently and the beat wavered and was lost.

---

I should preface any discussion by the fact that I am an appallingly bad example in terms of getting up off of that thing and shaking it, whether I feel better or not (come on, please know that song).  I have very little in the way of groove thang to shake.  Never been much of a dancer.  When I was younger, I would, but that was mostly due to my advanced state of inebriation at the time.

Am I encouraging people to try to pick up lesbians?  No, absolutely not.  It's more a parable about missed opportunities and desires we can't fulfill than anything else.  Because the two dancing women are missing out too.  If they'd invited him to dance, then he wouldn't have felt excluded.  But they didn't, even if they wanted company, and he gave them their distance, whether out of respect or some less-laudable emotion, and thus nothing came of it beyond him probably going home and rubbing out a monster load at the end of the evening.  That's life.  Most people masturbate more than anything else, I guess, whether it's actual masturbation or simply intellectual or spiritual.

Yeah, I'm just a little ray of sunshine today, aren't I?  If it makes you feel better, whether the women went home with a guy or not, they went home together and had wild dancing sex.  It makes me feel better.  And who knows, maybe our intrepid hero struck up a conversation with the sexy bartender about the annoyances of not knowing whether women are straight or not, and they wound up going home together too.  I'm open to the possibility of the bartender being a guy.  There's no reason why not getting a particular girl has to turn you off to them completely, but there's also nothing which says that our hero isn't in touch with his feminine side.  I guess all I'm saying is that everyone could have gotten lucky that evening, just not with each other.  That's life too.

Speaking of life, specifically things which have become a part of my life, Flash Fiction Friday is something I do every week, and you should too because it'll make you think about stuff like this, plus it's fun and easy and the reviews are pure ego-cocaine.  Speaking of masturbation... no, only kidding, it's not a circle-jerk, it's a mutual-respect-society.  Something like that.  If that sounds like the kind of thing you'd like to get in on, head on over and start.  There aren't any membership dues.

Papa Bear

On a personal note, a very dear friend of mine who also happens to read the blog is in the hospital, and if you're the altruistic sort, or if you'd like me to be happy so I keep posting things on the blog, or even just because I hope he'll read this and know I care, please send kind thoughts/good vibes/sexual healing his way.  He's a good guy and he makes me as happy as is possible without the aid of powerful drugs.

I'm sorry, I normally try to steer clear of this kind of thing, but in this case I'm making an exception.  Actually, no, I'm just doing what he deserves.  Less than he deserves.

Because I Can't Leave Well Enough Alone

I had some requests for elaboration regarding the dirty nursery rhymes in my Flash Fiction Friday this week.  I'm not totally sure why I had the object of desire reciting filthy Mother Goose, but it just happened.  So since I've got nothing better to do than work, mope, or work, I've taken a bit of time out of my moping schedule to work on the topic of dirty nursery rhymes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a good hard fuck.

Jack tripped on a rock and dirtied his cock;

Said Jill, "Oh what rotten luck."

Jill gave Jack a big old whack 'cause Jack was getting randy.

She reached down and grabbed his crown

and said, "He's dumb but he's handy."

Jack and Jill had time to kill so Jill got on her knees

Jack came in her eye and made her cry

And off she ran through the trees.

Jack chased Jill back up the hill and gave her a great big kiss.

She begged him, "Dear, let's do it right here."

Then they lost themselves in bliss.

---

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard

To get her poor dog a bone

But when she bent over, the randy old Rover

Proved he already had one.

---

Sing a song of sixpence,

A pocket full of rye.

Four and twenty peckers

Came in my pie.

When my legs were opened

The cum began to leak

And I don't think I'll walk straight

For at least a week.

---

Ring around the rosy

My ass is nice and cozy

Fuck me

Fuck me

Anal now!

---

It's fun.  I'm definitely open to submissions; there are plenty of nursery rhymes I'm forgetting, and maybe you can do something slightly subtler than I have (though that last one would get a lot of use in my household).  Maybe a dirty nursery rhyme contest?  I've got no prizes, but then neither does FFF.  Hell, I'll take limericks too.  Any sort of dirty doggerel will do.

Flash Fiction Friday - Resolution

She is worth waiting for. So worth it. I can see her now, feet dangling from the chair, skirt threatening to slip up and expose the delicate skin, hair flung back with abandon as she sings a nursery rhyme with words changed to make it filthy.

Why do I picture her like this? I’ve never seen her like this. She is cold and hard as steel; she would never be seen in such a silly outfit, in such a silly position.

My love is not a summer rose. She may not even be my love, not yet, but she will be.

One hundred twenty-seven days left. When the new year dawns, I will show her how she could be, with me. She is so worth waiting for.

---

Kudos this week go out to Advizor for stepping in and hosting while PB is busy.  He's a mensch for doing it; if I were a better person, I would have, but I'm definitely not a better person, not in the slightest.

And in case anyone is keeping score, I own those shoes and enough books to make this scene happen, but it's not me, not that anyone was thinking that.

Jag

Just a short post.  My weekend was long, long, long.  I had more work than I could handle and virtually no sleep, then I had to drive Sveta back to college with very little time to say goodbye.  So I'm obviously feeling peachy-fucking-keen right about now.  It doesn't compare to the suffering of the world, but it's my own private little slice of sunshine.

So if I'm less communicative for a bit, you know why.

Haven't Done It

I received an off-topic and anonymous question, but that's not going to stop me from answering it.  I'll take 'em any way I can get 'em, folks.

"Is there a sex act you haven't done yet but would like to?" - Anonymous

I may have answered this before (I honestly can't remember) but if I have, it's likely I've changed somewhat.  I've done many things that I'd do again, and there are few things I'd never do.  And I've mentioned some fantasies of mine in the past which weren't beyond the pale.  And, yes, there are some things that I'd love to try but will never be able to attempt, for various reasons.  I guess I should subdivide fantasy from possibility.

As far as fantasy goes, I'd love to make love in null-G.  I suppose it's technically a possibility, but it's never going to happen.  Even if I could somehow talk my way onto one of those planes that simulate null-G (no, I won't be going into outer space), I doubt they'd let me fuck on one.  I'm a bit surprised that no one has ever done it for a porno though; maybe the companies won't let them, or maybe I haven't seen it.

Similarly, I'd love to make love in free-fall, some kind of tandem skydiving harness where we'd be face to face, or even spooning.  Again, technically feasible, but not going to happen because I could never jump out of a plane.  I am a wuss when it comes to heights like that.  Actually, this is a problem for the previous fantasy too, because I'm not a flier (which is why joining the Mile High Club isn't on this list).  I don't believe that planes actually fly; I think Bernoulli was pulling everyone's leg and we're suffering from a mass-hallucination which will cause my plane to crash if I set foot on it, so for the good of all the rest of the hypothetical passengers and crew I stay out of planes.  It's civic duty, that's what it is.  But the idea of sex in flight is tantalizing, isn't it?

Moving more into the realm of the improbable but not impossible, I could see having sex on a roller coaster.  Not likely to happen, but still, people have definitely done it.  I think I'd also enjoy making love underwater with some kind of breathing apparatus, and the reason I don't do that is because it's complicated and I think would be more fun to watch than to actually do.

Then there are some things I can't discuss.  We'll just leave those.

Now, onto the things I'd actually like to have happen and think may at some point.  For starters, as mentioned in the previous post about DP, I'd like to switch up my DP options a little, and I'd really like to try upside down DP, particularly if I could find two bi guys who would be comfortable making out while they fucked me.  I've had two bi guys, but never with upside down DP.  I'm not holding out for that though; I'd take any two guys willing to give it a shot.  It will doubtless suck, but I'm more and more into the idea of trying it.

Once, way back when, I mentioned rigging up some kind of harness so I could stay wrapped around a guy all day, his cock sticking up into me the whole time.  It's not exactly bondage, but I could enjoy a little bit of bondage for that.  It'd have to be someone with strength and stamina, but unfortunately I don't think my Dad would ever go for it, plus his back isn't up to it.  I'd love it if we just had to pee on each other if we needed to, go to the shower and just let it go, then wash off.  I'd really love to walk around town like that, but there we're back into fantasy land.

I've tried most sexual positions; Mike and I were very adventurous when we were younger.  So there really aren't too many sexual position-type things I can say here.

I'd love to have a creampie party the way they do in porn, a gangbang (which by itself I've had, and would love again) where every guy creams me, over and over.  I could just lie there with my ass in the air and get filled up to the brim with cum.  I would enjoy the hell out of that.  Mike and I have tried duplicating it with just him, and it's fun enough like that, but with a bunch of guys, even three or four if they were willing to keep at it, I'd melt like butter.

And as I've mentioned, I've never been pregnant, and while that's not technically a sex act I guess, it would open up a whole realm of pregnant sex, to say nothing of the other benefits.  Someday.

This is not taking into account the things I've done once and wish I could repeat, or things I've done with someone but wish I could do with a different someone.  These are things I've never done.

I can't think of anything else which might answer this question, but I come up with crazy ideas sometimes and then forget them, and sometimes Sheri inspires craziness in me too.  And Mike.  Hell, Sveta doesn't inspire craziness, but she inspires other things.  Some day I really hope to be able to do something with her that I've never done with anyone else before.  I don't know what it is yet, but I keep hoping.

Thanks for the question, and keep them coming.  I won't promise answers, but I usually answer the interesting ones at least.