Flash Fiction Friday - Science Gone Wrong

“It gives me no pleasure to do this,” she said. Strapped to a table for so long that it had been ages since I’d even twitched helplessly, I just lay and tried to remain calm despite knowing what was coming. She wheeled in the machine, cold and clinical, and inserted various probes into various places. What information they could hope to glean from me was anyone’s guess.

“Your contribution is vital to our efforts,” she said, turning away as the clicks and hisses began. “We must only learn a little more about your species’ reproduction and then we will be able to do it ourselves.” The gag in my mouth prevented me from telling her that I would gladly have simply shown her what she wanted to know. She was doing it all wrong anyway. That didn’t go there.

---

I called her in, the last suture in place. “Igorina, have you readied the device?” I sighed. My hands twitched helplessly, despairingly, a mockery of the healing motions I had just performed. But then my “healing” was a mockery in any case. I wondered, in the back of my mind, just what I was playing with.

“Yes, mistress.” We moved to the rooftop, lightning crashing around us, and for what I swore was the last time I connected the leads and threw the breakers. “Life! Give my creation life!” I cried to the heavens.

And then I heard it. The muffled buzzing signifying success. The once-dead cock rose to erection. I crowed. I had created the thing I lusted after most: a living vibrator!

“But mistress,” said Igorina softly, “Couldn’t you just buy a silicone one like everyone else?”

---

I blame the picture. There just weren't that many normal things I could write about it. So I may have been a bit silly. I mean, really, the second one, who didn't see that coming a mile away?

The first one started life as something else, but became what it wound up being when I considered the problem of alien anal probes. I mean, that nurse looks pretty alien to me. A gray in disguise, maybe. And I was thinking about (geek alert) the Asgard on Stargate, and how they can't reproduce asexually any more because their genome is too degraded. So, what if the aliens are coming to earth to try to save their species and learn about sexual reproduction. Except they really don't get it, and they never ask, so they think that humans reproduce anally. And then I thought about goofy, error-prone aliens for a while, which... may have colored the second one, state-of-mind-wise.

And then the second one. Oh man, the second one. It was either going to be this, or she'd accidentally damaged her lover's tool doing a particularly complicated move, and now she had to revivify it. Either way, it was only going to get silly. I went with the sillier option.

I am fairly, nay almost completely, certain that there will be some more serious entries this week from other, more sober people, so you should probably go over to FFF headquarters and check those out. As I've mentioned many times, my first entry, way back when, was an elaborate roleplaying scenario involving fictional vampire ants, so what can you really expect from me?