TMI Tuesday

From the archives (seriously, go visit the TMI Tuesday blog because I am not trying to steal credit for anything but my answers, which were given to me on several golden plates by angels):

1. Do you prefer your lover:

a) fresh from the bath and perfumed?
b) fresh from the bath without perfume?
c) clean but not right from the tub or shower?
d) slightly sweaty (or musky)?

I don't like perfume very much, although some are better than others.  I'd say clean is good, either fresh from bathing or not.  I don't have a preference between B and C.

2. Do you maintain your body for sex with respect to facial hair, body hair, pubic hair, fingernails or toenails?

I maintain my body hair because I don't like stubble and I feel less feminine if I get hairy.  I know, I'm buying into the patriarchy, but there it is.  I also think smooth is sexy, so yeah, the body hair issue is probably at least somewhat sexual.  My pubes come and go as they please these days.  I used to be much more rigorous, but lately I trim more often than I shave.  That's largely for sexy reasons, but neatness feels more comfortable.  I'm obsessive about my nails, and they get both cleaned and clipped regularly.  There's a very, very small part of the fingernails which is a sex thing, because fingering people with ragged nails can get ugly, but mostly it's because I'm OCD, and I use that term advisedly.  I am not, "Oh, I'm such a neat freak, I must be OCD," OCD.  I am, "Imbalances in my brain chemistry coupled with psychological issues I don't understand make me obsessive about some things for no reason, even if I'm not as severely handicapped by it as some people," OCD.  Kids, please use "anal retentive" instead.  It's more fun to say and no one believes Freud any more so you're not crazy-shaming people.

3. Do you maintain/prepare according to your lover’s preferences?

Yes.  If I know what they are, I make accommodations.  I don't do anything a lover wants, but if Sveta for instance were to decide that she enjoyed a shaved pussy more and she expressed this preference to me, I would take it into account.  One night stands and unexpected lovin' don't get frills, although if someone wanted to wash before sexy times I would be okay with that.

4. Do you have body adornments such as piercings or tattoos for sexual reasons? Does your lover?

I don't have any piercings other than my ears, and I have no tattoos.  I've never been hardcore enough.  As for "my lover," which one?  The tattoos and piercings I've been with over the years have never been explicitly stated for sexual reasons, although clit piercings have got to be at least partially for that, right?  No, I don't know, really.  Sheri has a pierced clit, had a pierced tongue for a while before she got sick of it and let it grow closed, and has tattoos, at least one of which she received in exchange for a long session of butt-fucking, although I don't know if the tattoo itself was for sexual reasons, just the payment was in kind.

5. Do you choose any cosmetics, lubes, condoms or other sexually relevant items according to how they taste? Do you not use them because of the taste?

I'm not in love with Astroglide as a taste.  I don't usually go in for flavors except as a lark.  Basically, I don't lube for just giving head, and if I give head to someone who has been lubed, I don't care about the taste unless it's horrible, which I've not run into.  Most modern lubes don't taste or smell like much of anything to me.  I don't like the taste of latex, so I've never been into dental dams, but I'll grin and bear it and the taste goes away after a bit anyway.

6. Is there a taste or aroma that turns you on or that you can use to turn on your lover?

Me?  I like all kinds of tastes and smells.  The smell of a clean, aroused cunt is very much a turn-on, as is a bit of manly musk (not funk, understand, just that smell that you sometimes get off a guy who's ready to go).  Baby powder turns me on.  That's the strangest one, I think.  Everything else is pretty much either obvious or isn't an automatic turn-on and depends on context.

As far as lovers, the sky's the limit.  I've had lovers be turned on by all sorts of smells.  I once fucked a guy who was a fart-lover, but he was suitably shy about it and only broached the subject after he was fucking my ass and natural things happened. Yes, girls will fart if you fuck them in the ass.  Sorry to bust your bubble.

He didn't just pull out and start sniffing, but when I apologized (because it's natural but still a little embarrassing) he said he didn't mind and actually... well, he liked it.  And he was a decent guy, and I don't judge people's turn-ons if they're honest about them and they're not hurting anyone, so I said I'd be happy to try to make the magic happen again.  He looked like I was giving him Christmas and a birthday all rolled into one.  I guess he was used to being judged.  Hell, he looked thrilled that I didn't kick him out right then and there and asked him about it.

And I admit, while I don't want to smell my own or anyone else's farts in a sexual or other context, I got into it a little.  I spread my ass open and told him to stick his nose right up against my asshole, and then I tried to summon a fart without also accidentally summoning anything else.  Which was harder to do that you'd think.  Finally though, I managed one, and he inhaled it like it was a fine wine, and then grabbed my hips and pressed his nose into my ass forcefully.  He begged me for one more, and after the first the second was easier.  After he inhaled it all, he hopped up and vigorously pounded my ass until more little squeaks were coming unbidden (a sex-fart, like a queef, doesn't smell much and is really just trapped air being pushed out) and then finally unloaded in my ass, then rolled me over and ate out my pussy and ass at the same time until I was cumming like crazy.  All in all, totally worth indulging his fetish.

Bonus: Do you prepare a room for sex–mood music, candles, scent, cleaning it or anything? Tell us about it.

Depends.  If it's a special occasion, sure, I'll prepare, although it's not always the same prep and it's not always those items.  When I've been in a long-term relationship with a man, he's usually the one who does that kind of prep because I enjoy being pampered a little, I confess.  But I'll set the scene for others too.  I don't have a go-to; it's organic and based on what the occasion is or what I have available.  I've never done the romantic movie cliche of strewing rose petals all over the bed because that's in romantic movies for a reason: they don't have to worry about staining the sheets with crushed rose essence.  If you're going to do that, do it in a bathtub (and then make sure the bathtub is big enough to do what you have planned, because most of them aren't).  But I'll certainly light a candle, lower the lights, and lie there naked and waiting for when Sveta gets home.