TMI Tuesday

From the archives:  And you'd better believe I'm going to explain all my choices because why bother otherwise?

Pick one. You must pick one. You can elaborate on your answer if you want, but you must pick one.

1. Are you male or female or other?

I like being a woman.  There are definitely downsides to it, but I still like it.  But if there's a gender option which has both a penis and vagina which can swap out at will or coexist, which doesn't bleed every month, and which is just preternaturally wealthy, I'll take that.

2. Dog or cat?

Cat.  Like dogs, love cats.  Stereotypical I'm sure.  I've had both, but while dogs can be fun, cats are easier to live with in a lot of ways.  If you hate cats, I don't hate you, I just think you're missing out.

3. Peanut butter or wasabi peas?

I like me some wasabi peas but they get old after a while if you eat a lot of them.  Peanut butter is more versatile.  Unless they meant some sort of peanut butter flavored peas, in which case I'll take the wasabi option.

4. Group midnight nude swim or ‘mooning‘ strangers?

Group swim.  More potential for hanky-panky, less for arrest or mass humiliation. Plus I like swimming.

5. Sneaker Pimps or IAMX?

Okay, I had to look this up because I have no idea what the fuck either of these options are, and if you're like me, apparently IAMX is a band formed by the lead singer of Sneaker Pimps.  So this is a Van Halen/David Lee Roth question, I guess.  Since I don't know their music other than that it's trip-hop (and I don't really know what that means because I'm old and you kids get off my lawn) I'm going with Van Halen.  Keep the band together.  Sneaker Pimps all the way!  People like it when I have strongly-held opinions about things which don't matter and I know nothing about!!!1!

6. Bologna or Braunschweiger?

Not sure I've ever had Braunshweiger.  I'm not a huge fan of bologna, but fried is pretty good, so I guess I'll take that, with some good mustard, maybe some onion.

7. Vanilla or kinky?

Depends on your definitions.  If we're going by mainstream America, probably kinky.  I like a bit of fun.  But I'm not really kinky.  I don't claim it at all.

8. Rocky road or chocolate ice cream?

If it's good ice cream, chocolate.  If it's bad, Rocky Road.  There's more to distract you from the lack of quality if there are marshmallows and nuts in it.

9. Red M&M or green M&M

Bring back the brown ones. I know, I know, I have to pick one. Red.  Red is the color of passion.  They're all M&Ms.  Eat them and don't worry about the color.  Although I do segregate my M&Ms by color and eat them so it works out evenly because I'm mentally ill and I wish I were joking about this.

10. Pepsi or Coke?

Battery acid chased by camel piss.  Coke and Pepsi are both nasty.  If I had to choose,  Pepsi, because it's slightly less disgusting.  God, don't make me choose.

11. Mini Cooper or Fiat Abarth?

Cars.  Small cars.  I don't like small cars.  They're both wonderful I'm sure, even though they're massively overpriced and probably don't do any better at getting me from Point A to Point B than a beater from the used car lot.  Whichever one is more comfortable is the winner, and as I've only ever ridden in a Mini and it was torture I'm going to say that the Mini wins by virtue of being slightly more accessible to someone in my income bracket.

12. Pleasure or pain?

Pleasure.  I've said before that I don't really get off on pain, which is a shame because if I did I would be in hog Heaven what with my inability to cum without feeling like I'm being stabbed in the gut.  Cumming would make me cum, which would make me cum some more, and I'd pretty much cum until I passed out.  Sounds like a hassle.  I like cumming as much as the next two or three people combined, but you can't just always be cumming.  It takes the spice out of the hunt.

Bonus: Pick one – Participate in the London World Bike Naked Ride or Japan’s Festival of the Steel Phallus affectionately known as Penis Fest properly called Kanamara Matsuri.

Look these up too I guess.   The London Bike Ride seems like it's sexier, plus I'd rather go to London than Japan.  But riding a bike naked sounds painful and slightly more dangerous than riding it clothed.  Still, the pictures are sexier.  They're both at least ostensibly for good causes, I guess.  And I am shy about being naked in public, shockingly.  Still, a bunch of penis-shaped things in a festival versus a bunch of naked people seems like an easy call, plus from the looks of the pictures not everyone is totally nude (although I say go big or go home, so I'd do it nude if I had to do it).  Naked Bike Ride for the win.