TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. Can you tell when your lover is close to having an orgasm? How can you tell? What are the signs?

Sveta's pretty easy, actually.  I can feel the tension building up, and she starts getting wetter and wetter.  It's not like a countdown clock or anything; I can't say, "Okay, five more seconds and she's going to cum."  But she's pretty easy to tell.  If my finger is inside her I can really feel her tensing up.  And she flushes too, although that can happen way before she's going to cum so I wouldn't say that's a definite way to tell.

Mike has always been easy too; his breathing changes pace and intensity before he cums.  Dad is a harder nut to crack (pun intended).  Sometimes he can be perfectly normal, fucking away, and then suddenly it's go time.  Other lovers have been more vocal as they got closer, or less vocal.  And a lot of my lovers give me warnings before they cum (they're not warning me, but they'll tell me they're getting close) because I guess porn has trained us all to announce our intentions to orgasm before we do so.  I don't mind that so much, if it's not obviously something you learned from watching porn.  If it's in the course of sex and we're communicating, no biggie.

2. Ladies have you ever seen YOUR g-spot? Men have you actually seen the g-spot?

Seen?  Exactly where the heck is my g-spot supposed to be that you can see it without a speculum?  I'm not sure whether I believe in a single g-spot anyway; I think it varies from person to person and also from day to day sometimes, to be honest.  I've felt what people describe as "the g-spot" with my fingers, but that's not always where the pleasure is.  But seen it?  Certainly not my own.  What kind of contortionist speculum-fetishist do you think I am?

3. Which sexual position do you find most stimulating?
a. missionary
b. woman on top, facing man
c. doggy style
d. other – tell us about it

In terms of pure stimulation... it depends on what kind of stimulation you mean.  Missionary is my favorite position, but if I want depth that's usually not the way to go, at least not traditional missionary.  I've been fucked in what would I suppose be loosely called missionary position where my legs were up to my chest, and that's fine for depth, but I wouldn't necessarily call that "missionary."

Any position with grinding, like cowgirl or missionary, is great for clit stimulation.  Doggy is terrific for a good hard fuck with thrusting.  It really depends on the partner.  And of course, that's assuming I'm with a man.  With a woman, there's all sorts of variables too.

But I think I might find missionary most stimulating because there's a lot of contact.  I don't mind if the only skin I feel is cock and a hand, plus occasional touches of hips as he thrusts, but I do like full-body contact, and missionary is no slouch when it comes to stimulation, because depth isn't always the most important thing.

4. When you orgasm, are you:
a. silent
b. make a little noise
c. yell out!

I make a little noise.  I'm not a screamer.  Definitely moans.

5. A lover orgasms quickly, way before you are even close to having an orgasm. Do you stop the sex once he/she has had an orgasm or do you continue sexual play so you can orgasm too?

What's the situation?  In most cases where I would care deeply, my partner isn't going to leave me hanging.  Plus, with girls it's totally different; there's got to be some quid pro quo there because a lot of times if I'm eating a girl out, I'm not going to get off before she does no matter how long she takes, so there's definitely the expectation that I will get her attention in return once I'm done with her.  Not that all lesbian sex is one girl's head between the other's legs at all, but if that's what's going down, she'll cum and we'll switch (assuming I'm not just getting her off with no expectations, which I do also do).  But with a guy, if it's a random fuck and he cums quickly and then shows no interest in continuing to give me any pleasure, I'm probably not going to pursue the issue because fuck him.

Bonus: On average, when you masturbate how long does it take to reach orgasm?
a. Less than 3 minutes
b. 3 – 5 minutes
c. 5 – 10 minutes
d. more than 10 minutes

Are we talking from a cold start?  And when does the clock start?  Sex isn't just about genitals.  But assuming that we're talking either from the moment I start playing with my own pussy or someone else either starts seriously paying attention to it with the intent to cause orgasm, I used to be able to say, pretty reliably, that unless it was terrible, 5-10 minutes was a safe bet.  Sometimes way less than that, but 5-10 was my wheelhouse.  Nowadays it takes me longer, obviously.  And it doesn't have to be 5-10 minutes of continuous action either; if I have the right partner or the right vibe and they're going all out for the whole time, it was usually shorter.