TMI Tuesday

Because the last one wasn't terribly sexy, here's lots of sexy questions from the archives which I will answer in a profoundly un-sexy manner because no one ever asks me questions. Take that!

1. How often do you sext?

Never?  Maybe once or twice in my life have I sent a text which could have been interpreted as a sext.  Booty call texts, sure.  But actually going back and forth?  I don't even sex chat anymore.

2. How many dick pics have you sent in the last 3 months? 6 months? Year?

I have never sent a dick pic.  Don't sound so surprised.  If we're going to interpret this broadly as possible, I have sent pictures of myself in various states of undress maybe 5 times in the past year.  I don't do it much.  Occasionally I'll send someone something but it's usually not something I took right then.  I'm shy and I know too many horror stories.

3. Do you prefer to send pics of your boobs or your vajayjay (aka pussy, in case you didn’t know)?

Probably boobs.  I'm topless a lot, and the pussy seems more intimate.  Which is strange, coming from me.  I'm very nudity-positive.  But I still guard the flower garden a bit more than the melon patch. It's a shame, in a way, because my tits aren't all that spectacular but I think my pussy is cute as hell.

4. Do you prefer to receive pics of boobs or a woman’s genitals?

Depends.  I also like ass pictures, if anyone wants to send me some.  I think I might prefer a holistic pic of the whole body to any specific body part.  But if the pussy is pretty, I enjoy a pretty pussy.  Boobs are great and more universally appealing, maybe.  I don't know.  I'm not terribly picky when it comes to ladies sending me sexy pictures.

5. Dick pics, do you really think they are sexy?

Unsolicited, not at all.  Don't send unsolicited dick pics to anyone.  You're not impressive, you're not sexy, you're just a douche.  And even if your dick might otherwise be sexy, it won't be in context.

However, if I'm talking with someone and they send me a pic of their D in a nice way, that can be sexy, particularly if it's a sexy D.  It's not going to make me cream my panties or anything, but I might enjoy it and compliment you on it.

I also, strangely, do appreciate a "tribute" (which is, for those like me who didn't know, a picture of a girl which a guy has ejaculated upon) to me, although it doesn't have to be on a picture of me.  Knowing that I made you cum is sexy.  Again, solicited: don't send me random pics of spooge.  But if you read something I wrote and it makes you cum buckets and you decide to share that fact with me with pics for proof, I love that.  Ladies, you can tell me all about how I made you cum too, although I understand that the pictorial evidence might be less photogenic.  But guys and gals, if I write something sexy and you wank to it, I do not mind hearing about it.  I'm not writing chaste poetry.  Wank away, and if it makes you cum, I take that as a compliment.

6. Do you send unsolicited pics of your genitals?

No.  Never.  Why would I?  It's unpleasant and it doesn't work and it's giving away the goods for free. Seriously guys (sorry, it's usually guys) don't do this.  It's counterproductive.  I honestly, given the current state of the world, would advise against sending too many solicited pics of your genitals.  No one is as secure as they think they are.

7. Are you more impressed and willing to get to know, meet-up with, date, or have sex with someone who presents a “good dick pic” or “nice tits” pic?

Probably not.  I don't know what a "good" one of those would be anyway.  Sure, if you send me a pic of your naughty bits and they're nice, it might make me want to experience them in person, but it can be any pic.  It's certainly not going to make me want to fuck you if I wouldn't have before.

Bonus: Just how sexy are you?

Magenta?  What scale are we using here?  I like to think that I'm reasonably sexy in certain circumstances.  In day-to-day life, I'm probably a lot less sexy than you think I am.  And in the bedroom, I'm a sex machine.