TMI Tuesday

If you were a sex worker what kind of sex work would you NOT do?

Honestly, sex with strangers for money would be the last resort for me. No judgments on people who do it; I think they're heroes. But I have difficulties with it. I would have to have right of refusal, and that would pretty much mean that I couldn't work as a sex worker. Not that there aren't prostitutes who can refuse a customer, just that if I were contemplating sex work I don't think I'd be in a position to refuse anyone. I don't know. This is all seeming like I devalue sex workers or something, and that's not true. It's a skill, and I'm not sure I have the skill.

You are a sex worker and you must have a specialty. Which ONE of the following would be your specialty and why?
a. Live sex shows
b. Professional domination
c. Camming

Camming would be easiest for me in many ways. I could do it from my home, I could bring my friends, and I might be able to get over my shyness if I didn't have to worry about the audience. I mean, I'd have to worry about them, but not in the same way. Negative feedback would probably send me into a spiral of depression though. Like I said, sex work requires skill. It's not easy. I'm not sure I have what it takes, not that I'm not sexy, but that I have hangups.

What is your secret fetish?

I don't know how secret it is, but innocence. Take that to mean whatever you'd like.

Anal sex can be pretty alluring? Tell the truth, which do you prefer anal or vaginal sex?

I prefer vaginal most of the time, but I love me some anal so it's a close race.

What is the most embarrassing thing you have said during sex?

I've probably answered this before so I reserve the right to have forgotten whatever I said before and substitute what most readily comes to mind. Once I was riding a guy, hard, both of us sweaty and vacant like you get when your mind has gone away and your genitals are driving the whole train. He reached up and cupped my breasts and when his palms hit my nipples I blurted out, "Oh my gosh oh my gosh I'm gonna cum baby like baby like!" I have no idea where that came from. He was enough of a gentleman not to mention it. I wasn't imagining being fucked by my dad or anything. I was just totally gone and those were the words my mouth decided to say with no input from central control. 

I did, in fact, cum hard, which made him cum hard into me, and things were just fine until after my brain turned back on and I remembered what I'd said, in all its glory. Like I said, he didn't mention it, and while I blushed unexplainedly, I didn't mention it either. It occasionally pops up in one of my brain's Slideshows of Times You Wish You Could Forget. I almost wish he'd mentioned it so we could have laughed about it or something, but as it is, my brain fills in his inner monologue just fine, and I'm sure he was deeply chagrined. It may not seem like a terribly embarrassing thing to say, but as I had been talking dirty just fine before, breaking into PG-rated moans and then "Baby like?" Yeah, maybe you had to be there.

Is your g-spot in your ass? If no, where is it?

I'm not at all sure about the G-spot. I'm pretty sure it's not in my ass, but I certainly have erogenous zones there, as well as in the wall between my pussy and ass, and the upper wall of my pussy, which is, I thought, traditionally where the G-spot was thought to be located. I'm not saying I don't have spots, just that I'm not sure whether any of them are the G-spot.

You have been offered free plastic surgery for one part of your body, what will you fix?

My stomach. It could use some tightening and I hate sit-ups.

Would you reveal a deep dark, shameful or embarrassing secret about your partner for one million dollars?

I'd have to figure one out first, but I think if I told Sveta the deal, she'd be behind me. Hell, she could reveal certain things about me for a million. Not things which would wind up with me or my family members in jail, but she could reveal things which would be worth a million bucks. We could use the money.

But if this is asking what my price for revealing something my sig-o would not want revealed is, that's higher than a million. We all have our price, and a million isn't it.

Who did you first come out to and why did you choose that person?

I'm not sure I've "come out" per se. I guess I came out as bi at some point, but it wasn't big and dramatic, it was just something I didn't hide. I don't know. It was a non-event. That's probably why I've had such a hard time thinking of myself as queer and deserving of Pride and so forth. I mean, I'm married to a woman. I am allowed to be queer. But I feel like I've not really suffered for it, maybe?

Has someone come out to you? What was your reaction?

Several people, and my reaction is always, "Yay! I'm so happy for you!" Or whatever works that expresses my love and admiration for their bravery. And my acceptance. Please come out to me. I'm like the tutorial level of the video game of coming out. I will congratulate you and you'll feel great.

Recent studies show that smartphones are causing decreased intimacy among partners. In your relationship is the smartphone a saboteur or helping hand?

I don't think it's either. I think it hurts some things, but relationship-wise I'm not sure it really has much effect on us, other than perhaps making us both sit on the couch on our phones more than we should. But if we weren't on our phones, we'd be sitting on the couch watching TV or reading books. I don't know that it's done anything but shift what we do in our down time.

Tell us something that you do that could cause someone to say “What Will the Neighbors Think?

I wander around my house naked? I have wild, unrestrained sex with people young enough to be my daughter in my bedroom? What don't I do?

What was your most recent motivation for masturbation?

It was a day ending in Y.

Do you regularly view porn? What’s regular?

All the time. I used to get off on various different stimuli, but these days I've been getting off on videos almost exclusively when it comes to solo spank time.

List the top 3 pieces of lingerie you like to see on women?

A woman wearing panties and no bra is, right now, my height of sexiness. I don't know why the panties. Other than that, I like a nice teddy, and I can enjoy some stockings. Bras are fine, but for whatever reason a gal wearing just panties sends me.

Are you seriously expecting an honest reply to, “Does this make me look fat?”

No, which is why I never ask this question. Only kidding. I ask it because I'm feeling fat and want someone to validate me by lying. Guys, gals, and non-binary pals who have trouble with this, the question means, "Please tell me I'm pretty." You don't have to lie. You can say, "You look great!" If that's a lie, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship with this person where they'll ask you this question. Or maybe lying is okay? I don't know, I'm just a gal hoping someone will tell her she looks pretty.

How offended would you be if someone called your eyebrows ugly?

Not very. My eyebrow game is not on point. I don't get them shaped or anything. I just pluck the hairs which seem out of place. I mean, if someone went out of their way to tell me, with no preamble, that my eyebrows were ugly, I would think they were a rude asshole, but it wouldn't ruin my day or anything.

Is there ever a good time to send a dick pic?

Dick-havers, there is one time when it's a good time to send a dick pic, and that's when the person to whom you're about to send it has said, "Please send me a dick pic." Seriously, solicited dick pics are fine. It's all about consent. Not sure why this is difficult.

For the record, you may feel free to send me dick pics, particularly if you send them with the caption, "This is what reading your latest story has made me do," or similar and you're spewing copious quantities of cum. Or even if you're just stroking. I am always happy to see that kind of review. But if you expect something in return, you may be disappointed. Also, if you don't feel like sending a picture but want to tell me, "Your story made me cum three times," that's great too. I don't write this blog to do anything more than get people off. It's smut. I'm a peddler of smut. That you are aroused by it is a testament to its quality. No offense will be taken.