From the archives:
1. Why do you like sexting or virtual sex (chatting, skype, etc.)?
I used to do a fair amount of chat back in the days when things like IRC were a thing. I enjoyed virtual sex, but it usually devolved into me just telling stories, which is why I started the blog because I felt like I got off more on telling the stories than virtual sex anyway, and it's easier to tell a long, involved story in a blog than in a chat window. Plus, typing while diddling is tough.
2. When you’re about to “get busy”…get down & dirty, you know, have sex, do you like to be undressed by your lover or take off all your clothes by yourself?
Depends on how submissive I'm feeling. Sometimes it's nice to be undressed. Sometimes it's more fun if you're both so ready to go that you just rip the clothes off yourself. Sometimes it's fun to keep the clothes on.
But there is something extremely sexy about either doing a strip-tease for your partner or for them to slowly, sensually undress you while you are powerless to stop them. Again, depends on how submissive I'm feeling. Also, what clothes I'm wearing. If I'm wearing something which isn't fun to take off, I just want to get naked. But if I'm wearing something fun, by all means, undress me and caress me.
3. What is the most desperate thing you’ve done for sex?
Offered it to someone with whom I didn't really want to have sex. As unlikely as it sounds, I have been in situations where I had no other options but people I didn't care for at all. But the vagina wants what the vagina wants.
4. Libido booster drugs for women (viagra for women) will hit the market soon. Are you interested in trying them? Will you take the new drug(s)? Why or why not?
(If you are a man, would you like for your female lover to take such a drug?)
Why does it have to assume that I need to be a man for my partner to be a woman?
I wouldn't take them because my libido is already pretty stoked and it doesn't seem like I need any help. I guess if I were offered one, I might take it to see what it did, but if all it did was increase my sex drive, I can't see the point for me. I need a pill which helps me enjoy sex more, not a pill which makes me more receptive to it.
As far as a partner, if it were something they needed, I'd support it.
"Lady Viagra" is an odd thing to think about. Viagra isn't really a sex-drive enhancer; it just makes you hard. I'm not sure what the female equivalent of "makes you hard" is. If it makes you cum more easily, that sounds great. If it's to treat female sexual disfunction of a kind which makes it impossible to have sex in the same way that erectile disfunction affects men, that I'm all for the drug and I hope it helps a lot of women, but I don't need it. I can have sex, I just have issues with arousal making me hurt. It's possible that taking this pill would put me in a lot of pain.
Bonus: If it were legal in your country/community to visit a “sex box” would you?
Probably not, because I'm not terribly interested in visiting a prostitute in any circumstance. I have nothing against it, but I'm just not interested in it at the moment.
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
TMI Tuesday
From the archives:
1. Create your perfect job. What do you do?
Honestly, what I do now is pretty nice, just without any stability of hours. But if I were creating my perfect job, it would probably involve cataloguing data, maybe editing, maybe a bit of programming. And the hours would be set entirely by me.
2. What person has changed you for the better?
Jesus? No, only kidding; he's a nice guy, but we have differences of opinion on some theological matters. I could be incredibly cliched and say Sveta, who has indeed changed me for the better. But I also have candidates who are teachers or people who've taught me things. I'm far from perfect, but I'm definitely a better person because of things I've learned from various people.
3. Cat person or dog person?
Like dogs, love cats. I'm definitely more of a cat person as far as temperament goes.
4. Who is your favorite relative? Why?
God, don't make me choose. Also, what counts as "relative?" I don't have that many relatives, really. I guess if I have to pick people outside my immediate family, Aunt Dierdre is probably my favorite, but it's a close race and she only wins because she's fun to hang out with.
5. Mop the floor or iron clothes?
Floor mopping, although I'd rather do neither. I'm not domestic. But I have plenty of floor-mopping experience. I know more about swabbing decks and tying knots than a sailor, and that's because theater is basically a ship on dry land.
6. Which would you rather have, a swimming pool or a gardener? Why?
This is a tough one. On the one hand, I'd love to have a swimming pool, but I don't want to have to maintain it or pay for its maintenance. If I could have a maintenance-free swimming pool, that would be very tempting. But I'd have to have a completely different house and yard for that to work. If I'm getting either a pool in my current situation or a gardener in my current situation, going to have to go for the gardener because I really hate yard work. I don't have a garden and my gardener would be more of a landscaper, but being able to pass off the mowing and trimming and raking duties to someone else would be totally worth it.
Bonus: Are you better at giving oral sex or receiving oral sex?
Giving? I mean, you have to be pretty bad at giving oral if you're better at receiving it, at least as far as I'm concerned. Receiving oral is pretty easy. Maybe there's some higher tier of oral reception I haven't reached, but getting oral is hard to screw up. Also, I flatter myself that I'm pretty good at giving oral.
1. Create your perfect job. What do you do?
Honestly, what I do now is pretty nice, just without any stability of hours. But if I were creating my perfect job, it would probably involve cataloguing data, maybe editing, maybe a bit of programming. And the hours would be set entirely by me.
2. What person has changed you for the better?
Jesus? No, only kidding; he's a nice guy, but we have differences of opinion on some theological matters. I could be incredibly cliched and say Sveta, who has indeed changed me for the better. But I also have candidates who are teachers or people who've taught me things. I'm far from perfect, but I'm definitely a better person because of things I've learned from various people.
3. Cat person or dog person?
Like dogs, love cats. I'm definitely more of a cat person as far as temperament goes.
4. Who is your favorite relative? Why?
God, don't make me choose. Also, what counts as "relative?" I don't have that many relatives, really. I guess if I have to pick people outside my immediate family, Aunt Dierdre is probably my favorite, but it's a close race and she only wins because she's fun to hang out with.
5. Mop the floor or iron clothes?
Floor mopping, although I'd rather do neither. I'm not domestic. But I have plenty of floor-mopping experience. I know more about swabbing decks and tying knots than a sailor, and that's because theater is basically a ship on dry land.
6. Which would you rather have, a swimming pool or a gardener? Why?
This is a tough one. On the one hand, I'd love to have a swimming pool, but I don't want to have to maintain it or pay for its maintenance. If I could have a maintenance-free swimming pool, that would be very tempting. But I'd have to have a completely different house and yard for that to work. If I'm getting either a pool in my current situation or a gardener in my current situation, going to have to go for the gardener because I really hate yard work. I don't have a garden and my gardener would be more of a landscaper, but being able to pass off the mowing and trimming and raking duties to someone else would be totally worth it.
Bonus: Are you better at giving oral sex or receiving oral sex?
Giving? I mean, you have to be pretty bad at giving oral if you're better at receiving it, at least as far as I'm concerned. Receiving oral is pretty easy. Maybe there's some higher tier of oral reception I haven't reached, but getting oral is hard to screw up. Also, I flatter myself that I'm pretty good at giving oral.
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
TMI Tuesday
From the archives:
1. Could you date someone who is really into Legos? Their house consist of Lego furniture, the walls are covered in 3-D Lego art or photos of mammoth Lego creations.
Why not? I love Lego. It's Lego, by the way; the plural of Lego is Lego. If it got past "passion" and into "obsession" I might have issues, but that's true of a lot of passions. But I have no problem with Lego, as long as the rest of him/her is compatible.
2. You have a big date and discover that you have run out of undies (underwear, panties), would you:
a. re-wear dirty
b. wear a swimsuit or swimsuit bottoms
c. line worn undies with fresh panty-liners
d. go commando
Depends on where I'm expecting the date to go. And what "dirty" means. If they've been worn and are sitting in the hamper or something, I'd probably re-wear them. If they're actually dirty for whatever reason, unless that's what the person I'm dating likes, I'm not going to re-wear that pair, but I'm unlikely to be in a situation where I have neither clean nor wearably-dirty underwear. But I might just go commando if I think the evening will support it, either because it's not going to get hot and heavy or because it will. I do sometimes even if I have plenty of clean panties to wear. Come on though, even if I'm wearing a pair of underwear which has been worn before, I hardly expect my partner to examine them for cleanliness. If it's a choice between wearing a pair of panties which are embarrassingly bad for whatever reason or going without, I'll go without and take my chances. If someone feels me up and discovers I'm not wearing underwear, I don't think that's likely to be a deal-breaker.
3. In order to date the person of your dreams, you must be in a reality show with them. Would you date him/her? Why?
Probably not. I mean, "person of my dreams" is hard to judge without dating them first, so it would probably have to be some hot person with whom I would like to canoodle, and frankly appearing on a reality show would ruin any chances of our having a normal relationship anyway. Plenty of fish in the sea without that kind of baggage.
4. You have been dating a certain someone for a while, you two click and you really like them but they confided to you that they are a crime-fighting super hero? Do you still date them or let the relationship cool? Why?
In some fantasy world where there were actual crime-fighting super heroes, sure, why not? If I've been dating them for long enough that they can open up to me and confide this secret to me, then I probably know them well enough that I would know whether I wanted to be with them regardless of their alter-ego. It would be like any other job. Sure, I might worry that they would be killed, but I could worry that about any number of jobs, so either I would like them enough that I would worry and put up with the worry or I wouldn't and wouldn't.
In reality... I'd have to think about it. Seems a little detached from reality, and I don't know that I need that in my life. All of the above would still apply though. If they weren't delusional and were actually doing something like people do in the real world (there are costumed crime-fighters in the real world and they can do good things, albeit with less fighting super-villains and more helping people) then I might be able to live with it. Hell, I might ask to join them.
I'm not into superheroes though, so if they were the type of person who's not totally insane but just delusional enough or obsessed enough to be annoying about it, I might decline. But again, I would think I would know this about them from dating them for long enough to know that I really like them and that we click. And I don't tend to click with annoying people.
5. You are on a date with someone you really want to impress. Your pants/skirt/shirt/bra split early in the date. What do you do?
a. Tie a jacket or sweater around your waist or put the jacket or sweater on to hide the issue
b. Stop at a drugstore and buy safety pins, and in secret try to fix and hide problem
c. ‘Fess up to the problem, let it all hang out and continue with the date
d. Cut the date short and go home
Totally depends on the situation. I could definitely turn it around by fessing up, because I don't date people who would be so uptight about that sort of thing that it would make them never want to see me again, and it would be a stupid thing we could both laugh about later. But when I was younger and dumber, I probably would have tried to hide it and been embarrassed.
Bonus:
You went away for the weekend with your new romantic love interest. He/she had planned a wonderful weekend of outdoor fun for you both but it has started to rain and storms are in the forecast for the next few days. What do you suggest the two of you do instead?
Stay inside. Or run around in the rain if it's warm. Either way, plenty of romantic options when it's raining. We could just stay in our hotel or cabin or whatever and fuck endlessly. I'm not saying I wouldn't be a little disappointed and understand that they too were disappointed, because if we had planned to do fun things other than just be outside and we couldn't that would be a bummer. But I'm flexible with plans.
1. Could you date someone who is really into Legos? Their house consist of Lego furniture, the walls are covered in 3-D Lego art or photos of mammoth Lego creations.
Why not? I love Lego. It's Lego, by the way; the plural of Lego is Lego. If it got past "passion" and into "obsession" I might have issues, but that's true of a lot of passions. But I have no problem with Lego, as long as the rest of him/her is compatible.
2. You have a big date and discover that you have run out of undies (underwear, panties), would you:
a. re-wear dirty
b. wear a swimsuit or swimsuit bottoms
c. line worn undies with fresh panty-liners
d. go commando
Depends on where I'm expecting the date to go. And what "dirty" means. If they've been worn and are sitting in the hamper or something, I'd probably re-wear them. If they're actually dirty for whatever reason, unless that's what the person I'm dating likes, I'm not going to re-wear that pair, but I'm unlikely to be in a situation where I have neither clean nor wearably-dirty underwear. But I might just go commando if I think the evening will support it, either because it's not going to get hot and heavy or because it will. I do sometimes even if I have plenty of clean panties to wear. Come on though, even if I'm wearing a pair of underwear which has been worn before, I hardly expect my partner to examine them for cleanliness. If it's a choice between wearing a pair of panties which are embarrassingly bad for whatever reason or going without, I'll go without and take my chances. If someone feels me up and discovers I'm not wearing underwear, I don't think that's likely to be a deal-breaker.
3. In order to date the person of your dreams, you must be in a reality show with them. Would you date him/her? Why?
Probably not. I mean, "person of my dreams" is hard to judge without dating them first, so it would probably have to be some hot person with whom I would like to canoodle, and frankly appearing on a reality show would ruin any chances of our having a normal relationship anyway. Plenty of fish in the sea without that kind of baggage.
4. You have been dating a certain someone for a while, you two click and you really like them but they confided to you that they are a crime-fighting super hero? Do you still date them or let the relationship cool? Why?
In some fantasy world where there were actual crime-fighting super heroes, sure, why not? If I've been dating them for long enough that they can open up to me and confide this secret to me, then I probably know them well enough that I would know whether I wanted to be with them regardless of their alter-ego. It would be like any other job. Sure, I might worry that they would be killed, but I could worry that about any number of jobs, so either I would like them enough that I would worry and put up with the worry or I wouldn't and wouldn't.
In reality... I'd have to think about it. Seems a little detached from reality, and I don't know that I need that in my life. All of the above would still apply though. If they weren't delusional and were actually doing something like people do in the real world (there are costumed crime-fighters in the real world and they can do good things, albeit with less fighting super-villains and more helping people) then I might be able to live with it. Hell, I might ask to join them.
I'm not into superheroes though, so if they were the type of person who's not totally insane but just delusional enough or obsessed enough to be annoying about it, I might decline. But again, I would think I would know this about them from dating them for long enough to know that I really like them and that we click. And I don't tend to click with annoying people.
5. You are on a date with someone you really want to impress. Your pants/skirt/shirt/bra split early in the date. What do you do?
a. Tie a jacket or sweater around your waist or put the jacket or sweater on to hide the issue
b. Stop at a drugstore and buy safety pins, and in secret try to fix and hide problem
c. ‘Fess up to the problem, let it all hang out and continue with the date
d. Cut the date short and go home
Totally depends on the situation. I could definitely turn it around by fessing up, because I don't date people who would be so uptight about that sort of thing that it would make them never want to see me again, and it would be a stupid thing we could both laugh about later. But when I was younger and dumber, I probably would have tried to hide it and been embarrassed.
Bonus:
You went away for the weekend with your new romantic love interest. He/she had planned a wonderful weekend of outdoor fun for you both but it has started to rain and storms are in the forecast for the next few days. What do you suggest the two of you do instead?
Stay inside. Or run around in the rain if it's warm. Either way, plenty of romantic options when it's raining. We could just stay in our hotel or cabin or whatever and fuck endlessly. I'm not saying I wouldn't be a little disappointed and understand that they too were disappointed, because if we had planned to do fun things other than just be outside and we couldn't that would be a bummer. But I'm flexible with plans.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Zoe Visits
I had the day off a few days ago (actually, I've had a few days off, but this was the day that mattered) and was lounging around the house waiting for Sveta to get off work, when I got a text from Zoe. "Hey, can I come over? Really stressed."
Therapy day!
She's got lots of work which is due and she's stressing out about it, so she needed a breather, and hey, rather than going to a club or something (yeah, there are so many clubs around here) she wanted to come over and blow off some steam. Who am I to refuse that?
She showed up pretty quickly. "I was already near here, driving around, trying to clear my head. I figured maybe you might be free."
"Free as a bird."
"Can you please make me cum? I haven't had any in so long."
I can't think of words I was more happy to hear at that moment. "Not even playing with yourself?"
"It just revs me up. I need you. I need someone. Sorry, that sounded awful. But I really need to cum please."
Your wish is my command, nymph. We were naked in the bed in short order, and I didn't waste any time getting my head between her legs. Poor thing was soaking wet, dripping juice. She needed it badly. I didn't bother with frills, just dove in, fingers inside her, tongue lapping at her clit, and she came, hard. Harder than I think I've ever seen Zoe cum, to be honest. She screamed, "Yes! Yes!" and squashed my head between her thighs.
I didn't let up, and she didn't stop me, and pretty soon I had my other hand under the first one, massaging her asshole, three fingers in her cunt, sloppy and a bit rough. When I pressed my middle finger into her butt, she sighed and then tensed up again, and I had to work slowly to get it all the way in, but eventually I was up to my palm in both ass and pussy, flicking away at her clit, and she was rocking her hips up and down.
We worked up a rhythm and she came again, and this time it wasn't hard, it was soft, waves and waves, her muscles tensing slightly, then relaxing. I could feel it more in her ass, which still isn't used to penetration.
"Thank you," she said finally, pulling me up and kissing my pussy-juice-stained lips, looking very tired. "God, I love you Lexi."
"My pleasure, honey. I love making you cum."
"No, I mean, I might be falling in love with you."
Okay, if this were a movie trailer, right about here is where the record scratch sound effect would play. And then the announcer would say, "But she's about to find out that coeds... fall hard." Fortunately, it isn't a movie.
"You don't mean that. You're stressed out and lonely. If Sveta had been home and I hadn't been..."
"I am lonely. Really lonely. And you've been so nice, and you make me feel amazing..."
"Honey, sex isn't love. I mean, I love you, but we're not falling in love. We don't know each other that well."
And then she started crying, and I'll just skip the parts where I had to reassure her that I wasn't angry and that I did love her and that it was okay if she loved me but that she was... etc. And then she fell asleep.
I let her sleep. Sveta came home and I told her an abbreviated version. "Well of course she's falling in love with you," said Sveta. "I mean, I fell in love with you."
"She's not, though," I said. "She's stressed."
"Are you worried I'll be jealous?"
"No, of course not. I mean, I don't want you to be jealous..."
"I'm not. She's nice, and she's sexy, and she's lonely. I'm jealous that all the cute girls throw themselves at you because I want some cute girls to throw themselves at me."
We climbed into bed with Zoe and snuggled her, and she cried a bit more, and she was apologizing again, etc. And then she started kissing Sveta, and things got less comforting and more sexy, and pretty soon Zoe was eating Sveta out while I fucked Zoe's pussy with a dildo. Poor Lexi got next to nothing. But that's okay. Getting to play with two cute girls is plenty.
And after that, things brightened considerably. Zoe apologized again, but no tears this time, and said that she loved Sveta too, and both of us, and that we were the best thing that ever happened to her. I really think she needs to find some better things to happen to her, because while Sveta and I are awesome in the sack, we're not winning-the-lottery-while-being-elected-Pope awesome. Sex is great, but you can have great sex and still have a crummy life.
Then Zoe shook herself out of the post-coital bliss and said she had to get back to work. We told her to drop by any time she needed a bit of a breather, so we may see her again, although with spring break approaching she may have other plans. We didn't ask. I hope she finds some other social circles to perk her up, although I'm totally fine with perking her up a bit.
I shouldn't sell myself short, I guess, but I always feel guilty when people are tying themselves to me. I still sometimes feel guilty that Sveta wound up with me instead of someone her own age with a better job, better health, better whatever. It makes me feel like a millstone.
And while I am completely okay with the idea of polyamory, I really don't think it's a good idea for me to start a lesbian commune with a bunch of younger women. I know, what a problem to have, but while I might be able to deal with it, I'm not sure either Sveta or Zoe would be able to share, when it came down to it. And I'd probably favor Sveta. Zoe is very nice, but I don't know her that well.
Is she falling in love with me? I hope not. I hope it was just loneliness and stress. I don't need this in my life. I tried to make it clear to Zoe that I wasn't denying her feelings or anything and that I would be happy to talk with her about things when she wasn't feeling this stressed. I hope I haven't driven her away and made her feel worse.
And yet, it certainly is a fantasy: my own private harem of cute girls. I feel guilty about that too.
Therapy day!
She's got lots of work which is due and she's stressing out about it, so she needed a breather, and hey, rather than going to a club or something (yeah, there are so many clubs around here) she wanted to come over and blow off some steam. Who am I to refuse that?
She showed up pretty quickly. "I was already near here, driving around, trying to clear my head. I figured maybe you might be free."
"Free as a bird."
"Can you please make me cum? I haven't had any in so long."
I can't think of words I was more happy to hear at that moment. "Not even playing with yourself?"
"It just revs me up. I need you. I need someone. Sorry, that sounded awful. But I really need to cum please."
Your wish is my command, nymph. We were naked in the bed in short order, and I didn't waste any time getting my head between her legs. Poor thing was soaking wet, dripping juice. She needed it badly. I didn't bother with frills, just dove in, fingers inside her, tongue lapping at her clit, and she came, hard. Harder than I think I've ever seen Zoe cum, to be honest. She screamed, "Yes! Yes!" and squashed my head between her thighs.
I didn't let up, and she didn't stop me, and pretty soon I had my other hand under the first one, massaging her asshole, three fingers in her cunt, sloppy and a bit rough. When I pressed my middle finger into her butt, she sighed and then tensed up again, and I had to work slowly to get it all the way in, but eventually I was up to my palm in both ass and pussy, flicking away at her clit, and she was rocking her hips up and down.
We worked up a rhythm and she came again, and this time it wasn't hard, it was soft, waves and waves, her muscles tensing slightly, then relaxing. I could feel it more in her ass, which still isn't used to penetration.
"Thank you," she said finally, pulling me up and kissing my pussy-juice-stained lips, looking very tired. "God, I love you Lexi."
"My pleasure, honey. I love making you cum."
"No, I mean, I might be falling in love with you."
Okay, if this were a movie trailer, right about here is where the record scratch sound effect would play. And then the announcer would say, "But she's about to find out that coeds... fall hard." Fortunately, it isn't a movie.
"You don't mean that. You're stressed out and lonely. If Sveta had been home and I hadn't been..."
"I am lonely. Really lonely. And you've been so nice, and you make me feel amazing..."
"Honey, sex isn't love. I mean, I love you, but we're not falling in love. We don't know each other that well."
And then she started crying, and I'll just skip the parts where I had to reassure her that I wasn't angry and that I did love her and that it was okay if she loved me but that she was... etc. And then she fell asleep.
I let her sleep. Sveta came home and I told her an abbreviated version. "Well of course she's falling in love with you," said Sveta. "I mean, I fell in love with you."
"She's not, though," I said. "She's stressed."
"Are you worried I'll be jealous?"
"No, of course not. I mean, I don't want you to be jealous..."
"I'm not. She's nice, and she's sexy, and she's lonely. I'm jealous that all the cute girls throw themselves at you because I want some cute girls to throw themselves at me."
We climbed into bed with Zoe and snuggled her, and she cried a bit more, and she was apologizing again, etc. And then she started kissing Sveta, and things got less comforting and more sexy, and pretty soon Zoe was eating Sveta out while I fucked Zoe's pussy with a dildo. Poor Lexi got next to nothing. But that's okay. Getting to play with two cute girls is plenty.
And after that, things brightened considerably. Zoe apologized again, but no tears this time, and said that she loved Sveta too, and both of us, and that we were the best thing that ever happened to her. I really think she needs to find some better things to happen to her, because while Sveta and I are awesome in the sack, we're not winning-the-lottery-while-being-elected-Pope awesome. Sex is great, but you can have great sex and still have a crummy life.
Then Zoe shook herself out of the post-coital bliss and said she had to get back to work. We told her to drop by any time she needed a bit of a breather, so we may see her again, although with spring break approaching she may have other plans. We didn't ask. I hope she finds some other social circles to perk her up, although I'm totally fine with perking her up a bit.
I shouldn't sell myself short, I guess, but I always feel guilty when people are tying themselves to me. I still sometimes feel guilty that Sveta wound up with me instead of someone her own age with a better job, better health, better whatever. It makes me feel like a millstone.
And while I am completely okay with the idea of polyamory, I really don't think it's a good idea for me to start a lesbian commune with a bunch of younger women. I know, what a problem to have, but while I might be able to deal with it, I'm not sure either Sveta or Zoe would be able to share, when it came down to it. And I'd probably favor Sveta. Zoe is very nice, but I don't know her that well.
Is she falling in love with me? I hope not. I hope it was just loneliness and stress. I don't need this in my life. I tried to make it clear to Zoe that I wasn't denying her feelings or anything and that I would be happy to talk with her about things when she wasn't feeling this stressed. I hope I haven't driven her away and made her feel worse.
And yet, it certainly is a fantasy: my own private harem of cute girls. I feel guilty about that too.
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
TMI Tuesday
From the archives:
1. You’ve been waiting forever for your significant other to propose marriage, when they finally do it is in the form of a bribe: “Lose 10-15 lbs. (approx. 1 stone U.K.; approx. 6 kilos) and I will marry you…the wedding can be anyway, and anywhere of your choosing…just lose some weight.”
Would you accept this proposal?
(Alternatively for the traditionalists): Men if your significant other was a little ‘heavier’ than you’d like him/her to be, would you make such a proposal?
Fuck you. No seriously, fuck you. If you come to me and say, "Honey, I'm concerned about your weight because I think it's unhealthy..." or, "Honey, this is a terrible thing to say and I hope you don't hate me, but I'm finding myself less attracted to you because you've gotten heavier..." then maybe we can talk. But if you dangle some ring over my head and tell me in order to marry me I've got to drop weight, fuck you. This isn't JV Wrestling, and fuck you.
2. Are you participating in any Halloween festivities? Will you wear a costume? If yes, what?
As you can see, this one was from Halloween-time. Since it'll be April when this gets published, even if I were more interesting than I am, I wouldn't be able to give a satisfying answer. But short answer, I rarely do much for Halloween besides sit at home, maybe watch a good Halloween movie or TV show (and I don't like horror, so that usually means something either silly or a bad monster movie or something), and hand out treats to the neighborhood children when they come by. I wish I could get it together to put a costume together, but I never do. I've been to Halloween parties and all I really wanted to do was take my costume off (read that however you'd like and you'd probably be right).
3. Forget the fact that you have a blog, in real-life are you:
a. an over-sharer who tells every detail of your personal life to everyone including the barista at Starbucks?
b. a little discriminating in who you decide to talk to about your personal life, feelings, etc.? Your love life isn’t off limits to friends and family but you don’t confide in total strangers.
c. as tight as a clam? You don’t share important details with friends and family and when you do it about kills you because you are extremely private.
I'm really none of these; I don't share my life with everyone at all times, but I don't keep secrets from my family either, for the most part. I'm not an over-sharer, let's say. I probably land somewhere between B and C: I don't open up for just anyone (which is why I enjoy blogging because it's safe exhibitionism, although I don't tell you guys much apart from the prurient details of my sordid love life) but I don't keep everything from everyone. I live a pretty compartmentalized life though.
Some people jealously guard their sex lives, but since I put different values on sex than most people, I don't view sharing my sex life as being particularly open. It doesn't really tell you about me as a person, just about some fun I've had, in the same way that someone else might show slides of their trip to the Grand Canyon or something. Very few people know me all that well. So maybe I'm more C, just with different priorities. I do find it hard to open up to people. Sex might be deeply meaningful and intimate for a lot of people, but for me it's not something I feel like opens me up (aside from the obvious joke here) to my partner. Sex isn't connection, although it's better with a connection.
4. MEN your significant other has asked to sleep with your cock in his/her mouth, what are your first thoughts? Would you say yes or no? Why?
LADIES/significant other…your guy just asked you to sleep with his penis in your mouth. Would you do it? Why or why not?
No, because I'd probably either choke or bite him. I have no problem with it in principle, although it's definitely not a fetish of mine, but in practice it would go wrong pretty quickly. If nothing else, I'd drool all over it, which isn't sexy.
Bonus: If you were remembered for one thing, what would it be?
For making the world a better place in some way, I hope. This is more aspirational than the question. If I died tomorrow, I don't know what I'd be remembered for, thing-wise. I hope some people would remember me fondly.
1. You’ve been waiting forever for your significant other to propose marriage, when they finally do it is in the form of a bribe: “Lose 10-15 lbs. (approx. 1 stone U.K.; approx. 6 kilos) and I will marry you…the wedding can be anyway, and anywhere of your choosing…just lose some weight.”
Would you accept this proposal?
(Alternatively for the traditionalists): Men if your significant other was a little ‘heavier’ than you’d like him/her to be, would you make such a proposal?
Fuck you. No seriously, fuck you. If you come to me and say, "Honey, I'm concerned about your weight because I think it's unhealthy..." or, "Honey, this is a terrible thing to say and I hope you don't hate me, but I'm finding myself less attracted to you because you've gotten heavier..." then maybe we can talk. But if you dangle some ring over my head and tell me in order to marry me I've got to drop weight, fuck you. This isn't JV Wrestling, and fuck you.
2. Are you participating in any Halloween festivities? Will you wear a costume? If yes, what?
As you can see, this one was from Halloween-time. Since it'll be April when this gets published, even if I were more interesting than I am, I wouldn't be able to give a satisfying answer. But short answer, I rarely do much for Halloween besides sit at home, maybe watch a good Halloween movie or TV show (and I don't like horror, so that usually means something either silly or a bad monster movie or something), and hand out treats to the neighborhood children when they come by. I wish I could get it together to put a costume together, but I never do. I've been to Halloween parties and all I really wanted to do was take my costume off (read that however you'd like and you'd probably be right).
3. Forget the fact that you have a blog, in real-life are you:
a. an over-sharer who tells every detail of your personal life to everyone including the barista at Starbucks?
b. a little discriminating in who you decide to talk to about your personal life, feelings, etc.? Your love life isn’t off limits to friends and family but you don’t confide in total strangers.
c. as tight as a clam? You don’t share important details with friends and family and when you do it about kills you because you are extremely private.
I'm really none of these; I don't share my life with everyone at all times, but I don't keep secrets from my family either, for the most part. I'm not an over-sharer, let's say. I probably land somewhere between B and C: I don't open up for just anyone (which is why I enjoy blogging because it's safe exhibitionism, although I don't tell you guys much apart from the prurient details of my sordid love life) but I don't keep everything from everyone. I live a pretty compartmentalized life though.
Some people jealously guard their sex lives, but since I put different values on sex than most people, I don't view sharing my sex life as being particularly open. It doesn't really tell you about me as a person, just about some fun I've had, in the same way that someone else might show slides of their trip to the Grand Canyon or something. Very few people know me all that well. So maybe I'm more C, just with different priorities. I do find it hard to open up to people. Sex might be deeply meaningful and intimate for a lot of people, but for me it's not something I feel like opens me up (aside from the obvious joke here) to my partner. Sex isn't connection, although it's better with a connection.
4. MEN your significant other has asked to sleep with your cock in his/her mouth, what are your first thoughts? Would you say yes or no? Why?
LADIES/significant other…your guy just asked you to sleep with his penis in your mouth. Would you do it? Why or why not?
No, because I'd probably either choke or bite him. I have no problem with it in principle, although it's definitely not a fetish of mine, but in practice it would go wrong pretty quickly. If nothing else, I'd drool all over it, which isn't sexy.
Bonus: If you were remembered for one thing, what would it be?
For making the world a better place in some way, I hope. This is more aspirational than the question. If I died tomorrow, I don't know what I'd be remembered for, thing-wise. I hope some people would remember me fondly.
Tuesday, March 28, 2017
TMI Tuesday
From the archives:
1. Can you tell when your lover is close to having an orgasm? How can you tell? What are the signs?
Sveta's pretty easy, actually. I can feel the tension building up, and she starts getting wetter and wetter. It's not like a countdown clock or anything; I can't say, "Okay, five more seconds and she's going to cum." But she's pretty easy to tell. If my finger is inside her I can really feel her tensing up. And she flushes too, although that can happen way before she's going to cum so I wouldn't say that's a definite way to tell.
Mike has always been easy too; his breathing changes pace and intensity before he cums. Dad is a harder nut to crack (pun intended). Sometimes he can be perfectly normal, fucking away, and then suddenly it's go time. Other lovers have been more vocal as they got closer, or less vocal. And a lot of my lovers give me warnings before they cum (they're not warning me, but they'll tell me they're getting close) because I guess porn has trained us all to announce our intentions to orgasm before we do so. I don't mind that so much, if it's not obviously something you learned from watching porn. If it's in the course of sex and we're communicating, no biggie.
2. Ladies have you ever seen YOUR g-spot? Men have you actually seen the g-spot?
Seen? Exactly where the heck is my g-spot supposed to be that you can see it without a speculum? I'm not sure whether I believe in a single g-spot anyway; I think it varies from person to person and also from day to day sometimes, to be honest. I've felt what people describe as "the g-spot" with my fingers, but that's not always where the pleasure is. But seen it? Certainly not my own. What kind of contortionist speculum-fetishist do you think I am?
3. Which sexual position do you find most stimulating?
a. missionary
b. woman on top, facing man
c. doggy style
d. other – tell us about it
In terms of pure stimulation... it depends on what kind of stimulation you mean. Missionary is my favorite position, but if I want depth that's usually not the way to go, at least not traditional missionary. I've been fucked in what would I suppose be loosely called missionary position where my legs were up to my chest, and that's fine for depth, but I wouldn't necessarily call that "missionary."
Any position with grinding, like cowgirl or missionary, is great for clit stimulation. Doggy is terrific for a good hard fuck with thrusting. It really depends on the partner. And of course, that's assuming I'm with a man. With a woman, there's all sorts of variables too.
But I think I might find missionary most stimulating because there's a lot of contact. I don't mind if the only skin I feel is cock and a hand, plus occasional touches of hips as he thrusts, but I do like full-body contact, and missionary is no slouch when it comes to stimulation, because depth isn't always the most important thing.
4. When you orgasm, are you:
a. silent
b. make a little noise
c. yell out!
I make a little noise. I'm not a screamer. Definitely moans.
5. A lover orgasms quickly, way before you are even close to having an orgasm. Do you stop the sex once he/she has had an orgasm or do you continue sexual play so you can orgasm too?
What's the situation? In most cases where I would care deeply, my partner isn't going to leave me hanging. Plus, with girls it's totally different; there's got to be some quid pro quo there because a lot of times if I'm eating a girl out, I'm not going to get off before she does no matter how long she takes, so there's definitely the expectation that I will get her attention in return once I'm done with her. Not that all lesbian sex is one girl's head between the other's legs at all, but if that's what's going down, she'll cum and we'll switch (assuming I'm not just getting her off with no expectations, which I do also do). But with a guy, if it's a random fuck and he cums quickly and then shows no interest in continuing to give me any pleasure, I'm probably not going to pursue the issue because fuck him.
Bonus: On average, when you masturbate how long does it take to reach orgasm?
a. Less than 3 minutes
b. 3 – 5 minutes
c. 5 – 10 minutes
d. more than 10 minutes
Are we talking from a cold start? And when does the clock start? Sex isn't just about genitals. But assuming that we're talking either from the moment I start playing with my own pussy or someone else either starts seriously paying attention to it with the intent to cause orgasm, I used to be able to say, pretty reliably, that unless it was terrible, 5-10 minutes was a safe bet. Sometimes way less than that, but 5-10 was my wheelhouse. Nowadays it takes me longer, obviously. And it doesn't have to be 5-10 minutes of continuous action either; if I have the right partner or the right vibe and they're going all out for the whole time, it was usually shorter.
1. Can you tell when your lover is close to having an orgasm? How can you tell? What are the signs?
Sveta's pretty easy, actually. I can feel the tension building up, and she starts getting wetter and wetter. It's not like a countdown clock or anything; I can't say, "Okay, five more seconds and she's going to cum." But she's pretty easy to tell. If my finger is inside her I can really feel her tensing up. And she flushes too, although that can happen way before she's going to cum so I wouldn't say that's a definite way to tell.
Mike has always been easy too; his breathing changes pace and intensity before he cums. Dad is a harder nut to crack (pun intended). Sometimes he can be perfectly normal, fucking away, and then suddenly it's go time. Other lovers have been more vocal as they got closer, or less vocal. And a lot of my lovers give me warnings before they cum (they're not warning me, but they'll tell me they're getting close) because I guess porn has trained us all to announce our intentions to orgasm before we do so. I don't mind that so much, if it's not obviously something you learned from watching porn. If it's in the course of sex and we're communicating, no biggie.
2. Ladies have you ever seen YOUR g-spot? Men have you actually seen the g-spot?
Seen? Exactly where the heck is my g-spot supposed to be that you can see it without a speculum? I'm not sure whether I believe in a single g-spot anyway; I think it varies from person to person and also from day to day sometimes, to be honest. I've felt what people describe as "the g-spot" with my fingers, but that's not always where the pleasure is. But seen it? Certainly not my own. What kind of contortionist speculum-fetishist do you think I am?
3. Which sexual position do you find most stimulating?
a. missionary
b. woman on top, facing man
c. doggy style
d. other – tell us about it
In terms of pure stimulation... it depends on what kind of stimulation you mean. Missionary is my favorite position, but if I want depth that's usually not the way to go, at least not traditional missionary. I've been fucked in what would I suppose be loosely called missionary position where my legs were up to my chest, and that's fine for depth, but I wouldn't necessarily call that "missionary."
Any position with grinding, like cowgirl or missionary, is great for clit stimulation. Doggy is terrific for a good hard fuck with thrusting. It really depends on the partner. And of course, that's assuming I'm with a man. With a woman, there's all sorts of variables too.
But I think I might find missionary most stimulating because there's a lot of contact. I don't mind if the only skin I feel is cock and a hand, plus occasional touches of hips as he thrusts, but I do like full-body contact, and missionary is no slouch when it comes to stimulation, because depth isn't always the most important thing.
4. When you orgasm, are you:
a. silent
b. make a little noise
c. yell out!
I make a little noise. I'm not a screamer. Definitely moans.
5. A lover orgasms quickly, way before you are even close to having an orgasm. Do you stop the sex once he/she has had an orgasm or do you continue sexual play so you can orgasm too?
What's the situation? In most cases where I would care deeply, my partner isn't going to leave me hanging. Plus, with girls it's totally different; there's got to be some quid pro quo there because a lot of times if I'm eating a girl out, I'm not going to get off before she does no matter how long she takes, so there's definitely the expectation that I will get her attention in return once I'm done with her. Not that all lesbian sex is one girl's head between the other's legs at all, but if that's what's going down, she'll cum and we'll switch (assuming I'm not just getting her off with no expectations, which I do also do). But with a guy, if it's a random fuck and he cums quickly and then shows no interest in continuing to give me any pleasure, I'm probably not going to pursue the issue because fuck him.
Bonus: On average, when you masturbate how long does it take to reach orgasm?
a. Less than 3 minutes
b. 3 – 5 minutes
c. 5 – 10 minutes
d. more than 10 minutes
Are we talking from a cold start? And when does the clock start? Sex isn't just about genitals. But assuming that we're talking either from the moment I start playing with my own pussy or someone else either starts seriously paying attention to it with the intent to cause orgasm, I used to be able to say, pretty reliably, that unless it was terrible, 5-10 minutes was a safe bet. Sometimes way less than that, but 5-10 was my wheelhouse. Nowadays it takes me longer, obviously. And it doesn't have to be 5-10 minutes of continuous action either; if I have the right partner or the right vibe and they're going all out for the whole time, it was usually shorter.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
TMI Foodsday
Because I like food. From the archives:
1. If your sandwich is cut in half on the diagonal, creating two triangles do you bite the hypotenuse or the point?
Point, because if you bite the diagonal you get sandwich on your cheeks. And I don't bite the right-angle point either, because that causes the sandwich to collapse when it gets too thin in the middle. But really, who cuts a sandwich into triangles? I don't cut mine unless they come that way, and then I eat from the point across.
2. Dipping a tortilla chip– do you dip the tip or the side of the chip to scoop the dip?
If the dip is super-spicy, maybe I might dip, but usually I shovel. I like salsa.
3. Do you think you drink too much coffee? How much do you drink daily? What is a “cup” of coffee to you–how many ounces/grams?
I rarely drink coffee. I used to, when I was younger and doing school plus at the theater all night. But now, I reserve it for occasions when I really need it, so it still sort of works, because caffeine stopped working for me a while back. Not because I overindulged at all; I had given it up because I wanted it to work better when I needed it, and for a few years it was fine, but then it just didn't have the kick it used to. But that's true of all stimulants I'm afraid. As well as depressants. I can take a handful of sleeping pills and be wide awake (not that I do that, but you get my hyperbole).
4. Do you take cream in your tea? How many sugars?
Cream is wonderful in tea. But I don't keep it around the house, and I drink tea so rarely. If I'm really treating myself, cream in tea is grand.
As far as sugar, I try very hard not to drink too much sugar because it's meaningless calories that go straight to my belly and thighs and a gal doesn't need that shit. But I love me some extremely sweet iced tea because I'm fairly Southern that way. In hot tea, it's got to be sweet enough to not be bitter, but that varies from tea to tea. I do like a spoon or two.
5. How do you eat a burrito?
a. Pick it up with your hands, bite into an end.
b. Cut it in half, then pick up one half and eat it.
c. Eat it with a fork and knife
d. Open the tortilla, eat the food inside and eat the tortilla last.
e. Other
The burrito is nature's perfect food, developed by Incan scientists to be its own wrapper and delivery mechanism. Okay, maybe not, but seriously, unless it's bigger than my mouth, why would I cut it? It's designed to contain the fillings as I eat it, and cutting it just spills filling everywhere.
Unless, of course, it's a burrito smothered in something, in which case I eat it with a fork (I rarely use knives because growing up we had two knives which actually cut anything and five people who needed them, so I adapted and pretty much use a fork for everything but the toughest meat, unless someone offers me a steak knife or something). Because it would just get messy.
People who deconstruct their food by picking it apart miss the whole wonder of the food: that it has been prepared together so you can eat it together and get all the goodness of all the ingredients together in one bite. That's why we don't just eat each individual ingredient separately-cooked. You wouldn't suck the cheese off the macaroni, would you? Okay, you would. You shine on, you crazy cheese-sucking star you.
6. Pizza…How do you eat a slice?
a. Pick it up and eat it as an open slice.
b. Pick it up and fold it together, then bite into it.
c. Leave it on the plate and eat with a fork and knife.
e. I eat the crust first, then the rest of the slice.
Is it stable? Because some slices hold their own weight, in which case I eat them from the tip until there's just enough to fold over the crust, then I fold and eat from the end (or just eat from the end if the crust is thin and I can get a bit of topping along with). Unless the crust is incredible, in which case I might just eat stem to stern.
If the slice isn't stable and will just droop, I'll do a little origami.
And if it's deep dish, all bets are off and it depends on how messy it is and how neat I'm feeling.
…Why do you eat your pizza like that?
Practicality. I want to eat the crust, but I want a little topping to go with it most times, so I fold over that last bit of topping so I can have topping on the whole thing. If it can't be held up, I'm not going to let it droop into my mouth and get grease all over me and look like a moron, so I fold a bit to make it possible to eat it rationally. And if it's deep dish, I'm not usually a pig so I don't eat what is basically a baked pasta dish with my hands.
Bonus:
What is the weirdest thing that you are into?
I'm going to assume this means weird food because if I don't, we'll be here a while and you can just catch up on my other weirdness in other posts. Also, I hate superlatives.
I like spicy things on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I put Montreal Spicy Steak Seasoning on PB&J, or just cracked pepper. I put sriracha on peanut butter when I have no jelly because it's both sweet and spicy. But I really like cracked pepper and sweetness. I spent a long time trying to figure out how to infuse honey with the taste of cracked pepper, but was never able to figure it out. But fresh pepper and honey... yummy.
Bonus, bonus:
Do you care if your different foods, on a plate, touch each other? Yes!?! What’s that all about?
As I said above, part of the joy of cooking is mixing flavors. I don't always just mush everything on my plate into a pate and then eat scoops of it, but I do like to mingle flavors on the plate. If there's meat and veg and starch, I'll take a bit of each with each bite.
I might not mix everything, but I don't care much if the vast majority of things touch. I wouldn't put sushi and cheese on the same plate, though, if we're going to get picayune. And some condiments go with some things, and others with others. And I don't like cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving. Give me hot sauce or chutney any day. I do care about flavor combos, but not in the, "Eliminate them all," sense.
1. If your sandwich is cut in half on the diagonal, creating two triangles do you bite the hypotenuse or the point?
Point, because if you bite the diagonal you get sandwich on your cheeks. And I don't bite the right-angle point either, because that causes the sandwich to collapse when it gets too thin in the middle. But really, who cuts a sandwich into triangles? I don't cut mine unless they come that way, and then I eat from the point across.
2. Dipping a tortilla chip– do you dip the tip or the side of the chip to scoop the dip?
If the dip is super-spicy, maybe I might dip, but usually I shovel. I like salsa.
3. Do you think you drink too much coffee? How much do you drink daily? What is a “cup” of coffee to you–how many ounces/grams?
I rarely drink coffee. I used to, when I was younger and doing school plus at the theater all night. But now, I reserve it for occasions when I really need it, so it still sort of works, because caffeine stopped working for me a while back. Not because I overindulged at all; I had given it up because I wanted it to work better when I needed it, and for a few years it was fine, but then it just didn't have the kick it used to. But that's true of all stimulants I'm afraid. As well as depressants. I can take a handful of sleeping pills and be wide awake (not that I do that, but you get my hyperbole).
4. Do you take cream in your tea? How many sugars?
Cream is wonderful in tea. But I don't keep it around the house, and I drink tea so rarely. If I'm really treating myself, cream in tea is grand.
As far as sugar, I try very hard not to drink too much sugar because it's meaningless calories that go straight to my belly and thighs and a gal doesn't need that shit. But I love me some extremely sweet iced tea because I'm fairly Southern that way. In hot tea, it's got to be sweet enough to not be bitter, but that varies from tea to tea. I do like a spoon or two.
5. How do you eat a burrito?
a. Pick it up with your hands, bite into an end.
b. Cut it in half, then pick up one half and eat it.
c. Eat it with a fork and knife
d. Open the tortilla, eat the food inside and eat the tortilla last.
e. Other
The burrito is nature's perfect food, developed by Incan scientists to be its own wrapper and delivery mechanism. Okay, maybe not, but seriously, unless it's bigger than my mouth, why would I cut it? It's designed to contain the fillings as I eat it, and cutting it just spills filling everywhere.
Unless, of course, it's a burrito smothered in something, in which case I eat it with a fork (I rarely use knives because growing up we had two knives which actually cut anything and five people who needed them, so I adapted and pretty much use a fork for everything but the toughest meat, unless someone offers me a steak knife or something). Because it would just get messy.
People who deconstruct their food by picking it apart miss the whole wonder of the food: that it has been prepared together so you can eat it together and get all the goodness of all the ingredients together in one bite. That's why we don't just eat each individual ingredient separately-cooked. You wouldn't suck the cheese off the macaroni, would you? Okay, you would. You shine on, you crazy cheese-sucking star you.
6. Pizza…How do you eat a slice?
a. Pick it up and eat it as an open slice.
b. Pick it up and fold it together, then bite into it.
c. Leave it on the plate and eat with a fork and knife.
e. I eat the crust first, then the rest of the slice.
Is it stable? Because some slices hold their own weight, in which case I eat them from the tip until there's just enough to fold over the crust, then I fold and eat from the end (or just eat from the end if the crust is thin and I can get a bit of topping along with). Unless the crust is incredible, in which case I might just eat stem to stern.
If the slice isn't stable and will just droop, I'll do a little origami.
And if it's deep dish, all bets are off and it depends on how messy it is and how neat I'm feeling.
…Why do you eat your pizza like that?
Practicality. I want to eat the crust, but I want a little topping to go with it most times, so I fold over that last bit of topping so I can have topping on the whole thing. If it can't be held up, I'm not going to let it droop into my mouth and get grease all over me and look like a moron, so I fold a bit to make it possible to eat it rationally. And if it's deep dish, I'm not usually a pig so I don't eat what is basically a baked pasta dish with my hands.
Bonus:
What is the weirdest thing that you are into?
I'm going to assume this means weird food because if I don't, we'll be here a while and you can just catch up on my other weirdness in other posts. Also, I hate superlatives.
I like spicy things on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I put Montreal Spicy Steak Seasoning on PB&J, or just cracked pepper. I put sriracha on peanut butter when I have no jelly because it's both sweet and spicy. But I really like cracked pepper and sweetness. I spent a long time trying to figure out how to infuse honey with the taste of cracked pepper, but was never able to figure it out. But fresh pepper and honey... yummy.
Bonus, bonus:
Do you care if your different foods, on a plate, touch each other? Yes!?! What’s that all about?
As I said above, part of the joy of cooking is mixing flavors. I don't always just mush everything on my plate into a pate and then eat scoops of it, but I do like to mingle flavors on the plate. If there's meat and veg and starch, I'll take a bit of each with each bite.
I might not mix everything, but I don't care much if the vast majority of things touch. I wouldn't put sushi and cheese on the same plate, though, if we're going to get picayune. And some condiments go with some things, and others with others. And I don't like cranberry sauce at Thanksgiving. Give me hot sauce or chutney any day. I do care about flavor combos, but not in the, "Eliminate them all," sense.
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