Unicorn

I am happy to be a unicorn for a couple. I've made my position on threesomes clear enough on this blog: I cheerfully participate whenever possible. That said, I don't go looking for couples to make happy, and much of the time that's what winds up happening.

Ages ago, back before COVID and my extended hiatus, you may recall that the Mrs. America pageant came to my place of employment. If not, go read about it now.

I think I made my feelings about beauty pageants pretty clear in that post, but the short version is that I think they're degrading, but I get why some people do them. I also made my feelings on the subject of Mrs. America pretty clear, but the short version is that I think it's a way for fading beauty queens to try to hold on to their youth and a way for husbands to make their wives participate in a meat market. I'm happy to say that that's not always the case, but I don't care for it.

All that preamble out of the way, the Mrs. America pageant once more graced our shores and I wasn't really looking forward to it. It had been a bunch of years since the last one and I don't miss it at all when it's gone, plus my friends of the last time were probably no longer involved. I was proven right in this supposition.

The pageant was just as horrible as last time. I didn't really even have a clear favorite. Whoever she would have been, she wouldn't have won because the women who won were the plastic ones. Stupid. Very stupid.

The organizer of this pageant is a woman who is definitely a fading beauty queen. Let's call her Fantasy, not because that's her name but because her name is similarly stripper. I remembered her from last time. Only this time she was much more friendly for whatever reason.

It started when I was getting tables out for them. She was so thankful. And so impressed with my strength because I could lift a table. I get it lady, you think I'm not womanly. You don't need to rub it in. But she was oohing and aahing over me like I was the world's strongest woman. 

Then she was all compliments for the rest of the rehearsal process too. Not about my strength, either. She wanted to know why I wasn't doing the pageant, and I resisted telling her the real reason. "But you're gorgeous," she said.

"If I don't work the pageant, it won't get done," I pointed out. "Plus I'm not really a Mrs."

"But you're wearing a ring."

Indeed I was, and do. I screwed my courage to the sticking place and prepared to be denounced as a harlot, then explained the situation, as far as it needed to be explained.

When she found out I was married to a woman, I thought she would get judgmental, or maybe not care. She looked... I don't know. It wasn't what I expected. Maybe a combination of eager and disappointed. I figured it was indigestion.

But she didn't stop talking to me or get judgmental. In fact, she was very nice about it. Said, "Oh, you count as a Mrs. You should enter next year."

And then she started hitting on me. Like, I don't know how else to describe it.

So I figured, the old girl is horny and hubby isn't satisfying her needs. She started not-so-delicately asking whether I was totally unwilling to go outside the bounds of marriage. Stuff like, "A cute thing like you, your wife must have to keep a close eye on you."

Now understand, this woman is old enough to be my mother. Maybe not as old as my actual mother, but definitely not my type. Plastic fantastic, to go with her name. But despite all that she's got a tight little body. Not gonna lie, it was definitely a butterface type situation, at least with her clothes on, and she didn't seem to be wearing any shapewear or anything. Big tits, possibly fake but possibly not.

And I was feeling... charitable. So I was entertaining thoughts. It helped pass the time. Helped put me in a mood to enjoy ogling the contestants a little bit. Yes, there weren't any of them who really caught my eye, but they weren't hard to look at.

After the show, she was all over me again, compliments, questions, just basically all over me. And her direction turned subtly from figuring out that I wasn't in a closed marriage. I made no real secret of it. She didn't seem surprised. I don't know, a lot of people think that all queer people are DTF at the drop of a hat.

But her direction turned to asking me whether I was interested in joining her and her husband for drinks afterward. And it clicked. She thinks I'm her unicorn. This isn't about her being hot for me. This is about her recruiting me for her husband.

Which soured the equation for me a lot. It made me feel kind of tawdry. And I almost turned off of her and the idea completely.

Except she insisted that I meet her husband. And her husband, let's call him Stone, was not the type to be telling his wife to do anything. Meek. Very meek. Agreed to everything his wife said.

They say curiosity killed the cat but I really wanted to know what was up. So I took them up on their offer of drinks. At their place. I was expecting there to be an after-party, but no, everyone went home after the pageant. I closed up shop and drove to meet my destiny.

They had a mansion in the burbs. Very nouveau riche, very gray. Stone tossed back a large amount of scotch. I stuck to nursing my girly drink despite Fantasy attempting to ply me with more. She had white wine.

Finally, I guess Stone got his courage up and asked, "So Fantasy, does she?" 

"Well I haven't really asked her yet," said Fantasy, and I enjoyed seeing her squirm a little. Honestly, what was getting me through was feeling sorry for Stone. He wasn't terrible to look at, for an older guy. And he was clearly henpecked, but at the same time he had been eye-banging me all evening.

I didn't enjoy the tension, so I decided to end it. "If you're wondering whether I'd like to have a threesome with you, the answer is yes."

Fantasy laughed. I think it was the first genuine thing I'd seen her do. "Oh sweetie, you cut right to it," she said. "You've got a cute body and a dirty mind. I like that." She downed the rest of her drink. "Ground rules. No kissing. I won't go down on you, but I'll finger you if you like. You can do whatever you feel like to me. Stone watches. Once I get off, he's free to do whatever you two want as long as you two feel up for it."

You might think that I'd have a problem with this. The thing is, it was so matter-of-fact. It wasn't fake like her demeanor had been. And I respect people who know what they want. "I can live with that," I said. Because of the butterface situation, I wasn't going to miss kissing Fantasy. She looked like it would be like kissing a blow-up doll.

We adjourned to the bedroom, where we all undressed rather perfunctorily. I hadn't been expecting any sort of fun, though I guess in future I should plan ahead, so I was wearing basic black at usual at work. Fantasy was wearing rather sensible undergarments, flesh colored. Stone was wearing boxer briefs, gray. I was pleased to see that Fantasy hadn't been hiding anything. In fact, her body looked even tighter in underwear. Her skin was kind of sun-weathered but she wasn't saggy or anything.

She took off her bra first, and tits which were too perky for her age spilled out. She's had work done, I'd bet the farm on it. Then she pulled down her panties and lay back on the bed.

I know some people would be freaked out in this situation. I have seen my mother naked more often than not, and I've seen my parents fucking, sometimes each other, so I felt slightly... nostalgic maybe? I've never eaten my mother out though, but fortunately Fantasy looked nothing like my mother, so that didn't bother me either.

I took my undies off because why not, then settled in between her legs to do what I had promised. She smelled like baby powder, which is actually a smell I like in a woman. Better than most perfumes. And when I got close enough to examine it, her vulva was actually quite appealing. Little tan-colored lips, a cute little clit just hiding under her hood, and a pink opening beneath.

I should stop here for a moment to say that I don't judge books by their covers or anything. I've had great sex with women who have had large pussies and small, of many colors, with lips and clits of every size, and none of those things have to do with age. I don't know, I was just expecting Fantasy to have a different pussy. That's all. I should learn not to expect the carpet to match the drapes nor the floor to match the windows, I guess.

Fantasy was very vocal about what she wanted. Which I should have expected, but which also made me both happy that I didn't have to guess but then annoyed that she seemed to be treating me like a sex toy with voice control. At least she didn't have much taste. Just mild pussy.

I started kissing her inner thighs, but after a few moments she claimed to be ready, so I moved to kissing her labia, then when she instructed, I began licking them. She liked long slow licks over her whole pussy for a while, though she continually adjusted the timing and strength until she was happy with it. "Okay, now put a finger in me," she said, so I slipped my middle finger into her cunt. She shivered, and I felt her muscles tense a little. "Not so fast," she said like she was instructing a child.

I felt rather than saw Stone put his hand on my ass. It spooked me and I exhaled sharply. I hadn't been expecting it. I thought he was supposed to watch. But my twitch and breath was a happy accident because Fantasy loved it. "Oh god, do it again," she moaned, sounding like she was losing herself in the moment for the first time.

Who was I to argue? I curled my finger sharply into the front of her vaginal passage and flicked her clit with the tip of my tongue. Correct choice. She gasped and arched her back.

Stone,unseen behind me, was caressing my left ass cheek. It felt nice, not imposing, now that I was expecting it. I curled and flicked again, and his wife moaned loudly, and he clutched the cheek.

"Oh god, come up here and suck my boob! I'm gonna go off!" Okay okay, jeez lady. I licked my way up her body, the skin smooth against my tongue, and fastened my lips around her left nipple. Oddly, Stone's hand stayed on my ass, in fact slipping fingers into the cleft between the cheeks, grazing my asshole.

Then I curled my finger, hard, as fast as I could while sucking her nipple so hard I probably broke capillaries, and she practically screamed and came, hard. I felt the spasm in her breast and on my finger.

Well, job well done Lexi, I guess. I've had worse experiences. She was fairly easy to get off and didn't expect more. After she came down, she gently stopped me. So no repeat was necessary either.

Now to Stone. I looked up from his wife and he was standing next to the bed naked. Not in great shape but not bad for his age. Graying hair, graying pubes which he must groom. His cock was hard and wasn't disappointing.

Then I got the shock of my life when he said, "Ok bitch, suck it hard," and practically pulled my head into his cock.

Huh. For such a meek man with his wife, I hadn't been expecting that. It threw me off a little. His cock was down my throat before I had time to think, and I gagged on it a little. Tasted a bit of bile when he let me come up for air.

"Yes baby, treat her like the dirty whore she is," moaned Fantasy from behind me.

I found my head pulled down on his cock again, but this time I managed to keep from gagging. Instinct took over and I let him pull me down until his pubes were tickling my nose. "Oh fuck yeah," he said, holding me there until I almost grayed out for a second.

A few more of those, with commentary from both, and I guess he was ready. "Now take it, bitch," He growled forcefully, pulling me to my hands and knees on the floor. There was a pause as he got behind me and pulled on a condom. In other circumstances, I might have told him to forget about it, but I was still reeling.

But goddamn if it wasn't making me wet. When he mounted me forcefully, I almost came right away. His cock filled me in a way I've been missing lately, not having regular injections of Vitamin D.

And then he was fucking me, hard and fast, his hands on my throat, in my face, pulling my hair. And I was cumming, over and over again. He grunted at a certain point and I felt him press deep and hold it for a few seconds, but my pussy was so battered that I didn't feel him cum. He stayed hard though. Little blie pill maybe. I don't know enough about it to know whether he had anticipated this.

He was degrading me with his words, he and his wife both were, and doing it very well because I was letting it happen and feeling pretty good about it. At some point we wound up on the bed, him beneath me, pulling my hips back and forth on him, his wife lying beside him holding my hand. He pulled me to the bed beside him, almost throwing me off the bed, and then moved to position, ripped off the condom and then spurted several weak jets of cum onto my chest.

I had barely registered that by the time he had on another condom and had my on my face on the bed, fucking me from behind again, just as hard as before. He slapped my ass and it barely made it through the haze of orgasm. He was driving me into the mattress with each thrust.

After a while I guess the pace tired him out finally and he pulled me up again to reverse cowgirl on his lap. I was about out of orgasms. I lost count of how many. His cock was thrusting directly into the front of my cunt in the best way, and it was still hard as a rock. It took what felt like forever for him to get off the third time, and when he finally got close he said, "Now finish me off with your throat, whore."

He basically fucked my head for a minute or so, then tensed and relaxed a few times, but whatever spunk there was I didn't get a chance to taste. It went right into my stomach.

Then he basically tossed me aside like a condom, went to his wife, kissed her warmly, then grabbed a robe and left the room.

I lay there next to Fantasy until she got up and grabbed a robe too. "Here, honey, cover yourself up," she said not unkindly, and tossed another robe onto me. I managed to rouse myself enough to put it on, under her appraising eye, then followed her into the living room again. She offered me a glass of wine, which I accepted shakily. Stone was already there, sitting with a full glass of brown liquor and a cigar.

"Really Stone, do you have to stink up the place?" Fantasy asked, with a tone of voice that suggested she was back in the saddle again.

"Sorry dear." He quickly stubbed it out. "But that was..."

"You're incredible," Fantasy said to me, sounding like she meant it.

I didn't feel incredible. The afterglow had kind of worn off and now I was feeling the fatigue of an hour of hard fucking. But I accepted the compliment.

We sat in the living room drinking our drinks. They complimented me more. They talked about how they had found a few other women through the pageant. "But nothing like this," Fantasy said. "Honey, you're a trooper."

The compliments started to work on me, I won't lie. When they said I should totally do pageants, I didn't immediately say no, I just said I would think about it. Stone's robe fell open at a certain point and he was still hard, and by god I felt like sucking it a little, so I asked if that was okay. Fantasy was shocked but eager, Stone was shocked but willing. I wanted them to see that I could be more than just a sex toy.

This time I took charge a little and clearly Stone couldn't figure out how to get back in the Dom headspace because he let me. And then I knew how to put the icing on the cake. Plus I'm not going to lie, my pussy felt a little worn out.

"Do you want to fuck my ass?" I asked him winningly.

Fantasy was shocked into silence. Stone looked at me like he couldn't believe it, but strammered something affirmative. So I stood up, dropped my robe, pulled his a little more open, and then lowered my ass onto his spit-slick cock.

His hands moved instinctively to pull my hips down until he was buried in my colon, then I rocked slowly for a few moments. His legs spread and my butt squirmed down another fraction of an inch.

Then I began slowly bouncing, just an inch up and down. I wanted to keep feeling his entire length in my ass but I knew he needed a bit more stimulation. He started pressing up as I bounced down, and I felt the tickle of one last O eluding me until I reached down and stroked myself into it, short and soft.

Then it was all about him. I was really feeling the fatigue, so I suggested that he take over a bit more. I wound up on my hands and knees again, with him fucking me from behind, but gentle, like the bedroom had been a different person. I looked over and Fantasy was watching every move, her eyes hungry. But she didn't make any move other than to watch.

Finally he came. I didn't feel it and I don't know that he enjoyed it as much as he could have, but it happened. He pulled out of my asshole after a moment of tension and I rolled over and then crawled to the sofa and drank the rest of my wine.

No compliments. Just awed silence. I enjoyed that too. It helped me feel a bit of agency in the situation.

Fantasy offered me another drink, but I declined. I went into the bedroom and put my clothes back on. They made no move to stop me.

Then, after some goodbyes where both of them, despite their rules, kissed me, I was on my way to the door when Fantasy said, "Oh shoot," and ran to her purse. She pulled out a roll of bills and went over to me. "I meant to give this to you at the theater, but I got distracted." And she handed me a twenty.

"Just one?" Stone asked.

She looked chagrined and added a second to the first.

Now, I remember the last time the pageant was here. I got tipped then too. Ten bucks. So while I'm sure I had been destined to get some kind of tip, I'm pretty sure the sexual performance had added to the total.

Am I okay with that? I don't know. I guess I'd rather be tipped than paid for sex. Plus it wasn't enough. If I'd actually been charging, that would have been insulting. I've thought about it and I don't regret the experience. I do regret the fact that they'll be back next year and probably want more, but then again who knows?

It did make me feel a little bit like the help. Hell, for all I know they've fucked the help. Probably not though. Not like that. And that's where I'm sitting, in the top spot. Fuck yeah.

In the end, I made them happier than they made me, but I had plenty of orgasms. I guess the lesson is that sometimes the power dynamic is skewed.

Panties

Sexy notes wrote a follow-up question to the last post: "One thing that surprises me about your picnic encounters... what were you doing wearing panties???"

Well, I actually wear panties a lot of the time when I wear a skirt or dress. Believe it or not, I am pretty demure when it comes to being outside the house in mixed company. I don't always, and sometimes I'm feeling a bit naughty, but I'd say the majority of the time I'm wearing a skirt or dress, I'm wearing panties.

There are non-sexy reasons for that: I don't know where most things I sit on have been, so an extra layer of cloth between me and them is something I enjoy. Plus there's the fact that, while many people might enjoy being flashed glimpses of my nethers, others do not, and I'd rather be safe around the possibility of the latter.

There's also the fact that I think I look good in panties. I think most women do, at least if they're wearing panties that flatter them. Hell, there are plenty of men who look good in underwear of various kinds, and girls look sexy wearing boxer shorts, and so forth. 

And there's the fact that there's something extremely sexy to me about getting fucked with your panties pulled to one side. Panties are a kink of mine, I think.

There's also the practical matter that, if I get excited or creamed (ideally both) I like to have a layer of fabric to keep me from making a mess of my chair. That's just logistics.

And lastly, a lot of times when up-skirt action takes place, I wasn't expecting it to. I default to wearing panties when I'm not expecting a reason to want to divest myself of them, and I definitely default to wearing them when wearing skirts or dresses that are short, which my Fuck Me Dress is.

All of those factors conspired to put me in panties on the day of the picnic I was talking about. Well, most of them. I had a pretty good idea that I was going to get fucked that day but I didn't know he'd be up for shenanigans out in the open.

I don't remember his name. It was college and there are plenty of college boys whose names I don't remember. It was a yearly picnic that the college threw, to celebrate the onset of warmer weather. There'd be some music and entertainment throughout the day, and we were invited to spend it on picnic blankets. They'd even serve the cafeteria food outside. And there was booze aplenty

He was actually Gwen's boyfriend (Gwen, for those who don't remember, was my college roommate). That didn't mean a whole lot, but it did mean that I wasn't really expecting him to be totally receptive to advances. But I knew he could use his cock and I liked the look of him.

Gwen was off doing something at the time. He and I knew each other from other things as well, so it wasn't weird for me to sit with him on a blanket. And wouldn't you know it, I can't sit in the sun because I don't tan, I cancer, so the shade of a tree away from the major population centers was fine for both of us.

Now, had I been totally shameless, I would, as Sexy Notes suggests, not have worn panties. That would indeed have been an invitation to him, particularly had I guided his hand up my thigh or something. But while I was working on him, I didn't expect him to go for it until a bit more work was put in. Maybe once he loosened up and had a few drinks. No, I was not going to date rape this young man, but he wasn't exactly the loosest of people and I figured I could use a little help. Don't do as I do, kids. Respect boundaries.

But as it turned out, there was no reason to worry about respecting boundaries. I played a little coy and teased him a bit, but I'm pretty sure I was the only one who'd had a drink by the time things escalated. I was drinking tequila straight from the bottle. This was not allowed by the powers that be, but no one cared.

I don't recall exactly what gave rise to escalation (probably due to the tequila) but he asked me point blank whether I was coming on to my roommate's boyfriend, and I bashfully admitted that I thought he was cute. And I expected him to either shut me down or to say, ok, let's go someplace more comfortable. But instead he put his hand on my thigh and looked me right in the eyes and it became a case of who was seducing whom. I completely understood why Gwen was taken with him.

He basically invited me to sit between his legs while he put his arms around me from behind. My ass was up against his crotch, and I could feel his erection through his pants. I put my arms around his arms and covered for him moving his hands to my breasts and massaging them very nicely thank you. I was getting plenty aroused and he seemed to be too, but when I suggested that I sit in his lap, I wasn't sure how he'd respond. Not everyone is up for PDA, let alone basically dry-humping.

But he let me flip my skirt up so it was just his pants and my panties between us, and then he went back to kneading my tits and I just started rocking my butt against his cock. He got harder, which was nice because it showed that I was in for a treat.

And I probably could have suggested that we adjourn to my room, but for two reasons. One, neither of us really wanted Gwen to walk in on us. Him because I'm pretty sure he thought he was cheating on her, and me because I felt slightly guilty that I hadn't cleared it with her first. Also selfishness. There was every likelihood that she would have opened the door, seen us going at it, and said, "Jeez why didn't you wait for me," and joined in, and for whatever reason I didn't really want to share. I think I was getting off on the illicitness of it.

Two, it was so nice outside. The music was playing, the sun was shining, the air was a perfect temperature, and we were having a fine time right there. Going in would have meant packing shit up and going in.

So when I leaned back against him and whispered, 'Put it in me, please baby," I don't really blame him for going for it. The panties which were the start of this reminiscence were no impediment at all. His pants fly was a bit tougher, because it just wasn't in the right position, but unbuttoning and spreading them open fixed that, and then he pulled down the waistband of whatever underwear he was wearing, I forget, and his hard dick was sticking up under my skirt. I held my panties aside for a moment and we negotiated an entrance.

Looking back on it, anal probably would have been easier, but I didn't want that and he didn't ask for it. It thrust him up into the front of my pussy nicely, and it didn't take much movement on my part to make me cum. And Gwen is a doll, wonderful in the sack, but she doesn't cum like I do. He had his hands wrapped around my waist and he rocked his hips up and down a little. On close examination, we weren't fooling anyone, but no one was giving us close examination.

Plus there's the fact that one time at one of these picnics some girl gave a guy a drunken blowjob right in the middle of everything and no one cared, so us having quiet nookie on the outskirts wasn't going to raise any eyebrows. And no, that girl was not me.

I came, he enjoyed that, he nuzzled my neck, his hands massaged my hips, and we rocked gently for what seemed like hours but which was probably actually five minutes. Then he made me cum again, which made him cum. He slipped out of me, we adjusted our clothes as best as we could, and I lay back against his chest and we waited for dinner.

Then later, when things had quieted down considerably and the light had faded, he asked me if he could fuck me again, to which I replied yes please, and we found a secluded corner where no one could see and he pulled down my panties, up my skirt, and slid his rock hard rod into me. He lasted longer that time, through two orgasms on my part, before he pulled out and had me take it in the mouth. I would happily have taken another creampie but whatever.

After that, we agreed not to bother Gwen with the details. They dated for another month or so and then broke up. I admitted to fucking him after they broke up, mostly because she wanted sister solidarity and I lied a little and told her that he wasn't that good. I never fucked him again, which was fine with me because I had plenty of fish in the sea, and it wouldn't have been fair to Gwen to bring him around. He was cute though. I wonder what ever happened to him? 

And lastly, to those asking for photos, I'll see if I can track down a picture of me wearing my Fuck Me Dress, but no promises. And anyway, isn't the mental image you have better than any lousy photo could be?

Dressing and Undressing

I've always been partial to a good sundress, as I believe I've said in the past on here. I think they flatter me, and they're reasonable attire without being either too formal to wear most places or too slutty to wear most places. I mean, the sundress is a large enough category that that's not true for all things called sundresses, but you get my point.

Of late, however, I haven't been able to wear many of the sundresses I own because, not to put too fine a point on it, I don't feel comfortable in them. They don't flatter, or they're just not fitting right.

But I hesitate to get rid of them because part of me thinks, foolishly, that I'll still be able to wear them at some point. I need to find the source of this thought and kill it with fire because life is too short to hold on to foolish dreams, but it does bring me memories.

Part of why I like sundresses is because of a particular sundress, a yellow and white floral number that I call my Fuck Me Dress. It's not the only Fuck Me article of clothing I own, but this dress used to make me look hawt. And what was hotter, was that it was great to fuck in.

It's just long enough to be demure (on someone with a shorter frame it'd be positively saintly) while still being only a few inches away from seeing my panties. If I twirl in it, it rises provocatively, but still maintains an innocent air. It blouses a little in the chest which makes it look like I've got bigger boobs than I do, and it flatters my midsection.

But that's not why. It's just hard enough to get out of that it makes it more convenient to simply flip up the skirt, and the spaghetti straps are sized just right for pulling down the top. Many's the time I put it on for some other reason and Mike, or even Dad, ambushed me and pumped me full of seed before I could even use it to full effect on my intended target.

The skirt is just right for someone to rest a hand on my ass, and yeah, back in the day my ass looked hawt in that dress. It looked hot in plenty of things, to be perfectly honest. But a hand on my butt didn't disturb the way the fabric lay, and better still, because of its cunning construction, if the back of the skirt was flipped up the front still preserved it's modesty. 

I remember taking advantage of that one time at a picnic. I sat on my chosen target's lap on our blanket and slowly, achingly rubbed my ass on. His hardon until he finally couldn't take it and we managed to negotiate his cock out of his pants and my panties to one side and then he was inside me and it was a good thing we weren't close to the center of the crowd.

But even better, being fetched up against a tree, or a wall, dress pushed up, panties pulled down, and being properly fucked standing up, his hands down my top and holding my tits... Yeah, this was a great dress for that too.

And it rewarded the patient by coming off on many occasions as well. Or basically being cinched around my waist and forgotten in the heat of the moment. That dress has seen more fucking than most of my other clothes put together, I imagine.

And it no longer fits. It's a little threadbare anyway. I should probably get rid of it. Times change, and these days I wear pants to work and I don't have anywhere near as many guys clamoring to hike up my skirts a little. If I had a daughter, I would give it to her, as a good luck charm. As it is, it lives in my closet as a reminder.

Just So I'm Not A Liar

This probably should have been just the end of the last post, but I got tired.

So the next day was the final show with Kari. Which made me a little sad, as I said. We were pretty quiet during the run of the show, and I wondered if maybe she was feeling a little down about it too.

The curtain call came, I hit the last cue, and there she was standing next to me. "I figure we've got maybe five minutes while everything clears out before they expect me to start working," she said in an urgent tone. "I can cum in five. Wanna make me?" 

Which is hardly the worst pickup line in the history of pickup lines. Honestly, "I can cum in five minutes. Wanna make me?" is a good line if you're female-presenting. Masc folks, sorry, it's not the draw for you. Anyway.

I like a challenge, so I pulled down her pants and panties in a rush, then put my head between her legs and went to work. I was secretly incredibly turned on by the idea that someone would come into the booth looking for one or both of us, but at the same time terrified by that same idea.

I may have gone a bit heavy on her clit, but I got the O out of her in short order. Then she pulled me up, gave me a big kiss, pulled up her pants, and we left it at that. Didn't really say goodbye. She went and did her job, I went and did mine. She did cast me a glance which could have meant a number of things when it was time for her to leave, but we were formal.

I went home and told Sveta and Zoe I needed both of them to work me over a little, which they did in suitably adoring fashion. Not that I didn't give as good as I got. At a certain point Sveta was eating me out while Zoe sat on my face so hard I was having trouble breathing, and I'm pretty sure Zoe was fingering Sveta simultaneously.

Afterward I told them why I needed it so bad, and they were suitably sympathetic. Zoe thought Kari had been a bit rude. Sveta refused judgment.

And then Kari emailed me the next day and told me she'd slept with another cast member. I couldn't help feeling a little jealous, not that I've got anything to be jealous about. More jealous for the freedom of the road. Not that I want that. Like I said, I'm too old for touring.

And then I got over it and wrote her back congratulating her and hoping she has a good remainder of her tour. They're reasonably local so there's a pretty good chance I'll see her again. Honestly, now that the immediacy and novelty is gone, I still miss her a little, just because it was nice to be able to talk shop while snuggling.

Anyway, hope you all enjoyed the semi-regular in updates. I'm in a fairly busy time at work right now but who knows what'll happen?

Continuing to Miss Kari

Yeah, she's been gone for more than a week now and I'm just getting around to the final part of the story. Sorry. I do have other things I have to do to make ends meet.

Anyway, enough of that. The last part of the story is really not the last part, it's the penultimate part, because... You'll see. I hope.

The day after her first go with a strap-on, Kari showed up raring to go. She reeled me into an embrace the second we were alone in the booth, got her hands on my ass, worked her thigh between mine and rubbed hard. "That's for breaking me," she murmured into my ear, then kissed me, fierce and slightly possessive.

"If you don't stop I'm going to get in trouble," I finally forced myself to say. Not because I was in any danger of getting in trouble for kissing her in the booth if anyone found out, but because if she kept it up I was going to rip her clothes off right there.

"I just wanted you to know what you did to me last night," she said, pulling away and grinning. "When I say you broke me..."

"What did I do?" 

"I know I said I couldn't cum anymore, but that was a total lie. But you made it so just fingering myself didn't cut it. I tried and failed to get off several times. Just made it worse. I am so fucking horny right now."

"I don't think we have time before the show..."

"No, we don't. But after, you're coming back to my room and you're going to give me what I need or else."

I swear, I'm not tooting my own horn here. "Why didn't you get someone else to, you know..."

"I could have but I owed you," Kari said with a smile. "Besides, I'm going to see them all tour. You I only get today."

Which made us both sad because it was true. They were leaving tomorrow and thus, the tryst would end. Such is life, I guess. She seemed okay with it. I was a little more sad because she was leaving, which makes sense.

The show dragged on, and at one point I looked over at Kari in the booth and saw her with her hand absently rubbing the seam of her jeans between her legs. Not like she was jerking off on company time, just like she was scratching an itch. She's far too professional to be distracted. And I'm not one to judge. I felt a little guilty for being the source of any distraction she might be experiencing.

Finally the show finished and we had our various things to do, then she drove me over to the hotel. On the ride I was cheeky and tweaked her nipple through her clothes, and she sighed and let it happen.

We made it through the door without incident, then by mutual and silent consent both ripped our clothes off. Then we collapsed into the bed and started writhing against each other, making out like two newlyweds, breasts pressed together, lips locked, my hands cupping her ass, hers wrapped around my back. I worked my way to her ear, and she started moaning as I nibbled the lobe.

"I'm going to really break you this time," I growled into her ear.

"Yes, yes," she said.

"How do you feel about me playing with your ass a little?" Because consent is important, and also because she'd given no indication whether that was a no-go zone or not.

"I'm kind of a virgin," she giggled. "I've never really done anything like that except with fingers.  But I like it when you rub it."

So I took advantage of my longer arms and got my finger between her cheeks and teased her rosebud a little. "You want me to do anything else?" I breathed into her ear.

"Like what?"

"You want me to give you a little taste of what it's like?" 

"Uh huh," she gasped.

I pulled away from her and flipped her over, then kissed and licked my way down her back. I like lower backs sometimes too, and I enjoyed hers, giving her little nips when she didn't stop me the first time. I should probably have asked, but she enjoyed it so I continued.

I continued to her cheeks. I'm not "an ass man" but she has a great ass, nicely proportioned, pert, bubbly even. She gasped when I nibbled, and I thought maybe I had gone too far, but then she lifted her hips a little and moaned, "Oh god yes," so when in Rome, right?

My fingers were busy too, getting between her thighs and slipping into her quivering cunt, which made her orgasm almost immediately, though I could tell it was just a little one, just a preliminary. It's been ages since I've been with someone this orgasmic, which I really will miss.

Then, because I walk the walk, I helped her to her knees, my fingers still inside her. It just made her butt more attractive. And now I could see the rosebud. And yeah, I'm not super into this kind of thing, but I'll rim a virgin ass to help out the cause, so with my fingers inside her pussy I suckled get tailbone for a moment, then dove into the deep end.

Fortunately she is very hygienic, so she didn't taste musky or worse at all. Just that perfume flavor again, which I didn't mind so much at this point. The texture of her anus was taut rubber, if I can describe it at all. Lightly ribbed. Warm and smooth.

She was moaning loudly now, encouragement and nonsense mostly. I pressed my tongue into her anal ring and tasted the first musk, but nothing I can't handle. She trembled.

Then I pulled back and, after getting reassurance that this was okay, pressed my pussy-juice-slick finger slowly into her asshole. Not very deep, up to the first knuckle, but giving her a little taste, like I promised.

Fortunately I brought lube so when she was begging for more I could get it, then lube her up properly. My finger went back into her rear entrance more easily this time, and I worked it in slowly until it was deep inside her. "Oh wow, " she moaned.

"Now roll over and let me get you off with a finger in your ass, girl," I said with a grin.

Which I proceeded to do quite nicely thank you. Feeling the tension and release on my finger in her ass was great. She came for a good long while too, then lay back, spent.

"Did I break you this time?"

"Fuck. I don't know what I'm gonna do without someone to do that to me every day."

"Well, I know a place near here where you can buy lube and plugs, if that's of interest..."

"But you haven't gotten any..."

"You have anything else planned for this afternoon?"

Thus it was that Lexi and Kari went to the local toy shop and picked out a beginner plug. And some lube. And she insisted on buying me one too.

Then we went back to her hotel and she wanted to play with me using my new plug, so I lay back and let her. I think after orgasm three she got the hang of it, really. That's weird to say, but the first two Os were mostly on me, whereas three and four were definitely her using the plug and her lips and fingers.

And then I helped her insert her plug, pulled out the trusty strap-on, and fucked her cunt until I couldn't anymore. I don't think she was cumming after a while. I think she was just moaning and lying there and taking it. What can I say? She wanted to be broken, so I broke her.

She almost didn't have the energy to drive me back to my car. She thanked me profusely. Then she said, "I'm going to have to let my husband fuck my ass now."

"Oh yeah?" 

"It only seems fair for him to get to be the first. But it's so far away. I want it now." She grinned and made an attempt to seem jokingly petulant, but I strongly suspect her resolve will be tested.

We talked about first times and I gave her a few pointers, but I think she'll be okay. She likes it. That's the important thing. She said she was definitely going to practice with her plug.

Yeah, gonna miss her.

I Will Miss Kari

After we got the preliminaries out of the way and knew where we both stood, Kari and I saw no reason to stop with just one meetup. The following day I brought a strap-on and wore some slightly more interesting undergarments, preparation which was vindicated by her saying, the second we were alone, "You up for another romp, maybe a little longer this time? I've got a hotel room with a comfy bed and..."

"I was hoping you'd say that, because I brought a toy with me," I said with a laugh. "Well, not the part about the hotel. That's just gravy."

"You're sure? I don't want to impose, but yesterday was a lot of fun and I figured if we had a bit more space we could try a few things."

"Honey, I was looking forward to it. I hoped you weren't going to get bored with just me."

See, even people who are up-front about sexuality still have hangups.

"Bored? After you had me cumming like that? What toy did you bring? I've got a trusty vibrator friend..."

"Oh, this is fun for both of us," I said, then pulled out the strap.

"Damn girl, that's what I'm talking about," said Kari appreciatively. "It's going to be all on you though because I've never worn one."

"There's a first time for everything," I almost purred.

Then we had to cut it short because she had to go do her job. But she did give me a very deep kiss before going, which I don't think anyone saw.

After the show, I was raring to go, and I think she was as well. Her hotel was close by the theater, so she drove me, batting my eager hands away from her fun bits. We made it through the door without devolving into PDA in extremis, but only just.

We kissed and stripped clothes off until we were in our undies. I was wearing a lacy set, pink because why not. She was wearing more conservative but still sexy mismatched panties in light yellow and bra in flesh tones. She lay back and let me take her bra off, which I have to say, guys, I'm with you, bras should be easier to take off from the front, but I managed it.

It took everything I had not to just go for the gusto, but instead I worked her up even more by suckling on her nipples, then moving down to her belly and kissing and stroking. She was breathing really deeply by the time I got to the waistband of her panties, and there was a darker patch spreading on the crotch.

"Oh my god I'm so ready," she moaned, writhing her hips up against my chin. I couldn't keep her in anguish any longer. I could smell wet pussy and it called to me. I just pulled the crotch of her panties to one side and slipped a finger into her, using my chin to hold her bucking pelvis down.

I felt her spasm on my finger almost immediately, but kept up the pressure, got another finger into her cunt and rode her for all I was worth. She wailed something unintelligible and kept cumming, then came again quickly afterward when I stripped her panties off and got my tongue against her juicy lips, lapping like a dog.

Finally she relaxed and lay there spent and I crawled up to join her on the bed, my knees carpet-marked from kneeling so long. "That was wonderful," she sighed happily. "But now I'm too tired to do anything to you in return." She grinned. "Kidding. But give me a minute to get my breath back."

"You'd better," I said teasingly, "because I expect a nice hard fuck for your first time with a strap-on."

Giggling turned to stroking turned to kissing, our bodies sweaty and trembling with exertion. Her skin against mine felt nice. When she wrapped a leg around me and pulled me closer, I slipped my hand down between us and teased her clit, not touching it but putting a finger to either side and stroking. Pretty soon my thigh was between her legs and her dripping cunt was running against my upper leg, but she gave as good as she got and my pussy was being stimulated to breaking point by her thigh.

I didn't want to cum like that though, so I pulled away and went to my bag, forgotten by the door in the heat of the moment. I pulled out the strap and despite her joking protests got her into it and situated.

There's a common misconception that strap-on sex is all about the receiver. I find a double dil to be more pleasant when giving, but I still find the pressure of the base of the dildo in a strap-on winds me up. And her clit was much more sensitive than mine. So she was feeling it when I started playing with the dil a little.

Then, I was showing off. I started giving head to her dildo. I deep-throated it with no trouble, and she oohed and aahed appropriately. Then I told her to lie back and I'd do a bit of the work, and mounted her.

A dildo isn't a cock, and that's okay. She felt it as a slowly eased my aching pussy down until our pelvises met and I rocked. That's usually better for sensation. Thrusts are less pressure on sensitive parts.

She reached up and grabbed nipples and tweaked, and her hips pressed up a little, and I ground out a little orgasm, our clits almost touching.

"You did all the work," she said, sounding slightly disappointed. "I want the full monty." So we rearranged ourselves into a doggy style position and she fucked me from behind.

Beginners don't always get it, but Kari was a natural. She was moaning and thrusting and I was moaning and taking it, and we passed several orgasms on each of our parts before she pulled out and reeled me into an embrace. "God damn, I'm going to have to get me one of these," she said, grinning and flushed.

We talked for a bit, then she wanted to learn from the master, so I swapped into the harness and fucked her until she begged me to stop. "I can't cum anymore," she gasped. "You've broken me."

So we took showers, separately unfortunately, and then dressed and she took me back to my car. There was promise of more the next day, but I'm going to have to break here and continue a bit later.

Unexpected Nooner

So this week at work we've got a touring theater company renting the space. It means I get to babysit, mostly, but I also get to hang out with actual theater people. Which is nice, mostly. It makes me feel like an underachiever, but it's still nice to be able to talk shop. I hate that the shows are in the morning, but in this case it was nice.

The company's stage manager is everything I like in a stage manager: she's well-organized, on top of things, and also attractive. Curvy in a white girl way. About my age, maybe a bit younger, still has energy but has also seen some shit. Long light brown hair that she pulls up onto a messy bun, cute face with an upturned nose. Let's call her Kari. 

Kari is also the type of person I like, because she's theater folk but also she's not shy about sex. Not putting herself out there, but not afraid of being a sexual being, in other words. The theater seems to attract that sort of person, or maybe it makes people into that sort of person because if you stick around long enough you've seen everyone naked.

I'm running the light board for this show, because they're using our board and they don't know it like I do. Their designer basically told me what he was looking for and I programmed it in, but sometimes things need to be tweaked. But it means I'm up in the booth with Kari and we have a fair amount of time to shoot the shit.

The best part about Kari is that she's married but is completely okay with the fact that she and her husband never see each other so they have an open marriage. That came up when she told me that she'd fucked one of the leads. I said, "Oh, aren't you married," and she laughed and told me that her husband was working another show and was probably fucking his way through that cast. I guess when you tour you get like that. I don't know, I've never had the stomach for touring.

She said to me, "Speaking of married, Frank is, or I'd have jumped him the first day." Frank is another of the actors.

"Oh yeah?" 

"Come on girl, you know you'd do him too. God, just looking makes me wet."

Now I should say that Frank isn't unattractive, but I wasn't salivating over him in particular. Honestly I was doing a bit of ogling at the young female lead. I admitted as much.

"Ooh girl, you're crazy. That young, they have no idea what they're doing."

"Yeah, but half the fun is teaching them." I'm not sure this is true, but hey, it was shooting the shit, I'm not obligated to be entirely truthful.

"Oh so it's like that is it? Tell you what. After the show, you can show me a thing or two if you're up for it. Frank's got my junk in knots and I could use a good session."

See, I like Kari. No awkwardness, no wasting time. "I didn't know you swung that way or I would have been lusting after you a bit harder," I said. "Not that I wasn't."

"Hell yeah, I swing all ways," she laughed. "But if you're after younger meat..." 

"I don't mind looking," I interjected quickly, "but girl, don't go telling me you're not hot."

That got her. She blushed red enough that I could see it even in the dim light of the booth, strammered something self-deprecating. I'm the queen of self-deprecation, so I admitted to myself that, had our positions been reversed, I would have probably felt the same way. I'm just glad I got the first compliment in.

I have slept with several stage managers in my day. I find them attractive. Kari was really no different, but she was more forthright about her desires on the subject, which made her even more attractive to me. Plus she was available and willing. So hell yes she was hot.

I grew somewhat damp in the panties after that. Kari recovered her self-composure and I wasn't cruel and didn't try to break her again. By mutual assent we didn't discuss future undertakings any more during the show, though she did regale me with several amusing stories about various sexual encounters with members of the cast, some of them from previous tours. That kept the mood pleasantly anticipatory.

After the show she had to clear everyone out, but as stage manager being the last to leave wasn't remarked upon. And anyway, had she told anyone she was sticking around to get some, they probably would have cheered her on.

So it was lunchtime and the theater was empty except for her and me. Yeah, that's the sort of lunch I like.

We sat down next to each other in the green room (which, for those unfamiliar, is basically the actors' lounge area outside the dressing rooms where there's some sofas and tables and they can hang out while not on stage). It was strangely awkward for a moment, like we'd suddenly lost our nerve. Then we both giggled at ourselves, then like the ice had been broken we kissed.

She kissed like she was: no nonsense, organized, thorough. Her tongue and mine nestled together in her mouth, her hands held my shoulders, and my hands pulled her closer to me. She's shorter than me which isn't odd, so I had to lean in a little, but it worked just fine. Then her hands slid down and started to raise my shirt.

I hadn't been expecting this, which seems to be the theme of a lot of my work encounters these days, so I wasn't wearing anything fancy, just my regular work attire of jeans and t-shirt. We broke the kiss and she pulled the shirt over my head, then went to work suckling my collar bone while her hands undid my bra. Then she moved to my tits.

"I hope I'm not going too fast," she said, before wrapping her lips around my right nipple and flicking it with her tongue. I sighed and didn't stop her. She did the same thing to my left nipple briefly, then pulled back and let me pull her own blouse off.

Kari has big breasts and they do sag a little when she's not wearing a bra, but it was okay. I still enjoyed suckling them, and she seemed to enjoy what I did to them. I kneaded them with a thumb and forefinger on each nipple, which were quite dark against her pale skin. They started hard but became more so, and when I bent my head to lick the underside of her breast she leaned back and signaled her approval.

We didn't stay long on tits and nips though. She was already sliding her shorts down, exposing cotton panties, light blue with flowers on them, sort of out of character for what I expected, but cute as hell. She has a little belly despite the curves, and I enjoyed nibbling it a bit before she shifted her weight a little and pulled her panties off too.

I said white girl curvy and I meant that, but she was proportional. Her large chest and wide hips didn't look out of place, and I found myself wishing I could see more of her ass even as I spread her legs and got a look at her cunt for the first time. Dark, swollen lips, very womanly and already wet. I didn't waste much time warming her up. 

Her clit was already swollen, but when I ventured near it she flinched a little without meaning to, so I took the hint and stayed on her lips for a while. They were sensitive too, but she pulled my head closer when I started nibbling them. And when I ran my tongue up over them from bottom to top, she gasped and came, or at least she said she did.

She tasted a bit like perfume, which I didn't love, but the stronger taste of pussy overpowered that. She made no move to stop me from continuing to lick her after she gasped that she was cummming, so I kept licking steadily from top to bottom over her swollen lips. Her hands were tangled in my hair and her hips were raised as if to give me better access. When I slipped a finger into her wet passage she moaned and tensed on it briefly.

All in all, she was fun to eat out. She came again shortly after, and she let me get another finger into her and curl up against the upper wall of her passage, and finally she got into that with my lips around her clit sucking softly until she was moaning continually, her legs on my shoulders. I was beginning to wonder if I was stuck for the duration when she seemed uninterested in stopping, but suddenly she lowered her hips, gently pushed my head away, and said, "Damn, that was nice. Now it's your turn." Like she was offering to pass the potatoes at dinner. It made me wish I could hang out with her more. Actually, it made me wish I could hang out with her and her husband. I bet sex with them would be great.

Her pussy-eating technique is straightforward, especially when I told her my clit was much less sensitive than hers. She got two fingers into me and fucked me with them while lapping at my clit, which was plenty good enough to get me off repeatedly.

"I've never been with a woman who was as ready to go as me," she said after she'd come up for air.

"My usual partners take a little more doing than you do too."

"Partners?"

So I explained about Sveta and Zoe. Not everything, of course, but basically how I'm in a polycule with my wife and girlfriend. "Oh, got it," she said. "That wouldn't work for me. I love my husband too much to share him with anyone."

And the thing is, I know exactly what she meant. She didn't mean sexually, obviously. It's something I've seen in plenty of people who are like me about sex. They don't want to share their partner with someone else in a deeper way, call it love or whatever. Sometimes that's unhealthy, but often enough it's perfectly normal.

We chatted, mostly her asking me questions about polyamory, which I mostly tried not to fuck up because I still don't think of myself that way. We got dressed, and we left thoroughly satisfied, or at least she seemed to be.

It was really nice to meet her, and I'm going to miss her when she goes. We exchanged information but both admitted we're lousy at keeping touch. Still, who knows? Maybe the company will come back on tour again.