Trying Something Really Weird

So this post is not about some new deviance. Sorry if that's what you were thinking it might be.

This post is about something I'm trying, have been for the past few days. I'm trying to... not have any sex.

Why? I don't know. It's sort of like a fast. I'm going without sex. No, I haven't converted to some crazy religion. Nor do I think it's a question of moral fiber. I'm just trying it out because occasionally I wonder about it. I wonder how people who aren't fucking all the time feel when they finally do. I wonder whether my obsession with sex might have crossed over into something which isn't healthy. I wonder whether I can have meaningful contact with people without it being sexual.

So yes, I'm going without sex. I'm going without masturbation. I'm trying hard not to think about it or even do anything related to it. Sheri thinks I'm weird. Mike says he's glad he's not there, because it would be impossible for me to keep to a pledge like that if he were. Mom and Dad say they think whatever I want is fine, although Mom is probably more enthusiastic about it than Dad.

In the two days and counting that I've been trying this, I've discovered that I'm incredibly horny, and that it's hard. Very hard. Maybe too hard. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep it up, frankly. Again, this is not moral, religious, or anything else. It's sort of like timing yourself while you hold your breath; I'm basically doing it to see how long I can go.

That's not to say that I haven't done anything remotely sexual. It's hard to avoid. I sometimes find myself idly stroking my pussy (even that word is driving me up the wall) without realizing it. But I haven't cum. Nor have I done anything with Dad. We've given each other kisses, but just normal kisses. And Sveta, now that James has gone to college (good riddance, for her sake) is sort of okay with just cuddling with me. We tried it yesterday, and while it was hard not to do something more than cuddle, after a few false starts, we settled into it. It was nice to hold someone, without any tension or expectations. It's something I don't do often enough. I think she liked it too.

I've found that I have a lot more free time. Really, I spent a lot of time with various sexual activities. Again, I'm not saying that it was wasted time, but it's giving me food for thought about maybe budgeting my time differently. Or maybe spending the same amount of time with sex, but appreciating it more.

Anyway, I'm not planning on becoming celibate forever. I'm just giving it a try. I haven't been without any form of sex since I was 6 or 7, seriously. I'm just doing it to see if I can.

Dad misses me, I can tell. He's supportive of some of my weirdness, but he still misses me. I've been trying to spend the same amount of time with him, just with other things. It's tough, since we're both naked and he's hard as a rock and my body just wants him. Mind over matter. I'll come out of this stronger.

I'm going to try to make it for a month and see, but that will probably be too long. Maybe I can make it a week. It's been a long time since I haven't cum at least once a day, so a week... hardcore.

Anyway, that's what I'm doing, and if I don't blog regularly, that's probably why. Or maybe because I'm getting busy again. I have some gigs, and maybe some more money coming in. If I can stand it, I'll try to keep blogging and telling stories, for the public's sake, but it might be too much. It's hard right now to keep from just squirming a little bit and giving myself some pleasure. But I'm trying.

Sheri Got Inked

Sheri got a new tattoo. She knows people who will do them in trade, and she's willing to trade sexual favors for minor surgery. She keeps wanting me to do it too, to come visit and get one done. I told her that she may trust people who are willing to give out free tattoos for sex, but I'm less trusting. Also, I'm not sure I want a tattoo.

She called and told me about it. Apparently, this guy likes anal, and he said that if she'd let him fuck her ass, he'd give her a freebie. I'm pretty sure Sheri would have let this guy take a shit on her face if he'd give her a freebie, so anal was nothing. She likes getting things free. It's not that she couldn't have paid for it; oh no, she has more than enough money, but she's willing to be a whore. I'm being unfair to Sheri; she's not really a whore, she just likes sex and is willing to do it in exchange for favors. I guess that makes her a whore, technically, but it's not like she's doing it for a living. Hell, we've all done things for favors, haven't we? Just because my sister views sex as a normal activity, like offering to pick up someone's dry-cleaning for them, she's branded a whore. By me. Whore. Just kidding, sis.

Anyway, she wanted to get a tat just above her pussy, if she was going to get it like this. So I guess it made sense, because he would have already seen everything, so why not let him ink her there? She told me she had toyed with the idea of getting a little sign that said, "Deposit Sample Here," with an arrow pointing down at her cunt, but finally decided against it. I told her she was an idiot for even thinking that. What the hell could you possibly be thinking to think that's a good idea? But then most tattoos are bad ideas. I met a guy once who had "Choke me while I stroke it" tattooed on his neck. That must have gone over well at job interviews.

Anyway, she decided to get a Chinese character, which she claims means "love" but which probably means "cement" or something equally nonsensical. But since it's tattooed over her pussy, it's just stupid no matter what it means. I asked her what she was thinking, and she said she just liked the look of it. I figure it was either some bullshit like that (not that I think Chinese is bullshit, but tattoos like that are) or permanently tattooing pubic hair, or, "I Heart Wanda." Only kidding about Wanda. I did ask why she didn't get Dad's name put there, as a reminder, and she said she hadn't even thought of it, but maybe she'd get it tattooed on the small of her back with an arrow pointing down to give him a hint. We both laughed at that. Bad taste, but still, we're both on the same wavelength in wishing that Dad wasn't such a prude (that's a funny thing to call him, isn't it) about anal.

I don't know why she didn't get Mike's name tattooed there, to commemorate their almost-baby. I didn't bring it up, though, because I don't want to rub salt in old wounds. She doesn't talk about it much, and I think she's more sad about it than she lets on. She really wanted a baby. Chances are good she'll never have one of her own. Which is fortunate, sort of, because with her lack of impulse control and history of making stupid decisions, she'd probably get her baby tattooed with "Sex Toy" or something equally insane. Not that I'm against her enjoying sex with any children she might have, but she'd be dumb about it and get caught, and then I'd never see her again. Of course, she can fall in the dark and find coal, so maybe she'd get away with it. Part of me is jealous that she always does.

Anyway, she said obviously she wanted to fuck first, because with a new tattoo on a sensitive area fucking second sounded painful. The guy's not an old fat biker or anything; he's young and attractive enough. She said he closed up the shop for lunch and they went into the back room. Gave him one of her stellar blowjobs to warm him up, then he bent her over the chair, pulled up her skirt (she wasn't wearing any panties to make things easier and also to minimize the contact with painful skin) and fingered her ass for five minutes, then started licking her. She said she was enjoying it, but he said he wished she'd been a little dirtier. Sounds a bit freaky to me, but then I'm not into scat, as I mention regularly.

She didn't care, of course, and when he stuck his cock in her cunt, she said all the preparation and the feeling of dirtiness (me, I would have run screaming from a tattoo parlor run by someone who was into being dirty) made her cum quite quickly after he started fucking her cunt and fingering her asshole. Once he felt she was loose enough, he hiked her skirt up a bit more and then pressed into her anus, hard. She wasn't quite expecting it so rough, she said, but she's a trooper and she can take it a lot rougher than most women I know. She likes it rough. So although she had to stifle a cry, after a few hard thrusts she was digging it completely.

They fucked for a shorter time than she would have liked, then he grunted that he wanted to cum in her ass, and she let him, of course. She said he came a lot, like he hadn't had any for weeks. It leaked out of her throughout getting tattooed. Now that sounds sexy, for some reason.

Anyway, once she cleaned him up, he got her ready, took her skirt off completely, and began tattooing her. She said she was still tingling from his cock in her ass, and although it was painful, it was actually arousing. She had to stop him at a certain point because she was afraid that if she came, she'd spoil the tattoo. He was okay with getting her to cum again, so he pinched her clit roughly until she went over the edge, and then they could get back to work. By the time he was finished, she was totally naked and instead of feeling like she wanted to never touch her cunt again (which is how I would expect to feel) she wanted more. The guy was happy to oblige.

First he used the vibration of one of the pens (or whatever they're called) to drive her over the edge again, and while she was still cumming, he pulled her butt off the chair and jammed his cock into her ass again. It was understandably hard after all this. He lasted longer, and he was a little more gentle, I guess because he knew she had to be in some pain. But although I don't enjoy missionary anal as much, she said that with the vibrations on her clit, the dull pain of the tattoo, and his cock in her ass going in and out, she came for five minutes straight. Then he came in her ass again, pulled out, and got them both a beer.

Again, my sister is being a dumbass. But the story sounds sexy. She said she's thinking of getting another one done, less explicit, and she wants suggestions. Of course, she won't be paying for it; if anything, she should get some credit for having let him fuck her ass twice in a row, once after she'd been tattooed in such an awkward area. I'm still waiting on photos, by the way.

I guess it's good that she got her rocks off then, because afterward it really started to hurt, and for the past day or so she's been in some pain. It's not infected, she assures me, but it makes cumming difficult, which must be hard for her. Another reason why I wouldn't get one there.

Hitting the Fan

Sorry I haven't posted in a few days. It took me some time to come to grips with my situation. I'm afraid the rest of Sveta's visit will have to be put on hold, possibly indefinitely. It was fun, toys were used, lots of orgasms, yadda yadda yadda.

On Monday, I finally went to Kate's house for dinner. And I'm still getting used to what happened, so you'll have to forgive me if it's a bit funky. I'll try to start from the beginning, but bear with me.

Anyway, she said her husband would be there but the boys would not, which was fine because that seemed like it would make the evening go more smoothly. It didn't start out too smoothly. I went over in the late afternoon, and Kate was just all over me, even with her husband there. I mean, she wasn't too obvious about it, but I could tell she was flirting with me, and I'm sure her husband could tell too. His name isn't Roger, but I'll use that because his name isn't exciting enough to warrant some exciting pseudonym.

He's older than her by a few years at least, and he looks normal for his age rather than looking young, like she does. So really, they look like they're probably more than a decade apart in age, when I think he just looks older and she looks younger. I know they got married when she was pretty young, and she is definitely younger than him. Anyway, he was polite, but kind of stand-offish, which could probably be explained by the fact that his wife was flirting with me and seemingly didn't care that he knew it. Of course, later on... I'm getting ahead of myself. He's not as much of a free spirit type as she is, but I know that they both smoke up together, because they offered, but I said I wanted to wait on that.

He must have had the day off, or he got home early, because they were both sort of lounging around when I got there. We had drinks and chatted, very uncomfortably on my end because I just didn't know what was up. I had told Kate that I wanted to meet her husband, but now that I had, I wasn't sure where to go. Should I tell him everything, which would possibly help my guilt but probably do more harm than good? Was I supposed to decide that he was a jerk, and that giving his wife some lovin' wasn't wrong? I don't know why I wanted to meet him, truth be told. It didn't make me feel any better.

Eventually we sat down to dinner, which was pretty good, just your standard fare but well-cooked. Eating gave me an excuse to not talk and to think, and Roger and Kate filled in the conversation. I started to get a little more relaxed, because sitting at the table it was hard for Kate to be all over me, but then she started playing footsie with me under the table and I got all anxious again. Anxious in both respects, because she was wearing this adorable skirt-blouse combo which was showing off her hot body tremendously, and I sort of wished her husband wasn't there because then I could at least have indulged one aspect of my anxiousness. And the other aspect would have been much less if he hadn't been there. I kept shooting her warning looks, and she kept grinning as if she didn't care.

I was set to call it a day and get the hell out before anything went wrong, maybe go home and try to work off my nerves on my own, but they insisted I stay for desert and coffee and more drinks. While I wasn't drunk at all, they were certainly getting looser.

And then Roger said to Kate, "Honey, you're driving her up the wall with your flirting. It's really not fair. To me either." And I knew he knew what was up. And I expected something awful to happen, but instead, she laughed and came over to him and kissed him.

"I'd feel much better if we just told her," she said. "I mean, it's been going on for long enough, and I think Lexi's feeling a little guilty."

"What's been going on?" I asked, mortified. Because I really am quite shy and awkward in social situations, and I was feeling like I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Because I could see it now; I was going to be outed, and Roger was going to forbid me to ever see his wife again, or something equally bad.

But instead, he just nodded, and Kate said, "Now please, don't get mad. But.. well..." And then, because I can't remember exactly what she said, I'll just fill in the blanks.

It seems that my suspicions were true, and there was something going on. Several somethings, in fact. For one thing, Kate had been acting bizarre when we made love because she knew that there was a camera filming us. Roger likes to watch, and they didn't think I would let him just watch from the room, plus I wasn't available at a time when he could, and they just wanted to be able to keep them and watch them over and over again. So they set up to film our rendezvous.

So Roger has known this whole time. They weren't going to tell me, but Kate felt bad, and I seemed like I wasn't going to come back, so now they were hoping that I would accept that they had a marriage that would allow this kind of fooling around and just keep making both of them happy.

I don't know how I feel about that. I certainly feel a little betrayed. It's not that I mind being filmed, or having people watch. It's that they were using me like this. I mean, if they'd just come out and asked me, chances are almost 100% that I would have gone along with it. I mean, Kate is a knock-out, and I loved fucking her. But they were using me. I don't feel totally okay with it.

On the other hand, I think they were expecting me to call the police or something, whereas I just said, "Oh," and took a healthy pull on my drink. They told me that they'd done things like this before, but always with men, and the men were one-time deals who came over, fucked Kate with the camera rolling, and then were gone. So Kate had never had any other women besides me. I was a little flattered by that. They said that they thought I would be more understanding.

I told them that I did, a little, but I also felt a little betrayed. And they said that it was perfectly natural, and they felt terrible about keeping it from me, and would I like to join them in the bedroom? It was just like that, with no real switch from, "sorry," to, "Hey, wanna fuck?"

And a part of me really wanted to. But a bigger part of me wasn't ready for that kind of thing right then. I don't know, maybe it's just my life right now, or maybe I'm feeling different about sex, or maybe it was just the abruptness, but I said that I didn't know if I could.

They tried to talk me into it. Roger said I had a beautiful body and he really was looking forward to seeing it in person. And they both came over and were sort of touching me, and it just got a little too much for me, and I stood up and said that no, I had to go. And they let me leave. I think they were both kicking themselves, or being disappointed that I hadn't turned out like they expected.

Again, it wasn't so much that I didn't want them, both of them. It was just too weird right then. So I left. Later that evening I was kicking myself, because I was all alone and horny as hell, and most of the betrayal had worn off and now I was wishing I was in bed with someone, anyone. It was the betrayal too, a different aspect of it. Dad never treats me like that. He's honest. So is Mike, and so are Mari and Sheri. James... the hell with him. Sveta I haven't known long enough, but if anything I'm using her as much as she's using me. I mean, I know I'm something of a surrogate for James to her, but I think she's starting to enjoy our times together for themselves, not for their substitution for other things.

So yes, I was needy and alone, and couldn't do anything about that. I almost called up James, even though he's a dick, because he's never done anything to hurt me, and I just wanted to be with someone. I was crying and depressed and horny. It was unpleasant. I finally called up Sheri, because I couldn't get hold of Mari, who is usually my go-to on the shoulder-to-cry-on-sister thing. But Sheri and I talked. At first, she was totally serious with me, and I appreciated that. But I think she thought I was making a big thing out of a little thing. I'm sure she would have gone to bed with both of them right away. Hell, she probably would have asked to go to bed with both of them before she even found out. So it was hard talking to her after a while, and I said goodbye. So I put in a movie and fell asleep in front of the TV, and tried to just curl up into a little ball.

Then in the morning, I was all cried out, sort of, and feeling a little better about the situation, and realizing that it was my life, not the situation in particular, which was making me act the way I was. So I called up Kate and told her that I was sorry for storming out like that. And she said that I had nothing to apologize for, and that she was glad I was still willing to talk to her. And I said that I was still feeling betrayed that she had lied to me, but on the other hand, I wished she'd just come out and told me what she wanted because I didn't have a problem with it. I said I would be happy to share her bed while her husband watched, or even, if he was willing, have him join in. But I needed some time to get over the lying, and she had to promise not to keep anything else from me.

So that's where we are, currently. I'm getting over it. She said that Roger was sorry for everything too, and that he wanted nothing more than to be honest with me, and that we had to get back together again soon, because I was the best she'd ever had. Really, the way that Kate and Roger are forward is... strange. If it wasn't for my current feelings, I would find their up-front-ness refreshing, even. But they aren't always up-front, obviously, which makes it strange when they are. They'll be apologizing one minute and propositioning me the next, without any sort of conversational interlude at all. It's almost like they don't understand they're doing it.

It reminds me a little bit of my family, except only within my family. When we're alone, just the family, and Mike wants to put his cock inside me, he sometimes doesn't even ask. Maybe they're like that too, they just haven't mastered not being that way with people who don't get it.

But I think I'll be able to forgive them, especially since they seem determined to be honest with me now, and they don't seem to notice that they're being strange sometimes. So maybe they didn't mean it. Who knows. It's hard to be sexually adventurous in this day and age, I know, so maybe they're having as hard a time with it as I am. Anyway, I'm still torn up about it, a little, but I think it was just the last straw. My life has been topsy-turvy recently, and I think it was just that coming out.

Fun Fun Fun

And Daddy has no intention of taking the T-Bird away. If that's not a dated reference, I don't know what is.

So yes, I'm up, and she's not, poor dear. Or rather, I'm a poor dear because I'm up at ridiculous hours alone. Right now my internal clock is set to a time which would allow me to view the Olympics live from China if they were being broadcast that way and I was at all interested in anything having to do with the Olympics. When Dad's home, that means that he and I can get some time before work. But Sveta is tuckered. Yes, that's right.

She's still asleep in my bed, naked as a jaybird, and I spent a certain amount of time this morning fighting the urge to wake her up. I should probably be asleep too, since I was up pretty much as late as she was, but I'll let her sleep. Hopefully she'll wake up soon and we can have a little breakfast, and then get something to eat (rimshot) before I have to go to work. But it was fun to watch her sleep.

She's warm, too. I was sweating a little, and not from exertion. But she's always cold, so I had to keep covers on her even though it was too hot for me. Still, sleeping holding her was a nice change of pace. It probably contributed to my ability to stay asleep, because as I've said, I find it hard to sleep with other people in the bed most times. But it was still nice. Reminded me of times when my sisters or my brother and I would sleep in the same bed when we were younger.

I'm not going to give a blow-by-blow. She came over, we both got naked and made out on the couch, which turned to me eating her out on the rug. She tastes so wonderful, sweet and salty and tangy and who knows what other flavors are in there. Some day we'll incorporate some flavorings into our lovemaking technique. I slurped down as much of her squirting as I could, although the rug was a mess (not that we care, in this family) afterwards. Then we got some drinks of the non-alcoholic variety, and then I gave her a lesson in the finer points of pleasing me. She's getting better. I think it probably has something to do with being more exploratory about her own body.

After I had a very satisfying O too, we snuggled on the couch and watched a movie and talked over it. She says she's getting over James. I think she's lying, but any step is a start. I told her she should try to find some other guy, and she blushed and said she wasn't really sure she could handle that. Then she turned to me and said that with me, she didn't need another guy. Flattery will get you everywhere. We started kissing again. The movie played on without us paying much attention. It wasn't hot and heavy, just some kissing and petting, slow and steady.

After the movie finished and we were both getting a little wound up, I asked her if she wanted to watch something more exciting. She knew what I was talking about right away, so I pulled down one of the pornos I'd gotten out and popped it in. It was from my personal collection, showing me and my roomie fucking. Sveta wanted to know who the other girl was, said she was really pretty too, and how could I be satisfied with her if I could have pretty girls like that. She was being coy, not serious, and I told her that she was just as beautiful, and much tastier. Plus I enjoy corrupting innocence. She laughed at that.

Yes, I do have home videos. No, I won't be showing them off. Don't ask. Really. If I ever get a good computer which can actually do it, maybe I'll consider it. But probably not, because I'm already worried about blogger shutting me down.

She wanted to try eating me out again after watching for a while, and I, selfish girl that I am, let her. Watching myself and being eaten out at the same time gave me a strong O, and I don't know whether Sveta had ever felt one that strong before because she seemed a bit worried and slowed down and sort of caused the climax to tail off a little. But I forgave her, and just told her that no matter what, she shouldn't stop unless I told her to. Sound advice. Hell, if you really know a girl, you can keep going even if she begs you to stop, because you know what she really wants. But that's advanced technique.

Then we had dinner. Sveta wanted to know if I had any other video of myself, and I said I did. Of course, a lot of them are with either Dad or Mike or my sisters, but I didn't mention that. Sveta said she would like to see some more of them. I told her maybe later. Then I asked if she wanted to try some toys. She was eager as a little beaver, which she is, isn't she (rimshot)?

Ooh, I hear her waking up. I'm going to cut this off right now because I want to go in and be with her. Maybe we can take a shower together. And then I've got to go. But I'll try to finish this up later.

Alone Again Naturally

My parents went off to the beach. I wasn't really invited, and I didn't really want to go anyway. Not that the beach is so bad, although see my previous post about beaches. But it's nice for them to get away for a while. And I've got some work to do. Anyway, here I am, all alone.

I'm not putting out an APB for stalkers or B and E artists, though. I've invited Sveta over today and probably she'll stay until tomorrow. Then I'm in negotiations with Kate about going to dinner at her house. And who knows what else might happen. I'm psyched about Sveta, because this time there won't be any danger of her bumping into my dad. And she needs some love, because James is a prick. Yes, I'm taking her side. Until I see otherwise, I'm going to call him a prick. He had me and a sweet little girl both to himself, and he had to get greedy. Plus now that we're pissed off at him, there's no chance of me getting any anal from him. Which is making my ass lonely.

I'm thinking of educating Sveta in the fine art of strap-ons, possibly some double dildo action too. Maybe she'll fuck my ass. What am I saying maybe for. I'll get her to fuck my ass. And I'll fuck hers. I'll be using the double dil, but she can start out trying out the strap-on. And yes, before you ask, I do have some liquor, but I'm not getting her drunk. I have a movie, I have some food, I have some liquor, I have toys, it'll be a wild time. Of course, because I'm ancient, I'll probably fall asleep at 9 pm. But maybe not. I'll just have to keep my excitement level high. I have more than one movie; I've got some porn too. We'll see how it goes.

No, I will not be posting as it happens. She doesn't know about the blog, and I'm not going to tell her. Maybe later, but not this early in the relationship. She could find out things I don't want her to know, for one thing. So if I post, it will be unscheduled.

But enough of what's going to happen. My parents left this morning, bright and early, which looked like it was killing my mom, who isn't a bright and early type these days. But it meant that, since I was up and Dad was up, we could have a farewell romp to tide me over until they get back. So we went to the shower, as usual, and I bent over the side and he got behind me and slowly eased his monster into my tight little daughter cunny. He was hard as a rock inside me, and every time he speared me, he nudged various sensitive spots inside, so I came quickly. There's nothing like an orgasm to wake up with.

That cleared the cobwebs, and I savored the warm feeling in my belly as my dad's cock thrust deep into me. I felt his stomach press into my rear as he bottomed out, and his hands on my waist, stroking down my hips and thighs.

After a while, it got uncomfortable to be leaning over the side, so I asked if we could switch. He pulled out, which was like an ice cube on my pubis, it was so cold in the air. So I turned on the shower, nice and warm, and got on my hands and knees with it splashing down on my butt, and he got behind me and stroked my pussy with his gentle hands, then took his cock and slid it into place again like it had never been gone. And the warmth and the pressure and just all of it made me cum again, a little O, just lighting up my eyes, tightening in my belly a little. I can feel them in my belly button sometimes; it's wild when it happens, and it usually makes me giggle. I giggled a little, and Dad laughed and said, "I got you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you wouldn't believe the reactions some guys have when I giggle like that."

"They don't know how beautiful it is," he said, and pressed into me again with his hands gripping my hips now. "I'm getting close just hearing you laugh, baby."

"I'll miss this over the next few days," I said truthfully. I already miss it. The thought of Mom and Dad down at the beach, probably making love on the shore, is making me wish I had come, because I could at least have watched. Maybe I could have found a guy on the beach to give me some. But I'm looking forward to Sveta too. Just sometimes I want a cock. A real cock, one that spews cum into me, that pulses, that tenses, that feels warm inside.

He wasn't lying, because after a few more minutes he grunted, "Here it comes," which he likes to do, most men like to do, even if he knows I can tell, and that he's going to cum in my pussy and not pull out. I don't know why a lot of men feel the need to announce their orgasms, but I don't mind. Mike doesn't tend to if he's going to cum inside me, either in my pussy or ass, but Dad usually does.

And then I came again as the first splashes surged into my insides. I confess, recently, I've been imagining that Dad is knocking me up, that I'm a little girl and my Daddy is getting me pregnant with his baby. It makes the orgasms stronger, I've found. I went over the edge hard, moaning and clenching. If I had been a squirter, I might have squirted. It's the tension, the desire, the missing him already, all of it.

He kept pulsing inside me for a while, then he felt that I was still cumming, so he worked himself back into thrusting. I could feel the cum sloshing around in my womb, or so I imagined. It must have been hard for him to keep fucking me, but he did it until I stopped cumming, then finally turned off the water with a grin and pulled out so I could clean him orally. There wasn't much to clean, because the water had done its work even before he pulled out, but it was enough to taste, and it tasted so good.

Then he showered, woke Mom up, and the got out of the house, as I said, bright and early. I wish Dad had been able to give me another helping before he left, but I accept that he's getting older and it's getting harder for him. He's never been prolific, just long-winded. I guess it's fortunate that he has three daughters and a wife all of whom can be his outlet (well, even Mari sometimes) because otherwise I think he'd wear us out and never get his own rocks off. I mean, back when he was still going three times a day sometimes, by the third time, he might have to start with one daughter and finish with another, or with Mom. I know I've had to wave him off eventually, just because I was getting too tired and sore to keep going.

Now, I get one, usually, but it's usually a good one, and a long one too. Sometimes two, or sometimes Mom gets one as well. So I'm not really complaining. I came three times. I just miss him. Sometimes we don't fuck, we just sit or lie together, him inside me, for a long time. It feels good to have Daddy inside me. That's all I can say.

Anyway, Sveta's coming over in the afternoon, so I'll see how that goes.

No Need To Hide It

One of the great things about living in my house with my family (only one, mind you, because there are many) is that you never have to sneak off and hide to masturbate. Another of the great things is that you don't have to masturbate that often anyway, given the circumstances, especially if you are some people. For instance, I don't think my dad ever jacks off, except maybe a bit as a warm-up. After all, sometimes you don't have hours to kill.

Yes, I guess it would seem like no one in my family would ever need to masturbate at all, what with hot and cold running sex in the house. But sometimes no one's around, or everyone's busy. And now, of course, there are fewer people in the house. If I could convince my mother to go bi, it would probably mean I wouldn't have to diddle myself as often, but as it is, I'm lucky to get once a day with the old man. Love ya Daddy.

But no, there's no particular stigma in our house to masturbation, which means we can do it anywhere, at any time. My parents have had a decent collection of porn since I was born, at least, and we keep that in their room, free for the taking. Before I was old enough to fuck, for instance, my parents would sometimes let me sit in their room and watch porn and play with myself, just for release. I think they were a little worried that I might end up doing like Sheri did. It wasn't the same at all; I would have gladly given up masturbation if I could have had a cock inside me. Sex and jacking off are two different forms of pleasure.

My brother masturbated frequently too, before he was old enough. In fact, I think it's possible that one of the ways that my parents knew he was ready was when he started actually ejaculating. It wasn't like they were keeping an eye on it, but once it started, it probably was a check on a list somewhere.

Since we were always naked around the house, any time the fancy struck, we could play with ourselves. I know that Mike and I both would watch movies and play with ourselves at parts. Obviously, after we both were old enough, masturbation lost some of its thrill because we could just get hot and bothered over a movie and fuck. But still, it wasn't uncommon, throughout my childhood and even past it, to walk into a room and find someone plucking the chicken, so to speak.

If it was Mike and I had some time, I'd probably go and join in. The same goes if he walked in on me. After all, sex is better than masturbation. But sometimes you're in a hurry, and you just walk in and there's Mike or Sheri or Mari, sitting at the table, nonchalantly feeling themselves up a bit.

And again, as I've said, it also wasn't uncommon during a certain period for Mike to jack off alone in his room and then come find me to finish him off. It saved on cum rags, for one thing. He wasn't always able to do that, so sometimes Mom would scold him for leaving his cleanup lying somewhere. I mean, you've got to be neat about it, right?

Me, I masturbate a lot. After all, I'm a sexaholic, pretty much, and if I don't get enough, I get needy. I'm stroking myself a little bit right now, waiting for Dad to get up so he can give it to me good and proper. I think I'm going to get a dildo or a vibe and stick it up there to give myself a good cum, wake me up a little, before Dad gets up.

Anyway, since I never had to hide my sexuality around my family, I didn't get some jokes that my friends made, and I might have said things which were a bit odd. As far as I know, no one ever picked up on the fact that I didn't know about having to sneak into the bathroom to jack off (not that girls really have to, but guys seem to find that the way to go). And I let some of my friends, when I was quite young, watch me touching myself. But that was kids stuff; all people go through an age of sexual exploration and being naked with friends and showing off their privates. At least, I think all people do. It's not just me.

And I'll confess, when I was a babysitter in my younger days, I would masturbate in other people's houses quite openly. Once I nearly was caught by the parents coming home. Fortunately I knew better then, and the first one through the door was the father, and he wanted in my skirt anyway so him seeing hints that I might have been jerking off was just fuel to the fire. I was actually caught by a kid I was babysitting, but he was too young to know anything about it, and I told him I was just scratching an itch. He saw my cunt, though. Probably warped him for life. Either that, or he became more liberated. I haven't seen him in years and years, so I don't know.

Anyway, that's why masturbation should just be out in the open. It's natural, it's fun, and it's a great method of birth control. Only kidding on the last one. And I think sex should be out in the open too. Imagine if you could just walk down the street and walk past people making love wherever the mood took them. Imagine if you could ask to join in. Now that's a sexy fantasy. There could be restaurants, coffee houses, and sex parlors, for when you wanted to go out on the town and have a good time in any way. I'm not talking about prostitution, I'm talking about taking your date to the sexeterium, getting a nice cushioned booth, and having the waiter bring you various exciting toys and snacks while you fucked.

Or a singles sex bar, where you could go and instead of being tawdry and bringing a stranger home with you (which is, after all, the aim of most people in a singles bar) you could just find someone nice, get a bed, and have sex right there. And you could somehow signal whether you were looking for additional partners. And if you wanted, you could just sit for a while and watch other people screw, and play with yourself a little. Out in the open.

And not to mention beaches, where instead of having to hide behind towels, you could just bring your date and make love on the beach with hundreds of other people, some of whom would be watching, some of whom would also be fucking. And if you wanted to join, you could ask politely. Or you could swap partners. Or any manner of things.

God, the idea is making me so jealous of the alternate reality where this is all true. Where humans admit that, when it comes to sex, we're still animals just like all the others. Do animals hide their sexuality? Well, probably some of them, but you can definitely go to the zoo and see monkeys mating. So why can't you walk down the street and see people mating next to dogs (who do it in the street too, you know)?

Creampies

I've said it before, I'll probably say it again, and I'm saying it now. There is nothing more feminine than having a guy cum inside you. Maybe that's not true for all women, but I feel most like a woman when a man's cock is spewing a load into my pussy. The deeper the better.

I imagine that I would feel even more feminine if I was actually able to be impregnated by the cum inside me, and probably having a baby would make me feel like a woman too. But of my experiences thus far in life, there's nothing that affirms my womanhood more than a creampie.

I'm not talking about a porn creampie either. I'm talking about a man sticking his cock as deep into me as possible, and firing his seed into my womanly spaces, and then staying there until it's all inside me. It's not that I don't enjoy a guy pulling out and just painting me white, but it's not the same thing.

Obviously, I enjoy bigger cocks for this. It's not that I always like bigger cocks, but the longer a cock is, the deeper he can get, and the deeper he gets, the deeper his cum goes, and the better I feel when it happens. Of course, he also has to cum fairly hard for me to really feel it. So deep and hard, as far as creampies are concerned.

That's not to say that I only want creampies, or only want long cocks, or strong cums (well, I usually prefer that last one). I've had guys who could satisfy me without putting their cock near my cunt. But if it's a creampie I'm looking for, those additional attributes are good too.

Which is why I enjoy my Dad so much. Let's face it, I usually get one cum with him, and that's after some work. But his cock is nice and long, and when he's all the way in I feel it in my tummy, not just in my nethers. And if he's been blueballing a little, and I get to him first, and he finally pushes as deep as he can and his cock pulses once or twice and then he finally tenses it and I feel the first splash, deep inside me, like he's actually cumming directly into my belly, that makes me feel like a natural woman, as the song goes.

I've never understood why Mom prefers to finish Dad in her mouth. It's not that he never creams her, but usually he pulls out and cums in her mouth. He's got terrific aim, very seldom makes a mess. Probably a lot of practice. When I was younger, he would always try to pull out and cum in my mouth or on my body, but eventually he just realized that I wanted his spunk inside me all the time, no ifs, ands, or buts. I know that I was the only one of his three daughters to get a creampie on her first time. I also know that Mari does enjoy the taste of cum sometimes, although she's not really interested in doing the work to get it, so she used to wait around for Dad to get close with someone and then ask if she could finish. She probably also liked to taste the pussy juices on Dad's cock.

I don't know, but I suspect, that even though Dad made it plain that he wasn't going to fuck Sheri early even though she'd been had, he probably let her suck him off sometimes. At that point, it was Mom or Sheri's mouth, and Mom doesn't always want to fuck. I don't understand it, but Dad seems to. I mean, I do understand it, because Mom's got issues from her youth, but I don't understand how anyone could turn down my Dad, especially if they knew how good he was. He must have cut quite a swath through the girls and women of his youth. Well, I know he did.

Anyway, Sheri's as much as admitted that she was sucking Dad off before he fucked her the first time, as well as a lot of other guys, I'm sure. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm the creampie junkie in the house. Sheri likes them, but she's just as happy with a mouthful, or even just some painting. Me, I wouldn't want to do bukkake, because I'd think it was a waste of cum. I'd want to have a creampie party instead. Hell, I've sort of had them. Not as many guys as they have in pornos, but with a few. Mike and Dad have taken turns cumming inside me, for that matter.

So yes, I probably have an impregnation fetish too. I definitely would have been pregnant when I was still in middle school if I hadn't been on the pill. The thought of that makes me happy I didn't screw up my life like that, but on the other hand, the dad would have been my Dad, or Mike, and the idea of that makes me tingly.

I've been writing these past few posts about this because Dad and I have been making time to cheer me up every day (and it doesn't do him any harm either). I've been keeping an ugly, sleep-in-type schedule, but even though I can't see him in the morning first thing, when he gets home, he takes some time, brings me upstairs to my bedroom, and fucks me silly. He told me he's got an assistant now, cute, younger than I am, who is flirting with him all the time, and while he's not going to lower the boom on her, or take her up on her flirtation, it does make him hot and bothered, which makes him ready to go when he gets home.

I told him that I'd come in one day during lunch and give him a nooner, so he wouldn't be popping up during the afternoon and giving himself away. He said I just wanted to see this cute young thing and see if I could get her myself. I told him that wasn't the plan, but if it happened, no problem. He laughed and said he'd like to have both of us together. I told him the only way that was going to happen was if I seduced her first. Then he pumped me full of cum, a huge load, it was coming out of my pussy around his cock. I felt three or four big surges, and a bunch of smaller ones. A lot of cum drained out of me, but when I was taking a piss later that evening, some more cum dripped out. It was in deep.

I think Mom would be fine with Dad sleeping with his hot assistant. It's not like they haven't had outside partners before. But I'd be jealous. If Dad were fucking some older woman, I wouldn't be as jealous, but the fact that she's younger than I am makes me jealous in a strange way. I guess maybe that's why I haven't done anything about the Sveta situation, because I don't want her to take my Daddy away from me.

Anyway, Dad's not likely to fuck this assistant, permission or no. It would be lawsuit-bait in the extreme. But I could fuck her without telling her who I was. And I could go in and fuck Dad too. It's fun to dream. Right now, I can't afford to be going to give my Dad office-nooky. Plus I'd have to get up, and my internal schedule is all fucked up right now. So I'll just wait for him to get home and give me what she's working him up for. She'll never know what she's missing. His cock in her tight little pussy, deep enough that it's like he's in her belly, firing jet after jet of hot spunk into her womanhood. Then she'd feel truly feminine, I think. I know I do.

Job-Hunting Sucks

Which is why I haven't been updating much at all recently. Not really much of any other reason. Sometimes I wish I could be a prostitute or a porn star, because then at least I'd get to have sex for money. But as I've already discussed, not for me.

James and Sveta haven't gotten any better, but nothing has blown up yet. I'm betting that it's because he can't actually find another girl. He wants one, but wanting and getting are two very different things.

I haven't seen Kate in an age and a day. We've talked a few times, and I know she still wants me to come over for quickies, but I've been strong. Well, mostly I've been unavailable for various reasons. But I don't want to do anything until I've met her husband. She thinks I'm holding out on her. I told her that I just wasn't comfortable with breaking up families. She said that wasn't a problem, but declined to prove her point somehow. I don't know how she could prove it, other than telling her husband about me, but I still want to at least meet him, so I can feel guilty toward a person rather than an institution.

Mari is incommunicado, which could mean any number of things. Maybe she and her steady went off and got hitched. Maybe she's just busy too. Who knows. I'm sure she's not in prison or out of the country; that's Sheri's bailiwick.

Sheri, on the other hand, has a much better job than I do, and is making decent money, and wants to quit. Sometimes she is unbearable. She's probably making the best money of anyone in the family, and she wants to quit. She has silly reasons which change almost hourly. I miss her, but at the same time I want to throttle her.

Mike will soon be making the most money of all, but he has to get through and also has to pay his dues. But his dues are worth paying, especially since he seems to genuinely enjoy aspects of his prospective job. Me, I can't stand finance, which is probably why I'm so poor. I'll mooch from Mike.

I really think that Mike and I should live together, go someplace that people don't know us and start a life and pretend. I could be his trophy girlfriend, he could be my breadwinner. I haven't mooted the idea with him as yet, because I don't know what he'd say. I don't know what my parents would say either. I mean, I'm not asking for exclusivity from him, any more than he'd ask for it from me. But if I can't live like that with Dad (and I wouldn't want to, because I love my parents and they should be together) I'd like to have a close, almost-married relationship with Mike instead.

Part of me is a bit scared of something like that too, being open about it I mean. I'd be afraid someone would find out, and then Mike and I would be in deep shit. We could never get married. We could pretend, I guess, but we could never actually do it. But lots of people aren't married these days, so that might not be so odd to people.

As long as I'm dreaming, I'd like to dream that not only could Mike and I be husband and wife, but I could have babies. Two, I think. One with Mike, of course, and one with my daddy. If I could talk him into going along with Mike and I being married, I could talk him into knocking me up too. I'd let Mike have the first one; we could start trying as soon as we got married, maybe a bit before. I'd go off the pill, and Mike would get to indulge his impregnation fetish, and fill me with gallons of his hot, thick cum, until it was leaking from my tits it was so far inside me. And then I'd be pregnant, and we'd keep fucking all the time as my belly grew full with his child. Maybe it would be a girl, and it would be like he was fucking her too, before she was born. Maybe it would be a boy, and that little boy would grow up to be a bisexual son for his bisexual dad. Mike would fuck his son, and get fucked by him.

And then, after I gave birth to Mike's child, Mom and Dad would be right there. And then after the happy family all came back home, Mom and Mike would go off to take care of the baby, and Dad would start working on baby number two. It would probably take a while, so Dad might have to stay and fuck me for weeks even, but I wouldn't leave Mike out; he could have my ass whenever he wanted. And then Dad's strong seed would plump me up again, and Mike and I would have two children. Since I'm dreaming, a boy and a girl, and they would grow up together, and probably discover sex together, and maybe one day we'd come into their room and they'd be making love for the first time, and we could sit down and give them tips. And pretty soon all four of us would be fucking nonstop.

Eh, it's a nice dream, not only for the sexual aspects, but also because it wouldn't require me to find a job. It's only a dream though; the chances are so slim of Mike and I even being able to live together as partners. Most likely we'd have to live together as brother and sister, roommates so to speak, to the outside world, and though we'd both be there for sex, we'd have to keep it as quiet as we do now. And I'd still have to get a job.

Sorry, I'm bitching about jobs now. I'll stop posting and go back to bitching on my own time.