Which is why I haven't been updating much at all recently. Not really much of any other reason. Sometimes I wish I could be a prostitute or a porn star, because then at least I'd get to have sex for money. But as I've already discussed, not for me.
James and Sveta haven't gotten any better, but nothing has blown up yet. I'm betting that it's because he can't actually find another girl. He wants one, but wanting and getting are two very different things.
I haven't seen Kate in an age and a day. We've talked a few times, and I know she still wants me to come over for quickies, but I've been strong. Well, mostly I've been unavailable for various reasons. But I don't want to do anything until I've met her husband. She thinks I'm holding out on her. I told her that I just wasn't comfortable with breaking up families. She said that wasn't a problem, but declined to prove her point somehow. I don't know how she could prove it, other than telling her husband about me, but I still want to at least meet him, so I can feel guilty toward a person rather than an institution.
Mari is incommunicado, which could mean any number of things. Maybe she and her steady went off and got hitched. Maybe she's just busy too. Who knows. I'm sure she's not in prison or out of the country; that's Sheri's bailiwick.
Sheri, on the other hand, has a much better job than I do, and is making decent money, and wants to quit. Sometimes she is unbearable. She's probably making the best money of anyone in the family, and she wants to quit. She has silly reasons which change almost hourly. I miss her, but at the same time I want to throttle her.
Mike will soon be making the most money of all, but he has to get through and also has to pay his dues. But his dues are worth paying, especially since he seems to genuinely enjoy aspects of his prospective job. Me, I can't stand finance, which is probably why I'm so poor. I'll mooch from Mike.
I really think that Mike and I should live together, go someplace that people don't know us and start a life and pretend. I could be his trophy girlfriend, he could be my breadwinner. I haven't mooted the idea with him as yet, because I don't know what he'd say. I don't know what my parents would say either. I mean, I'm not asking for exclusivity from him, any more than he'd ask for it from me. But if I can't live like that with Dad (and I wouldn't want to, because I love my parents and they should be together) I'd like to have a close, almost-married relationship with Mike instead.
Part of me is a bit scared of something like that too, being open about it I mean. I'd be afraid someone would find out, and then Mike and I would be in deep shit. We could never get married. We could pretend, I guess, but we could never actually do it. But lots of people aren't married these days, so that might not be so odd to people.
As long as I'm dreaming, I'd like to dream that not only could Mike and I be husband and wife, but I could have babies. Two, I think. One with Mike, of course, and one with my daddy. If I could talk him into going along with Mike and I being married, I could talk him into knocking me up too. I'd let Mike have the first one; we could start trying as soon as we got married, maybe a bit before. I'd go off the pill, and Mike would get to indulge his impregnation fetish, and fill me with gallons of his hot, thick cum, until it was leaking from my tits it was so far inside me. And then I'd be pregnant, and we'd keep fucking all the time as my belly grew full with his child. Maybe it would be a girl, and it would be like he was fucking her too, before she was born. Maybe it would be a boy, and that little boy would grow up to be a bisexual son for his bisexual dad. Mike would fuck his son, and get fucked by him.
And then, after I gave birth to Mike's child, Mom and Dad would be right there. And then after the happy family all came back home, Mom and Mike would go off to take care of the baby, and Dad would start working on baby number two. It would probably take a while, so Dad might have to stay and fuck me for weeks even, but I wouldn't leave Mike out; he could have my ass whenever he wanted. And then Dad's strong seed would plump me up again, and Mike and I would have two children. Since I'm dreaming, a boy and a girl, and they would grow up together, and probably discover sex together, and maybe one day we'd come into their room and they'd be making love for the first time, and we could sit down and give them tips. And pretty soon all four of us would be fucking nonstop.
Eh, it's a nice dream, not only for the sexual aspects, but also because it wouldn't require me to find a job. It's only a dream though; the chances are so slim of Mike and I even being able to live together as partners. Most likely we'd have to live together as brother and sister, roommates so to speak, to the outside world, and though we'd both be there for sex, we'd have to keep it as quiet as we do now. And I'd still have to get a job.
Sorry, I'm bitching about jobs now. I'll stop posting and go back to bitching on my own time.
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