Bonus X-Mas TMI

Because why not? This'll be fun, right?

No, it'll be the same as always, just with holiday-themed questions (with errors I have to correct because people are too lazy to copy-edit their own shit), but whatever, put up with it. I'm participating in a meme. It's my only meme, but I'm going to grab it and fuck it until it begs for mercy.

1. What present do you hope ends up under you tree?

Sveta's creamy pussy, to be licked clean. But I'll undoubtedly get that earlier than Christmas, so beyond the naughty stuff, I hope I get some Amazon credit so I can go shopping. Or I get some carte blanche to go and buy some things at my favorite used book store. I enjoy shopping for some things more than I enjoy actually getting them, so in both those cases, being told that I can shop for things is a present in itself.

But mostly a happy family moment. Yeah, I'll be a little sappy. I'd like Christmas to be happy and familial, even if I don't get anything else. I will, of course, but family happiness is enough.

2. What is the "naughtiest" thing you have ever done under a Christmas tree?

Under? As in, on the floor nearby, or do I physically have to be beneath the boughs of a Christmas tree? I have fucked in the general vicinity of Christmas trees pretty much every year I've been sexually active, either to try out a toy I got for Christmas or just because. But you can't do that too close, because you'll knock things over or get needles in your ass. Plus, being under a Christmas tree is tough.

3. Do you prefer to give or receive?

In terms of gifts, I do like giving gifts. If I had more money than I knew what to do with, I would give gifts all the time. I like giving. But I won't pretend to be a goddamn saint; I like getting gifts too.

In terms of sex, I definitely prefer to receive because I'm a selfish whore.

And in terms of football, I always want to receive, because the first possession is important, helps you build momentum or shut up the crowd if you're on the road. Ram the first kick-off back down the other team's throat and that'll take the wind right out of their sails. We will receive.

Oh, that wasn't the question at all, was it? Sorry. I never played football as a yoot, for semi-obvious reasons, but I do know more about it than any other sport.

4. What is your favorite part of a sexual partner's body?

The original question was, "... part off a sexual partner's body?" which is a little creepy. "I find the liver to be irresistible, Clarice." I don't know how to write the noise he makes at that point, but hopefully you get the hackneyed reference anyway. I've answered this question before. Short version: I like all sorts of different parts in all sorts of different people, but I do enjoy the abdomen in women.

5. What is your favorite part your body - the one you hope a sexual partner will find or pay the most attention to?

Been there, done that. In fact, my last TMI contains almost the identical question. More originality, TMI.

Bonus (as in optional): What Christmas wishes would you grant and to whom?

If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

Seriously, I lend my mojo to wishing for peace on earth, goodwill toward humankind. That's a non-denominational wish that only a total asshole would disagree with. In all seriousness, I say this, because while I have more specific wishes I could make which wouldn't be shallow, commercial, or selfish, they boil down to the above. I'm not going to get all deep and emotional here. Peace and love, baby.

Billy Dee Williams, you are the greatest, and if no one else gets that reference, I don't much care. Happy holidays, whatever they are! My blog is already red and green, so I'm decorated. Bam, that's forethought.