TMI

As always (well, not as always, but as usual), from TMI. Despite my ridicule of some of the sillier questions and the fact that sometimes it seems like they don't bother to spellcheck (or read what they've written), I'm happy it's around to waste a little of my time.

1. Have you ever broken something in someone's home unknown to them and never told them? If yes, explain.

Yes, I broke a glass in the sink once at a friend's house, never told them, cleaned it up, bought them some new glasses (I was there for an extended visit). It wasn't a huge deal or anything; I just didn't tell them because it didn't matter that much. I've broken things before, but usually not when people didn't know it was me.

2. What's one sexual guilty pleasure that you wouldn't openly tell your friends about? Why?

Depends on the friend. Some friends, I can't tell many sexual things to. Some, there are only a few things I haven't mentioned. I keep sexual secrets from practically everyone. It's just how my life works. But then, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to not talk about inappropriate topics. Sex is great, and I wish people were more open about it, but as I've said, it's like using the bathroom; I don't think anyone denies doing it, but you don't bring it up in polite conversation. Just my two cents there.

3. Take a peek over any celebrity's shoulder in the bathroom...who are they and what are they reading?

If I'm peeking over a celebrity's shoulder in the bathroom, it's not going to be to see what they're reading. This is a truly bizarre question anyway. I honestly don't have a response.

4. Roses are red, violets are blue...[finish this line with your own rhyme]

Roses are red, violets are blue, here are some violets, wanna fuck? All the best rhymes end the same way.

5. Do you believe in ghosts or other supernatural activity? Why or why not?

Sort of. I don't believe in Ghost Hunters at all. The supernatural isn't that mundane. I also don't know that I believe that when you die, you wind up as a ghost, trapped here and miserable. I'd like to think that, if there is an afterlife, people who were dead could peek in on the living from time to time, but I figure that, as you get "older" in the afterlife, you become less and less interested in doing that. I don't know. It's one of those things I'm not sure about. But I really hope it's not unpleasant.

Bonus (optional): How many times have you thought about sex in the last 24 hours? What triggered it? Who did it involve? Provide as much details as you like.

How many times? Jesus, we could be here all day. I wake up, I think about sex, I do things while thinking about sex, I fall asleep thinking about sex. Blah blah blah. Every day the same. I'm thinking about sex right now. When I finish typing this, I'll do something else while thinking about sex.

Okay, not really. I don't have a one-track mind. But I also don't really keep track of thinking about sex. I certainly don't count. I can think about more than one thing at once, and if I'm bored, I sometimes think about sex while I'm doing something boring. Plus I get horny at the drop of a hat. Sex is a part of my life. It's like asking how often I think about anything. I do a lot of thinking. It's pretty much the only thing I'm any good at.