Everyone knows I can't resist a series of silly questions, even if I've probably answered them before. And because I'm crazy, the answers may be more entertaining. Probably not. I'm basically only answering this series of questions (which I discovered via Sex Babble who linked to Lady Grinning Soul's actual recitation of the questions which she apparently stole from The Daisy Approach, and there I stopped tracing) so I can answer the last one because I have something funny to say.
Also, in an edit to the original, I should point out that the POS at the start of this post was me being forgetful and not me calling something a piece of shit. If I want to call something a piece of shit, I have no shyness about that. "Piece of shit post editor," she mumbles darkly.
1. Had sex in car older than a 1985 model?
You know, I'm not sure. I think so. But I could give a shit about cars, so I haven't exactly been taking down license plates and VIN numbers. I usually just take down panties.
2. Played strip poker and lost?
Of course. I'm not a terrible poker player, but I'm not that good either, and losing at strip poker is no big deal to me. I don't have any particularly sexy stories arising from this fact though, to the best of my recollection, which isn't all that good at the moment.
3. Name three celebrities you would like to bang the sh!tz out of.
What's "sh!tz?" I'll be fair and give three men, three women, and they'll all be pat answers because I'm not much of a star-fucker, so I don't think about it a lot. I'd fuck Karl Urban, Clive Owen, and Kevin Spacey (yes) on the men's side, and Emily Browning, Alyson Hannigan, and Keira Knightley (although only if she calmed down and ate a sandwich first) on the women's. All at once, if possible. Understand that these are purely off the top of my head, and mostly just about looks. Or a particular character. For instance, Keira Knightley in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie is eminently fuckable, but as a person, I'm not so sure.
4. Ever gone commando?
This question has been redacted to read "Are you now or have you ever been Lexi?" Why yes, Senator, yes I have.
5. Open relationship?
Similarly, a fairly easy question to answer. They don't always work, but if you can make them work, I think they're great, and not just because I'm a ho-bag. Openness, sexually, is healthy. And I believe that love can be given to more than one person too, although that's tougher to make work.
6. You have been naughty what is your punishment?
I'd rather not be punished. I should be rewarded for being naughty; it brings so many people pleasure.
7. Ticklish?
I've become less so in my dotage, but I'm still relatively ticklish, yes.
8. Spit or swallow?
This is an extremely popular question, and as I've already discussed a while back, I don't get why. Is spitting really that popular? I know that some people do it, and some people have perfectly legitimate reasons for doing it, but come on, it's already on your tongue; what's the harm in swallowing? You'll swallow some of it anyway; it can't be helped. If you mind the taste, don't get it in your mouth in the first place. I have perfect respect for people who don't take oral cumshots, but if you take one, just swallow it and get it over with if you want to be rid of it. Of course, some of us roll it around on our tongues because we're sick little monkeys.
9. Is rear entry an option?
Yeah, the parking is always better around the back. Plus only the cool people get let in the back way.
10. What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Poor Lady Grinning Soul didn't know what a Klondike bar was. That's either an indication of her non-United-States-ian upbringing or her sheltered life. Me, I wouldn't do much of anything I wouldn't do already for a Klondike bar because I don't like them. And I hate myself a little for being able to sing the jingle that goes with the question.
11. Truth or Dare? (Truth have you ever been with more than 1 person in one day? or show a tasteful picture of cleavage/boobs or guys a boxer shot)
I'd rather play Parcheesi.
12. BDSM?
Occasionally, not as a lifestyle choice but as a way to spice things up. But I'm not into pain, so none of the SM part, and I'm not really into anything beyond light bondage except in fantasy. I can be a bit submissive between the sheets (well, not between the sheets, but that's the polite term) but I wouldn't pretend to actually participate in anything which most people would qualify. So not really, I guess.
13. Does this picture make you horny or hungry?
Can't honestly say that it makes me either. I was a bit titillated by it, but then the chicken wings kind of weirded me out a bit. And I wouldn't want to eat it. I'm already hungry and horny, and this hasn't affected that state much.
14. You order a pizza...would you ever flash the delivery guy at the door?
Have I? Not to my recollection. Would I? In the right situation, I'd have no problem with it.
15. Are you horny?
This question has been redacted to "Are you now, or have you ever been..." Wait, I've done that joke before.
16. Leather or lace?
Lace. Leather is uncomfortable.
17. Silk ties or hand cuffs?
Like I said, I'm not much for bondage, so it'd have to be silk ties because I'm not using handcuffs. Besides, if you're going to be hardcore, I know a lot of knots and I have a ready supply of cable ties.
18. Thongs? Boy shorts? Grannie panties? Lace?
Bikini cut mostly. I have a few of the first two, and some lace stuff as well (although that's really a material, not a cut). I've never gone in for Granny panties mostly because I buy cheap-ass bikini bottoms in bulk for normal everyday wear. They're basically my Granny panties.
19. Eyes open or closed?
That question covers more ground than a beached whale and is about as fragrant. Depends, I guess.
20. Romance or kink?
Romance. I don't know that I'm really all that "kinky" in the traditional sense of the word. I like sex, and it doesn't have to be romantic, but it also doesn't have to involve trained squirrels and the New York Philharmonic.
And lastly 21. Would you rather take a bath in chocolate pudding or drive around the town naked in your car?
To quote the great Phil Hartman impersonating Frank Sinatra, "Next issue: Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner, who would you rather nail? I disqualify myself, because I've done them both."
Yeah.
I've never actually "bathed" in chocolate pudding per se, but I did once enter a wading pool full of the stuff for charity and the amusement of a crowd. This was in college, needless to say. I shudder to think of it now. Filling a bathtub with pudding and getting in, I'd probably do; it was an interesting experience. I wasn't naked; I was in a bathing costume of (for me) fairly conservative line, and no sexy hijinks were had. My ass was thoroughly handed to me by someone smaller than I am, and I retired from the field of pudding wrestling humiliated and sticky. It was a bitch to get out of my hair. Not as bad as Jello, but annoying, and I smelled like a rancid pudding pop for days.
And I've driven naked. It was dark, but I had no clothes, having lost them somewhere. It's a bigger deal for girls than guys, I'm sorry; a guy, unless you look hard, is just shirtless, and where I live, that's not a big deal. I was terrified that the police would pull me over. I'm not ashamed of nudity, but the consequences of it are often embarrassing. I'll strip down for anyone, as long as it won't get me in trouble or make me feel awkward and so forth. And lord knows I've been naked in cars, moving cars, often enough, just not usually while driving.
So... I guess I'd rather take a bath in pudding than drive around town naked. The pudding would be easy enough. The driving, I'd be nervous.
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