TMI Am Not Terribly Hardcore, Apparently

I'm eventually going to get bored with making plays on "TMI." I hope. Blame Advizor because I saw it there first. His answers are much better than mine.

1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?

No idea how to pick a lock. Well, actually, I have an idea of the theory of it, but if you gave me a set of professional lock picks and told me to go at it, I'd still be locked out next year. I'm not sure what I'd do with the skill if I had it; I'm not a super-spy or anything.

2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?

I know how to open a rotary combination lock... sometimes. I don't know how to open one without the combination, which is probably the question being asked here. Again, not a yegg (which means safe-cracker for those of you who aren't from the 1930s) so I'm not sure what I'd do with the skill if I had it. I don't move in circles with a lot of safes anyway. It would have been handy when I was in high school and wanted to get into my locker when I forgot the combination though.

3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?

I made a copy of a key once that I wasn't authorized to do, but it wasn't exactly illicit; I just was sick of borrowing the key. And my derived access wasn't unauthorized, per se. It was just that maybe I could have kept using the key after I was supposed to, and maybe I wasn't supposed to have a copy, although I was allowed to have the key. I didn't do anything interesting with it though. Yay boring me!

4. Have you ever stolen or guessed a password? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What did you do?

Why would you steal or guess a password to gain authorized access? I've never done anything interesting in this category either.

5. Do you know how to get data from a computer that requires a password you don’t know?

Why yes I do. It's surprisingly easy to get data off a hard drive if people don't bother to encrypt it. Most people don't. But I've never used this skill for evil; actually, I've used it for good a number of times when computers have crashed. Boring boring boring.

6. Do you know how to record a telephone call? Have you ever done so secretly? Did you hear anything interesting?

I know how, but I've never done it because I don't care.

7. Have you ever used a webcam or nanny cam to photograph someone secretly?

Nope, although I've been the object of this particular illicit activity.

8. Have you ever used an infrared camera to photograph someone secretly in the dark?

Yeah, I can afford an infrared camera.

9. Have you ever learned anything important by deliberate eavesdropping?

Yes. Nothing exciting though. Well, nothing exciting enough to blog about.

10. Do you know how to hot-wire a car?

No. I know dick about cars.

Bonus: Have you ever been paid for your sexual skills? What skill(s) did you perform?

Why yes I have. I won't say it was the high point of my life, actually.

Okay, really boring. Why did I bother to answer these questions? I was once caught after quite an extended period of shoplifting food from the school cafeteria, a thing I still feel guilty about, and I've been pulled over a few times for various infractions. But I'm essentially a law-abiding person.