TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

1. Name something you always carry with you?

I wear a Leatherman Wave pretty much at all times, and if I'm not wearing it it's close enough I can grab it at a moment's notice.  I've eaten with that thing.  I've never killed a bear with it to save my family, but I'd give it a shot if that were the situation.  I've never masturbated with it or included it in sexy play because you shouldn't play with tools.  I love it like a third hand.  I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose it or it finally breaks (that sound you hear echoing through space is me knocking on wood so hard my knuckles are bloody) because they don't make them any more.  They updated the Wave and now it's not as good.  Plus I love this one in particular.  But I guess I could search through eBay or something.  I wouldn't like it though.

I am not a collector of knives.  I own several, but they're either cherished family heirlooms or tools I've actively used or both.

And yes, I know about Gerbers, but I don't like them as much.  I've owned this Leatherman for more than a decade of heavy use and it's never crapped out on me, whereas most of the people I know who have Gerbers have experienced catastrophic failure at least once.  And yes, I know you can open and close a Gerber with one hand.  Guess what?  I can do that with my Leatherman too.  I'm just as quick if not quicker than a Gerber's slide-out mechanism and there are fewer moving parts to break.  I'm not judging; use whatever tool you like best.  I happen to like mine.

No, that wasn't sexy.  Yes, it was pretty niche.

2. Is there anyone on your mind at the moment? Who? Why?

As I write this, a long time ago in the past because I'm post-dating these like crazy so I've got some buffer built up, I'm thinking of a few people, all lasciviously.  It's late and I'm tired and jonesing for some carnality.

3. If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

I'd like to be remembered as a basically good person.  Failing that, as God-Emperor of Earth.  No middle ground there.

4. Tell us something new that you learned in the last month?

I've been looking into broadening my programming horizons, so I've learned a few new programming language things.  I won't bore you with details. I already wrote a screed about Leatherman Waves.

5. What are you pretending not to know? Why?

The sure grip of mortality?  I don't usually pretend not to know things.  It's usually the other way around, which is sad but inevitable, just like the sure grip of mortality.

6. Are you happy with other people’s perception of you?

I don't really know.  If I knew what they were, I'd be able to judge, but I'd probably also be horrified or mortified or both.  This is really the question, "Are you happy with what you think other people's perceptions of you are?"  In which case... sometimes?  Some people?  I'm usually pretty sure that whatever horrible things I'm thinking about myself are being thought by others as well, even though rationally I know that's not true.

7. Are you generally focused on today or tomorrow?

Neither.  I don't live in the moment like a perfect Zen meme, but tomorrow is terrifying, so I try not to think about either of them much.

Bonus: How do you eat Oreos? Which method best matches your Oreo cookie eating style?
a. Pick it up, bite into it.
b. Twist it open, eat each half separately
c. Twist it open, eat the frosting, then eat each chocolate cookie half separately.

Depends.  Usually I just eat them.  If I have milk, I might dunk, but I might not.  When I was younger I was definitely a dunker, but I don't drink anywhere near as much milk as I used to (water is cheaper and better for you, and I get plenty of dairy already) plus I don't like losing cookies to Davy Jones' Locker, only to have them reemerge later as sodden remnants of their former selves at the bottom of my glass as I finish drinking the milk.  I can mix milk and cookie in my mouth very satisfactorily.