TMI Tuesday

Should we be worried about sex robots?

That depends on why we're worried. If you, like me, worry about consent, we should worry about where the line is drawn. At what point does a robot become aware enough that it must give consent? Is that point before the point where it becomes capable of giving consent? But if we're talking about the robots of today, I'm not any more worried about them than I am about sex dolls, which is to say, I'm not worried about them.

A humanoid (a life-like robot) that looks like your biggest crush, and acts exactly the way you hoped your crush would act has been created. This humanoid initiates sex, with you. Would you have sex with the humanoid?

If we're living in a world where robots are allowed to consent to sex, I wonder whether this would ever be an issue. If somehow this robot is programmed to imitate my biggest crush (I don't know who that would be, not because I don't crush on anyone but because there are a few and I don't know if I can rank them, so let's just say it's a Jason Momoa bot) but has also been programmed to be into me in a way which my biggest crush wouldn't be (I'm pretty sure Jason and I could get along, but he's married and seems nice, so I wouldn't push it) can that robot really be said to have given consent?

But assuming all other things are equal, that somehow Jason Momoa bot is sentient and capable of consenting, and that there's no other hitch, sure, I'd fuck a robot if it wanted to.

What’s your typical sleep attire?

Nudity. Sometimes I wear underwear to bed, but usually I'm naked. Not mostly because of a romantic agenda, though that does feature in the calculus, but because I sleep hot.

What is the most cringe-worthy thing you have experienced in the bedroom?

Superlatives are hard, and I'm pretty sure I've talked about some cringe stuff before, so I'll dredge up another memory and while it may not be the most cringe, it'll be a contender, I guess. This is what you get when I have to answer generic questions.

Ooh, I remember this time I was hot and heavy with a guy, we were making out on his bed, I went to touch the goods, and he pulled away and asked me, in total seriousness, why I wasn't saving myself for marriage. Like, full-on youth pastor mode. Shockingly, this was not a guy from my Catholic high school, he was just some guy I met in college who turned out to be some degree of Protestant where purity pledges were a thing.

What made it particularly good was that he had been fingering me through my panties previously. I don't know what flipped the switch. Was he afraid that if I got my hands on his massive tool (word choice intentional) I wouldn't be able to resist Satan? Seriously folks, teach your sons better behavior.

However, when I got rather cold feet about the whole experience, he softened (not literally; I could see it in his pants that he was still raring to go, oddly enough) his stance and admitted that maybe it would be okay if I gave him a blowjob. I told him that no way I was going to let him get his jollies without me getting mine, and when I made it clear that I was serious, he got snippy and kicked me out because I was a heathen or some such.

I don't know that that was the most cringe, but it really made me reconsider my options for the evening, which was a shame because up until that point he was totally going to get rocked seventeen ways to Sunday.

Are you satisfied with the amount of after-sex affection (e.g., spooning, cuddling, intimate conversation) you receive? yes or no . If no, how could it be better?

Between Sveta and me, absolutely. We like basking in the afterglow a lot. Hell, the endorphins I get from just feeling her body against mine as our breathing slowly goes back to normal are enough, let alone any cuddling we might do post-coitally.

On average with any random partner, right now, yes, I'm fine, because like I have said before, I've been wanting it hard, fast, and rough. I don't necessarily want to snuggle afterward. In the balance over my entire career, this is a total speculation and also very stereotypical, but I think I've been more satisfied with the after-sex attention of the ladies than the gentlemen in my life. Girls like to cuddle more, I guess. But I've had plenty of cuddly guys. I don't know. I'm pretty satisfied all around.

Which is worse–smelly feet or smelly breath?

Breath by a country mile. I'm not into feet, so if they stink I can keep clear of them.

Beard or Moustache? Why?

I like the look of a full beard better than a mustache in most men (Tom Selleck being the exception) and mustaches often make guys look like '80s porn stars or some such. In sexual partners though, I might have to give the edge to the mustache, provided the shave on the chin wasn't stubbly. Mustaches tickle the right areas. Beards have the same tickle but they then have the problem of irritating the inner thighs. But I'm not going to turn down a guy with a beard at all. This is like comparing chocolate to another kind of chocolate: both fine, one might be slightly better than the other.

How often do you use pornography?

All the damn time. You should know this about me by now. I pressure the pink petals to porn almost exclusively.

Do you feel your religion restricts sexual behavior?

Hell no. I'm not terrible religious, but my spirituality or faith or whatever you want to call it loves sex, thinks sex is holy, etc. I wouldn't belong to a religion which didn't think sex was great.

Is your participation in sex, of any kind, tempered because of your own religious beliefs?

Again, not at all. If anything, my faith makes me want to give pleasure to others sexually in whatever ways I can.

Can you be kinky and practice religion?

Well, the guy in my cringe story obviously could, but maybe that was cognitive dissonance. I think you can. Kinks are just kinks. Maybe your religion forbids some of them, but you can't outlaw all kinks and have people having sex. People can have kinks for P-in-V missionary with their spouses.

I guess it depends on what one means by "practice religion." And what one means by "kink." I'm sure that the fundies don't think you can be kinky and religious, but that's because they're so uptight about sex. And if you don't think that there are kinky fundamentalist men who get off on controlling their wives, on repeatedly impregnating them, on basically having a D/s relationship with women, think again.

Religion can talk about sex. I'll even accept religion legislating the morality of certain sexual acts. It's not for me, but I don't think it's wrong with a capital R to believe that you shouldn't have sex outside of marriage. I think it's sad, and maybe misguided, but I don't think it has to be harmful. It usually is, but it doesn't have to be. But just as keeping Kosher isn't for me and I don't think it's harmful, so religion can forbid certain sexual activities and I don't necessarily think that's harmful either. Where it becomes harmful is when you start applying those prohibitions to people not of your religion, or believing that those prohibitions are the only way to be. I'm very live and let live about sex. If you only have sex with your spouse, and your spouse is okay with that, good for you both, have fun, whatever. Start telling me what I can and can't do, and then we have problems.