TMI Tuesday

Are women natural seducers or are men?

I'm not sure anyone is a natural seducer, but I think women have the edge in certain situations. Men think with their cocks a lot, and if they're doing that, a woman can definitely seduce them more easily than if a woman is horny and there's a guy around. But I'm not sure that's a fair comparison. I don't think either do as well as we'd like to think.

Which of the following statements most closely matches your sexual attitude?
a. Sex is best when you focus on your own pleasure.
b. Sex is best when I can totally meld with my partner and feel as one.
c. Sex is best when the purpose is that of conceiving a child.
d. Sex is just a behavior; don’t put too much importance on the act, just do it the way you like and need.

B and D. Sex is best when there's a meeting of minds, but it's just a behavior too.

Do you need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy sex with another person?

Absolutely not. Does it help make sex better? Sure. But I can fuck a total stranger with whom I've said nothing more than, "You wanna fuck?" and get off just fine thank you.

Are you allowed to be sexual? Explain.

So I chose this one because I feel like, as I get older (and brother am I getting older by the second) I'm less allowed to be sexual by society. I'm not letting that stop me, of course, but it sometimes seems like women in general, and older women in particular, are punished for being sexual. I've never stopped because of that, but I wish we lived in a society where that wasn't the case.

Agree or Disagree. Sex without love is meaningless.

Strongly disagree. Sex without love is a lot of fun. Fun isn't meaningless. Love without sex is fine too. I think we need to stop conflating sex and love; they're two different things.

Conventional wisdom (but not research) says that women value monogamy more than men. Is this true for you?

Hahahahahaha*choke gasp*hahahahahaha.

Agree or Disagree. If people want to have more than one spouse they should be allowed to do that.

Strongly agree. I think we need to move past the idea that marriage is between one person and one other person. Hell, I think you should be able to enter into a marriage contract with anything capable of giving consent to such a thing. It's a legal binding, nothing more. That said, I also think that marriage as a more spiritual thing should be allowed to be between any number of people of any number of genders.

Do you believe in ethical non-monogamy?

I live it. As long as your partner is okay with it and you follow whatever rules there happen to be in your relationship, I don't see why anyone has to get hurt. People, unfortunately, do get hurt, so it's important to stress that that's not a product of ethical non-monogamy being unable to apply in the real world, but a product of the real world being difficult.

Is polyamory something you want?

I live it. Right now I don't want to live in the lesbian commune that fate seems bound and determined to force me into (yes, I know, complaining about paradise) but I love more than one person, even if I don't live with them.

Do you wish that your ethical non-monogamy was a societal/cultural norm?

Holy shit yes. If for no other reason than that it would make things easier for me. But it would also make things easier for everyone else. I think, though, that for that to happen, more than just ethical non-monogamy would have to be in place. Sex would have to be totally different, baggage-wise and culturally, in order for my particular brand of ethical non-monogamy to take hold.

If you are in or have been in an open sexual relationship, what are the best bits?

Sharing my wife with others. Honestly, I couldn't give up being able to fuck who I want, but the best part is being with the woman I love and with someone else that we both want.

Describe what your ideal intimate and/or sexual relationship would look like today.

I'm pretty sure I've got it, so just read the blog about how my relationship with Sveta works. I'm a lucky gal in many ways.