21 Questions - Would You Rather...

I stole these from Lola, who in turn no doubt stole them from someone else, and so on back into infinity.  I'm actually pretty impressed; they're fairly good questions.  And since readers don't chime in that often (not that I've given much encouragement in the past month or so) I went for it because who can resist a meme?

1. Would you rather have a threesome with 2 guys and a girl, or 2 girls and a guy?

I've never sat down and attempted to tot up the figures as far as which one I've had more, but my gut tells me that I've probably had a few more FFMs than MMFs.  It's a tough call even then though, because they're both so enjoyable in different ways.  On average, I'd say that if you can get an MMF, it's probably going to be better because people are inclined to be more into it, but by the same token it's harder to get it started because guys are terrified of doing it for some reason.  So I guess I'll say MMF, just because if they were both on offer and at the same level of quality, I'd probably leap at the chance for DP which I haven't had in ages.

2. Would you rather have complete sober sex or completely buzzed sex?

Sober.  Always sober.  Drunk sex is rarely as good, and there's always a good chance you won't remember it in the morning.  Not that I'm totally opposed to some drunk fucking, but it's never going to be better.

3. Would you rather have your toes sucked or your ears?

That's a tough one.  I don't mind toe-kissing, but leaving spit behind is yucky.  And I don't want a wet willy.  Probably my earlobes would be fine.  I'd rather have certain other things sucked though.

4. Would you rather screw George w Bush or Martha Stewart?

If we're talking "screw" as in "take advantage of and leave bleeding in a ditch..."  But we're not talking that.  In total contradiction to my beliefs on pretty much everything else, I'd have to say that I'd probably rather fuck Bush, simply because it'd be over quicker and I could just lie back and think of England.  And sadly I'm just not that into older women.  I have no real beef with Martha Stewart, but I'm not attracted to her at all.

5. Would you rather have morning sex or night sex?

Morning in the actual morning?  No.  Wake-up sex is fine, but I'd rather not wake up at the crack of dawn for sex.  I like falling asleep sex too, but I do like wake-up sex.  Still, night sex is probably going to win out here just because I like the nightlife, I like to boogie..

6. Would you rather do it in the hot tub or big shower?

Hot tub by a narrow margin.  Since I have something of a combination in-house, it's a hard call, but I narrowly don't like standing-up sex as much as sitting-down sex.

7. Would you rather have no sex for a week or crappy sex for 2 weeks?

This will illuminate my psyche I'm sure, but unless we're talking really crappy, I'll take the crappy.  No sex for a week would be tough.  If there was some marginal chance I might get something out of the crappy sex, even if it weren't anything more than that pleasant feeling of being penetrated, I might go for that.  Now, if "no sex" means masturbation continues on the menu, and the crappy sex was so crappy that not only wasn't it good, it was actively unpleasant, then no sex and the tender tickled tamale for me, thank you kindly.

8. Would you rather be with an experienced person or non-experienced?

Another good one.  I fluctuate; there's a part of me that really enjoys innocence and inexperience (I've talked about this part; she's not the best part of my by a long stretch), but honestly I prefer to experience that vicariously a lot of times.  Watching two newbies at it is better sometimes than corrupting the innocent yourself.  Not that it's not fun to be the experienced one.  I'd say, further illuminating my bad spots, that I'd rather have an experienced guy, but for women, it's a much harder call.  Possibly still experienced, but I like a little cherry on top every so often.

9. Would you rather be naked in public or get caught by your parents?

Too easy.  Not really even a fair question for me to answer.

10. Would you rather be with one person for the rest of your life or experience many?

Many.  Not sure I could do just one.

11. Would you rather be the dominant one or submissive one?

Keeping in mind my total lack of hard-core-ness on the subject, I'm probably happier slightly more submissive with men and slightly more dominant with women.  But that's a vague inclination, nothing more.

12. Would you rather have sex in a church or a funeral home?

Oh God, totally a church.  Funeral home?  No thank you.  I am dying to actually have sex in a Catholic church (my schooling has warped me, I'm afraid) but since I no longer attend Catholic school, my chance has probably come and gone.  I used to dream of corrupting a priest in church, but that was just idle fantasy.  Still, I'm going with church every time.  Funerals make me really sad.

13. Would you rather have texting sex or phone sex?

Neither.  Please don't make me choose; that's like a rock and a hard place.

14. Would you rather die a virgin or a hoe?

It'd be hard for me to die a virgin.  And given the way they've spelled "whore" it'd be hard for me to die that way too, since I'm not a tool used for hoeing.  I'd rather not die either a virgin or a whore, but given the choice, I think I'm going with whore.

15. Would you rather post a picture of tits or ass?

Ass.  My tits aren't my best feature.  This doesn't mean you get to see any more of either of them.

16. Would you rather do it on the kitchen counter or in front of fire place with a roaring fire?

The fireplace sounds cozy and nice for a certain type of fuck, but the kitchen counter sounds like the ideal for another type.  I'd have to say the fire, because in my decrepitude I'm built for comfort rather than speed.

17. Would you rather have 30 minutes of foreplay which included a backrub or a 30 minute orgasm?

Back rubs are nice and all, but I don't require them out of foreplay at all.  I've had more than thirty minutes of foreplay (or what I'd qualify as foreplay) often enough, but never a thirty minute orgasm.  That sounds like something I'd like to try.

18. Would you rather be covered in chocolate or whip cream?

Having tried both, for strictly practical reasons, whipped cream is easier to clean up.  If I'm the one being covered, I'll go for the cream.  But if I'm eating it off of someone else, chocolate all the way baby.

19. Would you do it risky business style or Pretty woman style?

I have no idea, since I don't know what either of them are.

20. Would you rather have sex with the cowardly lion or the wicked witch of the west?

I figure this is probably some kind of allegorical question about what you prefer in a lover, but in terms of strict literalness, I'll take the Lion.  Fierce, noble, kind, and gentle, with a lion-sized cock... who would take warty, cackly, and evil over that?  Okay, so the witch probably has her good points too.

21. Would you rather have an orgasm once every 20 seconds or once every 5 years?

This is another illuminating one, but I'll take the 20 second option because I couldn't stand to go 5 years without an O. Quantity wins over quality, even though I'm sure the 5-year orgasm would be better. Although the question doesn't say that, so why assume it? Maybe the 20-second Os are just as good, and you have more of them. You might eventually build up a tolerance to them, I guess, and having an orgasm every 20 seconds might get embarrassing, but still, it'd brighten up my day.

There you have it.  Feel free to send my questions, or point me in the direction of question lists, or something.