Lyuba was her name. "It means 'Love,'" she told me as she laid the fur on the cold rock and shimmied out of her tight American jeans. The chill of winter's kiss made me shiver in my coat, but she was warm as toast in nothing but a hat. "Anal is a thousand extra." I loved her just then, looking down, knowing she was nothing but a whore. I remember Lyuba's name, but everything else has faded into a random fuck, and after, cold, silent eyes.
Brigit lounged on the rocks, winter's kiss glowing on her cheeks and rump as she waited expectantly. Soon the green man would come, flame driving away winter and giving birth to spring. He would rut her like the beast he was, leave her panting for more, never quite satisfying her, though the spring be fertile and warm, the summer fruitful. Winter would come again, and so again she would seek out this spot and wait with bare body for the green man to ravish her anew.
Two very different takes this week. I wrote them in the order they appear, and I don't think they have anything to do with one another. The extreme brevity this week made things tough; I chopped the first one up a lot to get it to fit, and the second I rewrote completely two or three times before it sat properly within the restrictions.
Lyuba is actually a diminutive of Lyubov, which is one of my least favorite Russian names for women. But I love Lyuba. And it does mean love, or it comes from the Russian word for love. I decided that she would be named Lyuba, and the rest sort of wrote itself, although it wrote itself entirely too long and had to be severely pruned. It's how I feel about prostitution, sort of. Just a brief moment of time. And lest you think that she's an expensive prostitute, a thousand rubles is roughly $32 American.
The second was more fun, but it was a bear to write. It's a conflation of all kinds of mythology and superstition and so forth. I figured that if I was writing one where winter was obviously ascendant, I should write one where spring is coming on, since the picture could imply either, and we're at the close of the year and so forth. I like the idea of a midwinter tryst to give new life to the world, but obviously she never gets enough, otherwise it would always be summer.
My process for writing these really short ones is always to grab one essential thing and tell only that. There's not enough room to be descriptive or give exposition or anything. You just have to find the essential thing to write about and write it. Sounds like stupid advice, but believe me, I've got to keep it in mind otherwise I can't write 86 words. With slightly more, I can worry more about paring down verbiage, keeping things tight, but if you tighten something this short too much, it loses form completely. I don't worry as much about phrasing with the short things, because the phrasing should be there if you've written it properly in the first place. I definitely don't write something longer and then reduce it; I have to write with the brevity in mind or it won't work.
Not that my way is the only way. Just giving you a glimpse into my way. You could do the same by jumping in and writing something yourself, and I warmly encourage you to do so. Even if PB isn't around for the next few weeks, we still could use more people participating, and I'm happy to add you to my list of participants if you tell me. We're all very nice people, and we're never perfect, so while sometimes the competition might seem fierce, next week might be your week to be brilliant. Flash Fiction Friday. Because you can't suck if you don't try.
Here are the people (so far, anyway; let me know if I can add you) who've tried:
- Advizor: http://advizortoall.blogspot.com/
- David: http://dsinvegas.blogspot.com/
- Kenny: http://secretlifeofagentleman.blogspot.com/
- Lola: http://sexbabble.blogspot.com/
- Rozewolf: http://wordwytch.wordpress.com/
- Scintellectual: http://scintillectual.com/
- William: http://thetrainingofmylovelyslut.blogspot.com/
- and of course, PB, who goes last because he totally wins this week, and I'm sorry to everyone else but we're all second to him: http://insatiabear.blogspot.com/
17 comments:
I thought I recognized the word "lyuba". I'm glad you explained the meaning. I'm familiar with the words, "I love you" in Russian. I loved that name for your character. Also loved the second story and the idea of what Brigit does every winter (with a green man!). Great advice for the short word count story.
@TemptingSweets: Charles Bronson said it best in The Great Escape.
Sedgwick: Danny, do you speak Russian?
Danny: A little, but only one sentence.
Sedgwick: Well, let me have it, mate.
Danny: Ya vas lyublyu.
Sedgwick: What's it mean?
Danny: I love you.
Sedgwick: I love you? What bloody good is that?
Danny: I don't know, I wasn't going to use it myself.
We often think of winter's power ravishing the earth. I prefer your take and found it refreshing. The cold-eyed winter bitch ravished by the green man. Both of your takes are excellent. Good work.
Gee, I didn't know we were actually competing for anything...I just enjoy having some inspiration! Both of your offerings are lovely. I can utterly relate to cutting back. Mine had to be hacked to death in order to fit the 86 word limit. That's a tall order!
~Scin.
Hey Lexi! Fabulous, as always. ;) And I liked your comment to Sweets. I've not seen The Great Escape, but that's a great exchange.
I've actually written something for FFF this week. Perhaps you wouldn't mind adding me to your list.
@Oversexed Librarian: Oh no no no, Brigit is no cold-eyed bitch; she brings light to the people and gives them hope that spring will come again. Think of it more as sex between two people driving winter away, not as rough sex with winter.
@Scintellectual: I didn't really mean competition, just that I think sometimes people read the entries and assume they could never do something that good. If you're inspired, that's much better :)
@Lola: Done and done. The scene in question, which I wish I could link to in video form, involves the two speakers attempting to break out of the POW camp by pretending to be Russian prisoners, hence the conversation. Great scene; I quote it all the time when someone questions the practical applications of a bit of trivia: "I wasn't going to use it myself."
Nicely done lexi, she rather looks like a russian girl and a prostitute, now that you mention it. And for $32, why not?
@David: I don't know, $32 seems pretty steep to me ;)
Well, if it is a thousand extra, we have to assume there was an initial fee of at least 2 or 4 thousand, and so, as they say, in for a dime, in for a dollar.
Great work as usual.
I did complete a FFF post..I was inspired and also went Russian.
It's funny how a fuzzy hat and snow makes us all think Russian.
BTW...$35 will get you a nasty street walker crack ho...maybe
For this wonderful beast you will be paying about $500 to $700 an hour maybe even more. For that price anal is usually included. It is considered a little tacky to surcharge at the moment of penetration. Most pros will let you know what the rules are when you first meet them, if they do charge for for Anal it is usually about $100 to $200. However, as I said before once you breach the $500 per hour mark you usually get what you want.
@Kenny: 1) I never said she was a good whore; she might be extremely tacky, or she might merely be reminding him of the agreement. 2) She charged $35 extra, not $35 total. 3) Maybe it's a different era, in which case the ruble would be worth more. 4) I know fuck all about the Michelin Guide for Russian Prostitutes ;) 5) I went Russian because that's what I do, when all else fails. 6) I should never have mentioned a specific price.
@Kenny: Oh, and 7) I am obviously in the wrong line of work if people are making $500 an hour for prostitution. Not that I have any desire to become a whore, but damn, I'm really underpaid.
Enjoyed both of those. Second one though won my pagan heart. :)
I find it interesting the way each of us works through the writing process. For me it is a phrase or an idea that give me the snapshot story. Never many edits though. Often I have to go back and add words rather than delete them. This is one of the few that I had to delete a phrase. All in all, it is a beautiful learning experience. Oh, and a fun one.
LOL! That was a good one. ;-)
Best wishes for the New Year!
@wordwytch: I'm glad someone's pagan heart was won ;) I'm really only sharing my process (which now that I read it again seems all wrong anyway) because it's something to talk about; I would never suggest that what works for me would work for anyone else. But maybe it gives a glimpse into my madness.
I love both of these takes, actually. The first, because you threw in the Russian influence so apparent in the clothing, and the second one precisely because of the mythology and whatnot that you threw in. Awesomely done in both cases.
Thanks for joining in!
-- PB
@PB: Yours still won. Utterly, totally won.
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