Hard and Fast

If I had one piece of advice to give people about anal sex, it would be: "It doesn't always have to be brutal." Now I'm not saying that, if you happen to like your anal with a dash of spice, you shouldn't by all means go after that particular rainbow. Far from it; I have enjoyed a little of the old ultraviolence in my time, although probably far less than some people enjoy. I'm not into pain, but rough sometimes scratches an itch.

But if someone told you that all sex had to be tantamount to rape, what would you say? If someone said, "Oh yeah, if you're not spitting in her face, calling her a whore, and ramming your cock in and out of her cunt so fast that she passes out and bleeds all over the carpet, you're not doing it right," what would you think about this person?

And yet that's what most people think of when they think "anal sex." I don't know whether it's the taboo surrounding it or the fact that pornography seems to equate anal sex with brutality. There might even be other reasons, or all those above and more. But whatever the reason, you don't have to get fucked hard in the ass. In fact, I would strongly recommend against it, your first time out.

I don't want to bash men here at all; I think many bad anal experiences can be explained as a combination of factors, not least of which is a lack of sufficient preparations. But some men clearly like to watch women take enormous cocks up the ass without much in the way of foreplay. There are a lot of movies out there purporting to show anal virgins and their first times, and in nearly all of them, the implication is that the woman is only doing it because she's getting paid or wants to work in porn, and she makes faces and screams and begs to be anywhere else but invaded by a cock.

I don't know how much of that is true; I'm not involved in the pornography business. I can spot some fakes; if it's really giving you a bad time, it shouldn't go in like your ass is the Holland Tunnel, for instance, no matter how much you may mug for the camera. But a lot of the time, I just don't know. And I wonder, if it's real, will these women ever enjoy anal, or will it be tainted for them.

But that's beside the point. The point is that you can have slow, luxurious sex with anal, just as you can with vaginal intercourse, and if you like anal but haven't tried anything but wham bam thank you ma'am, I really think you owe it to yourself to give it a try.

I know a lot of women don't get much stimulation from anal; honey, that's what toys and fingers were made for. Just because you don't get a lot of stimulation, that's no reason to believe that it will feel any better if it's harder and faster. Slow down. Concentrate on the sensations. Maybe you won't cum, or maybe not without help; I know I don't cum from pure anal without a little stimulation to other areas. But I enjoy the hell out of the sensations because I'm not in a race to orgasm. Sometimes sex can be about something other than cumming.

I would be terribly hypocritical if I insisted that I'd never had anal sex where it was a race to orgasm though. Sometimes, I just want to get off, just like everyone else. I like getting off with a cock in my ass. Why shouldn't I?

So next time you're greasing up the ol' back door, think about maybe trying it low and slow. It makes the meat extra tender. No, wait, that's cooking. Soft and slow will make things last longer, and maybe if it's not hard and fast, you might find that you want things to last longer anyway. It's a bit of a Catch-22; people don't like the sensations of anal so they rush through it because they're trying to make their partners happy, but the reason they don't like the sensations is because they're rushing it.

This is probably an old hat to a lot of my readers; I've just been watching some anal porn and thinking about different things. And wishing I had some anal. Mostly that.

I remember the first full-night anal session I had with someone, romantic and loving, not crazy and wild. His cock never touched my pussy, except maybe the lower part of the lips. He was into anal in a big way; I suspect a few latent bisexual neurons in his brain were firing overtime. It was the first time, I think, that someone had spent so much time tossing my salad, as it were; he spent plenty of time licking my pussy, but he spent an equal or greater amount of time tonguing my ass. I don't generally go for that, but he wouldn't let up, just kept working on me until I was perfectly happy to let him go on putting his tongue up my butt forever. I was so blissed out I didn't even notice that he kissed me, which might in certain circumstances have grossed me out.

We made love face to face to start, which was a new experience, not because I hadn't ever had missionary anal, but because I get most of it from behind, which I'm not complaining about. If this had been hard and fast anal, missionary would have been awkward; as it was, his cock pressed into my ass and I wrapped myself around him, and we just pressed together, kissing, his hips shifting slowly in and out. I was more flexible then than I am now, and my legs were around his back, which lifted me up a little, put me in a better position to take him in the ass. I think in hindsight I would have put a pillow under me, but we were too into each other to care.

I got to really feel it, slowly, the tension of my sphincter, the slight friction of him sliding in and out, even with a lot of lube, the filling and then emptying of my anus. The anal walls aren't particularly sensitive, but I could still feel a lot of things which would have been lost in the noise had he been fucking me hard and fast.

He didn't last that long, but his pubes tickled my pussy and he ground himself into my clit as he came, which gave me a tiny O without touching myself. Then he got down between my legs again and licked my ass clean, sucking cum out of me, encouraging me to push it out. Yes, there were a few humorous noises. We didn't care.

I sucked him, which again, I don't normally do straight from my ass, and when he was hard again, he put me face down on the bed, just my ass in the air, and lay down on top of me, supporting some of his weight with his arms, while his cock pressed directly down into my ass from behind. Again, it wasn't as deep as it could have gotten; my buttocks were in the way for one thing. But he didn't really thrust, he just ground down, occasionally pulled up a little and then pressing down again. It really made me feel the fullness of it. Since my hands were unoccupied, I could reach down and tickle my joy buzzer while he ground down, so it was really like I was just holding my hand there and being ground against it. I don't know what psychological desire it fulfilled; perhaps it evoked the womb, or something similarly odd. Whatever it was, I enjoyed myself, and he lasted much longer, long enough for two orgasms on my part, the second coming to a head just as he came in my tail.

We rested for a while after he again cleaned me up, this time saving some cum on his tongue to feed to me, which I accepted without thinking. Again, not something I'm normally into, but I felt good with him.

Then, lastly, I rode him, sitting my asshole back on his cock, which started quite calmly but became more and more energetic until he rolled me over, legs around his waist, and held me up a bit as he fucked me, plain and simple, hard and fast. The contrast was wonderful too, and my ass was so relaxed that taking his whole length and girth was easy at that point, easy and fun. It wasn't slut this and whore that, no spitting, no name-calling, just a nice, vigorous fuck to round things out.

He was a hell of a lover, but not much for anything else. Not a tremendous personality, didn't like many of the same things I did, and wasn't interested in anything but anal, which I was happy to give him except that I really like things other than anal as well. I learned some things from him; he was older and more experienced at anal than I was, really, having had up to that point mostly anal with Mike and some quickies of uncertain quality. That's why you practice with more than one person; even if you want to be with one person the rest of your life, you never know what you might learn from someone else. Think outside the box.

No, that wasn't a pun, until I realized that it could be, so now it is one. Think outside the box. I slay me.

So, in summation, while most of the anal I get isn't like this, I wish I got a bit more of the slow, romantic kind, at least to break up the faster-paced stuff. Hell, I wish I got more of it period. Anal shouldn't be painful, kids (well, not unless you want it to be). It's just sex. It should have nuance.