Sex is Nice

To those who’ve asked, Sveta and I are geographically coexisting, but temporally is another matter.  She works, I work, and we don’t currently share any days off, which means less time together.  Which sucks.

But when we do get together, it’s pretty epic.  Last night, even though we both had to wake up for work the next day, I spent an hour slowly working larger and larger things into her ass.  She’s getting to be a pro at taking things in her asshole. and I love, love, love to watch her squirm as that puckered rosebud slowly accepts something which looks like it should split her in two.  With some mad money, we went out a few weeks ago and got a plug which  is almost the size of my fist at its widest point.  The thing about it is that it doesn’t have much taper; it starts small, gets big pretty quickly, and then only has a very small bump at the bottom above the base.

You can’t just jump right in, of course.  I do a lot of anal massaging, and we’ve found that I can get her off almost without touching anything but her ass.  The plug is clear glass too, so I can see up inside her, which never turned me on that much before but really does now.

And I’ve been getting some jollies too.  I had a fling with a guy I met at a party, a one-night thing but what a night it was.  He was rough, which I hadn’t realized I needed, but when he started fucking my throat and then stopped and apologized, I just jammed my head back down on his cock and he took the hint.  I was a little bruised when it was said and done.  No anal, but while he didn’t have incredible stamina, he made up for it with lots of excellent fore- and after-play, as well as being up for it four times in a row over the course of a few hours.  Never knew his last name, will never see him again, and I was fine with that.

Other than that, I have no time still, and I don’t know when or if that will change.  Had a few moments and I’m really horny, so I thought I’d share.  Unlimited love to you all.

TMI Not Tuesday

1. I could spend all day _fucking_ but couldn’t stand five minutes _watching NASCAR_ .

Yeah, okay, so that’s a bit of a non-sequitor.  I really don’t get car racing though. If that makes me an ivory-tower-elite, I guess that’s what I am.

2. I would love to have a robot in my house to do _pretty much everything domestic_ because no one else ever does.

I hate housework.

3. The older you get the more _tired_ you get.

Tell me it’s not true. Okay, it’s probably not for lucky people.

4. I want to _have wild sex_ when I _see my sweetie_ .

Which isn’t anywhere near often enough these days.

5. My appetite for _sex_ can never be satisfied.

Yeah, did you really think I wasn’t going to say this? I can live with less than I want, but I want more than I could ever have so that’s a good thing.

Bonus: If I were a hoarder, I would hoard _pornography_ .

Except I am and I do.

No Time

I love you all, I really do.  I just wish I had more time.  I'm alive.  I'm just...  Have you ever had things go right just so they can go wrong worse than they were before?  That's about where I am right now.  Terrified of the other shoe dropping.  I wish I could escape to blog-land, tell a few fun, sexy stories, get myself into a tither.  But I can't.  No time.

TMI Saturday

1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)?
*forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.

I might try it out, but I’m not really a dom by nature, nor am I that into men in women’s clothing.  As with many things I’ve never done (not that I’ve never done that many things) it would depend on who was asking and how they asked.

2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?

Aggressive, no.  Cruel, a bit.  I have some dark parts of my psyche which worry me.

3. Tell us your hottest filthiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals, or are social taboos.

To be tied up in a vulnerable position and made use of by random people however they wanted.  Maybe a few rules, but pretty much open season on Lexi.  The bondage isn’t really necessary, but there’s a part of me that would just like to be used right now.  Toilet play definitely involved.  What can I say?  I’m feeling kinky.

4. Which super hero would you like to have sex with? Why?

1. Aquaman
2. Superman
3. Wonder Woman
4. She-Ra

Either of the two women, although I could see the up-side to Aquaman as well.  Superman seems like a dick, frankly, and not in a good way.

5. Knowing there’s a hot young couple in the adjoining hotel room, would you press your ear against the wall to hear the action on the other side?

Good lord yes.  I don’t mind if someone listens to me either.

6. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.

I think technology makes it easier to think our abnormalities are okay (not that they aren’t), to find people of a similar mindset, and definitely to get pornographic materials.  Other than that, I don’t know, and I’m not sure if any of the above are good or bad things.

Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words.

Fantasy, fantasy, fantasy.  I’m trying more and more to keep a separation.  There’s no point in living in fantasies, not when there are many things in the real world which are wonderful.  But by the same token, fantasy is important too.  If I fantasize about someone other than Sveta, that doesn’t mean I love her any less.  It’s fantasy.  It’s healthy.  But it shouldn’t affect my real life.

Collections

ps asked me a question a while back, and I never got around to answering, and now it inspired this post.  I won’t be specifically answering his question, but he deserves attribution for the impulse.

I believe I mentioned a while back that I'm a bit of a hoarder, but in the digital realm mostly. I have to have series in their entirety. Even if I didn't like the last season of a TV show, I might buy the whole package so I can have it all. And I collect data. I have hundreds of books that I probably won't ever get the chance to read.  I have a lot of eBooks even though I don’t really like eBooks.  I have PDFs by the zillion.  And I have a lot of porn.  A lot.

My biggest porn collection is images. I just enjoy collecting them, like one might collect stamps or coins or postcards.  I think I may enjoy collecting them more than I enjoy looking at them.  It may spring from a time when I was in a situation where I didn’t have much internet access, so I had to hoard for the lean times.  Or maybe it’s just my OCD.  Yes, collecting is a form of OCD.

I don't collect videos as much, although I do collect links to them. And I can look at porn more than once. Maybe not repeatedly for a long period, but if I look at it, enjoy it, save it, and then come back to it later, I can enjoy it again.  My video collection is more of a functional thing; I will probably look at most of the links I collect eventually (although I’m always collecting more).

Basically, I have hang-ups.  Who doesn’t?

I used to go for hardcore porn in images, but lately I’ve been more interested in the kind of thing that you might see in FFF, or maybe just nude women.  I also like amateur stuff, the stuff that maybe isn’t much good, but somehow because it’s amateur it’s more “real” to me and so I enjoy it more.  My hardcore cravings I get out with videos.

And did I mention that I’ve started using Picasa to tag my picture collection.  Because secretly I want to be a librarian.

So yes, I have gigs and gigs of images that I’m probably never going to look at again.  And yes, that’s probably not healthy, per se.  But at least they’re not physical objects, and I’ve occasionally done a “Fuck it, I’m deleting everything!” purge.  I tossed a lot of stuff that I thought might get me into trouble at a certain point.  And there’s a part of me that hates that I get rid of things.  But what are you going to do?  Spring cleaning, that’s what it is.  Healthy, I guess.

Anyway, that’s my collection of words about collections.

More Serious Discussion

So I got the job I was hoping for.

Yay me.  I'm actually really happy about it.  But what it means is that, in combination with a few other circumstances... I have basically no time to blog.  At all.

Yeah.

I'm not stopping.  I'm just telling you all why I'm not blogging at the moment.  Things will change and I'll get more time, I hope, and then maybe I'll be able to start up again.  But for right now, I need the money and I can't make money like this.  The job comes first.  Well, actually, Sveta comes first, then job, then other stuff, then, sadly, the blog.

So I love you, and I'll be back I hope, but if you don't see me around as much, that's why.

Fuck You Again Blogger

Blogger doesn't confirm comment deletion, nor does it offer the ability to delete to the trashcan and later recover said deletions.  So I had a lot of nice comments which went bye-bye when I accidentally pressed the wrong button.  I shall reproduce them in their entirety below because I love you all.  Fortunately, they were available to me via email.

Also, I'm turning off comment moderation because I almost never get spam or anything which needs to be moderated, and I'm not around often enough to make it fair to anyway.  Expect to see comments immediately.  I can still moderate them after they're published anyway.

Here we go:

Jack and Jill left a comment on "TMI Maybe":

Masturbation rules no matter what month it is! We're a bit intrigued by your porn collection. :)

Jack and Jill left a comment on "Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps":

Nothing more fun than upsetting uptight people! Great story. 

TemptingSweets99 left a comment on "Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps":

"There’s no point in indulging a hint of mischief if no one disapproves."

Love it! Happy FFF!

Advizor54 left a comment on "Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps":

If your new found employment interferes with your writing, then I will have to insist that you move in with me as a sponsor and keep up with your art. :-)

The Panserbjørne left a comment on "Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps":

I stole it from one of your photo archives somewhere, I'm pretty sure. I don't think it was one you actually sent to me.

Glad to have you playing along!

-- PB

Max left a comment on "Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps":

Lovely little piece. As you say, what's the fun if no one disapproves? :-)

Happy FFF!

Thanks everyone.  And I'm sorry I deleted these and they won't appear where they should.  But I love you all, even my lurkers.  No need to comment for me to love you.

Flash Fiction Friday - Gasps

Some people smile as I walk by.  They’re the kind I hate.  They’re boring.  I want a disapproving glare, a sour glance, even a gasp.  There’s no point in indulging a hint of mischief if no one disapproves.  But the ones I like the best are the eyes that follow even as they mouth scandalized nonsense.  They burn my skin hotter than the sun.  And I smile and let them look and get wet as wet can be.

---

Short this week, but with a kick.  I’m not sure how well I can keep up with Flash Fiction Friday any more, but since PB was back this week, and it’s a picture that I apparently provided a long time ago (I don’t honestly remember it, but that’s okay) I had to play along.  Because Flash Fiction Friday rocks. 

TMI Maybe

I don’t need a special month to masturbate.  But apparently some people need to celebrate it, so hey, it’s May, which begins with the same letter as “masturbate,” right?  So does March, but why not?

1. How often do you masturbate?

A lot.  Less recently, but still, probably more than most people.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?

Um… masturbating?  Sure, why not?  Sorry if I sound flippant about it, but I don’t really care about official months.  I was doing it before, and I’ll keep doing it.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?

1. Yes, it turns me on.
2. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
3. Not really, it’s boring.
4. No, it’s a turn off.
5. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

I enjoy watching partners masturbate, but really, I’d rather be having sex if I have a partner with which to do it.

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?

1. a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
2. b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
3. c. No, it’s embarrassing.
4. d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

Absolutely.  But again, if possible, sex.

5. Mutual masturbation? Yay or Nay?

Sure; again, sex better.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012 would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?

If I could arrange the time, I’d probably go, just as an excuse to travel.  Can Sveta come too?  I’m fine with masturbating as part of a crowd.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?

I think there’s a fair chance of it.  I can live without it, but given the opportunity, I do it.  And it bothers me a little to think about this question because I hate that something so great is an addiction, but it probably is for me.  I’ll still fuck first and masturbate second, but it might be a little unhealthy, particularly as it also plays into my OCD about collections (i.e. I collect porn).

Hope you all enjoyed, because I got a job and have much less time for a lot of things, so I may be getting even quieter than I was.  Priorities are hell, but they’re priorities.

Flash Fiction Friday–Not What She Appears

My dirty little secret is that I don’t know anything about photography.  Well, my two dirty little secrets are a lack of photographic knowledge and that I fuck models for money.  If my parents knew, they’d shit bricks.

Today, the model isn’t hung.  I don’t mind.  I just accept payment to pretend to like them.  I start with my usual spiel, how cute he is, how much I’m looking forward to this, blah blah blah.  He’s cute, in a way, so it’s not really lying.  And the man behind the mirror wants enthusiasm.

Sometimes the models get wind of what’s up, but this one seems naive.  Even when I’m telling him that I just can’t stand the heat, pulling off my blouse, encouraging him to do the same, he seems puzzled.  Sometimes they really think it’s a modeling gig.  They’re so cute.

But when I come out from behind the camera, totally nude, and start sucking his cock, his look changes to satisfaction, and I wonder just who was playing whom.  But I don’t care.

---

I finally get to do a FFF sort of on time.  I’m actually writing this on Friday because this week has been hellish, but I wanted to try to get it in on a Friday.  Thanks to Ram for hosting, by the way; I had no idea he was doing it for so many weeks, or I might have tried to sneak one in sooner.

MetArt always has erotic photos.  Not necessarily sexy, but very erotic.  This one is no exception.  Just felt like tossing that out there.

I know shit about photography, and that was the first thing I thought, after the obligatory, “Oooh, sexy girl,” brain freeze.  I wondered how much the model knew about photography either.  It seems to be something that crops up in erotica/pornography; taking a picture of a cute girl taking a picture.  I guess if you’re a photographer’s model, it probably pays to know something.  And you probably pick stuff up by exposure (pun unintended, I assure you).  But I just wondered exactly how much this woman really knew about photography.  And the story kind of wrote itself.  I wish I had more space, because hey, I could write more.

I don’t often write in the present tense, as I believe I’ve mentioned in the past, but for whatever reason, this one lent itself to that too.

Anyway, Flash Fiction Friday is cool.  Just saying.

TMI Wednesday

Because I’m always behind.

1. Are you wearing any jewelry? What?

A ring Sveta gave me.

2. What are you listening to now?

Nothing at all.

3. What is the last piece of entertainment media (i.e., cd, download, book, DVD) that you purchased?

I bought several books and several DVDs at a used book sale a week or so ago.  I feel guilty about spending the money now.  Yay poverty.

4. What kind of undergarments are you wearing right now? Care to post a photo?

Normal panties and bra.  Nothing special.  And thus, no real reason to post a photo.  The imagination is better anyway.

5. What is your current mood?

Depressed.  About life, about the state of the world, finances, about a lot of things.  If I don’t get this job which it looks increasingly like I won’t, I’m up shit creek.

6. What is the best looking thing about you today?

My ass, I guess.  It’s been the one thing that hasn’t changed much in the past few months.  I still think it could be more toned, but I’m not going to go to the effort, so I guess it’ll just stay flabby.  Yay inertia.

7. Fill in the blank. Tonight I’m looking forward to...

I don’t know what I’m looking forward to.  If I get this job, then that’ll be really, really good.  But I’m not looking forward to it.  If I don’t get this job, then I guess I’m looking forward to depression.  Yay.

Bonus: Tell me something good

I’m still here.  Kittens and puppies are still cute with a high degree of regularity.  Some things aren’t total crap, I guess.  Yeah, I’m a little ray of sunshine today.

TMI Friday

Because I'm tired after this week. It's been a week. Oh, and blame Hedone, just because I saw hers first.

This week's TMI Tuesday questions are on a subject near and dear to our hearts (and some other body parts, too). It's all about SEX!...Yes, again.

1. What is your sexual personality?

I'm a bit of a swing; I can be quite demanding and dominant, depending on how hard-up I am, or I can really just want to be taken. Sometimes when I'm the most desperate, I want to be ravaged rather than initiating. It depends on my mood too; sometimes I want to mark my territory, as it were, and sometimes I want to be marked. My adventurousness comes out at different times too. I guess my sexual personality is schizoid.

2. How many times have you sneaked away from party guests to have sex in another part of the party venue. Where did you sneak to? Were you ever caught?

Oh, I've done this plenty. I used to sneak out of parties my parents had at our house to go have sex with Mike. There's really nothing like the feeling of knowing that downstairs all the adults are just talking about normal PTA stuff, and you're upstairs with your brother's cock jammed in your ass. I'm not saying that risk is my favorite aphrodisiac, but it's a good one, and there's really nothing like it. But I've done it elsewhere too; hell, there are probably plenty of stories I've already told which would fall into this category. I've sneaked away for sexy fun times often enough that you'd think I would have gotten caught, but really, I've never been "caught" per se, although I've been walked in on.

3. Your sex partner that you are mad crazy for has requested you do one of the following, which one would you grant consent to do:

1. Bondage/light restraint with your hands, legs tied while having sex
2. A sexual spanking that leaves light marks
3. Record the two of you having sex
4. Have sex in a mirrored room where you can see yourselves having sex from every angle

I'd do any of those, although I might not do them for my own enjoyment. I'm just not that into spanking. But I could even enjoy that in the right circumstances.

4. Do you act out your sexual fantasies? Why?

Some of them. I think a line has to be drawn between fantasies that one would like to make reality, or a wish list, and fantasies which one wants to keep fantasy, like a list of fiction one likes to read. Getting things from a wish list is always fun. Getting things from fiction... well, I enjoyed The Hunger Games, but I don't want it to happen to me, no matter how romantic parts of it were. Just for instance.

5. How important is sex in your life?

Pretty damn important. Maybe too important sometimes. I don't mean that as a mark against sex; sometimes, it's not as important as other things.

Bonus: Finish the following phrase: "Sex is..."

Sex is a natural, enjoyable part of life that everyone takes entirely too seriously.

TMI Am Not Terribly Hardcore, Apparently

I'm eventually going to get bored with making plays on "TMI." I hope. Blame Advizor because I saw it there first. His answers are much better than mine.

1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?

No idea how to pick a lock. Well, actually, I have an idea of the theory of it, but if you gave me a set of professional lock picks and told me to go at it, I'd still be locked out next year. I'm not sure what I'd do with the skill if I had it; I'm not a super-spy or anything.

2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?

I know how to open a rotary combination lock... sometimes. I don't know how to open one without the combination, which is probably the question being asked here. Again, not a yegg (which means safe-cracker for those of you who aren't from the 1930s) so I'm not sure what I'd do with the skill if I had it. I don't move in circles with a lot of safes anyway. It would have been handy when I was in high school and wanted to get into my locker when I forgot the combination though.

3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?

I made a copy of a key once that I wasn't authorized to do, but it wasn't exactly illicit; I just was sick of borrowing the key. And my derived access wasn't unauthorized, per se. It was just that maybe I could have kept using the key after I was supposed to, and maybe I wasn't supposed to have a copy, although I was allowed to have the key. I didn't do anything interesting with it though. Yay boring me!

4. Have you ever stolen or guessed a password? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What did you do?

Why would you steal or guess a password to gain authorized access? I've never done anything interesting in this category either.

5. Do you know how to get data from a computer that requires a password you don’t know?

Why yes I do. It's surprisingly easy to get data off a hard drive if people don't bother to encrypt it. Most people don't. But I've never used this skill for evil; actually, I've used it for good a number of times when computers have crashed. Boring boring boring.

6. Do you know how to record a telephone call? Have you ever done so secretly? Did you hear anything interesting?

I know how, but I've never done it because I don't care.

7. Have you ever used a webcam or nanny cam to photograph someone secretly?

Nope, although I've been the object of this particular illicit activity.

8. Have you ever used an infrared camera to photograph someone secretly in the dark?

Yeah, I can afford an infrared camera.

9. Have you ever learned anything important by deliberate eavesdropping?

Yes. Nothing exciting though. Well, nothing exciting enough to blog about.

10. Do you know how to hot-wire a car?

No. I know dick about cars.

Bonus: Have you ever been paid for your sexual skills? What skill(s) did you perform?

Why yes I have. I won't say it was the high point of my life, actually.

Okay, really boring. Why did I bother to answer these questions? I was once caught after quite an extended period of shoplifting food from the school cafeteria, a thing I still feel guilty about, and I've been pulled over a few times for various infractions. But I'm essentially a law-abiding person.

Less Intimate Discussion

Continuing in the same style (dialogue and in media res) but a different vein than the previous snippet of conversation (and apologies to anyone who either wanted to hear more about our fantasies or much, much less, and don't be ashamed to fall into either camp):

SVETA: How about a house?

LEXI: If I could afford one.

SVETA: City or country?

LEXI: Country. Well, small town, maybe even outskirts of a small city. But I couldn't live in New York, for instance.

SVETA: Not even to work on Broadway?

LEXI: If I were offered a job on Broadway, I might consider it. But really, being a technician on Broadway is just a higher stress job, not really that much cooler. Okay, a little cooler. But I like what I do. I just wish I got paid more.

SVETA: Me too.

LEXI: Yeah.

SVETA: But a house. Not an apartment.

LEXI: Isn't that the American dream?

SVETA: I thought the American dream was cultural hegemony.

LEXI: Look who's got the big ol' mouth on her.

SVETA: I had to look up how to spell it.

LEXI: Lies. You're in college; you're expected to talk like that.

SVETA: I've never lived in an apartment. It might be fun.

LEXI: Not really.

SVETA: Okay. But cheaper.

LEXI: If I could cover the down payment, I'd have a mortgage instead of rent.

[Here the conversation devolved into crap about the economy, which I don't get anyway.]

LEXI: So, I know I've asked this before, but now that you've had more experience, what's your favorite position?

SVETA: That was a smooth transition. I assume you're going to edit it so it seems seamless.

LEXI: Yeah. [Oh, I lied so much didn't I?]

SVETA: I like it from behind.

LEXI: Why?

SVETA: It feels best that way. I don't know.

LEXI: Fair choice. I'm sticking with my original answer, Alex.

SVETA: You're boring.

LEXI: Can I help that missionary is the best position?

SVETA: You're wrong too.

LEXI: Still want to try DP?

SVETA: Yeah. I mean, absolutely. The first time was... interesting. But I think I'm ready for it now.

LEXI: My first time was pretty intense too. I think I felt like I was going to split in two.

SVETA: I'm so glad we shared the same cocks our first time.

LEXI: Yeah.

[Pause for the sweetness of that moment to sink in.]

LEXI: How about whipped cream?

SVETA: Again with the non sequitors. You'll give them whiplash.

LEXI: So what.

SVETA: Whipped cream? On pie?

LEXI: Sure.

SVETA: Okay.

LEXI: No, you dope. I meant as a decoration. For your cute little pussy.

SVETA: Do you have some?

LEXI: I could get some.

SVETA: Throw in a cherry and you've got a deal.

[We never did get the whipped cream though.]

LEXI: What do you like in porn?

SVETA: Big breasts.

LEXI: Interesting. Mine aren't big enough?

SVETA: It's not what I want for you. I want big boobs in porn because they look good in porn. In real life, I like your breasts.

LEXI: I'm fond of yours too. So the lady has to have big knockers. What kind of action?

SVETA: Basic. Romantic if possible. I know it's fake; I just like to see a little passion. Nothing weird.

LEXI: Nothing weird? But that's half the fun of porn.

SVETA: I guess I'm not jaded with the basic stuff yet. I don't look at that much of it.

LEXI: Good. Best to keep it that way. Not that I hate porn, but it's better to dip in rather than become addicted.

SVETA: Speaking from experience?

LEXI: A little.

And there we'll leave this installment. Maybe more later. Who knows. I might get bored. Or I might actually find the emotional and mental energy to write something better. I'm just really tired at the moment.

Discuss Amongst Yourselves

Sveta and I recently had a rambling discussion in text about various different things, and after some cleaning and editing and so forth, it seemed like something worth posting. Maybe it isn't, but hey, you're getting it anyway. I know you'd rather have more pictures of Sveta's naked ass. Wouldn't we all? We'll start in media res, as it were, because the beginning was just sort of rambling and unfocused.

LEXI: So, how about marriage?

SVETA: To you?

LEXI: To anyone.

SVETA: I guess so. Not now, but I could see it.

LEXI: To me?

SVETA: Couldn't I marry your Dad?

LEXI: He's taken, and if he ever becomes polygamous, I'm next in line.

SVETA: You can't unless they legalize incestuous marriage too.

LEXI: You'd really want to marry my Dad?

SVETA: No, not really. I like having him as my Dad too much.

LEXI: So you don't want to marry me?

SVETA: Are we being serious?

LEXI: Not really.

SVETA: Would you marry me?

LEXI: I'd think seriously about it. I'm not sure I'm the marrying kind, but I might marry you. I love you enough.

SVETA: Aw, stop it. You'll make me blush.

LEXI: You're cute when you blush.

SVETA: How about kids? Do you ever want to have kids?

LEXI: Yes.

SVETA: You didn't think very long about that answer.

LEXI: You don't?

SVETA: I do.

LEXI: Really?

SVETA: Hell yeah. I'm kind of baby crazy right now. Thank goodness I'm not around anyone with babies or I might steal them.

LEXI: But you want one of your own, right? Not to adopt.

SVETA: Yeah.

LEXI: I have to admit, the thought of you pregnant really turns me on.

SVETA: Me too. {There is a pause while we both picture Sveta pregnant; feel free to join in if that turns you on] Who would you like to be the father, if we were married?

LEXI: You mean which of us should wear the pants?

SVETA: No, stupid. I mean who should the father be. I can't see you going for artificial insemination.

LEXI: No, even if I decided that some random guy should be the father, I'd want to receive the donation firsthand, if you know what I mean.

SVETA: Duh.

LEXI: Don't sass me, girl.

SVETA: So who?

LEXI: In the ideal world, either Dad or Mike, actually.

SVETA: Oh.

LEXI: Does that freak you out?

SVETA: No. [Giggles] I was going to say the same thing. Mostly Dad though.

LEXI: It'd be a bit easier for you.

SVETA: Do you think he'd go for it, if we asked him?

LEXI: Probably not with me, but with you, maybe. Mike would knock either of us up in a shot. He's into that too. He once got Sheri pregnant. Mom and Dad didn't really approve. But they might not mind if we wanted a baby and you were having it and it was Mike's.

SVETA: I like Mike, but I really wish it were your Dad.

LEXI: Aside from family though, I'd want to find someone right. Either that, or someone random. I'm not sure if I'd want to get pregnant by a friend who might feel guilty.

SVETA: God, now I'm picturing you pregnant. We could both be pregnant at the same time.

LEXI: No way; I want one of us to be sane if the other is going to go crazy with hormones. One at a time. Although both of us pregnant would be super hot.

SVETA: Yeah.

And there I'll leave it for the moment, because we moved on to other topics, which I might share later. Don't want to get too long-winded though. Marriage and children seem to go together; if I introduce popcorn flavors or favorite movies, it'd spoil the narrative flow.

Bet You

"Bet you won't."

"Bet I will."

"Won't."

"Will."

"Chicken."

"Oh yeah?"

I stalked back into the common room. "Hey, you, the cute one," I said commandingly. Several heads turned, saw I was pointing at the actual cute one, turned back. He looked around too.

"What?"

"Come here." I was in no mood to be trifled with. He did as I said. "Now, drop your pants." A few heads swiveled back again, drawn by the unmistakable sound of those words. He hesitated. "Come on, I have a bet."

At my school, "I have a bet," was basically your get-out-of-jail-free pass. Not that it would work on the administration or security, but if you said it to a fellow student, as long as you had a track record of telling the truth, they'd pretty much have to go along with you. And I had a track record of scrupulous honesty. Plus people knew that I wouldn't back down from a bet. Plus, and this may have been the biggest point in my favor, my bets tended to be of the sexual variety.

More heads swiveled, and a few hoots and hollers erupted as he dropped his pants, not without reluctance and a little self-consciousness. I knew his name, had spoken to him a few times, but not enough to warrant a proposition. Maybe he was afraid I was just going to point and laugh. I wasn't; his cock wasn't enormous, but it wasn't hard either. I aimed to change that.

The hoots grew louder as I began licking his cock, from the base up the shaft to the tip. Nerves may have kept him soft for a moment, but not for long, and pretty soon he was smiling in spite of himself, his head bobbing in and out of my mouth. The party had resumed around us; it wasn't that strange to have a bit of head going on at one of our parties. But some people were watching, jealous or turned on or both.

When he came, I gathered as much of it in my mouth as I could and grinned, then sauntered off. "Here," I said, giving Gwen a sloppy kiss and passing the cum to her, still warm and wriggling. "Told you," I said with a smirk.

She swallowed and grinned. "Bet you won't do it again... with the blonde guy in the corner there."

Random Fiction - No Billygoat Gruff

Grog lived under the bridge between two meadows, but unlike his cousin who had had an unfortunate run-in with goats some years back, Grog was cautious. He had the filthy pelts of numerous woodland creatures, magical and mundane, to prove it. But of late his larder was bare, probably because even stupid woodland creatures got wind of a troll under the bridge eventually.

So when Grog heard footsteps, he played it cool. No reason to scare off his dinner. When he finally peaked over the side, there was something he hadn't expected: a faerie, eyes closed, lip trembling. Grog couldn't help but notice that she was also totally naked, her wings sparkling in the late afternoon sun.

It had been a long time since Grog had seen a female troll, and while this faerie was much too clean, much too hairless, and much too slim to be truly attractive, Grog wasn't going to be choosy, not when this sort of opportunity dropped into his lap. He leaped out and grabbed her around the waist.

"Hoho," he said in his most menacing voice. "What have we here?"

"Please just do it and get it over with," whimpered the faerie, eyes still closed. "Please."

Grog was taken aback. "Nope, no tricks," he said. "I'm not listening."

"No tricks. Just do it."

Grog didn't even have to drag her back to his lair; she bent over in the grass and put her head down. What was going on?

But still, the sight of her pert backside made Grog hungry for things other than billygoats. His cock was enormous, as befitted a troll, and it rose to hardness immediately, so he tossed aside the filthy loincloth and gripped the sylph's slim hips, directing his trollhood into her tight, hot passage. He grunted and thrust, caring little for her comfort, but he could have sworn he heard her sigh with happiness.

Grog was cautious, but not when his cock was demanding release, not when a seemingly willing cunt was taking all he could throw at it. He thrust and thrust, and he didn't even notice when the sword point made its own thrust through his heart. He collapsed in a puddle of blood, and his last thought was wondering just what had happened.

"You could have let him finish," scowled the faerie, climbing from her knees and turning to look the hero in the eye.

"I hate sloppy seconds," said the hero, his pants already down, his own cock, hardly a troll's but still impressive, jutting out like his sword. "In fact, I think with all that pounding that the only thing worth fucking on you today will be your ass."

And the sylph was happy to oblige, even as she idly wished that her hero would occasionally let her feel the hot blasts of troll cum she craved.

TMI Love Hate Guilt

Yeah, so I'm a day late and more than a buck short. But what are you going to do?

1. Food

I love: a lot of foods, many of which I've discussed previously. Foods of all different cultures. Chocolate. Bacon. Red meat. I suppose that last one should be a guilty secret, but...

I hate: Lima beans. Pretty much hate Brussels sprouts too.

My guilty secret is: I don't like ice cream much. I'll eat it, but I don't really like it.

2. Apparel

I love: Sun dresses, cute blouses, underwear of all sorts.

I hate: Empire waistlines. Either you look like a little girl or pregnant or both, and while that might at first glance sound sexy, it isn't.

My guilty secret is: I like clothes that I say are trampy. Because I'm supposed to be classier than that. Except I like them, secretly.

3. Books

I love: Fantasy, some Sci-Fi, Russian lit, and a lot of other books.

I hate: Books on economics, modern American lit for the most part, and other scattered things, but I have a difficult time hating any broad category of books.

My guilty secret is: I read computer books for fun. Also, RPG books. I don't know why, but I hide those facts from everyone.

4. Songs

I love: Nirvana (and I'm saying just that because I like a lot of things and also because it was the anniversary the other day).

I hate: most music of the eighties, hipster crap.

My guilty secret is: I like a lot of hard rock/metal. Not everything. But things I'm slightly ashamed of liking.

5. Movies

I love: Many things. Too many to list.

I hate: Also many things. Judd Apatow comes to mind (yep, that's right, I said it). Also, lousy adaptations of the books of my childhood.

My guilty secret is: I like crappy comedies. Not "good" crappy comedies, but the terrible ones. I actually enjoyed You Don't Mess With the Zohan. God help me.

6. TV Shows

I love: Futurama, South Park, the Simpsons up to a point, The Brak Show, Squidbillies... basically, a lot of comedy animation.

I hate: The Office. Reality TV shows. A lot of other shows.

My guilty secret is: I'm not particularly guilty about it, but I do watch a number of terrible Sci-Fi (no, wait, now it's SyFy) Channel shows.

7. Celebrity Crush

I love: Hugh Jackman. Off the top of my head.

I hate: Jim Carrey (although I liked him in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for the most part).

My guilty secret is: I would fuck Keanu Reeves' brains out if he asked me. He's an awful actor, but I'd still fuck him. I don't have a crush on him, and I wouldn't go out of my way, but if the opportunity arose... so if he's reading this, give me a call.

8. Music Group

I love: Nirvana (again).

I hate: many acts.

My guilty secret is: Twisted Sister's Christmas album is the greatest thing ever.

9. Sports Team

I love: I don't love sports teams. I'm a fan of a few of them, mostly for no good reason.

I hate: Texas teams. Sorry folks from Texas, it's like the family religion. Also, Boston teams. Basketball teams in general, March Madness in particular. Golf. The Yankees (family religion again). Sports fans who can't get a grip and realize that it's just a goddamn game.

My guilty secret is: I do watch sports. I guess that's a guilty secret for me.

Bonus: Sex Position or Sex Act or fetish

I love: Penetration, creampies, anal.

I hate: Ass-to-mouth, analingus of any sort, being called names during the act.

My guilty secret is: rape fantasies and various other dark things actually turn me on, though I don't want them to.

There you have it.

Panties Again

Sveta bought me a pair of panties which I wasn't sure I was going to like; they're a cut I don't normally wear, the name of which I didn't even know (I'd never heard of "tanga" panties, but I lead a sheltered life). But after I tried them on, I may switch because not only are they super-comfortable, they also make my ass look amazing. No, I don't have any pictures to prove it at the moment. But they make me enjoy lace in a way I didn't before.

Have I mentioned that I like panties? God, I wish I had all sorts of money so I could go out and replace all my worn-out panties with this new style. They look pretty cute in basic cotton too, but the lace is amazing. Anyway, this was the best picture I could find of something similar. Enjoy.

Aren't those cute? I'm feeling incredibly girly right now, just so you know.

Oops

Just walked in on Sveta getting railed by some guy I've never seen before. I'm so proud of her; I didn't even know it was in the cards. They both looked up, the guy looking a little shocked, Sveta looking breathless. I know most of you are probably wondering how I'm typing this when I'm obviously involved in a threesome right now, but actually, I just said, "Sorry, I'll come back later," and left. Well, I ogled for a moment. Seeing Sveta getting fucked... I know it makes me pervy, but it turns me on. She was on her hands and knees, well really more her knees with her head down on a pillow, and his cock was buried inside her.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm robbing Sveta of the opportunity to be on her own in college a little. I mean, I felt that way before, and now I'm there all the time. She doesn't need me hovering. I care about her, and I want her to be safe and happy, but I also want her to be able to have a college experience which includes some youthful vigor, without me looking over her shoulder. I want her to be able to hook up with guys for a quick evening fuck. I want her to go to parties and have some crazy fun. Sure, I also want to cling to her like crazy, and I want to storm back into the room and demand that the guy be good to her, and make sure he's wearing a condom, and all that crap. But I have to let her make her own decisions.

And now I feel like her mother, which I'm not. I'm her lover and friend, and while some of her decisions have an impact on my life too, I need to let her make them and trust her. Because I'm not her mother. I feel old enough to be sometimes, but I'm not.

I'm really horny though. Seeing them just made me want to find some guy of my own. And it made me feel hypocritical and old. Yay. Ah well. I hope she's having a good time.

We'll be going home for Easter, and may not be online at all because we'll have better things to do. I really hope Mike decides to show up, or Sheri. Mari... well, I'd love it, but it's not going to happen. But Happy Easter if you celebrate it, or happy springtime holiday day if you don't, or happy normal day if you refuse to even think of it as anything special.

Random Fiction - Jealousy

When Marcus slapped my face with his cock, I came to the realization that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea. What was Samantha doing back there anyway? But I couldn't stop now, not with my cunt aching for rough thrusts.

Sure, it had seemed like fun when Samantha and Marcus asked if they could watch us. David said he was game, and I didn't take too much convincing. After all, what were friends for? I remembered wondering vaguely, as David shucked his pants, if we'd get to watch them, and whether I'd enjoy that.

But now... well, I wasn't sure. Not that I minded Marcus' cock. Even when he came around behind me and started pressing into my ass, which I wasn't expecting, I didn't mind. I liked it. But if Samantha was doing what I thought she was doing, then we'd have problems.

David was mine. She had no right to touch him. "Get your hands off him, bitch!" I almost screamed. And they all just laughed. David laughed hardest. And I knew that he wasn't mine any more. Maybe ours, but not mine.

---

This was completely not the way I was meaning to take it. The story went off the rails at a certain point. She just had a look in her eye which suggested that she wasn't paying as much attention to herself as to what those hands were doing behind her back. I'd like to think that our heroine got over it, and maybe the happy foursome continued in a lighter vein. After all, she doesn't seem to mind sharing herself.

But people are weird. I get jealous about some things which are horribly hypocritical myself. I try not to let the jealousy get the best of me, but I admit a certain jealousy about sharing certain people, even when I'm in the room, even when I'm next in line to share and be shared. I imagine that my lovers are the same way.

Anyway, I hope PB is alright, but as there was no official FFF this week, this'll be my contribution to the blogosphere.

TMI Wednesday

You know why? Because I can. Blame Advizor's blog for being the first one I saw with these questions, but other people have played too. And I snipped the multiple choice answers because they're not as interesting as just being free-form.

1. What makes you hot?

All sorts of things. My brother. My sisters. My dad. Sveta. Watching Thom and Jodie. Thinking about getting Jodie involved with Thom and me and Sveta. Virginity of all stripes. Innocence, not lost but maybe naughtied up a little. Group sex. Cum inside me. I could go on.

2. What is it that you want, when you look at porn?

Often enough, I just want to cum while looking at fun pictures or videos. I need a lot of orgasms, more than any partner could hope to give me even if he or she were the best ever, so sometimes I just want to cum. A lot of the time, I want to rev my motor up so I can be super wet for my sweetie. Sometimes we watch together, either to rev each other, or to get sexy ideas. It can be sexy just to watch porn with someone else. Occasionally, I like to look at porn because it feeds my fantasy life, fantasies that I don't want to make reality but which are still fun to think about.

3. You’ve been asked to be a part of a porn movie production. Which job will you do? Why did you select that?

Can I be an auteur? I think I could write and star in a porno, and with a bit of practice I could direct too. No, my ego isn't huge. Either that, or I'd want to be completely out of control, be just told what to do and do it. I don't mind taking direction. But I'm not sure I really want to do porn anyway; watching is fun, but being a part of it might kill the joy.

4. Right this very moment you are horny and are looking for a casual hookup for sex. Under which heading would you place your ad?

Female up for pretty much anything. Taking all applications. Please take a number and have a seat and I'll be with you shortly. That, at any rate, is what I'd do if I were looking for a casual hookup.

5. From now on, ’til the end of time you will be able to experience sexual pleasure via a single method. Choose that method. Why did you make that choice?

I love anal, and I love oral, and I love pretty much all kinds of pleasure, but I'd have to say that vaginal penetration, with a creampie at the end, is still my favorite. Call me old-fashioned, but that's what my pussy was made for. That and babies. Shut up, biological clock.

Bonus: What’s the sexiest thing you did this past weekend? Got any pics or a vid?

Oh, sex was had, but nothing particularly noteworthy. It was wonderful, but I've got nothing to say about it that I feel like sharing. I don't mind being private about some things.

Because I Couldn't Leave it There

As a thank you for listening to me ramble in the last post, or because I was keyed into blowjobs, accept the following pictures from my family album.

Here's one. The quality isn't great because it's old and scanned rather than digital. Normally I'm not a huge fan of being held by the head or hair while I give a guy a blowjob; it restricts my movement and puts him in control when part of the enjoyment for me is the control. But in this case, there was a good reason; my hair was in the way of the shot. Yes, it's posed rather than candid, but it was candid after the pictures were taken. My family has taken some "porno" pictures as well as just candid snapshots; sometimes Mike, Sheri, and I liked to do "porno" shoots when we were younger.

Here's another more recent offering. Mike's handiwork, I believe. Both the picture and the cum on my curled tongue. I wanted him to have a memento of a visit. He still has the original.

Head

I said in the last post that I missed giving head for the sake of it, and that's true. I'm not sure why, and I'm not totally sure when I stopped doing it as much. Maybe because I enjoy penetration and creampies so much, I stopped blowing guys just to give them a blowjob, but did it to get them ready to fuck me. Most recently, Dad has required a certain amount of oral action to get it up at all, and I'm not going to waste my dad's erection. I don't know.

And now I'm not sure I can get back into it. Part of the reason is the above; I don't want to waste an orgasm on anything but my cunt. That's brutal economics here. Plus, I have fewer opportunities to just give someone a meaningless blowjob. Usually, if I'm going to blow somebody these days, I'm invested enough in it that I want to fuck them.

I may not miss blowjobs as much as I miss the titillation of random blowjobs. Not totally random, but blowjobs which were just spur-of-the-moment, with guys who were pretty much strangers. Not that I'm some kind of blowjob fairy or anything, but I did give a few blowjobs to guys in my day.

When I was young, that was pretty much the only way to get play from most guys. It was almost expected in my school; you went on a date, if you liked the guy you might give him a handjob, if you really liked him and wanted to see him again you gave him head, or (and this doesn't make me proud, but it's true) you gave him head because you wanted him to like you because he was popular, or because he could do something for you. Yes, high schoolers trade sex for favors. It's not pleasant. In my case, it wasn't as bad because I didn't really view sex as some big deal, but for other girls, it really messed them up.

Also, nobody fucked on the first date. Maybe Sheri (I love her, but she was widely regarded as the school bicycle) but not even me. There were rules. Unwritten, confusing, and contradictory, but you were really loose if you gave up the poonanner on the first date. But if you wanted to fuck, you'd have to blow the guy on the first date, unless he was a total loser.

It's making me slightly annoyed to talk about this, because I really hate high school and I find the whole thing ridiculous. But even I, iconoclast though I was, had to follow some rules because the guys followed them. Even if I were just trying to steal a guy away from some popular bitch to prove a point or make her miserable (not proud, but it happened once) I still had to abide by some rules.

And of course, in middle school, boys didn't have sex. I might be able to get a boy to let me touch his cock, but he wasn't about to fuck me, mostly because most boys that age, at least in my school, hadn't the first idea of what to actually do. I'm pretty sure they would have tried to fuck my belly button, given the chance. But I could get blowjobs out of them sometimes.

And, let's be honest, sometimes I would give head because I was just being friendly. Like I said, it didn't matter that much to me. I didn't feel dirty about it; it was something I did, like kissing. Not for everyone, but it was friendly.

In college, I had a tougher time. I know that sometimes I make my college experience out to be some wild party, and it wasn't, but it also was a tough time in my life. I was rebelling against things, I was doing really stupid things, I was basically not giving a shit. And I wasn't even doing it in a structured way, the way Sheri does it. She's wild and crazy, but she's not doing it to run from something. She likes doing things, and she doesn't care about propriety, but it's not unhealthy for her, at least not as unhealthy as it was for me.

So yes, I gave anonymous blowjobs. Not glory hole, but I would meet a guy at a party, take him to a quiet place, and suck him off for no reason other than that I wanted to taste his cum right then. And then I might never see him again, or at least not see him socially. And the strange part is, I miss that. Maybe I'm feeling depressed about life again. Or maybe it's just the thrill of it.

I've never been that into bukkakke, but I do like a circle of cocks, waiting to be sucked. Not that it was a regular occurrence, but it happened a few times when parties got drunk enough. I remember staggering home one night, reeking of sweat, vodka, and jism, and only later realizing that I didn't have any clothes on. I hadn't fucked anyone, but I guess I didn't want to make a mess. My tits were covered in cum. I'm pretty sure that at least five guys had let me suck them off onto my chest, and I know that there was a cheering section. And despite that being a really, really bad idea and self-destructive and all that, I think about it and get turned on.

I like the taste of cum. I always have. I still think that I could have happily sucked Dad off even before I was allowed to have sex, and it might have made the waiting more bearable. But as the years went by, I just liked cum inside me more and more, to the point where that's pretty much all I want now.

I guess it's like erogenous zones though. Foreplay can't just be about tits and pussy. If you concentrate on one pleasure center, eventually you'll wear it out. So I think that I'll enjoy blowjobs more. Maybe give more of them to people I'm not planning on fucking. Just be friendly.

This was a ramble through various things, not all of them completely pleasant, but thanks for sticking with me, if you did.

Random Fiction - Wanted and Had

Wanted

They caught the young fugitive after a harrowing chase through the fields. She was panting as Bill sat on her, hog-tied her, and pulled her to her feet. "You're coming with us," he said.

Karen gave him a strange look, standing at his side, watching the proceedings unfold. The fugitive strained against the bonds futilely, worn out from the pursuit. And Bill realized that he was gripping a very attractive, very naked woman, fugitive or no. "Special treatment?" he asked his wife hopefully.

"Special treatment," Karen nodded with a smile.

And maybe it was Bill's imagination, but their captive seemed to relax in his arms. Maybe she was just too tired to resist. Or maybe she felt the swelling of Bill's cock in her back and wanted more.

There was no reason to hurry her back to jail. They left her tied and went to the truck to get something, anything, to play with. Finally they settled on a beer bottle. Bill loved seeing his wife stroke the tied girl's slit, then slide the neck of the bottle into her, which made the teen wince and squirm away, then sink down with a muffled sigh and grunt. Bill held her up while his wife slowly worked their captive into a frenzy, his wife's hand sometimes straying to stroke her captive's breast or her own.

Then, still tied, the teen was bent over the bed of the truck, and Karen nodded and held her down. The fugitive seemed to know what was coming, and she didn't resist, didn't say a word as Bill's hard cock speared her. She was still tight, even after being reamed with the bottle, and Bill found himself close in a heartbeat.

"Inside me, please," begged the teen beneath him, panting, the first words she'd spoken. Bill's wife smiled and nodded. And who was he to refuse? He thrust a few more times into the delightful warm wetness, and then he gripped the teenage hips and spent himself inside her, until it felt like cum was all around him. She sighed beneath him.

Even after, when they'd told the girl that they were letting her go, that she could run away and they wouldn't chase her, she stayed. And she refused to be untied. Even as Bill fucked her again, even as Karen sat on her face, the captive stayed bound, if not by law, then by lust.

---

Had

Bill and Karen both looked at each other, shocked. Neither had intended to overhear their teen daughter's conversation, but they had been walking past her room and couldn't help but hear. "I just can't cum. No matter how hard I try," Gretchen said into the phone, in hushed tones. "I've tried everything you said. I really want to." Bill turned away, red as a beet, and Karen pushed him down the hall.

"God, what a conversation to walk past," Bill said shakily.

"The poor thing," said Karen, almost at the same moment.

"What?" Bill asked, perhaps more shocked now than he had been before.

"Come on Bill, you know how much I love getting off. I bet Gretch would love it too."

Bill stared for a moment, then he nodded. "Yeah, okay, the poor thing," he said, finally.

"The thing I don't understand is why she can't," said Karen, musing as she pulled her shirt off, almost absently. Bill watched his wife talk to herself and strip. "I mean, I'm practically on a hair trigger. I wonder what she's tried."

They made love. Bill wasn't expecting it, the middle of the day, talking about their daughter. They tried to muffle their noises, to keep Gretchen and her friend from hearing. Karen seemed insatiable. But finally, in the afterglow, she curled around Bill, sweaty and happy, and whispered, "We should teach her."

Nothing more was said. Nothing more needed to be said. Bill was no longer shocked.

That Saturday, the family went for a picnic to a secluded spot, and Karen said, "Gretch, your father and I want to make you cum." Just like that. Bill expected an outburst, but Gretchen just blushed a little and nodded. "I think you need to be restrained, so you won't do anything you shouldn't," said Karen, and again, Gretchen just nodded. "Gretch, get naked. Bill, tie her up and hold her. Mommy's going to show her just what to do."

Bill was shocked, but he found himself doing as his wife commanded, His little girl. Naked. Bound. His hands were on her. And heaven help him, he was getting turned on. Karen clearly was too, as she slipped her blouse down a little, showing she had no bra on and her nipples were hard as steel.

But her mother's skilled hands and a vibrator still didn't make Gretchen cum. Bill even found himself stroking his daughter's naked flesh, all thoughts but sex gone from his head. Gretchen cried out, writhed, tensed, but still, no orgasm. "Bill," Karen said to him, in the same normal tone she always used, notwithstanding that she was running a large vibrator in and out of her daughter's drenched pussy. "Bill, I think she needs you."

"Me?"

"Yes, please Daddy," begged Gretchen, moaning. "Please."

Bill felt his pants pulled down by his wife, his hard cock jutting out as Karen grabbed it and guided it without comment into Gretchen's wet space. "Oh yes!" Gretchen moaned, and Bill found himself moaning too.

And then he felt her cum on him, and he couldn't stop himself or move, and he spurted hot seed into his daughter's spasming pussy.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me to hold out," said his daughter's weak voice, as if from a great distance. "I thought I was going to cum a million times. Thank God you're good at keeping me in check."

"Was it worth it?" That was Karen. What were they talking about. Bill was a million miles away, his still-hard cock in something warm. Something very warm which sounded like his daughter. But that couldn't be, could it?

"God yes." Nope, that was definitely Gretchen. He opened his eyes, and it wasn't a dream. They were in a field, and Gretchen was sitting on his cock, and she was tied up, and Karen was smiling at him.

"Welcome back," she said, kissing him long and hard.

"Yeah, welcome back Daddy," said Gretchen, squirming around to face him and giving him a decidedly un-daughterly kiss. "You were wonderful, although next time I'll expect a bit more stamina."

"What?" Bill was almost ready to faint, except that he felt so good.

"Silly, Mom and me worked this all out," said Gretchen. "What, you think I talk about cumming with my friends? Come on. With Mom's genes, I've been cumming since I was old enough to walk."

"Well, maybe a little older than that," laughed Karen.

"So this was all a setup?"

"Call it an awakening," said Karen, putting her arm around Gretchen's still-bound shoulders, and mother and daughter smiled and waited for Bill to figure it out. And he did, with a bit of help.

---

There may be FFF this week, but I haven't heard about it, so I wrote this instead. I'm not usually that into bondage, but this one seemed... a little less about the bondage and more about something else. Maybe the two older figures are raping the girl, but it didn't look like it to me. She looked impassioned, not imperiled.

I meant to write the second story, but then the first one came to me and I wrote it. I don't think the two are related, but maybe they are. I used the same names because I could, not because I was attempting to draw some parallel. Different universes, same people? I don't really know or care. Just two fun stories.

If there isn't a FFF this week, feel free to steal this picture and use it for whatever challenge you like. I had to look a bit for a good one this week; the random spinner kept giving me uninspiring material. But then I hit this one, and it was clearly inspiring, even if it's not the greatest picture ever.

Watching is Fun, if Frustrating

Yesterday's post barely deserved to be regarded as one, but I was having a bad day and I was sick and tired of Blogger's idiocy. I wish I had the money to pay for this blog to be on its own server or something. But I don't.

Anyway, today's post will be somewhat less of a crap-fest.

I finally got to see Jodie and Thom fuck. Woohoo!

Sveta was in class and I was killing time in her room with Jodie. Jodie said, "Just got a text from Thom; he's in the area and wanted to stop by, but I've got class in a bit too. Can he hang out with you for a while?" Like she even needed to ask.

She left just before he knocked at the door. I blew him a kiss from where I was sitting, and he sat down next to me. We chatted. It was nice to talk to him one on one; not that I begrudge the young 'uns or anything, but honestly... I've been feeling incredibly self-conscious about my age and always hanging around in a dorm room. So talking with someone who's closer to me, temporally, was nice. We talked about various things before the conversation moved into the sexual, and Thom is much, much less shy about talking about sex than Jodie is.

He wanted to know all about Mike, and I told him an edited version. I hadn't told Jodie about my sisters, but I talked with Thom about double-teaming Mike with Sheri (and Mari too, when she wanted to) and Thom was about as jealous as could be, although he was slightly mollified by telling him that, should he ever be in the same room with Sheri and me, we would totally tag-team him too. Which is true. I'm pretty sure that Sheri would be up for fucking just about anyone with me, and Thom's a friend of mine. No, that makes Sheri sound really slutty. She'd do it for me. And also because she'd probably fuck Thom solo, because hey, he's no slouch in the sack and I've fucked him, so she'd want in on that action.

I'm still keeping mum about Mom and Dad's involvement, but I figure it's only a matter of time. Sveta might spill the beans before I do, at least as far as telling Thom and Jodie that she's fucked my dad. She's kind of turned on by that fact, even now.

Then conversation turned to Thom and Jodie, and I got to hear all about Thom's perspective of their relationship, which was nice because it reassured me that, even if it might be a little out-of-balance, power-wise, Thom's not abusing Jodie. He says he wants her to spread her wings a little, although he admitted that he does love the fact that she's exclusive to him. He's not a gadabout either; he's had a few other encounters, but not a huge number, at least not that he's willing to admit to.

I told him that I found the idea of the two siblings fucking to be pretty damn hot, and he agreed and said he was jonesing for a fix of his sister's lovin' notwithstanding his enjoyment of Sveta and me. Which I completely understand; even if I get properly fucked every day by someone who knows what he's doing, I still miss making love with Mike and Dad. So I told Thom that he should get some when Jodie came back, and he said, "Oh, you just want to see my sister naked." Uh, yeah. Did I stutter?

He seemed like he'd be interested more in fucking me than Jodie, and we started making out, but I wouldn't let him get my clothes off. "Save it for Jodie," was my mantra, even when I had his pants down and was sucking his cock. I rarely give head for the sake of it any more, which is something I didn't think I minded, but I guess I miss it more than I thought. I really got into it, teasing him but not letting him cum, until he basically begged me, at which point I said, "Only if you promise to give your sister the next load." What was he going to do? I'm not sorry; she needed it as much as he did.

Since I knew he wasn't going to cum inside me, I was perfectly happy to suck him dry, and he came prodigiously, testament to my skills as a tease I suppose. As I was cleaning him up, Jodie knocked at the door (very politely, although unnecessarily I thought). So my cleanup progressed into rehabilitation, and then I sat back and said, "Okay, now it's your turn."

Jodie didn't know what I meant for a moment, then she blushed, but when Thom said, "Fine," and grinned, Jodie agreed. He never orders her around, but she's pretty obedient anyway. Like I said, not a dynamic with which I am totally and completely comfortable, but it works for them, and until I see evidence otherwise, I just have to assume that it's okay.

I tried to stay unobtrusive without being creepy; I even offered to turn my back for a while or to leave (since I never insisted I get to watch; I just insisted that Thom give his sister a good fuck). But Jodie said, blushing, "No, it's okay, I want you to see." She reminds me a bit of Sveta in the early days. I just sat back and enjoyed.

They wasted very little time getting naked; Jodie's shyness vanished when she looked into her brother's eyes, and it was like I wasn't even there for a while. She's not as pretty as Sveta. I'm not just saying that to please my honey either. Not that Jodie isn't cute, but she's just a little less cute than Sveta. Enormous nipples, wider hips, breasts which droop a little, and a small, thick patch of dark hair between her legs which she obviously trims but doesn't shave. I'd fuck her, I would. But just to give some idea of her looks. Thom looks swarthier than Jodie does; it must be from their mother.

Amusingly enough, once the clothes came off, Thom was actually more self-conscious about it, although he'd never shown an inkling of self-consciousness before. Jodie only had eyes for him; he kept looking around out of the corner of his eye at me. But then, being watched is something which tends to make one self-conscious. It was just interesting that she's the shyer one and didn't care.

Foreplay featured her nipples heavily; she seems to be hyper-sensitive. He pinched and rubbed and sucked, and while he was sucking he slipped a finger between her legs and started fingering too, and pretty soon she was gasping. She moaned, "Oh, brother, I'm going to cum, please make me cum," and then she did. She cums like a little girl; she just sucks in a breath and then shivers a few times before relaxing and breathing out. I could teach her to ride that wave. But that's my ego talking.

Anyway, after she came, he hopped up, licked his fingers (good boy) and flipped her over and was inside her almost before I realized he had moved. If I hadn't sucked him off earlier, I bet he wouldn't have lasted a minute (he was hard up for her, no lie) but instead, I got to see him fucking her. From behind, he was a little rougher, and she moaned a lot, but then he pulled back and she flipped over and I got to see her pussy properly for the first time before he was between her legs again. She has a dark pussy to match her dark nipples, with lips to match the nipples in size. Not sloppy, just lippy. Seeing him slip into her was great; I almost reached down and started playing with myself.

Then she looked over at me, like she was seeing me for the first time, and smiled. "I love my brother," she said, like that was the only thing to say, and I guess it was. He was gentle in missionary, in and out slowly, and they kissed and she said to me, "Doesn't he make you hot?"

I nodded with a smile, and she smiled, and then forgot about me again. A minute later, he whispered something in her ear and pulled out. She looked at him the whole time, right up until she had her lips wrapped around his cock and he was cumming into her mouth, and then she looked at me again, and it was like electricity. She just had this incredibly satisfied, sexual, and yet innocent look. Sexy as hell.

Thom had to leave before Sveta got back; he basically cleaned up and left, Jodie lying on her bed naked and happy, me pent up and wishing he could stay and fuck me. Needless to say, Sveta was crushed that she'd missed the show for about five seconds after she walked through the door, until I grabbed her and basically jammed my tongue into her stomach. After the intense lovemaking, which Jodie sat on her bed naked and watched, interested, Sveta went back to wishing she'd been there. Jodie said, "Oh, you'll be there next time."

There are warring parts of me right now: one part would love to get Jodie involved with some other people; the other part doesn't want to force anything and thinks that what she and Thom have is pretty special. For right now, I think watching them, possibly while doing some fun things of our own, is all Sveta and I have planned, but the future is the future, and who knows? If I could just get Mike to visit...

Dear Blogger

I like paragraph tags (they are standards-compliant and they enable me to write HTML that can be styled in fun ways). And I like new features (like the various things you always talk about). Why must you make those two things incompatible? Are you afraid that your users are too stupid to use paragraph tags? Did you forget that they can turn them off themselves?

Love (not really),

Lexi

Sveta Is Nothing If Not Obliging

I believe someone said, when I posted the picture of my ass, that they wanted to see Sveta in the same position, only with no panties. I wasn't prepare to do it, but Sveta insisted. Thank her.

Oh, and for those of you who suspect that we're playacting these parts, that I'm just as enthusiastic about showing off as she is... well, let's just say that I may exaggerate a bit for comic effect, but she's really much more of a photo-taker than I am. Although I took this photo. And then made her stand there while I ate her out sloppily. She tasted like sweet corn. Not a bad thing.

Random Fiction - Leaving

Tara shifted and Tamara winced. “Do you have to go?” Tara asked sleepily.

“You know I do.” Tamara shifted the garters, still naked save for stockings. Damn, she had hoped to get out without waking her sister.

“Couldn’t you just stay here with me?” Tamara winced again. Tara had a way of making that proposition extremely tempting. Even now, she was shifting, as if unconsciously, her flesh coming into view. Tamara could see the love bites from last night.

“It’s a job. We need the money.” But it wasn’t just a job. It was something more.

Turning tricks had always been Tamara’s job. Tara wasn’t suited to the life of a whore; she was too fragile, too easily hurt. And too easily in love. And Tamara wanted her sister only in love with one person: Tamara. “I won’t be gone long. My regular Friday client offered to pay double if I’d let a friend join in.”

“You’ll do that?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep food on the table.” Tamara made it sound like a hardship, when she was looking forward to it. Her Friday client was good to her, and the prospect of two cocks sliding into her made her wet just to think about it. “It’s not so bad. You’d probably like it.”

“No,” sighed Tara, turning away. “You know how I feel about that.” And that was just it. Tamara knew exactly how her sister felt about it. “Kiss me before you go,” Tara pleaded, suddenly childlike and hurt-looking, and Tamara couldn’t refuse.

She was late for her client and had to make up for it in ways she hadn’t expected. And the whole time, she thought of her twin sister at home, the love of her life, the anchor around her neck.

---

This started out being sexier than it wound up being. I have experience with having to get up and leave someone I love lying there, wishing I could stay. But I don't resent it in the way Tamara seems to. I guess I was exploring that resentment, that love and hate. Plus whores. Yay.

I would have played FFF this week had I known that there was a substitute host, but I didn't, so I didn't. Still, there was a substitute host, and you could head over there and see who did play.

Like Riding a Bicycle

Sveta and I were having a talk the other day about things that turn us on (why not, right?) and she mentioned that she'd seen some porn with pissing and was interested in it, in an intellectual sort of way. She asked me why I liked it, having seen by now the blog posts where I talk about it. And my brain came to a crashing halt.

Because, see, I'm not sure why I like it. It's been so long since I did anything involving watersports. A long time. I know I enjoyed it once, and I still find it sexy, in a sort of naughty way. But do I want Sveta to piss in my mouth?

Sveta says she's up for anything, but Sveta wants to make me happy, and I'm not sure I care enough to get back into it with her. And that still doesn't answer the question of what about it makes me turned on. I admit that watching a man piss onto a willing woman (and sometimes even a restrained one, although that's darker territory that I don't enjoy even as I enjoy it) turns me on. And in the past, I wanted to be that woman. But why?

Maybe it's degradation. Maybe I want to degrade myself. And as I get older, I don't really want to degrade anyone as much. I don't want to be called a slut, or slapped, or hit, or any of the other rough things I might once have been up for. I don't want anonymous, rough, degrading sex. But the idea still turns me on.

Or maybe it's sexualization of an activity that isn't sexual. Maybe watersports, like masturbating to Disney movies or getting off on wearing certain non-sexual clothes, is a relic of my past. I'm not saying I mind that sex creeps into other things; it's a part of life, and the way I live, it's bound to get wound up in other aspects of my life.

Maybe I once had an answer. Or maybe I never thought about it. But either way, I'm not sure now. In fact, I'm not totally sure why a lot of things turn me on. Most of them just do. Is it a bad thing to over-analyze your predilections, or is it worse to under-analyze them?

So I told her I didn't know why, and that I hadn't done it in a while, and that I'd be happy to do whatever she'd like, but I wasn't in desperate need of it or anything. Which wasn't a very good answer, so I said that maybe I should tell her some stories about it and she could judge for herself, and after some stories, with assorted questions, she said that she might like to try it some time, but the idea of drinking piss kind of squicked her. To which I replied that I understood that completely, because frankly, at this point, the idea squicks me a little too, and it probably squicked me when I was younger, but I was so intent on proving that I could do anything that I just did it and acquired a taste for it.

But maybe it's not like riding a bicycle. Maybe it's a taste which faded as I got out of practice. And if I don't miss it, much, then I might be content to just let it fade away. Unless, of course, someone wants to try it after reading this, in which case, we'll start slow.

Five

Five years ago on this day I started this blog with this post. Go back and read it if you'd like, relive the memories (not that I imagine there were many people who actually read it the first day it was up), whatever.

Now, five years later, it's a bit different. I'm not 20-something (gasp). I have fewer stories to tell, and I get off less on telling them than I used to because I've run out of the exciting ones and most of the ones that remain are more banal, at least to my mind. I have less time and energy.

I'm not stopping. But I'm reevaluating. And I'm having to slow down a bit because, let's face it, blogs are no substitute for real life.

A lot of very nice people (well, a lot relatively speaking anyway) have said that they don't care, that they want me to continue as I have been, even if I'm not constantly telling exciting stories. They like the blog, and that touches me. Several have gone so far as to say that they wish I would branch out into more fiction, the way some of my fellow bloggers do. Hell, a few have even said they'd read something I wrote even if it weren't erotic at all.

Basically, I love each and every one of you, and I hope you'll bear with me as I try to sort things out a bit. And if things change in a way you don't like, I hope you won't hate me for doing what I have to do. I'm not saying that it's not my blog to do with what I please, but it pleases me to please you in some way. Without you, I wouldn't be blogging, I'd be masturbating. And that's not as interesting.

Flash Fiction Friday is wonderful, and I wish I had the ability to do it every week. Lately, things have conspired to stop me. I could see doing fiction, but it would be a different blog then, and I'm not sure I shouldn't just start a different blog if that's what I'm planning on doing. There are also concerns of paranoia; every day this blog is up is a day that I worry, just a little, that it will hurt someone I love. In hindsight, I'm not sure it was a good idea to start blogging as I did; I should have been more circumspect. And now I'm faced with the choice: do I continue as I have and worry more and more, or do I stop and disappoint people?

I'm thinking about things. That's where I am. I wrote this in advance, just in case I wasn't able to make it online on the actual anniversary, so rest assured that I'm thinking about things.

To keep this from being overly depressing, here's an old snapshot I dug out of the box. I'm not sure when or where it was taken, but it was a happy time. I'm in there somewhere. I'll leave it to you to figure out where; it shouldn't be difficult. Simpler times, simpler pleasures. It's perhaps more graphic than usual, but I'm tired of teasing, I guess.

Maybe TMI Tuesday

The TMI questions haven't spoken to me of late, or I haven't been around to answer them, but I was looking for something to do and stumbled upon this list of 168 questions, which I shall endeavor to answer, even though many of them are bad/stupid. It'll be fun. Really.

1. Do you think it’s rad to have alcoholism? Nope. Not at all.
2. have you had sex Yes. Yes I have.
3. who won the world cup in 1956 Ah, the internet is replete with information. No one did. They didn't have one that year.
4. what is your favorite instrument? I like the guitar a lot, because I can play it.
5. Why am I sad? If you find out, let me know because I am a lot too.
6. Do you like cheesecake? Not really. Sacrilege, I know.
7. Where are you? At Sveta's. The internet has been partially resolved.
8. why the fuck is this screen moving in rainbow colors? LSD? Answering a question with a question.
9. whos on first Yes, yes he is.
10. you hungry? A little.
11. why 42
12. why does light bend on water Because the relative densities of water and air are different, and the speed of light is dependent on the medium through which the light is moving.
13. anything? well.. why did we decide to call the sky blue? We didn't. The sky is blue sometimes, but I'm pretty sure that blue came before the sky was called blue.
14. Who is the most beautiful woman in my life right now? Your life? Me? No, probably not.
15. Do you enjoy ana sex? I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they meant anal, not anorexic (which is bad, kids) and yes, I do like anal sex.
16. What does it mean if it hurts when I pee? Damnit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a urologist!
17. how old are you? Older than I'd like to be.
18. are you a fucking idiot? Only sometimes.
19. shortest time to run a mile No idea. A long time. I hate running long distances. Sprints were always my thing, and I don't run at all any more.
20. i am bored. whats should i do? Learn to type.
21. how are you? I've been better, but I've been worse.
22. will you fundle my breasts? Sure. Present them.
23. Do you eat poop? Nope. Squicks me out something terrible.
24. Do you like carrots? Sure.
25. how old are you Just answered that one, and at least the previous question had a question mark.
26. how old are you? (no homo) :D Wow, people have a lot of spare time. Like me.
27. Have you ever liked a poison frog No, poison frogs are terrible mooches, at least the ones I've known. Maybe if I just gave them a chance... Oh, you meant have I licked a poison frog. No. Sounds like a bad idea.
28. do u suck penises Yes.
29. hola Como esta? I don't speak Spanish.
30. What is your favorite animal? Cats, probably. I'm okay with dogs, but I really love cats. Sveta and I are thinking of getting one when we get a place of our own.
31. Do you like waffles? Yes. Yes I do.
32. Shits on dicks when you see tits? Not to the best of my knowledge.
33. who is the smartest person in the world Certainly not you.
34. What is your purpose? Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? As good as any, I guess.
35. weiner? If it's a sausage, sure. If it's a cock, sure.
36. virgin or not? Not for a long time.
37. do you believe in the tooth fairy? Yes. I just don't have any more teeth to give him.
38. Do you put used toilet paper in the toilet or trash can? Toilet. Who uses a trash can?
39. What degree should I get from college? Not theater. Probably something medical.
40. why aren’t we just nice to each other? Because some people just won't learn, so we have to hit them really hard.
41. are you a negro? Are you a racist?
42. what is your sexuality? Anywhere I can find it.
43. Have you ever sucked a penis on someone with breasts? No. I would though.
44. green? Lemon curry?
45. are you a lesbian When the situation calls for it.
46. When will I be rich. When you learn to ask questions with question marks, and then only if you wish really, really hard on a big old star.
47. Are you a psychic? Yes. I can see into the future for almost two seconds sometimes.
48. Are you awesome? Maybe. I'll leave that to my critics to answer.
49. sup? Lemon curry?
50. Are you gay? If the situation calls for it.
51. If you could take any reality tv show off air, which one would it be? All of them?
52. are u horny Why, yes, yes I am.
53. What’s up? A direction.
54. can you fly? In my dreams sometimes, or if I got a valid pilot's license and didn't repudiate the Bernouli principal.
55. who are you To quote myself: "I have a sex life that some people seem to find entertaining to read about, so I write about it when I can. But I'm no stranger than anyone else, really. Just looking for love."
56. what’s your favorite color? Red, purple, or black.
57. How hot am i? Get a thermometer and see.
58. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Egypt maybe. Russia maybe.
59. how do I tell my boss I want a raise?! You: "Hi Boss, I'd like a raise." Boss: "Sorry, you don't properly capitalize things."
60. have you ever been in love with your bestfriend ?? Yes.
61. do you like latin women? Some of them.
62. Do you like drugs, and if yes which ones and how often do you use them? Not really so much any more. And only ever pot.
63. have you had sex with both genders? Yep.
64. Drugs=awesome, correct? Incorrect.
65. why are there so many colours? Because the cones in our eyes can distinguish that many. A better question might be, "Why can't we see some colors?" but that's a topic for another day.
66. are you gay? Are you?
67. what makes the world go around? Inertia. What started it moving? No idea.
68. Do you like me? Sure, why not.
69. are you gay? Lemon curry?
70. Why do bees hum? Their wings beat at such a high rate that we perceive it as humming.
71. what are you A redhead with too much time on her hands right now.
72. What are you? Not John K. That much is certain.
73. Are you female or male? Female.
74. can i see boobs Are you blind? If so, probably not. If not, seek some out and I bet you'll be able to see them.
75. blonde or brunette? Neither.
76. how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 14.3 cubic feet per minute.
77. whats going to happen in 2012? A lot of the same old crap, I imagine.
78. are you pointless? Probably.
79. Do you prefer joints of bongs? Is that like a joint of mutton?
80. Who are you? Lemon curry?
81. When will the world end? When we finally achieve lasting Mid-East peace, I bet.
82. will i pass? For what? A human being? Probably.
83. do you like arcade fire? Nope.
84. Here we are all by ourselves? Lemon curry?
85. Do you have a tattoo? No. I might get one one day though.
86. what’s music? Webster's defines music as "vocal, instrumental, or mechanical sounds having rhythm, melody, or harmony." Works for me.
87. what time is it? Past my bedtime.
88. penis or vagina? Both please, as many as you have.
89. what is it? Lemon curry?
90. do you want to play a game? Global Thermonuclear war.
91. Have you ever posted naked pics of yourself on the internet? If so, where? Yes, and here.
92. are you gay ? Yes, okay, fine, you talked me into it. I'm gay! Out of the closet with me!
93. Are you fat? Sometimes I'm fatter than I'd like to be, but that's narcissistic of me to say.
94. is megan fox hot? Eh.
95. are you a racist? Are you the person who asked about negroes earlier?
96. Sex life? Yes please.
97. Can you juggle? A little.
98. scemo di merda nil carborundum
99. where am i going? Around the sun, I imagine.
100. What’s the meaning of life? 42
101. do you know god? We've chatted.
102. hai bb Lemon curry?
103. kirk or picard Kirk. Sorry Picard, you're hot and all, but Kirk is my man.
104. what is your favorite color Light Tuesday.
105. How are you today? Better than worse, worse than better.
106. Are you My evil twin? I don't know; I don't think I'm evil. Maybe you're mine.
107. what is the temperature of the sun? Hot.
108. What is your favorite TV show? Futurama, why not. Pat answer.
109. how old are you? 30, okay. I have become ancient.
110. how many fingers am I holding up? More than -1, less than 25.
111. what’s your name? Lexi.
112. what? Who?
113. What shall I do now? Frankly my dear, I don't give a rat's ass.
114. what is this? What is that?
115. What’s with the rainbow crawl background? More LSD?
116. Are you gay? No, in the time between the last time I answered this question and now, I was successfully converted by a televangelist.
117. how aRE YOU Why are you?
118. What’s the first 100 digits of pi? "3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209 7494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651 3282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102 7019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461 2847564823378678316527120190914564856692346034861045432 6648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920 9628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841 4695194151160943305727036575959195309218611738193261179" That's probably enough.
119. do you like cats as much as my kitten cars? I have no idea.
120. how big is your dick? Huge. Massive. Gargantuan.
121. do you like pink? Yes.
122. What city do you live in? Anywhereville USA.
123. What is your favorite snack Kettle chips. So bad for you, but so good.
124. rim jobs? good or not? I'm not a huge fan of receiving, and I don't really like to give. Okay, I guess.
125. what color shirt am i wearing? Lemon curry?
126. are you gay Thank god, I was afraid I'd never break the brainwashing. That damn televangelist. Yes! I'm out again!
127. Yo bitch, Do you ever think that we will discover life outside of our terrestial zone? I don't think there's life inside your terrestrial zone, my friend.
128. What do most people ask you? Take off your shirt! No, only kidding. Lots of things, depending on how well they know me.
129. how your dog? Dead. I've made peace with it.
130. Why should I even bother getting up I wouldn't if I were you.
131. do you like rim jobs? At this point, I'd take any job.
132. do you love me No. Fellow human feeling, certainly, but not love.
133. How do u sex? Examine the pubic region for the genital opening, then determine if the item is male or female based on experience.
134. will you think twice before you touch my girl? Do you treat her well? Then yes. If not, probably yes anyway.
135. are you stupid I'm beginning to think so.
136. Which do you prefer dicks or vagina? That's a hard question to answer. Possibly vagina by a thin margin.
137. Do you have two eyeballs? Yes.
138. do you like tom hanks? He's okay.
139. what is your favorite drink? OJ, straight up.
140. have you ever spanked the monkey in the rain Yes, actually, I have, if that can refer to a woman masturbating.
141. what the fuck is up bro? A direction. I told you already. No need to get snippy.
142. How big is your penis? Tiny. I lied before.
143. do you eat cum Yep. Cheerfully.
144. how is it possible? Many things are.
145. What’s your favorite part about sex? Penetration. Or creampies. Or making my girl cum. I like a lot of things about sex.
146. when was the universe created A long time ago. I believe in dinosaurs.
147. What’s you opinion on the reformation? Martin Luther had a few decent ideas, but like all people with decent ideas (Jesus, I'm looking in your direction too) people came along and misinterpreted those ideas for the worse.
148. what’s your favorite monkey? Golden lion tamarin.
149. Do you like beef Yes. I feel guilty about that, but I love beef.
150. what if i said i love you? I'd wonder about your mental state.
151. what are you Not easily quantified.
152. would you like them ffitted? Lemon curry?
153. How old are you? Old enough to know better?
154. what is this It's a bad question.
155. have you ever tried to lick your elbow? Not until just now.
156. what is the easiest way to blow shit up? ANFO probably. That's Mythbusters talking.
157. What pisses you off the most? Injustice.
158. My husband smokes weed more than he spends time with me. Should I be worried? Yes, I'd say so.
159. How did the world begin I'm leaning toward the Big Bang, but honestly, I don't really care.
160. who are you No one of importance.
161. do you like dick? Do you like Jane?
162. What do you like? All sorts of things.
163. Who has the best breasts? I'll just have to look at them all and get back to you.
164. how big is your dick? Don't have one. Fooled you.
165. am i rich I'm guessing not, because most people aren't, and won't be, no matter what anyone says.
166. Whats up? Your lack of apostrophe.
167. WEED? No, I till; it aerates the soil and returns the nutrients to it.
168. have u ever let a guy fuck u in the ass Yes.

Wow, those were bad. In fairness, they were supposed to be. They were just an example of all the stupid questions people ask. But I had a bit of fun with them, I think.