TMI Tuesday

From the archives:

How do you like . . .
1. Your eggs cooked?

Totally depends on my mood.  I love a good fried egg, although I sometimes have a hard time cooking them so the whites are cooked but the yolk is still runny.  Great with toast.  But if I'm having hash or scrapple of some kind, I want good scrambled eggs so I can mash them all together and spread them on toast because I'm disgusting and I don't care.

When I was young, I used to hate poached eggs because my mother always made them with vinegar in the water to keep them from spreading and I don't like the smell or taste of vinegar with eggs.  But I've since had them without the vinegar, or somehow the vinegar hasn't put me off, and enjoy them as well.  I don't like Hollandaise sauce so I don't go for eggs Benedict, but a good, lightly-poached egg is a wonderful thing, although I get the same pleasure, and considerably less hassle, from a good fried egg.

I enjoy a hard boiled egg on occasion.  I haven't had a soft boiled one in ages.  Eggs... sometimes I think they're disgusting and slimy.  Sometimes I enjoy them.  I like omelettes too, although I have no luck making those unless they're plain.  Frittata are also excellent when done well.  And quiche doesn't really count, but I love quiche.

I like food.

2. Your sandwich cut? In half, down the middle of the square or on the diagonal?

I don't care.  I really don't.  Most of the time I'm happy to eat a sandwich uncut.  No, that's not a euphemism for anything.  I just don't have a preference for sandwich slicing.

3. Your coffee?

If it's excellent coffee, I will drink it black.  Anything else, I'll either gulp it down black or put a lot of cream and sugar in it.  I also like iced coffee.  I drink coffee rarely any more because it doesn't do anything for me.

4. Your tea?

I cannot understand putting lemon in tea.  I know some people think that's the only way to drink Earl Grey, and I think they're mad because Earl Grey already has bergamot in it, so it doesn't need citrus.  I like it very sweet and iced, or hot in any number of varieties, usually sweetened a little unless it's bad tea.  I like tea quite a bit, and if it's good I'll drink it however it seems best.

5. Your ice-cream served–cup, cone or condom? Yup you read that right, a condom. Read more here.

Don't much care about ice cream.  In a cup is fine.  If it's in a cone, I prefer sugar or waffle to those terribly bland and dry cake cones which go all soggy and disgusting.  Honestly, I've been to a DQ and asked them to make me a brownie Blizzard without the ice cream.  They looked at me funny, but they presented me with a cup full of brownie bits covered in fudge sauce, and that's all I really wanted.  I do not like a la mode.  That's what whipped cream is for.

6. Your hair–long or short? Up or down? Straight or curly? Permed or natural?

I don't perm, so that's that out of the way.  I really wish I had a magic wand which would let me change my hair on a whim.  If I had that, most of the time, for everyday use, I'd keep it short in the house and then lengthen it to go out.  Occasionally I might go for curls; I've been talked into curling my hair at various times in my life and I love the way it looks when it works, but it's a pain in the ass because my hair doesn't take curls well.  And I hate hair spray.

But since I can't do that, I like the look of long even though it drives me crazy sometimes and takes forever to wash and dry, so I let it grow long.  I pull it back for work or anything where it would get in my face and annoy me.  I let it down to be sexy.  I just don't feel sexy with short hair; if I did, I would shave my damn head and be done with it in a fit of annoyance.  Fortunately I haven't gotten that crazy yet.  I've had shorter and longer hairstyles in my life, and I don't like the way shorter looks on me.  I've never been pixie, although some of my friends are convinced I'd be drop-dead in a pixie do.

Short answer: long, straight, up for business, down for pleasure, always natural.

7. To have sex? In what position?

How do I like to have sex?  As frequently as possible, with as many fun people as possible.  Position-wise, I'm an old fogey but I really do love missionary unless it's anal, in which case doggy is the way to go.  I like looking my lover in the eye, plus hey, lying on my back means less work for me, right?

Bonus: How do you like your lovers?

Like my coffee.

No, only kidding.  I take them as they come (pun only slightly intended) and I'm not super-picky, although I seem to skew younger and slimmer for the ladies and older for the gentlemen, given my preference.  I've denied it for years but I think I'm not a breast man.  Probably an ass man, although I like the tummy a lot.  In men, I'm not looking for cut or muscular.  I am much more cosmopolitan in body type for men, and that often makes me feel shallow when I'm checking out the ladies, but I've bucked preferences before quite happily, so it's more whom I enjoy ogling than whom I want to take as a lover.