"And in the semi-autonomous region of Abkhazia, I think... three regiments should do it." She was on a roll. "Now, turning to Chechnya..."
Her firm breasts, pouting lips, high, proud buttocks... who would have thought she was the most brilliant military mind of the age, perhaps of any age. I longed to penetrate her defenses, assault her rear echelon, ram my offensive column through the weak section in her line. But I was far too stupid for her.
"Sir!" My adjutant broke through the door, as expected, and his voice was shocked, as expected. He averted his eyes as I scowled at him. "Sir... dispatches from the Second Army."
He'd seen her at my desk, leaning over, totally naked. To his eyes, defiantly, she awaited my command. As it should be. As she wanted him to see her.
But once he left, red-faced, she looked down coldly at my hand which lingered on her thigh, though purely for appearances I assured her, and I quickly removed it. "Come, General," she said with a sigh. "Remember the parts we play and when we play them. Back to the map."
I'm trying, I really am, but I seem unable to have any happy endings. I suppose this is happier than sad, but there's limited sex going on. I do love the idea of a brilliant military mind planning her conquests totally naked.
A few things: in case you were wondering what the Hell the title means, BOQ stands for Bachelor Officer's Quarters. I trust you see the connection now (maybe not). Yes, I did only write this because I wanted to write erotica featuring the words, "semi-autonomous region" (hey PB, how about that for a phrase to work in?) and it seemed somewhat more East than West, so I went for Russian problems. Also, I like Russia. Feel free to read two other place names into it if you're so inclined (Mongolia and Korea, respectively, would work for a Far East flavor of apocalyptic militaria). And the phrase... limiting in the extreme. I know I've been told I can dispense with them, but that seems like cheating. Not that I'm complaining, really; this week's phrase gave me pause, that's all.
I've got nothing else to say. I can't live up to the vaunted expectations for my FFF post-game show this week, I guess. For all those looking to read an epic treatment of my mental process, why not try out Flash Fiction Friday next week and write an epic mental process treatment of your own? The only thing stopping you is your lack of participation.
13 comments:
LOL! You're too entertaining. ;-)
I, too, love the idea of a brilliant military mind planning his/her conquests totally naked. They should do that in real life. Hmmm... The General Assembly is going on at the U.N. this week. Perhaps, they should do all their meetings desnuda... Just a thought. ;-)
~CP
I don't know where you get these weird ideas. Not the FFF itself, that was brilliant. The weird idea that your postgame commentaries aren't interesting or enlightening or fascinating (they are all three). :)
I haven't read any military thrillers in a while so it took me a while to dredge up BOQ from my internal lexicon. Wouldn't let myself read it till I did.
And sometimes happy endings just aren't in the cards. Rozewolf and I didn't have happy endings this week either (although hers is rather more cheerful than mine).
Thanks as always for playing!
-- PB
That was brilliant!!!!
erotica does not "have to" have a happy ending...
and this had the feel of a snippet of a larger piece, one i'd love to read more of.
like when she takes that final tumble, not for the General, but some lowly dude. The cook. Head groomsman. The guy who cleans the latrines.
So, well done, my dear. Don't sell yourself short.
nilla
@CP: You have different taste in which people you'd like to see naked than I do, dear ;) Still, it might make the world's problems a bit less dire if world leaders had to discuss things naked, even if I might not want to see it happening. And think what it would be like if we all made love and not war ;)
@PB: I loved yours this week, and it's true, it doesn't always have to end happy. I just wish it did because I could use some happy ending in my life (and not that kind, you sick monkeys). I'm glad people enjoy the after-party; I sort of wish everyone would do it, because we could be like a writers' commune that way. I view it as a workshop of sorts, or maybe a master class in erotica. It's an exercise, and I certainly learn from other people as much as I learn from doing it myself.
@Drenchxoxo: What can I say? If it was brilliant, then I'm in good company. Glad you enjoyed it, hun.
@nilla: Ah, false modesty, the last refuge of the egomaniac ;) Only kidding; I do have a lot of excellent competition (or perhaps not competition, but rather company) though, including you. But I'm not selling myself short, just selling this week's wrap-up a bit short because I was too tired to go long. Thanks so much for the compliments; I could write in a vacuum, but that people enjoy my little efforts is gratifying, I won't lie. Hopefully your life will un-busy itself a bit and I can enjoy your efforts as well :)
Interestingly original.
An enjoyable idea.
@Bum Tickler: Thanks hun; I strive for interestingly original in pretty much everything I do ;)
Very clever Lexi - I liked it.
@Red: Funny, everyone seems to think this is so clever and I don't think it is. Perhaps I'm too clever for my own good. It has certainly been said about me ;) Glad you enjoyed it, clever or not.
I don't mind the lack of sex because your treatments are always so original. I try to put a twist on my FFF selections, but you tie them completely in knots.
It reminded me of a book, the title I can't remember, where aliens attached themselves to the shoulders and necks of humans to control them. To assure others they were not under alien control, everyone began working topless.
I love your work, and if you don't want to explain them, don't, they speak for themselves.
@Advizor: Everyone's taking my self-criticisms so seriously. I promise, I'm not about to quit doing this because I wasn't able to live up to my unliveupable standards this week. Or every week. I always enjoy yours too, and if you think of the title of that book, let me know because topless is always more fun. Not as fun as totally naked, of course...
(how did I miss your FFF submission?)
I had quite a laugh with this one, reading about defenses being penetrated, assaulting and ramming. That was - as usual - original!
@Spring Flower: I don't know how you missed it, but you didn't miss it by a week or anything, so who cares :) Yeah, okay, you caught me: I really only wrote it because I wanted to make military double entendres. Oh, and use "semi-autonomous region" in erotica. Glad you enjoyed it, hun.
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