Flash Fiction Friday - Who's the Fairest of Them All?

He stole into her chambers furtively, straining to stop the sound of each heavy boot, his beard pulled over his face to muffle his breathing. Past the mirror on the wall, past the poison apples, to the bath. And there she stood in the shadows, towering over him, her back turned; the candles' glow was like his rage. She was naked and beautiful, but he didn't hesitate. "This is for Snow White," Grumpy cried, then drove his vengeful blade home.

---

I had to edit the hell out of this to get it to work in the constraints (60 to 88 words).  I actually thought it was 80, which meant I cut harder than I had to, but I think it stripped away the fat.

Where did this one come from?  Okay, prepare for a bit of a roller coaster as we attempt to navigate my train of thought.  It might be interesting to see how my mind works.  Or terrifying.

I started out thinking about the tub as a magical portal, because the lighting was just right.  But everything else was too modern.  I toyed with several ideas along those lines before chucking the whole thing.  Then, I was looking at the picture and realized that the camera angle is actually quite low (although now I think about it, it's almost crotch-height, so there's an avenue I didn't explore that might have been exciting).  Plus it seemed kind of peering in rather than expected.  So who would interrupt this scene who was also short enough to have that eye level?  An animal?  Nope, not going to write that one for this blog, either that or it wouldn't be terribly interesting.  A kid?  There's certainly an opportunity to write something about her being surprised in the bath by a child, but it didn't inspire me (and no, I'm not talking about sexually, I'm just saying that children do bust through doors with humorous consequences).

Then (I told you this was a ride) I thought about homunculi.  Was this a sexy story of a creation and its creator?  I started there, but for some reason began thinking dwarf instead (not dwarf as in achondroplasia, but as in Snow White and the Seven, obviously).  So maybe one of the dwarves was making his way into Snow White's boudoir for some naughty time?  It certainly wouldn't be the first time someone wrote a story about that.  But the ass in question seemed a bit... curvy for the common image of poor Snow White, who seems to be pretty flat in several areas (she'll grow into it, of course).  So maybe the dwarf in question was visiting someone else?  The evil Queen?  Yes, I could have had a dwarf sneaking into the Queen's boudoir for some naughty time too, not without precedent, but then it occurred to me that if I had been one of the dwarves, I would have settled that bitch's hash sharpish after she killed the only woman in my life.

Thus, nemesis, in the person of Grumpy, who seemed most likely to go for such things.  It's such a short vignette for any kind of twist, so while I didn't come right out and say it up front, I think I made it pretty obvious before I actually said it at the end.

On investigation, it seems that the Queen gets killed by lightning in the film (which is consistently listed as the greatest animated movie of all time, showing just how terrible people's taste is) which I didn't remember because I haven't seen the movie but once when I was younger and didn't like it then.  So I'm doing a bit of revision.  Revenge is a dish best served cold.  I think, actually, the events in my vignette occurred after Snow White was awakened by her prince and has told the prince and the dwarves just how much of a bitch the evil Queen really is, at which point Grumpy infiltrates the palace with his assassin skills and terminates her with extreme prejudice to revenge everything, not just the seeming death of Snow White.  Then they all go back to Casa Charming to have a crazy orgy.  That part is definitely not canon.

And there you have it: the explanation that's ten times longer than the piece itself.  I'm such a tool.  You could be a tool too if you headed over to Flash Fiction Friday and dropped some fiction on our collective asses.  Then you could write something about how your piece on a guy fucking a girl in the ass is really a metaphor for the Spanish Civil War and the growth of mechanization in modern warfare.  I look forward to hearing about it.  Make it short.