Personal Stuff

My philosophy in writing this blog has always been somewhat different from many other bloggers (not all, but many): I try to keep personal drama to a minimum.  That's not because I want to deny it or that I necessarily think that people won't find it interesting.  I know some people have told me that they're happy reading whatever I write (to which I respond, "Oh yeah, that sounds like a challenge to me.") and I'm perfectly happy to read other people's diaries in blog-land, particularly the diaries of people who are interesting and post much more frequently than I do.

I can't keep personal shit out completely, of course, but my guiding principle is to include it only if it helps me tell the story I'm trying to tell (and by story I don't mean fiction, I just mean the story of whatever occurrence is currently on the list).  There are drawbacks: it makes it seem like all I do is fuck, which isn't true at all.  I know I have more sex than many people and I'm lucky, but my sex life isn't that exciting when it's in the context of the rest of my life.  It's punctuation unless I separate it out (which is why I rated my previous weekend so-so, instead of judging it based only on the sex I had, in which case it would come up in the ratings considerably).  Also, by putting the kibosh on the personal drama, I may strip away some of the things which make me seem less like a cardboard cut-out.

The thing is, I know that people don't mind reading things that aren't sexy.  I know that people don't mind learning more about the gal behind the sex.  I know all these things both because people have told me this and because I would probably be right there with them if I were reading the blog and not writing it.  But even though I know, I still keep the non-sex stuff to a minimum... because I don't want to write about it.

I'm a private person (I know, that sounds like such bullshit, but really I'm very private about most things).  Sex doesn't happen to be something that I feel private about but other things I definitely keep to myself.  It may not be healthy but there it is.  But beyond that, I just don't like writing about the shit that happens because it doesn't make me feel any better.  It makes me feel worse sometimes because it's rehashing unpleasantness.

So for the record, I am not leading this charmed life where no one ever fights or gets mad or stops speaking to one another or yells or is depressed or sad or whatever.  I don't know that anyone thought this but sometimes it seems like it to me when I think about what I write versus what I leave out.  My family are big fighters.  We yell and scream and curse.  Doesn't make us stop loving each other and so I tend to leave out the spats.  And I have worries.  Plenty of them.  But there's no real point in my bringing them up unless they directly affect the course of the tale unfolding.  Sveta and I have our bad days.  It's hard doing the long-distance thing.  I do stupid shit all the time.  I cry.

But that's not why I'm writing this blog.  I'm writing this blog because I started out wanting to tell a few stories for a small audience of dedicated perverts and hopefully we'd all get off in the process.  It has morphed somewhat away from that (if it hadn't, I would only tell stories of the past, rather than the present) but it's still about my sex life, rather than my whole life (and I still hope we all get off in the process).  And that's simply because most of the rest of it doesn't make me horny.  The stuff that does ends up here, the stuff that doesn't... cutting room floor.  That's obviously not always true but it's a guideline.

Bottom line: I'm sorry if it's all sex all the time around here but I hope you enjoy it.  And I'm sorry if it makes it seem like I have hot and cold running sex 24/7/365.25 or that I'm living the perfect life.  Please don't be jealous of me; it's pretty much a perception based on faulty evidence.  And please forgive me when I break my own rules and talk about personal shit or write entries like this with little in the way of sexy about them.  Sometimes things come out.  Probably healthy.

You can be a little jealous of me because, whatever else, I have had some terrific sex with some terrific lovers and I'm expecting that trend to continue even if everything else goes straight to shit.  I shall cease with my horn-tooting now.